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IT IS THE DAY OF EARTH

Happy Earth Day, earthlings! Heed the earthly wisdom of Jimmy Carter:

My boyhood days in Plains in the 1930s and 40s were shared among the family farm, church, schoolhouse, and nearby woods. In each place, I learned crucial lessons that eventually would coalesce into the values that have sustained me throughout my life. My excursions into the woods to observe wildlife, hunt, fish, or just wander the paths gave me a lifelong affinity for the natural world.

The natural world’s response? Killer rabbit attack! Here’s monkey lady Jane Goodall:

We live in dark times: we are destroying Mother Earth and many people have lost hope. So it is important to highlight all that is being done to heal our planet.

Cheer up, Jane; it’s Nostalgia Drag Racing Day tomorrow at Western Sydney International Dragway! Over to you, Annie Leibovitz:

I wish that all of nature’s magnificence, the emotion of the land, the living energy of place could be photographed.

So do I. Especially using the megalitres of chemicals that Leibovitz must have churned through during her photographic career. So natural! What say you, Bank of America CEO Ken Lewis?

Today, I have a home in the mountains where the air and water are clear, and you can still look up into the night sky and see The Milky Way.

And the contrails from your Bank of America corporate jet. How did NASCAR driver Ward Burton get mixed up withe these people?

My rich childhood experiences have made me an advocate for conservation. Now I spend time outdoors with my children to teach them the lessons I learned, and I try to listen to them and understand them.

If you have 30 seconds remaining, Ward, you could tell the children about all the races you won. Driving a Prius.

UPDATE. Robert Mugabe gets into the Earth Day spirit.

Posted by Tim B. on 04/22/2006 at 06:00 AM
  1. Jane Goodall needs to read Lomborg’s book and realise how much has been achieved in recent times. They also need to bone up on free market environmentalism.

    Posted by Rafe on 2006 04 22 at 06:25 AM • permalink

  2. An ineffectual former President, a lady who hung out with gorillas for several years, a celebrity who photographs other celebrities and not much else besides, and some bloke who is presumably famous for driving very fast.
    (Rolls eyes)
    What a circus.

    Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 04 22 at 06:30 AM • permalink

  3. Forget the banker.
    Rhymes with…

    Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 04 22 at 06:31 AM • permalink

  4. I’m dreaming of the natural beauty of hundreds of thousands of oil derricks vigorously pumping billions of gallons of oil from Alaskan soil.  Another nice thought is the natural beauty of a Chernobyl style reactor meltdown in the vicinity of Tehran.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2006 04 22 at 07:03 AM • permalink

  5. I’m all for conservation as well, but that doesn’t extend to failed over the hill Presidents. Jimmy Carter isn’t worthy of being listed as protected, he is one species worthy of the title extinct. Let us also take a moment to remember who the President was when Ayatollah Khomeini came to power in Iran, leading directly to the current problems in the region.

    Posted by cjblair on 2006 04 22 at 07:16 AM • permalink

  6. Swim rabbit-swim rabbit-Swim! Swim! Swim!
    Swim rabbit-swim rabbit-Swim! Swim! Swim!
    Splash! Splash! Splash!
    The President’s done a spin.
    Swim, rabbit, swim, rabbit, swim.
    Swim rabbit-swim rabbit—Swim! Swim! Swim!
    Sure Prezo Jim is dim! Dim! Dim!
    He will survive by selling out the guys
    So swim rabbit-swim rabbit-Swim! Swim! Swim!

    Run Al Quaeda, Run Al Quaeda, Run, Run, Run,
    Now that the fun has begun, gun, gun;
    P’raps you’ll just allow us to explain,
    What we did once,-we can do again.
    We’re making shells by the ton, ton, ton.
    We’ve got the men and the mon, mon, mon.
    Foul and loathsome soul,-you’ll need a rabbit-hole,-
    So, run Zarqawi, run Zarqawi, run, run, run.

    Posted by geoff on 2006 04 22 at 07:24 AM • permalink

  7. Wonder if all of these other orbs celebrate their day?

    Or is it that all the others, piss and moan because we do?

