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JOY TO THE WORLD
TV gob Joy Behar uncovers a Republican brain conspiracy:
On Thursday’s The View, Joy Behar seriously suggested Senator Tim Johnson was the victim of a deliberate act to cause his brain disorder that led to emergency surgery and has left him in critical condition: “Is there such a thing as a man-made stroke? In other words, did someone do this to him?”
An astounded Elisabeth Hasselbeck wondered: “Why is everything coming from the liberal perspective a conspiracy?” Behar contended, on the ABC daytime show, that the Republican Party is capable of such a nefarious deed: “I know what this, that party is capable of.”
Next on The View: Joy Behar demonstrates her theory of steel structure collapsibility.
These people have no grasp on reality. They need serious serious counseling. Unfortunately, they’re trying to take political control of the US. God help us all if that happens.
Posted by wronwright on 2006 12 17 at 10:40 AM • permalinkThe thing is, if you were going to use your power for evil instead of good, wouldn’t you at least make sure it worked? I mean, if the Russians can do it, why can’t Rove manage a simple assasination to give a meager majority to republicans so that for two more years congress can manage to get no useful legislation passed? As conspiracy theories go this isn’t even a good one. With 50 democrats in congress, they can happily continue to block most things.
Posted by Not My Problem on 2006 12 17 at 11:15 AM • permalinkThe answer is, of course, that Republicans are evil AND incompetent.
Posted by Not My Problem on 2006 12 17 at 11:17 AM • permalinkAs a nurse I’d say Ms Behar is onto something here - why hasn’t research been done into MAN MADE strokes I wonder?
Is it all a big cover up?
Only the Republicans in the US according to Ms Behar have the technology to do this but it’s all so secret
Perhaps because all the big drug companies manufacturing all their expensive cholesterol lowering drugs don’t WANT this Republican technology to surface
See - it’s a conspiracy! So it must be true then
Posted by aussiemagpie on 2006 12 17 at 11:35 AM • permalinkYou’re just being greedy Dr Alice, one ship should be sufficient.
Posted by Daniel San on 2006 12 17 at 12:07 PM • permalinkI think people must watch The View in much the same way they rubberneck at wrecks on the freeway.
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 12 17 at 12:16 PM • permalinkThe answer is, of course, that Republicans are evil AND incompetent.
I know you’re joking, but if liberals truly believe something along those lines, it’s yet another perfect example of their projecting their own shortcomings on the other side. Evil and incompetent, if that doesn’t describe the average Hollywood/academic socialist, I don’t know what does.
Joy Behar is a comic with a gig on a daytime talk show. Unfortunately spouting moonbat conspiracy theories is what passes for humor in certain circles these days. People pay good money to hear what they can read for free on the Democratic Underground.
Posted by Bruce Rheinstein on 2006 12 17 at 01:04 PM • permalink‘Behar contended, on the ABC daytime show, that the Republican Party is capable of such a nefarious deed: “I know what this, that party is capable of.”’
We certainly know what your party is capable of when it comes to dubious medical practices, namely refusing treatment to people who are infected with a horrible disease (with the full knowledge of senior officials in the Roosevelt, Truman and Johnson administrations), and then studying the afflicted while the victims die of said disease, and also spread it to other people…this is at the same time your party is advocating a government controlled medical system, I might add.
While the Dems were conducting their little medical experiment, they were also putting doctors who worked for the Nazis to death for engaging in the same sort of medical experimentation. Typical leftist hypocrisy.
So, I guess if the Republicans are anything like liberal Democrats the charge made by Behar might have some merit.
Socialized medicine, liberal style
Posted by Dave Surls on 2006 12 17 at 01:10 PM • permalinkHey, I’m just glad Michael Ironside‘s on our side.
Warning: Depending how sissified your workplace is, may be NSFW.
I vote we replace the phrase “the patience of Job” with “the patience of Elizabeth Hasselbeck.”
I second the motion.
Also, we need to see how it is that Elizabeth is totally immune to Rosie’s toxic brain leak. Perhaps a vaccine can be developed for the rest of the population.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 12 17 at 02:35 PM • permalinkI’d rather by ass-raped by the entire crew of a Turkish pirate ship than watch fifteen minutes of “The View”.
Quote of the week!!!!!
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 12 17 at 02:36 PM • permalinkEvil and incompetent, if that doesn’t describe the average Hollywood/academic socialist, I don’t know what does.
