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INSTRUCTIONS FOLLOWED

On a break from abusing children, Marieke Hardy discusses journalistic practices:

Some weeks ago I wrote a piece about attending a literary speed-dating event at the State Library …

On the night I was instructed by my editor not to tell anyone I was there to write a piece for the Age lest they clam up and somehow be less ‘real’, which had the odd effect of making me feel like an undercover spy as well as a bald-faced liar …

Hardy and her Age editor appear to have violated the media union’s code of ethics:

Use fair, responsible and honest means to obtain material. Identify yourself and your employer before obtaining any interview for publication or broadcast. Never exploit a person’s vulnerability or ignorance of media practice.

Over to you, Age. Meanwhile, Instapundit has more on journalists who reveal more than they perhaps intend when writing online …

Posted by Tim B. on 01/31/2007 at 11:39 PM
  1. Well done, Tim!
    This might get interesting…

    Posted by Honkie Hammer on 2007 01 31 at 11:50 PM • permalink

  2. Obviously into literary speed writing as well.

    Did anyone notice her most recent “scribbings”?

    Can this scrag get any more boring?

    Does she actually read what she writes?

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 01 31 at 11:50 PM • permalink

  3. Journalists have ethics? Who knew!

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 01 31 at 11:56 PM • permalink

  4. Wasn’t there some american reporterette who went “undercover” to a dating service, went on dates, then came home and flayed in print the poor bastards who’d gone out with her?  Or am I thinking of a movie?  In any case I’ve heard this garbage before. So sure, go ahead and embarrass harmless private citizens for profit!  It’s no longer enough to exploit those who come of their own free will to writhe in masochistic ecstasy under the harsh glare of publicity before a goggling public; you have to go stalk & ambush plain people looking for a small crumb of caring in a big city! Enquiring minds want to know!

    Posted by kiwinews on 2007 02 01 at 12:02 AM • permalink

  5. Most appalling syntax I’ve ever read.

    Plus, Raymond Chandler wrote Cathedral?

    I suppose Raymond Carver wrote Farewell, My Lovely.

    Can I have a date now?

    Posted by ilibcc on 2007 02 01 at 12:09 AM • permalink

  6. If she identified herself, it would greatly increase her risk of being told to “Go and die.”

    Posted by Jim Treacher on 2007 02 01 at 12:15 AM • permalink

  7. At the bottom of that post she writes

    I’m giving up this journalism malarkey. It’s only going to get me in trouble.

    Happy Days!

    Posted by bondo on 2007 02 01 at 12:16 AM • permalink

  8. Nice tape recorder, fuckhead…

    Posted by anthony_r on 2007 02 01 at 12:17 AM • permalink

  9. #4 kiwinews,
    in one short post you have outshone not only everything written on her crappy blog, but most of what appears in The Age. Well done.

    Posted by Rachel Corrie's Flatmate on 2007 02 01 at 12:24 AM • permalink

  10. She’s a leftie who isn’t actually up herself. With the greatest of respect to everyone here,
    I think you’re missing the point. Read the rest of her blog. Here’s someone that isn’t full of their own self-importance, who doesn’t take themselves overly seriously.
    Yes I know, that’s something that’s uncommon on the Right, but absolutely unknown on the Left. Yet there she is.
    I went to her blog to pour scorn on her, but having read what she’s written, I think we’re being a teeny bit too precious and serious ourselves on this one.

    Posted by Zoe Brain on 2007 02 01 at 12:26 AM • permalink

  11. A former colleague got the sack over going ‘undercover’ for a story.

    She pretended to be a patient at a medical centre. She made an appointment, asked questions during the consultation and wrote her story on the unguarded comments of the doctor she saw.

    A lawsuit arrived swifter than the ebola virus.

    This particular journalist (I’m not sure if she’s still working in private enterprise, I suspect not) is a completely irredemable leftie.

    She railed against a former boyfriend in the UK who had the temerity to buy and drive a 15-y-old BMW and called anyone with the wherewithal to have a bank account and a mortgage a member of the ‘landlord class’.

