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LABOR SELF-DESTRUCTION WATCH

The comrades are seething! Maul highlights:

* Simon says Kim is a hypocrite and a liar; Kim says the same about Simon. Lindsay says Julia should shut up, and George wants Julia to go away because she wasn’t nice to Kim after Kim didn’t help Simon, who doesn’t like Kim’s friend Stephen.

* Julia says she’ll be Kim’s friend only until the next election.

* Stephen should quit, says Julia. Also, Kim must take on the scary warlords. Simon says that Kim has to change.

* In Victoria, Steve is putting friendly hacks in power because he owes them favours. Kim’s friend Stephen gets called names.

* Steve says Morris is a big girl.

* Stephen doesn’t want to quit. Simon is unhappy. Julia would like Kim to pay her more attention.

* Stephen has many enemies. So does Simon. Lots of people think Simon is deluded. Simon hates Stephen and another Stephen and also Wayne and Jenny.

* Kim thinks Simon is wrong.

* Kim says Simon asked him for help, and he said no.

* Simon says he didn’t ask Kim for help.

* Simon is beating Kim in a poll.

* Julia says the whole party is a faction-ridden debacle.

* Warren wants everybody to be nice.

Posted by Tim B. on 03/08/2006 at 11:02 PM
  1. Lol

    “10 more years”
    “10 more years”

    Posted by knuckleheadwatch on 2006 03 08 at 11:11 PM • permalink

  2. I wonder what Scott and Sharlene have to say

    Posted by knuckleheadwatch on 2006 03 08 at 11:13 PM • permalink

  3. that just inspires confidence doesn’t it?

    but isn’t warren a little sweety

    Posted by Mr.Nick on 2006 03 08 at 11:15 PM • permalink

  4. Is this the new sitcom on Oz TV?

    Posted by Michael Lonie on 2006 03 08 at 11:22 PM • permalink

  5. ...and lil’ Kev is strangely silent…for once.

    Posted by murph on 2006 03 08 at 11:22 PM • permalink

  6. bold off?

    OK who broke it left the cupboard unlocked this time?

    Posted by kae on 2006 03 08 at 11:26 PM • permalink

  7. OK, maybe THIS will work…...

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 03 08 at 11:32 PM • permalink

  8. Yessir!

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 03 08 at 11:32 PM • permalink

  9. The most interesting thing is where is Kevin Rudd who loves nothing more than getting on the tele! see http://weekbyweek7.blogspot.com/

    Posted by WeekByWeek on 2006 03 08 at 11:36 PM • permalink

  10. If it were the local bowls club you’d shut it down.

    Posted by lingus4 on 2006 03 08 at 11:55 PM • permalink

  11. If this were the local bowls club it would never have got off the ground.

    Posted by Hanyu on 2006 03 08 at 11:57 PM • permalink

  12. if it were the Glen Eira Council, you’d shut it down—oh, wait…they did shut it down!

    Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 03 08 at 11:57 PM • permalink

  13. I kept looking for Luke and Laura but alas.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2006 03 09 at 12:25 AM • permalink

  14. So next election the Greens will be filling the opposition benches?

    Posted by anthony_r on 2006 03 09 at 12:34 AM • permalink

  15. 15 years of Howard, 15 years of Costello.
    Just a theory.

    Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 03 09 at 12:38 AM • permalink

  16. Well Tim, you didn’t come good with a few expected posts referring to John Howard’s 10th anniversary.
    I guess the ALP stole the ‘bash’, so I can’t be surprised.

    Posted by Barrie on 2006 03 09 at 12:40 AM • permalink

  17. Nobody hates each other more than ALP comrades and mates.

    So if you are a member of the ALP and someone says, “Comrade (and/or mate), let’s have a chat,” make sure to watch your back, your job and possibly your missus”.

    Posted by Major Anya on 2006 03 09 at 12:43 AM • permalink

  18. Shut down??? God! No, put down would be more humane.

    Posted by waussie on 2006 03 09 at 12:46 AM • permalink

  19. Okay, I’m talking to Karl.  I’m gonna ask him to take a minute out of putting the entire House Appropriations Committee out of sanction and send Cheney’s cardiologist to Australia.  You gotta keep Howard around as long as possible…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 03 09 at 12:52 AM • permalink

  20. #7 The_Real_Jeffs

    OK, maybe THIS will work…...

    How did you do that?

    Every other time someone let the bolds out, nobody could kill it. You are saving the site a fortune in bold tags!

    Posted by Dan Lewis on 2006 03 09 at 12:54 AM • permalink

  21. The single best posting of the blog Tim.  Well done, I hope someone pointed it out for Howard it makes a wonderful present.