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 04 22 at 08:21 AM • permalink

  8. Ward Burton (born October 25, 1961) is an American NASCAR auto racer. Although he has been unemployed since 2004, he is frequently one of the first names mentioned when a car becomes available.

    Kinda like Joe Lieberman and the Democratic Presidential nomination, I take it.

    Posted by PW on 2006 04 22 at 08:32 AM • permalink

  9. Whilst its nothing more than the filthiest of birds deserves, you have to laugh.(from the Age)

    A Policeman who shot a swooping magpie dead in his suburban backyard will not be able to carry a firearm, and was yesterday convicted and fined $2000.

    One man who was present at the shooting, who cannot be named, told the court earlier this week that the magpie had been flying above children’s heads in the backyard before the shooting.

    He said the off-duty policeman had thrown stones at the bird before ordering the children inside.

    The officer had then used his registered rifle and ammunition from a shed to shoot the bird.

    A veterinarian, Phillipa Mason, of the Healesville Sanctuary, told the court that the bird had died “instantaneously” from the bullet’s impact.

    Posted by Nic on 2006 04 22 at 08:39 AM • permalink

  10. Al Gore says global warming is more dangerous than terrorism. This makes sense: terrorism—thousands of victims. Global warming—average temperature up one degree in the last century. The only reasonable conclusion: Al Gore is more dangerous than terrorism.

    Posted by Latino on 2006 04 22 at 08:42 AM • permalink

  11. #8 PW, Also similar to David Hasslehoff and the music industry.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2006 04 22 at 08:56 AM • permalink

  12. And, to celebrate Earth Day, I will now go out into the sun dappled, pristene beauty of this great midwestern day….and mow my yard with my brand new fossil fuel burning, CO² spewing, hydrocarbon emitting, gas guzzling zero-turn mower!

    I love Gaia.

    Posted by rinardman on 2006 04 22 at 09:02 AM • permalink

  13. a lady who hung out with gorillas for several years,

    #2, you’re thinking of Dian Fossey.  Jane Goodall is a chimpanzee person. 

    Which is merely a quibble, the real point being that all these people are wealthy enough to buy themselves a goodly-sized swatch of “clean” environment so they can rhapsodize about it and moan over how the rabble are dirtying it up.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 04 22 at 09:05 AM • permalink

  14. #12 Love that “2” superscript. How did you do it? (shouldn’t it be a subscript though?)

    Posted by Whale Spinor on 2006 04 22 at 09:07 AM • permalink

  15. a)  Beats me how our host Tim overlooks Senator Bob Brown in any list of gaia-worshipping hypocrites.

    b)  Yes, rinardman, how DO you do those super & sub scripts?

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 04 22 at 09:26 AM • permalink

  16. Yeah, Whale, it should be a subscript. But I don’t know how to do subscripting.

    Check out this link Andrea provided some time ago.

    Posted by rinardman on 2006 04 22 at 09:31 AM • permalink

  17. Carter’s rabbit reminds me of the time a rabbit was being chased hither and yon by the neighbor’s beagle, a fact known to everybody because beagles shout it out; and the exhausted rabbit sought shelter finally under my Doberman Susie, who, the rabbit decided, was at least more non-threatening than the beagle.

    I told Susie to ``stay,’’ and the rabbit himself stayed there for about five minutes, recovering.

    Jimmy Carter probably would have had a similar experience if he hadn’t killed the rabbit.

    And what about pregnancy tests, speaking of that

    Posted by rhhardin on 2006 04 22 at 09:37 AM • permalink

  18. Testing .. cow fart ..CH<sub>4</sub>

    Posted by Whale Spinor on 2006 04 22 at 09:44 AM • permalink

  19. Nope..

    Posted by Whale Spinor on 2006 04 22 at 09:45 AM • permalink

  20. Celebrities being seduced by the chicken little crowd.

    Ho hum.

    If they aren’t careful they will give celebrity a bad name.

    Posted by gubbaboy on 2006 04 22 at 09:47 AM • permalink

  21. Corporate jet aside, I wonder much gas/petrol Ken Lewis burns and exhausts into the atmosphere every day?  You have to be quite a ways from city night lights in order to see the Milky Way (except in the candy/sweets section, I guess).