    Is it a concidence this person shares many of the same qualities as Hardy? What is it about the idiot leftie journalists?

    —Nora

    Posted by The Thin Man Returns on 2007 02 01 at 12:26 AM • permalink

  12. literary speed-dating at the State library??????

    man, these people know how to have fun.

    BTW no wonder she is ‘betrothed, for now, to the men between my pages’ (or something like that). Only a tortured artist would want to spend more than five minutes with the silly twat.

    Posted by JonathanH on 2007 02 01 at 12:28 AM • permalink

  13. it’s standard confessional self-deprecation, entirely narcissistic, a la Bridget Jones’ Diary and a whole bunch of other vomitous chic lit.

    She takes herself so unseriously she feels compelled to abuse a kid wearing a flag.

    Zoe, you are way off the mark on this one!

    Posted by JonathanH on 2007 02 01 at 12:36 AM • permalink

  14. I agree with Zoe Brain. I like you Tim, but your occasional divergence into puritanicalism - Shock! She didn’t tell people she was a journalist! - is lame. You haven’t followed a straight-laced enough path yourself to get indignant.

    Posted by joe ink on 2007 02 01 at 12:37 AM • permalink

  15. #13 is linked to #10

    Posted by JonathanH on 2007 02 01 at 12:37 AM • permalink

  16. Ms Hardy would have exposed herself as soon as she opened her lips.

    Bald faced liar eh? Perhaps she’s had a brazilian recently?

    Posted by Nic on 2007 02 01 at 12:44 AM • permalink

  17. #14 no-one’s indignant, joe. Sometimes it’s fun to deflate the overblown posturings of a second-rate brain. (No reference to Zoe intended)

    As our own dear Andrea once remarked, these people have a carapace of self-regard that is thicker than rhinoceros hide. They need (nay, they demand!) deflating at every opportunity.

    Posted by JonathanH on 2007 02 01 at 12:45 AM • permalink

  18. #12, let us not forget she desires to be like BOB ELLIS !!
    nah, there’s no hope left for her…

    Posted by Rachel Corrie's Flatmate on 2007 02 01 at 12:46 AM • permalink

  19. #10- gotta disagree there, Zoe- I’ve rarely encountered more self-importance and egotistical posturing this side of a TV studio dressing room, oops she’s been there, done that.

    Like beating Kiwis and Poms at anything, this twerp cannot have enough slaps upside the head.

    Posted by Habib on 2007 02 01 at 12:52 AM • permalink

  20. From Marieke’s article:

    Joel insisted I bone up on Bulgakov;

    And that was the closest Marieke came to anyone boning up ...

    Posted by lingus4 on 2007 02 01 at 01:01 AM • permalink

  21. BTW, if she was the non-conformist, rebellious little minx she likes to portray herself as, given her background and lineage she would have gone into merchant banking or stockbroking, and invested in Prada, Porsche and penthouse- that really would give the wrinklies the shits, and have grand-dad doing 2000RPM in the Kremlin Wall.

    Posted by Habib on 2007 02 01 at 01:04 AM • permalink

  22. If you don’t want people extracting the urine from your published works, buy a pink Barbie diary with a key. Otherwise, nice typing, fuckhead.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 02 01 at 01:06 AM • permalink

  23. #18

    let us not forget she desires to be like BOB ELLIS !!

    Oh, no! It’s true! It’s true! In fact she yearns to be... he who shall remain nameless!

    (I was going to try to let this thread slip by, but was drawn in by the nameless one, yet again!)

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 02 01 at 01:07 AM • permalink

  24. More from Power Line about the Washington Post‘s Arkin blogging his support for the troops when they shut up and do what the Left tells them to believe:
    http://powerlineblog.com/archives/016662.php
    It also includes a ton more of links via the Michelle Malkin link.

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 02 01 at 01:09 AM • permalink

  25. #21 Yeah, Habib. She’s no rebel, just another rich bitch taking over the family business.

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 02 01 at 01:10 AM • permalink

  26. One of the things I like about this place is that people can tell you you’re full of it without actually being nasty about it.
    I may be wrong - wouldn’t be the first time, won’t be the last - but I remain unconvinced.