    Posted by allan on 2006 03 09 at 01:08 AM • permalink

  22. In other developments….
    Paul Keating does not have a ‘skerrick of bitterness towards Howard’

    How could ANYONE have dreamed that he had?

    Now, if someone can get one of the Labor twits to gave a go at Biff Latham, then the current dust-up will be worth watching.

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 03 09 at 01:13 AM • permalink

  23. So, can we assume that the ALP is as FUBAR as the US Democrats?

    That was just pitiful.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 03 09 at 01:16 AM • permalink

  24. I dunno. If the ALP get the same swing they got in 98 next time, they will win. The nature of Aus politics is such that a small swing either way can look like a landslide.

    Posted by Tasman on 2006 03 09 at 01:28 AM • permalink

  25. As my late father would have said “It’d make a cat laugh”.

    Posted by Mick Gill on 2006 03 09 at 01:46 AM • permalink

  26. Oh, how sweet it is.

    After living through the Liberal “Arthur or Martha” Howard/Peacock era of the 80’s and then being convinced by Labor PM Paul Keating to become a card-carrying Liberal Party member, I’m just loving this. Every day is a party :)

    Posted by Tom H on 2006 03 09 at 02:05 AM • permalink

  27. Life is GOOD. I love watching braindead reactionary corruptionist losers like the ALP squabbling over the spoils… of permanent opposition.

    MarkL
    Canberra

    Posted by MarkL on 2006 03 09 at 02:09 AM • permalink

  28. I’m sure they have the best interests of the Aussie public at heart tho… ;)

    Posted by Lucky Nutsacks on 2006 03 09 at 02:27 AM • permalink

  29. # 24 “If the ALP get the same swing they got in 98 next time, they will win.”

    But they lost in 98 with that swing. So if they get it again they will lose again.

    Posted by Toryhere2 on 2006 03 09 at 02:43 AM • permalink

  30. Julia wants to be the boss of the sandbox if Kim doesn’t win.

    Posted by powderkeg on 2006 03 09 at 02:43 AM • permalink

  31. OT - I just watched an episode of the Best of Monty Python on public broadcasting.  (laughs)  I saw a skit that made two references to names or phrases used on this blog.  The first was someone who called himself Spiny Norman.  The second was a reference to a great German composer with maybe 50 names that took a good minute to recite.  At the end they would say “of Ulm”.  So that’s where Richard McEnroe got that phrase.

    You know, anyone who frequents this blog would do well to watch two television shows, Star Trek and Monty Python.  Then everything here will make more sense.

    Posted by wronwright on 2006 03 09 at 02:45 AM • permalink

  32. Star Trek, Monty Python and Benny Hill…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 03 09 at 02:51 AM • permalink

  33. Off topic but did you see they’ve brought back that sniffling little criminal Jovicic? What a disgusting piece of sh#t he is. His family, incapable of bringing up a decent memeber of society, go crying to the institutionalised Left, the ABC, SBS and Age, SMH that, in horribly making Australia a safer country, the evil Howard government deported their lovely brother. I wonder how the people he burgled - 34 in one week - feel about this idiot’s return. Take him out and shoot him.

    Posted by Karl Fidel Adams-Kingston on 2006 03 09 at 02:57 AM • permalink

  34. Our THREE weapons are Star Trek, Monty Python, Benny Hill and South Park — our FOUR…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 03 09 at 03:07 AM • permalink

  35. Doesn’t look all that interesting as a soap, I mean without an illegitmate baby or a botoxed amnesiac.  Or is this just a teaser for the really juicy bits?

    Posted by Pat Patterson on 2006 03 09 at 03:12 AM • permalink

  36. You often hear these Labor party hacks or pollies saying the party has to stop it as the public aren’t interested in all this internal backstabbing, feral name-calling and internecine warfare…

    but in fact i think plenty of Australians, especially the conservative majority, thinks its great fun watching them ho into each other…  what we’re not really interested in is any of the tripe they periodically serve up as policies…

    thankfully in recent years, we have been able to count on enjoying ourselves every 10 or 12 months…  and long may it contine…

    Posted by casanova on 2006 03 09 at 03:21 AM • permalink

  37. and Dr Who will no doubt explain the periodic Tardis references…..

    i think we ened to get some blackadder and Yes Prime Minister material happening…

    Posted by casanova on 2006 03 09 at 03:22 AM • permalink

  38. How odd - just listening to the news of a dead parrot - died of Parrot Fever, apparently.

    OK, O/T, but Python is funnier than the Labor Party, if only just.  Remember, No-one expects the Spanish ————————-

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 03 09 at 03:23 AM • permalink

  39. It’d be nice to think this squabbling would render Labor unelectable for at least two more terms but then again, the libs had the Hewson to Downer, Downer to Howard problems post 1993 and still went on to win in 1996.

