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IT CAUSES DROUGHT! IT CAUSES RAIN!
Global warming frightwad Tim Flannery:
Some models show that global warming would cause northern Australia to become even drier and sunnier than it was in 1950 ... northern Australia’s rainfall may decline precipitously.
But up north, Peter Beattie has a different view:
Queensland Premier Peter Beattie has said today that flooding in North Queensland was another sign of global warming.
Meanwhile, the British Greens blame Microsoft’s Windows Vista:
The organisation has issued a statement claiming that the new operating system is forcing people to undertake expensive and environmentally harmful upgrades ...
(Via Raffi and Jack L.)
The sky is falling, the sky is falling, save yourselves.
Posted by surfmaster on 2007 02 04 at 09:09 AM • permalinkSo from now on every single flood, drought, bushfire etc will be blamed on GW/climate change
Every time the temp drops and then rises (like every day) - oh my goodness the end is near!
Posted by aussiemagpie on 2007 02 04 at 10:34 AM • permalink“Future archaeologists will be able to identify a ‘Vista Upgrade Layer’ when they go through our landfill sites,” said Siân Berry, female principal speaker for the Green Party.
I picture Ms. Berry tearfully fanning her hands in front of her face as she says this, so breathless and flushed with panic is she. “Vista Upgrade Layer”? Honestly, do these people ever hear themselves?
“
Vista requires more expensive and energy-hungry hardware, passing the cost on to consumers and the environment,” said Derek Wall, male principal speaker for the Green Party.
Good to point this out for us silly readers - that Derek Wall is a male
Posted by aussiemagpie on 2007 02 04 at 11:01 AM • permalinkYet again they reveal what they truly think. Technology = bad, technological progress = worse. Was there a Windows 95 layer, by the way? An XP layer?
Posted by MikeTheLibrarian on 2007 02 04 at 11:22 AM • permalinknorthern Australia’s rainfall may decline precipitously.
A Tom Swifty. Inadvertency is most prized.
(Previous Tom Swifty in the news http://www.volokh.com/posts/1161195901.shtml , in fact an Uncle Tom Swifty )
You’ll never hear these people talk about an iMac layer or an iPod layer.
PW, haven’t you heard? You can recyle iPods.
/leftie and-or envirotard obtuseness
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 02 04 at 02:26 PM • permalinkBTW, if the greenies are concerned about a “Vista Layer”, does that mean we are living in the Gates Stage?
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 02 04 at 02:31 PM • permalinkQueensland Premier Peter Beattie has said today that flooding in North Queensland was another sign of global warming.
What utter bullshit! Rain in northern Queensland is nothing new. About 30 years ago at the beginning of February, with a girlfriend, I decided to visit my brother who was living in Townsville at the time. Over a few days, we drove north through Brisbane and got about 100 miles past Rockhampton where we reached one flooded river where the swirling water was way over the bridge. The river was in massive flood from monsoon like rains that can deluge Queensland at this time of the year.
And that was the story all the way from that point to Townsville and beyond. The rivers were flooded, the Bruce highway was broken into islands with people and vehicles stranded for days waiting for the flood waters to subside.
And oh yes, that was in the era of imminent global cooling.
God help us when politicians promise to save us from the weather!
Actually, it IS getting wetter in northern Australia, just as it was drier fifty years ago, when it was wetter than normal in southern Australia (it is, of course, now drier than normal in the south). This is further proof than Flannery speaks out of his arse.
As for vista - just say no, and upgrade to macintosh goodness!/machead.Peter Beattie on television this morning,
“Queensland is at the forefront of conservation in Australia. From the beginning of this year we have stopped broadacre clearing and felling.”
Wow!!! Five weeks of “conservation”, really makes up for almost sixty years of the worst kind of wholesale land destruction this country has ever seen.
Rain in Northern Queensland.
Hmmm. Doesn’t the Wet start in October and finish in March???
Hmm.. I must have Vista. Must upgrade computer. Let’s see, 10Ghz HardCore XXX Paco Industries processor with 1Gbyte cache, 1000 Gbit ultra fast 10Ghz Flashing Paco Industries memory, 1000 Terabyte optically censored Paco Industries hard disk, Paco Industries GetForced 8800 SEX 1024MB PCI Express Graphics Card, Paco Industries 2000 Watt CarbonSpew power supply, Paco Industries 65” Flat Panel PoWerHunGry monitor, ... Let’s see what else do I need…, Ah! Yes! Paco Industries Ultimate Vista Upgrade Layer[TM] Protective Cocoon. This last item will ensure that those future
peeping tomsmale and female archaeologists will be able to identify the “Vista Upgrade Layer” when they go through our landfill sites.How’s that for a Gaia-raping Certified Vista-Ready Extra Size SuperCarbon Elephantiasic-footprint Desktop computer? I bet Bill Gates will be the first to order one. Al Gore will order the second one ... for his private GlobAl Goreming jet.
Posted by ElectronPower on 2007 02 04 at 06:23 PM • permalinkOn the cover of “an incontinent truth” at our video library is a little sticker. It says something like “A tree has been planted to make up for the manufacture of this CD and case”.
Does anybody have a cure for whole body lip curling? I cant help but sneer when I run accross it on the shelves and fear people may think Im odd (er).Im bemused weve had many, many scares before but only the one that allows pollies to jack up taxes on everything is so universally accepted? A few foxes like Howard use it to push uranium and Nuke power, Europe sees it as a way to enforce a new form of protectionism and regulation.
Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 02 04 at 06:52 PM • permalinkAnd before I forget about it (again), what about Linux? Not to mention Unix? Don’t they deserve a layer?
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 02 04 at 07:25 PM • permalinkDoes anybody have a cure for whole body lip curling? I cant help but sneer when I run accross it on the shelves and fear people may think Im odd (er).
A sticker that says “in twenty years, the lumber company that planted that tree will harvest it”?
Posted by Rob Crawford on 2007 02 04 at 07:25 PM • permalinkRob Crawford
Ahhha much better.
Pine And Coal Organisation shares looking good then?
Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 02 04 at 08:00 PM • permalinkSome models show that global warming would cause northern Australia to become even drier and sunnier than it was in 1950 ... northern Australia’s rainfall may decline precipitously.
Northern Australia annual rainfall from 1900 to 2006. (Might have to select from the Region list)
Nope. Wasn’t particularly dry in the 50s. And rainfall averages over the last 40 years look like they’re trending more up than down.
Penguin—The El Nino appears to have disappeared. Gee, how could a mass of hot water vanish with all this global warmenising going on?
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 02 04 at 09:31 PM • permalinkI think that moonfaced git is all over the global warming/climate change scam because it gives him an excuse for the complete failure of his idiot regime to build a single new power station, upgrade the grid or even replace the shitty 30 amp line fuse outside my house which blows whenever we put on a toaster when the a/c’s all running- can’t do any of that because the extra CO2 will make Gaiea sneeze, causing a deluge in the wet tropics.
I hate that smiling turd more than any other politician in this country, and that’s saying something as I’d like to apply the bastinado any of the bastards who even thinks they have an idea on how to improve society; he grew up in Atherton for fucks sake, and would have seen rain so heavy you wouldn’t be able to see more than twenty feet out your back door- rainfall in that area is measured in feet, and Tully is one of the wettest places in the world.
What a lying fuckwad.
#20 I think that you’ll find, ElectronPower, that future archaeologists won’t have any problems in this regard, at least not those using the Patented Archaeological Computer Obsequies to discover all the layers of ancient Operating System—even those in soil layers under up to 2 feet of glacial melt-water covering sites in ancient New York and London. PACO even sifts out all the detritus like “Join AOL Now!!!!” software compact discs to leave just the interesting items such as ancient porn site caches. At PACO, the future is today and tomorrow is yesterday.
Posted by andycanuck on 2007 02 04 at 11:05 PM • permalink#29. RM
Yeah, you’re right…El Nino has disappeared. If I wasn’t so paranoid that I can’t trust my own thoughts, right about now I would easily be convinced that the Gorebot has sent round his hired goons to El Nino’s house in the middle of the night.
El Nino and his cousin La Nina are laying dead in some shallow bush grave.
Ah, but my dear andycanuck, I do think that the art of ancient Naughty Modus Operandi has been discovered left and right (up and down and in an out, too,) even with the primitive archaeological tools of today. With all due respect to PACO Industries, where “the future is today and tomorrow is yesterday,” I must clarify that yesterday is also today and the past, though long past, is here and now, ancient porn caches and all.
Posted by ElectronPower on 2007 02 05 at 01:27 AM • permalinkHmm… it seems that the ancient tools are a little rusty, but a dab of Paco Industries Lube All [tm] and everything works as it should, ancient porn caches and all.
Posted by ElectronPower on 2007 02 05 at 01:38 AM • permalinkI just gotta get me that Paco Industries 2000 Watt CarbonSpew power supply. But can I upgrade to the 10000 watt version? (It generates a lot more heat.)
#38 Underscore, don’t worry about the excess heat of upgrading to the 10,000 watt version. You just have to get a Prodigious A/C Optimiser to attach to your air conditioner unit to enable you to crank it up to 11 to maintain standard “room temperature” while using your Paco Industries 2000 Watt CarbonSpew power supply. PACO, it’s so hot—it’s cool.
#35/36 We at PACO are pleased that the PACO Lube All™ is working so well, ElectronPower, but the Patented Archaeological Computer Obsequies (planned release date 2975 A.V.) is meant to aid the future archaeologists of all of our tomorrows in their research during the After Vista timeline and not contemporary ones. And anyway, the Temporal Police won’t let us sell before our official release date giving the usual crap about “we don’t want to screw up the timeline” and “profits aren’t everything.” Pussies.
Posted by andycanuck on 2007 02 05 at 09:44 AM • permalink#41 andycanuck, the temporal police is the least of your worries. They are doomed, but so are all those who use Eternity for time-travel. As you can read here,
“Eternity was suppressing the creative individuals in humanity in order to protect the rest. In the end this has the effect of denying humanity’s access to the stars, as alien species advance technologically and confine humanity to Earth. Eventually humanity will die out, millions of years in the future, leaving an empty Earth. However, if Eternity could be prevented from being created, humans would leave Earth and colonize the stars.”
That is, of course, only true if GlobAl Gorearming can be stopped. Otherwise the greenies will not allow space travel.
“Who do you think you are, wanting to go to the stars? Go to your cave, you dirty carbon shitting dreamer! screamed the Gorealista sturmtrupper.”
I think I’ll order the Paco Industries 2 mega Watt CarbonSpew™ power supply…
Posted by ElectronPower on 2007 02 05 at 01:43 PM • permalink
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As another poster might say, Siân Berry, female principal speaker for the Green Party can suck my nuts.