    Contrast Ms H. with the unspeakable Arkin in the WaPo, for someone who is truly narcissistic and full of their own importance. Someone who castigates US troops in Iraq for disagreeing with his own pontifications, and calls them mercenaries, baby-killers and too dumb to see that they’re tools of the Chimpy McHalliburton cabal. For some reason he misses out the Zionists from the cabal, but that may be an oversight.

    Bear in mind that this guy is the military affairs expert for the WaPo.

    Posted by Zoe Brain on 2007 02 01 at 01:22 AM • permalink

  27. That the media union has a code of ethics is news to me.
    Anyway, I followed the link and read them.
    I’m bu99ered if I can find one that the Age, at some time, hasn’t broken

    Posted by chrisgo on 2007 02 01 at 01:24 AM • permalink

  28. Well, her fas IS bald…

    Posted by blogagog on 2007 02 01 at 01:36 AM • permalink

  29. Speaking of The Age, is it just me or is this a curious turn of phrase? -

    UK plot to behead soldier

    The Evening Standard newspaper reported that video footage of the kidnap victim would have been used to appeal to Prime Minister Tony Blair to pull British troops out of Iraq.

    Emphasis mine.  “appeal”?  Really?  Not “extort”, “force”, “threaten”, “coerce”, “blackmail”, or (god forbid) “terrorize”, but “appeal”.  To their better nature I suppose.

    The Evening Standard article doesn’t appear to be available online, so I can’t tell if they’ve simply copied the wording of the original.  But the syntax suggests paraphrasing, not a verbatim quote.

    What does someone have to do to cop an unsympathetic report these days?

    Posted by alexs on 2007 02 01 at 01:37 AM • permalink

  30. Zoe, it’s not about Hardy’s self-deprecating positioning, unique as that may be for lefties.

    It’s about The Age telling her to get a story without disclosing her identity.

    Posted by ilibcc on 2007 02 01 at 01:39 AM • permalink

  31. #18 and #23 - aaaarrrrgggh.  You typed the evil “B” name.  Don’t you realise that everytime his name is typed, a child in Africa dies?

    You two are going to burn if you keep this up.  Just ask Bono.

    Posted by mr creosote on 2007 02 01 at 01:46 AM • permalink

  32. Okay, she started off amusing, but she’s starting to disturb even me! For those who want to compare her tits to fruit, here’s the link. Apparently this girl has very few secrets, and even less shame.

    So people, do you think that photo is really of her? Or is this a “Nice tits, Fuckhead!” moment?

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 02 01 at 01:46 AM • permalink

  33. #26

    I think you fancy her. Maybe you could dedicate your life to saving her from herself. Sounds to me like that’s the sort of bloke she wants.

    I suggest, however, you wouldn’t be tough enough. She needs a bit of, y’know, tough love. Interested, Habib?

    Posted by JonathanH on 2007 02 01 at 01:48 AM • permalink

  34. uh… face.

    Posted by blogagog on 2007 02 01 at 01:49 AM • permalink

  35. One by one, I am presented with a variety of male courters holding a variety of novels. David Mitchell’s Cloud Atlas. Charles Darwin’s Origin of the Species. In Cold Blood. The Michael Palin Diaries.

    For someone this pretentious, she’s remarkably ignorant. Charles Darwin’s book is “The Origin of Species”. And I’m pretty sure that it’s not a novel.

    Posted by blandwagon on 2007 02 01 at 02:02 AM • permalink

  36. #29

    I’ve watched a video of that.
    I didn’t find it appealing at all.

    Posted by kae on 2007 02 01 at 02:05 AM • permalink

  37. #33- not for all the Skylines, eccies and Kappa trackies in Canterbury. I’d rather go on a date with this character.

    Posted by Habib on 2007 02 01 at 02:05 AM • permalink

  38. Damn, I thought this thread was another one of Tim’s GPS obeying German motorists.

    Posted by 2BarRiff on 2007 02 01 at 02:14 AM • permalink

  39. Neither does there appear to be a published book entitled “The Michael Palin Diaries”, although Amazon does list Michael Palin’s “Diaries” for sale.