    Complacency is dangerous

    Posted by Francis H on 2006 03 09 at 03:34 AM • permalink

  40. #9

    Kevin has locked himself up with a copy of Dale Carnigie’s How To Win Friends & Inflence People.

    After that he’s off to a seminar:- Confident, Assertive, In Charge: Developing the Attitudes of Leadership.

    He needs some brushing up on the latter. Has to learn how not to give the impression he has something stuck up his arse or is reading from a teleprompter

    Posted by Spag_oz on 2006 03 09 at 04:18 AM • permalink

  41. </b>

    Posted by Andrew R on 2006 03 09 at 04:18 AM • permalink

  42. #39 complacency IS dangerous, but this is all so good i think we can afford to be complacent for just a little while

    10 more years!

    Posted by KK on 2006 03 09 at 04:21 AM • permalink

  43. Speaking of Monty Python, my favourite arguement :-
    http://www.davidpbrown.co.uk/jokes/monty-python-arguement.html[url=http://www.davidpbrown.co.uk/jokes/monty-python-arguement.html

    Posted by Spag_oz on 2006 03 09 at 04:34 AM • permalink

  44. Oops I hit that link twice.

    Posted by Spag_oz on 2006 03 09 at 04:35 AM • permalink

  45. I liked Comrade Kim’s statement a few days ago that the Labor preselection battle in Hotham (Simon Crean) seemed to be ‘Going very well’. This was at the exact same time TV reporters were interviewing scores of Cambodians who were being press-ganged into voting for the Union dork. Most of the Cambodians were saying they had never even heard of the Labor Party let alone did they know they were a member of it!

    Posted by AlphaMikeFoxtrot on 2006 03 09 at 04:49 AM • permalink

  46. Am I the only one getting deja-vu concerning Labor travails?

    3 years ago Simon was having a parachute fitted, Yes?

    Latham appeared as the great Westie savior.

    When you know your policies don’t work and you can’t change your financiers(unions) mind, what option do you have at your disposal other than dazzle them with a star leader?

    Either the Lathamites win and a leadership challenge happens(Gillard the first woman to lead Australia) or Kimbo keeps the seat warm for a union hack who has star billing.

    Just so gross, I’d laugh at them except I fear they may come to power one day.

    N.S.W. is an object lesson for those who forget.

    Never forget the ALP gave us Whitlam-Keating- Latham-Beazleyx2-  who next?

    Posted by gubbaboy on 2006 03 09 at 04:49 AM • permalink

  47. #34 Richard:

    LMAO! Very good! :-D All we need now is for someone to work a “comfy chair” reference in and we’ll be all done.

    And as for the Labor Party - if it was a horse, you’d shoot it!

    Posted by Mr Snuffalupagus on 2006 03 09 at 04:52 AM • permalink

  48. Being fair and balanced, I’m sure that Tim Blair will soon mention the debacle that is the Liberal party.


    Downer and Howard exposed as liars.

    Nick Minchin attends a far right-wing function, admits workchoices is a failure, then proposes further changes.

    Why are right-wingers ignoring these far more serious issues?

    Posted by gustov_deleft on 2006 03 09 at 05:00 AM • permalink

  49. The Victorian Pre-selection battle and it’s fall out is more confusing than the Labor party’s position on the war in Iraq. They are determined not to determine a position.

    Posted by cjblair on 2006 03 09 at 05:33 AM • permalink

  50. Ah, gustov, yet another in a long line of trolls who thinks Tim has to post what he wants.

    Posted by Quentin George on 2006 03 09 at 05:40 AM • permalink

  51. Julia Gillard’s accent is far too similar to Kath Day-Night’s evocative tones for my liking. I get all sorts of unpleasant images of Labor (sic) caucus meetings…

    GILLARD TO BEAZLEY:

    “Kimmy! Look at me, Kimmy, look at me ploise! I have one word to say to you: Fractionalism! I know deep within myself we’ve gotta do something about it and tout suite, Kimmy, tout suite!”

    Posted by tony_e on 2006 03 09 at 05:52 AM • permalink

  52. Go get ‘em Gusty

    And why does the “fair and balanced” Tim ignore the continued sale and promulgation of rindless bacon?

    Not one post

    Also, what about Haliburton profiting from selling tin foil to Palestinians. Nada.

    Nothing is so blind as this wannabe neo-con who cannot see.

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 03 09 at 05:54 AM • permalink

  53. #48, as one who is invariably detached, aloof and indifferent on matters political, I have to say, although I doubt either Howard or Downer are any more liars than the next man, I couldn’t care less if either of them ever uttered a true word again in their lives so long as they continue to exorcise the malignant, putrid, necrotizing disease of leftism from our fair society. If they rid us of the scrofulous, degenerate, puss-filled canker that calls itself ‘progressive’ they will have served their nation well, in my judgment. Not that I care, of course – just saying.