    Posted by Winger on 2006 04 22 at 09:49 AM • permalink

  22. CELEBRATION WARNING

    May the 1st is “Triumph of Capitalism” day.

    Posted by Rob Read on 2006 04 22 at 09:55 AM • permalink

  23. Tim - my to-do list for Earth Day:

    1. Get my Lowrider 425 Riviera (the one you rode in) out of storage.

    2. Help my pal fire up his vintage drag motor, an 8-carbed 460 cubic inch Lincoln MEL.

    3. Seal a Model A inner body with P-O-R, then HVLP the outside with some spray lacquer primer.

    4. After cocktails, a little light clearcutting.

    Posted by iowahawk on 2006 04 22 at 10:06 AM • permalink

  24. Checked up on Ward Burton. His site confirms that he is currently unemployed as a NASCAR driver, but news of any change in his status will be “posted immediately”. We are anxiously standing by, Ward! Interestingly, he was named as a judge in the “Federal Duck Stamp Contest” last year (forgive me, but this conjures up a vision of Riverdancers advancing along the banks of the Potomac, stomping on waterfowl in a kind of synchronized stampede). I think, though, as environmental groups go, the Nature Conservancy isn’t so bad (in spite of some of the company it keeps): isn’t that the group that actually raises private funds to purchase and retire land from commercial development, as opposed to trying to coerce the government into confiscate it? May be wrong about that. I do know that whenever you see a banker endorsing a cause, he’s got at least one eye on the marketing angle: can I get this outfit’s deposits? Sell them payroll management services? Nothing wrong with that, but it tends to take the gloss off of all the “clear air and Milky Way” blather.

    And the Grandee of Georgia Goobery? I frankly don’t want to know what Carter was doing out there in the woods.

    Posted by paco on 2006 04 22 at 10:07 AM • permalink

  25. #13 - Points taken, RebH. Both of them.

    Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 04 22 at 10:26 AM • permalink

  26. Hey, iowahawk, did you ever find fuel for that Turbonique rocket powered supercharger?  That would make one hell of an Earth Day celebration!

    Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2006 04 22 at 10:27 AM • permalink

  27. Mr Blair, your sarcasm sets my heart free.

    Posted by cridland on 2006 04 22 at 10:31 AM • permalink

  28. I didn’t even know it was Earth Day yesterday until driving home in my Beemer, listening to the energy-free radio show telling me about it.  I rabbit-started at each stop in tribute to Jimmah Cahtah.

    Today I see this thing:  “How much damage are you doing to the earth?  Take the test!”
    Possibly not as much damage as some banker jetting to his mountain hideaway where he can gaze, smugly-smugly, at the stars.

    Posted by ushie on 2006 04 22 at 10:39 AM • permalink

  29. Prius hell.  He so bad, he can win in an EV1…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 04 22 at 10:43 AM • permalink

  30. “Mugabe’s car’s floor, roof, windows and petrol tank have been specially reinforced, as the most vulnerable parts of the vehicle.”

    Heh. Looks like he forgot to get his shorts reinforced to protect those other vulnerable parts. When afoot, he’s still fair game for insurgent goats, looks like.

    Posted by paco on 2006 04 22 at 10:48 AM • permalink

  31. From the smell of it around here, I believe the Iraqis are celebrating Earth Day by ceremoniously burning truck loads of dirty diapers. [s]YIKES![/s]

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2006 04 22 at 10:50 AM • permalink

  32. Mugabe’s car’s floor, roof, windows and petrol tank have been specially reinforced, as the most vulnerable parts of the vehicle.

    Note to self: must requisition more steroids for the goat ranch.  Also step up the goat-jitsu training.

    Posted by Stoop Davy Dave on 2006 04 22 at 11:02 AM • permalink

  33. Altered and gassers and fuelies, oh my!

    Posted by Pat Patterson on 2006 04 22 at 11:08 AM • permalink

  34. The only people who have lost hope are the environmental nutters who despair of ever forcing the rest of us to march to their loony tune of doom and gloom.