    Other Books on Ms Hardy’s Shelves

    The Lion, The Witch and The Closet
    The Michaelangelo Code
    The Female Eunice
    Withering Heights
    The Portrait of Dorian Grey

    Posted by blandwagon on 2007 02 01 at 02:16 AM • permalink

  40. Check out her clothing line.

    http://www.polichicks.org/

    I pay my hard earned taxes to keep people like her trapped in Uni. Who let her out?

    She is a little girl really, I kind of feel sorry for her. Read her stuff, its all about I’m so smart because I read chic modern fiction & falling in love with bohemian boys.

    She has obviously been thrust above her merit, because of her family connections.

    Born in to inner city left wing literary nobility - to child actor - to Petty Uni Lefty Arts student politics - to The Age and the ABC.

    Could anyone pen a more bunkered upbringing from the realities of the life faced by the Australian working and middle class?

    Her mentality is I guess, that some people do live outside Fitzroy, they probably even wear Australian flags and eat meat pies. And if it wasn’t for her and her ilk’s brave struggle on the behalf of the great unwashed, we would be heiling Hitler in 2 weeks.

    Let her dwell in her imaginary world. OOOOHHH hang on, my taxes are forcibly extracted from me to pay from this idiot to be shoved down my throat on TV, on second thoughts - fire away.

    Posted by mustus on 2007 02 01 at 02:16 AM • permalink

  41. #39

    Dean Quixote
    A Tale of Two Suburbs
    Oliver Bend
    The Count of Mount Christopher
    Frankenstone
    Robinson Cruiser

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 02 01 at 02:27 AM • permalink

  42. 1983
    Power Without Gary

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 02 01 at 02:29 AM • permalink

  43. #10. You’re wrong, Zoe Brain. What she is doing is adopting a passive-aggressive technique to try and forestall and deflect criticism. That’s all.

    Posted by McAnzac on 2007 02 01 at 02:33 AM • permalink

  44. #40 mustus—spot on! they do tend to come down with a thump, these bright young things. In their twenties it’s all gay and wonderful and yes, I’ll do the literary speed dating story at the State library. Then they hit 30 and think ‘what the fuck am I doing? I haven’t gone anywhere since I was 20!’

    then panic sets in.

    then they move to Byron Bay.

    #37 habib—I’m sure you would do a sterling job of improving his mental health.

    Posted by JonathanH on 2007 02 01 at 02:40 AM • permalink

  45. This is fun.

    Other titles:

    Man The Gray Flannel Suite
    Pied and Prejuice
    Julius Caesar Salad

    —Nora

    Posted by The Thin Man Returns on 2007 02 01 at 02:41 AM • permalink

  46. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Fixing
    Catch 22b
    Jonathon Livingston Penguin
    96000km Under the Sea
    The Time Mechanism
    Hitchhikers’ Guide to the Milky Way
    Harry Potter and the Magic Stone

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 02 01 at 02:44 AM • permalink

  47. Tim tam, I would like to speed date you in the back seat of a shag’n wagon or better still a boxy volvo!!

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 02 01 at 02:46 AM • permalink

  48. Murder On The Orient Espresso
    The Adventures of Huckleberry Hound
    Hounds Of The Basketballs

    —Nora

    Posted by The Thin Man Returns on 2007 02 01 at 02:48 AM • permalink

  49. Tim tam, I’m going to become your Valentine. 

    Andrea, I saw him first!!