    Posted by hooligan on 2006 03 09 at 06:21 AM • permalink

  54. In true trollish fashion, neither of those links actually proved either of gustov’s points, so the whole argument is moot anyway.

    Posted by Quentin George on 2006 03 09 at 06:27 AM • permalink

  55. Nothing is more amusing than watching the various ALP factions attack each other like rabid dogs.

    Its only amusing if they’re not in power, of course.

    Posted by dee on 2006 03 09 at 07:07 AM • permalink

  56. Ummmm… Gussy… you come and post a Sydney Morning Herald link, thinking it’ll demonstrate your point?  SMH!! {Vomit}

    Think about it (tick, tick, tick…).

    The really funny thing is, you could have linked to a similar-worded story in “The Australian” (slavish right-wing running-dog Howard Hugger organ of the Ruthless Murdoch baby-crushing behemoth) and the story, if not your conclusion, would have had a lot more credibility here.

    BTW, do you ever read a paper other than a Fairfax one?  (Yes, I do the Oz and the Fin Review, thanks for asking).

    Still, I give you points for dogged perseverance in a hostile environment.  Sort of like a tapeworm.

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 03 09 at 07:25 AM • permalink

  57. Just popped in to say “Splitters!”

    Posted by Rob Read on 2006 03 09 at 07:34 AM • permalink

  58. #48 Gusset de left, more interesting than Nick Minchin’s admission that IR reforms had further to go was Beazley’s quavering reaction: 

    http://www.abc.net.au/worldtoday/content/2006/s1587554.htm

    He blusters that “the extreme IR laws” will be replaced by “even more extreme IR laws”. 

    Who writes his stuff?  Whoever it is should be sacked for incompetence, except that’s the whole point of the IR reforms…

    Posted by anthony_r on 2006 03 09 at 07:43 AM • permalink

  59. ALP President Warren Mundine on today’s Australian:

    “Quite frankly, the Australian public couldn’t give a stuff about the internal mechanisms of the Labor Party. They want us to talk about interest rates, they want us to talk about hospitals and they want us to talk about education.”

    INTEREST RATES - almost at an all-time low; one 0.25% increase in the last 27 months

    HOSPITALS - ALP hold power in all state and territory governments, who are responsible for hospitals

    EDUCATION - ALP hold power in all state and territory governments, who are responsible for schools

    Good one Warren.

    Posted by Oafish and Infantile on 2006 03 09 at 08:26 AM • permalink

  60. #12 yes Labor did shut down Glen Eira - but the voters, bless their little cotton socks, voted off the ALP’s running dogs & made the new council even more solidly Liberal

    Posted by KK on 2006 03 09 at 08:40 AM • permalink

  61. #59: What he probably means is, “They want us to talk about incredibly boring stuff such as interest rates, so they’ll be able to ignore us even more easily.”

    Posted by PW on 2006 03 09 at 09:57 AM • permalink

  62. Wow!  Runaway bolds AND a twelve-foot wide link!  This could be one of the GREAT threads!

    Mr. Snuffalupagus — Howard’s got the comfy chair.  At least it would take a roomful of Republican Congressmen to throw it away from under him…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 03 09 at 10:44 AM • permalink

  63. I for one would appreciate seeing more Blackadder references. 

    “I have a cunning plan sir.  Oh good lord Baldrick.  Is it truly a cunning plan? Or is it simply a clever plan dressed up to look like a cunning plan?”

    That’s from memory.  Of an episode of the television series.  Or was that what Karl said to me during the Cheney Ran Amuck Again affair?

    Posted by wronwright on 2006 03 09 at 11:58 AM • permalink

  64. If Gillard unseats Comrade Kim as Leader, the Libs should thank the Labor Senator (Ludwig I think) for giving the perfect tag for the next election when speaking of Gillard the other day he quipped ‘It’s all about the hair!’.

    Posted by AlphaMikeFoxtrot on 2006 03 09 at 03:39 PM • permalink

  65. Howard Dean wouldn’t know a cunning plan if it painted itself purple, got up on a table and sang cunning plans are here again.

    Posted by Taleena on 2006 03 09 at 05:55 PM • permalink

  66. Oh gosh, someone forgot to pay for the </b> tags and they’ve been re-possessed!

    Posted by Zoe Brain on 2006 03 09 at 11:42 PM • permalink

  67. Did that fix it?

    Posted by Zoe Brain on 2006 03 09 at 11:43 PM • permalink

  68. I have a plan so cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel

    Posted by murph on 2006 03 10 at 12:09 AM • permalink

  69. Page 1 of 1 pages

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