“Evil” is perhaps too strong, in some cases, PW. Let’s see if some other term might fit…... hmmmmmm, “self-centered”, “lazy”, “nihilistic”, “greedy”, “amoral”, ......
Nah, never mind. “Evil” fits perfectly.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 12 17 at 02:39 PM • permalinkThanks to this forensic idiot, this one is solved.
Now Joy, who really was behind the assassinations of Lincoln, McKinley* and Kennedy?
Which Republican was responsible for infecting FDR with that polio thingy?
*my theory…since it was in Buffalo, Leon Czolgosz was actually hired by Mikey Hudson.
Your answer is eagerly awaited.
#14 - actually, I believe her profession is “comic”. Two little quote marks but what a difference they make.
Turns out Sen. Johnson has a congenital brain condition - apparently the blood vessels in the brain are tangled up - and has had minor problems with this before. So mad props to Karl Rove for figuring out how to give Sen. Johnson this condition when Johnson was a babe in the womb, and Rove (born almost exactly 4 years after Johnson) was not even a glimmer in his daddy’s eye! Boy, did he get started early with teh evil, or what?
#23: So mad props to Karl Rove for figuring out how to give Sen. Johnson this condition when Johnson was a babe in the womb, and Rove (born almost exactly 4 years after Johnson) was not even a glimmer in his daddy’s eye!
Don’t forget the Tardis, Meg. It isn’t just used by Wronwright to go back in time and pick up old military bric-a-brac. Sometimes Karl takes it out himself.
The View is a weekday morning program for women who can’t hold job and can’t be bothered to watch the kids.
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 12 17 at 06:25 PM • permalink#24 Paco
Shhhhhh dammit. That’s classified information, grade “Above and Beyond Tip Top Secret; Codeword Dirigible Access Only”.Jeebus, Rummy leaves and security immediately goes to Hell in a handbasket.
Posted by Michael Lonie on 2006 12 17 at 07:16 PM • permalinkRosie got it wrong, as usual: actually what Chinese people sound like they’re saying (or rather yelling—I’ve never heard a Chinese person simply talking quietly) is “Lie ow lie ow lie ow lie lie!”
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 12 17 at 08:15 PM • permalink“So mad props to Karl Rove for figuring out how to give Sen. Johnson this condition when Johnson was a babe in the womb, and Rove (born almost exactly 4 years after Johnson) was not even a glimmer in his daddy’s eye! Boy, did he get started early with teh evil, or what?”
Do not underestimate the power of the Dark Side.
Wait until they find out that it was a Republican Plot to fiddle with the orbit of that asteroid that hit and killed off the dinosaurs.
Human primacy is the cornerstone of all Republican Conspiracies.
After all, what’s the use of being master manipulators and conspirators if there’s no people around to appreciate it?
#27: Jeebus, Rummy leaves and security immediately goes to Hell in a handbasket.
Did I say Karl? Heh. My mistake. I meant Mike. Mike Johanns, Secretary of Agriculture. And he just goes back in time to pick up parts for his antique Studebaker farm wagon.
Sheesh! These brainy coves always spot the flaw, everytime.
ElCid @20
1. Garfield?
2. The conspiracy is worse than you suggest, as three of the four slain Presidents were Republicans ...Cheers
Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2006 12 17 at 10:23 PM • permalinkLook fellas, it was all a mistake. Senator Johnson left his tinfoil lined hat at home that day and the secret CIA mind control satellite cooked part of his brain like an egg.
After that, the CIA had to drop the signal strength unless any other moonbats left their tinfoil hat at home.
The weaker signal allowed Elisabeth Hasselbeck to momentarily slip out of CIA control and she was suddenly able to say what she actually thought.
CIA have since cranked the signal up again - normal programming (or re-programming) will resume shortly.
Posted by mr creosote on 2006 12 17 at 10:27 PM • permalinkIs there such a thing as a man-made stroke?
no but there are the four unforgiveable curses and rove told ‘m
Posted by eeniemeenie on 2006 12 17 at 11:56 PM • permalinkoh no one bad anagram and ive killed the thread
the shamePosted by eeniemeenie on 2006 12 18 at 05:32 AM • permalink#1 “Silly chips” sounds like a PACO Industries product.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 12 19 at 06:12 AM • permalink
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Well, sure. If Bush can manufacture hurricanes, a stroke must be a snap. And obviously, the Republicans have been wildly successful in planting silly-chips in the brains of people like Al Gore and John Kerry.
What an idiot. Is Joy Behar “anybody”?