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 02 01 at 02:50 AM • permalink

  50. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Gallery
    What Mockingbird Is That?
    1981
    Catch Nothing
    The Watcher in the Rye
    The Catcher on the Cast Iron Balcony
    No Expectations
    Heidelberg Heights
    Jane W. Eyre
    Captain Corelli’s Flute

    Posted by ilibcc on 2007 02 01 at 02:51 AM • permalink

  51. Gone With The Breeze
    Poor Fellow My County
    The Crimson Letter
    Tequila Mockingbird

    —Nora

    Posted by The Thin Man Returns on 2007 02 01 at 02:51 AM • permalink

  52. How to Win Friends and Influence Folks
    Atlas Flinched
    A Tram Named Desire
    The Power of Unnegative Thinking
    The Odd-at-Sea

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 02 01 at 02:51 AM • permalink

  53. Oh all right. Surely her library would include some Marxist classics:

    A History of the Wanking Class in England,
    The Richard of the Earth
    The Gropes of Ruth
    Downer Out With Paris Hilton in London

    Posted by JonathanH on 2007 02 01 at 02:53 AM • permalink

  54. The key to the World’s Most Boring Story is - keep it UNinteresting. Also keep your chapters very short, only a few sentences if possible. Try to create as many different chapters as possible.


    That will make speed dating at the library more enjoyable, and make the story more interesting…

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 02 01 at 02:54 AM • permalink

  55. Fronkstine
    Flill On The Moss
    Jude The Somewhat-Lesser-Known
    Lady Chatterley’s Over

    —Nora

    Posted by The Thin Man Returns on 2007 02 01 at 02:55 AM • permalink

  56. If she wants to be a sexologist, she’ll need to buy a copy of the Karma Suture.

    Posted by mr creosote on 2007 02 01 at 02:59 AM • permalink

  57. Or “The mating habits of Russian Minks”

    That would wake you up while sipping your slurpy drink.

    Hi tim b

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 02 01 at 03:00 AM • permalink

  58. The Man who would be Ken
    The Dense Rainforest Book
    Papa Longlegs
    Pippy LengthySocks
    The Fairly Well-Known Five
    The Hardy Youths
    Trickie Belden

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 02 01 at 03:02 AM • permalink

  59. The catalogue aisle E to H could be quite erotic while speed dating in a library.

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 02 01 at 03:04 AM • permalink

  60. The 007 List
    Dr Maybe
    Bronze Finger
    Diamonds Are Eternal
    Pentapussy

    —Nora

    Posted by The Thin Man Returns on 2007 02 01 at 03:05 AM • permalink

  61. Hoping for Big Things, Charles Dickens
    Small Chicks, Louisa May Alcott
    Brideshead Re-attached, Evelyn Waugh
    Anna Kournikova, Leo Tolstoy
    Memoirs Of Someone Involved in a Kind of Prostitution in Japan, Arthur Golden

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 02 01 at 03:13 AM • permalink

  62. No bookshelf is complete without a set of the Douglas Adam’s trilogy:

    The Hitchhikers Guide to the Belangalo Forest
    The Family Restaurant at the truckstop up the road
    Life, the universe, and a fair bit of stuff
    So long, and please, no anchovies next time
    Mostly armless

    Posted by mr creosote on 2007 02 01 at 03:20 AM • permalink

  63. But wait! There IS a novel called ‘Origin of the Species!’ Excerpts follow:

    1.

    Roughly Charles grabbed her heaving buttocks, pulling her down harshly onto the bo’s'uns mattress as at their feet the iguanas squeaked and cheeped their approval.
    ‘Darling.’ she said. ‘When I’m with you…I feel like I’m…evolving…’

    2.

    Galapagos! Galapagos! Oh, how his heart longed for it! The ducks! The walruses! The bearded dragons frolicking in the sun! Never had he felt so free, so totally at one with himself and nature! Never had he felt the oppressive weight of his harsh Midlands upbringing fall from his shoulders with such intoxicating, tropical ease!

    3.

    ‘Captain. You are wrong on sexual selection. Your theory of punctuated equilibria makes no sense. I have come to the reluctant conclusion that you are no longer a gradualist. I am therefore taking over this ship.’

    Posted by JonathanH on 2007 02 01 at 03:32 AM • permalink

  64. Through the Mirror
    The Royal-Chick and the Goblin
    Ten Little African-Americans
    The Mirror Broke’d
    Vale of the Dolls

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 02 01 at 03:33 AM • permalink

  65. Talking of instructions, seems Mark Latham would have done well to study the fine print on his shampoo bottle.

    Posted by RexW on 2007 02 01 at 03:41 AM • permalink

  66. #61 Infidel Tiger, my translation of that Arthur Golden novel is:

    ‘Memoirs of a Good Japanese Root.’

    must be a different publisher

    Posted by JonathanH on 2007 02 01 at 03:44 AM • permalink

  67. Wu Cheng-En’s epic Journey to the West in the new library speed-dater format:

    “All That Way and 81 Catastrophes, and All We Got Was Three Lousy Baskets of Scrolls?”

