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INVASION OF THE DEADLY JEW MELONS

First it was poison bananas. And now:

“Beware of Israeli melons infected with AIDS arriving in Saudi Arabia!” is the latest rumor being spread throughout Saudi Arabia like a wildfire.

An SMS message being sent around the country this week said, “The Saudi Interior Ministry warns its citizens of a truck loaded with AIDS infected melons that Israel brought into the country via a ‘ground corridor.’”

Previous Saudi rumours - hit that link - involved carcinogenic flour. The head of the center for chemicals and toxins in Mecca (now there’s a job) Dr Ahmad Elias dismisses the melon stories as untrue.

Posted by Tim B. on 04/16/2007 at 08:57 AM
  1. Someone needs to leak a report that Jews smuggled AIDS filled madrasas and mosques into Saudi Arabia, and to stay away from them if you want to stay alive.

    Posted by blogagog on 2007 04 16 at 11:04 AM • permalink

  2. What is it with these people and rumors? Before the poison bananas and poison melons, there this:

    “During September 2003,” the Middle East Media Research Institute reports, “mass hysteria spread through Khartoum, the capital of Sudan, which was ultimately quelled by police intervention and statements made by the health minister. The panic was caused by rumors of foreigners roaming the city and shaking men’s hands, making their penises disappear.”

    The cause was eventually identified:

    “...an imperialist Zionist agent that was sent to prevent our people from procreating and multiplying.

    That agent must get around a lot.

    Posted by ErnieG on 2007 04 16 at 11:22 AM • permalink

  3. “...there was this:”

    PIMF!

    Posted by ErnieG on 2007 04 16 at 11:24 AM • permalink

  4. AIDS infected melons

    Welcome to the Middle East. Remember, don’t boink the melons. You don’t know where they’ve been.

    Posted by Bruce Rheinstein on 2007 04 16 at 11:24 AM • permalink

  5. So some guy can shake your hand and say, “Now I’ve got your penis.”
    Apparently their whole country is like a bus station lavatory.

    Posted by Merlin on 2007 04 16 at 11:28 AM • permalink

  6. Says a lot for the education and scholarship in the Middle East, doesn’t it?

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 04 16 at 11:30 AM • permalink

  7. Psssst latest rumor is that the Jews have poisoned all food.  Do not eat any food at all for at least a month, maybe two.  We’re working on getting some food that isn’t poisoned, but it’ll be a while.  Remember: all the food is poisoned, do not eat.

    Posted by rbj1 on 2007 04 16 at 11:40 AM • permalink

  8. Maybe there is an AIDS epidemic that they need to be explain away.  What else could it be but the Jew melons.

    Posted by Melanie on 2007 04 16 at 11:43 AM • permalink

  9. #8 Melanie

    Maybe there is an AIDS epidemic that they need to be explain away.

    Isn’t that usually the real source of these ridiculous rumors?

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 04 16 at 11:50 AM • permalink

  10. Bruce and Ernie G, you had me weeping with laughter.  Thanks :-) 

    But oh, Lord, these rumors…maybe we could refine rbj1’s suggestion, and tell Saudis to eat only those foods which are actually grown in Saudi Arabia and therefore free of Jewish and infidel contamination.  That ought to keep them happy.

    Posted by Sonetka's Mom on 2007 04 16 at 12:05 PM • permalink

  11. Those crafty Jooos.  Is there anything they won’t stoop to?  Secret disappearing ice-rockets, poisoned bananas, AIDS melons.  What next?  Itching powder in the keffiyahs and burqas?  Oh, hey…

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 04 16 at 12:07 PM • permalink

  12. Oh my Cantorlopes.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 04 16 at 12:10 PM • permalink

  13. Oh my! honeyjews!

    Posted by kiwinews on 2007 04 16 at 01:31 PM • permalink

  14. Tell them that the Jews invented semtex. That should solve the suicide-bomber problem.

    And maybe, to save themselves from infidel contamination, they should stick with wahhabimelons . . .

    Posted by Tungsten Monk on 2007 04 16 at 02:14 PM • permalink

  15. #2 Oh, ErnieG, I thought that it was cell phones doing it. My mistake. But at least it didn’t involve melon-ballers.

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 04 16 at 02:41 PM • permalink

  16. Havathemellon
    Havathemellon
    Havathemellon Hey!

    What happens if a foreigner shakes your hand while you are on a cell phone after having just eaten at a fruit bar?  Perilous times.  Perilous times.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 04 16 at 03:47 PM • permalink

  17. kiwinews

    LOL…Hey ummm, haven’t asked but, maybe we could hit the road with a retro two person comedy act, ala Laurel and Hardy, Abbott and Costello or depending on gender, Burns and Allen, Desi and Lucy.

    Retro is in.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 04 16 at 04:19 PM • permalink

  18. It wasn’t the Jews. They discovered the Propagate AIDS Cantalope Operation.

    Posted by triticale on 2007 04 16 at 05:39 PM • permalink

  19. Wonder what the goobal warmeners think of this story. They probably believe it. After all, they think changing their light bulbs will make the climate do the same thing, year after year, forever.

    Posted by dean martin on 2007 04 16 at 06:19 PM • permalink

  20. The shareef don’t like it
    Rockin’ the casaba
    Rock the casaba
    The shareef don’t like it
    Rockin’ the casaba
    Rock the casaba

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 04 16 at 07:29 PM • permalink

  21. Well, the Palestinian Asshole Casaba Op against Arafat worked, triticale, so why not have the PACO™ Black Ops Dvision move on to a new target?

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 04 16 at 07:31 PM • permalink

  22. El Cid, sounds like the seed of a good idea!

    Posted by kiwinews on 2007 04 16 at 09:42 PM • permalink

  23. Aids is spread by fruits? What a terrible thing to say.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 04 16 at 09:53 PM • permalink

  24. Do the clowns in the Wahhabist Entity have any idea what AIDS actually is or how it is actually transmitted?  Nah, it wasn’t written in the Quran so they don’t need to know it. 

    Given the reported proclivities of Arab men they would do better to watch out for AIDS-infected sheep.

    Posted by Michael Lonie on 2007 04 16 at 11:29 PM • permalink

  25. #23 LOL, Infidel Tiger. Good one.

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 04 16 at 11:31 PM • permalink

  26. And in Pakistan, rampant fears abound over the threat of a cell phone virus. Millions of these folks believe you can catch a deadly virus by simply answering an infected call.
    I’m 100% with TRJS in #6 on this one.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 04 17 at 04:06 AM • permalink

  27. they need the Powerpacked AIDS Contamination Obliterator, effective against any type of evil joooooo melon

    Posted by KK on 2007 04 17 at 11:02 AM • permalink

  28. ps - can someone please assemble the complete PACO Enterprises catalogue?  i am tired of searching through back posts to find the products i need

    Posted by KK on 2007 04 17 at 11:04 AM • permalink

  29. #15. Hmm, much of cell phone technology comes from Israeli brains.

    Wonder - can we start a rumour that Saudi cellphones have AIDS ridden bananas in them and your penis will shrivel into the shape of a Magen David (Star of David)?

    The possibilities are endless!

    Posted by carpefraise on 2007 04 17 at 10:07 PM • permalink

  30. #12, 13 A glass of melonaids for you?

    Posted by dean martin on 2007 04 20 at 03:41 AM • permalink

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