    Now that I know it’s Earth Day, I’ll take the V-8 on my errand run and maybe even fill up the 20 gallon tank. Then, to show that I care (because I do), I’ll start my spring planting. Praise Gaia.

    BTW, whatever else aside, Annie Leibovitz is a great photographer.

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 04 22 at 11:10 AM • permalink

  35. #18 - That’s the way (at least, one way) subscript is supposed to be done.

    Maybe this site doesn’t support it?

    Posted by Barbara Skolaut on 2006 04 22 at 11:43 AM • permalink

  36. And meanwhile pathetic boomer and revolutionary has been Tom Hayden is leading a “Social Justice” Summit today at a local school, an event he ties in most tangentially with Earth Day.  Cost?  Free.  Only way they could get anyone to show up.  We’ll see how many actually do!

    Posted by Patricia on 2006 04 22 at 11:49 AM • permalink

  37. OK - #18 - here’s one way:  CO₂

    That’s “CO & #8322;” - BUT eliminate the quotation marks and the spaces between “CO” and “&” AND between “&” and “#”

    What a pain in the ass.

    Posted by Barbara Skolaut on 2006 04 22 at 11:52 AM • permalink

  38. Oh, yeah - and “8322” only gives you a subscript 2.

    For subscript 3 it would be 8323, for 4 8324, etc.

    As I said, pain….

    Posted by Barbara Skolaut on 2006 04 22 at 11:54 AM • permalink

  39. My boyhood days in Plains in the 1930s and 40s were shared among the family farm, church, schoolhouse, and nearby woods. In each place, I learned crucial lessons that eventually would coalesce into the values that have sustained me throughout my life.

    For example, on the farm, Carter was able to learn the demeanor and habits of the chicken.

    Posted by Jim Treacher on 2006 04 22 at 11:56 AM • permalink

  40. Treacher!

    I had a mouthful of bacon when I read that!

    Now I have a keyboardful of bacon…

    Posted by ushie on 2006 04 22 at 12:29 PM • permalink

  41. My rich childhood experiences have made me an advocate for conservation. Now I spend time outdoors with my children to teach them the lessons I learned, and I try to listen to them and understand them.

    I read Ward’s full message, and it’s not inconsistent with the American sportsman’s style of conservation - i.e., game management and the support of logical nature conservation measures through the sales of hunting and fishing licences.

    American hunters and fishermen have done more for the environment here than all of the ecoweenie organizations combined.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2006 04 22 at 01:33 PM • permalink

  42. Has anyone seen the Google banner?

    Jump on that bandwagon, you billionaire hippy poseurs.

    Posted by James Waterton on 2006 04 22 at 01:57 PM • permalink

  43. I’m all for clean water, clear skies, rainforests, preserving endangered species and all that.  Makes it that much nicer when I go sailing or flying, or want a nice leopard-skin rug to go on my new teak floor…

    But these idiot greenies are so annoying that I’d be tempted to woodchip the whole of Africa and dump it in the ocean just to hear them squeal.  Only I haven’t worked out how to make a profit from it yet.

    Posted by Pixy Misa on 2006 04 22 at 02:09 PM • permalink

  44. EV1?  Just wait till you see what this bad boy can do on a Segway!

    Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2006 04 22 at 02:17 PM • permalink

  45. Pixy Misa — You can get a fat gummint if you claim you’re doing it to fight global warming.  See, the woodchips soak up the rising seawaters caused by the melting glaciers…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 04 22 at 03:17 PM • permalink

  46. It’s easy.
    Use &#185; to get ¹
    Use &#178; to get ²
    Use &#179; to get ³
    Use &#8734; to get ∞

    Posted by ForNow on 2006 04 22 at 03:52 PM • permalink

  47. Also,

    Use &#185; to get ¹
    Use &amp;#185; to get &#185;
    Use &amp;amp;#185; to get &amp;#185;
    Use &amp;amp;#185; to get &amp;#185;

    Posted by ForNow on 2006 04 22 at 04:03 PM • permalink

  48. I completely blew Earth Day. I took a walk. The shame is overwhelming. Even admitting to having taken a walk is devastating my sense of self. Who the hell am I?

    I am feeling really crappy about that as you can see and can only promise to do better next Earth Day. While I could never match the gargantuan ozone-destroying output of iowahawk, we do what we can with what we have.

    Posted by ekw on 2006 04 22 at 05:34 PM • permalink

  49. My rusted-out-at-the-base clothesline keeled over yesterday as I was taking down the washing. I’ll be doing some Gaia-worship with the electric tumble dryer for a while.

    Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 04 22 at 06:05 PM • permalink

  50. My boyhood days in Plains in the 1930s and 40s were shared among the family farm, church, schoolhouse, and nearby woods. In each place, I learned crucial lessons that eventually would coalesce into the values that have sustained me throughout my life

    This sanctimonious tripe sounds great but is strictly for public consumption. Fact is, you don’t get to be President of the United States, Prime Minister, CEO of a multi-national corporation, &c, unless you are extraordinarily ambitious, ruthless, and prepared to abandon friends and colleagues at the drop of a hat. I think I read recently that John Howard, for all his carefully presented public appearance as an awkard suburban solicitor, can be vicious in private when needs be.

    Posted by walterplinge on 2006 04 22 at 08:03 PM • permalink

  51. The problem with something like Earth Day is that the very premise of it assumes some people are actively seeking to destroy the Earth. Not true.

    Obviously some people are not eco wackjobs telling people how they should and shouldn’t live, teh yjust go about there day - taking the kids to school, going to work and making ends meet. No vile plots to destroy the planet.

    Reminds me of the idiot emails I get about Parliamentarians for Mental Health. I mean how many parliamentarians are there that are against mental health sufferers?

    Posted by The (WHMECDM) President on 2006 04 22 at 08:07 PM • permalink

  52. Sorry folks, that was some awful spelling.

    Anyway - I am filing a class action suit on behalf of all the other planets who are discriminated against because of Earth Day.

    I hear Jupiter is especially pissed off.

    Posted by The (WHMECDM) President on 2006 04 22 at 08:09 PM • permalink

  53. You think Jupiter’s upset, wait until you hear from Uranus.

    Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 04 22 at 09:03 PM • permalink

  54. #50, walterplinge, you’re exactly right.  No matter how sweet they appear to us, professional politicians are really backstabbing bastards or they don’t get anywhere.  But considering the other bastards in the world that they have to deal with, I’d rather we have the meanest SOB in office that we can get.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 04 22 at 10:37 PM • permalink

  55. #50 Hey Walt you can be so vicious yourself.

    Posted by crash on 2006 04 23 at 10:19 AM • permalink

  56. Salaries for environmental CEOs have never been higher—a median of $225,994 in 1999 among organizations studied.

    While income has increased 94% between 1992 and 1999 to $3.5 billion, much “is siphoned off to pay for bureaucratic overhead and fund raising, including expensive direct mail and telemarketing consultants.” During the 1990s, the US Treasury paid $31.6 million in legal fees for environmental cases filed against the government.

    Enviro wackies are not so wacky after all, merely greedy.  The left refuses to admit that the problems of environmenal abuse, or institutional racism or homophobia, are largely solved, because then they would have to give up their cushy jobs.
    The Rise of the NGO

    Posted by Patricia on 2006 04 23 at 12:07 PM • permalink

  57. “....Today, I have a home in the mountains where the air and water are clear, and you can still look up into the night sky and see The Milky Way. “
    Yeah, I’ve lived in those type of places. Sounds like the Philippines 20 years ago…But then the locals got electricity, radios, tv, insecticides and motorcycles. Bummer. Back to the good old days when peasants stayed poor so we rich folks could see the stars without smog.

    Posted by tioedong on 2006 04 23 at 05:01 PM • permalink

  58. test³ - yep, it showed up in preview. I cubed the word test by copying and pasting from the Windows character map. No subscripts available, but why not use a modern efficient tool instead of brute force when you can.

    Posted by triticale on 2006 04 23 at 07:00 PM • permalink

  59. “Mr Blair, your sarcasm sets my heart free.”

    Er, cridland, wouldn’t that be fatal?

    Posted by sundog on 2006 04 23 at 11:18 PM • permalink

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