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 02 01 at 03:52 AM • permalink

  68. #19

    Like beating Kiwis and Poms at anything, this twerp cannot have enough slaps upside the head.

    Oh yeah? Yeah?! Well you just wait till we play you at… err… well… I know! Oh no wait a second…

    Let me get back to you on that. I have to find out where the NZ Curling team is at present.

    Posted by RexW on 2007 02 01 at 03:53 AM • permalink

  69. NZ is pretty good at continuing to elect a PM who treats going to the Rugby like it’s a bloody race.

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 02 01 at 03:57 AM • permalink

  70. Well spotted Tim, an important story about The Age pretending to adhere to exalted standards while increasingly publishing from the sewer (non-Werribee).

    While the Comrade Honeytrap Hardy and her soon to be named and shamed editor might not be a member of MEAA and feel constrained by the journalist’s union ethics code, they are most certainly within the jurisdiction of the Australian Press Council which has extensive powers which could range from rapping them over the knuckles to sweeping the matter under the carpet.

    She appears to be in breach of their principle four:

    News obtained by dishonest or unfair means, or the publication of which would involve a breach of confidence, should not be published unless there is an over-riding public interest.

    Those wishing to express concern at how far The Age has sunk can express their concern by complaining to the Australian Press Council. This can be done online.

    Posted by Andrew Landeryou on 2007 02 01 at 03:59 AM • permalink

  71. Infidel Tiger good shit! 22 & 42 had me roaring with laughter.

    And on another note, I will never go to another literary speed dating session with ‘The story of O’ under my arm again.

    Posted by Penguin on 2007 02 01 at 04:07 AM • permalink

  72. The Man Who Giggled
    Ninety-three and a Half
    The Hunched Shoulders of Notre Dame
    The Last of the Moccasins
    The Adventures of Sherlock House

    With all due respect, Zoe, and acknowledging that she isn’t the worst I’ve read from the left (though her comments about the child with the flag were beyond the pale), the child can’t write.  After reading Margo, The Ant, Pilger, Greer, this trollop, et al, I’m beginning to wonder how Tim managed to get a job in his chosen profession.  He’s much too articulate and actually knows how to write a complete thought.  He even knows how to be humorous without being self-consciously self-indulgent.  And his blog is so far ahead of hers that it lives in another space and time.

    In closing, I especially want to offer my sincere appreciation to Tim for not publishing pictures of his naughty bits.

    Posted by saltydog on 2007 02 01 at 04:08 AM • permalink

  73. #71

    Wasn’t that you I saw in Happy Feet?

    Posted by JonathanH on 2007 02 01 at 04:23 AM • permalink

  74. Of course she has a few local classics, such as:

    Seven Little Flag-Waving Fuckheads,
    Naked Under a Unicorn, and
    Wake in Agitated Discomfiture.

    Posted by anthony_r on 2007 02 01 at 04:24 AM • permalink

  75. From her original article:

    There is an awkward pause.

    So what do you do?” he asks eventually, trying to surreptitiously look down my top before our five minutes is up.

    I wonder if she answered the question, which was no doubt asked by several others during the night. The article gives no further information (apart from suggesting he’s a letch).

    Did she lie outright? Would the other attendees of a singles function, be entitled to compensation?

    Posted by Dan Lewis on 2007 02 01 at 04:26 AM • permalink

  76. Rooted, you know, the one by Alex Haley?

    #72
    and thanks for no wobbly bits piccies.

    Posted by kae on 2007 02 01 at 04:29 AM • permalink

  77. Journalistic Ethics. Much akin to the food-sharing tendencies of dogs.
      I really don’t care one way or the other what Ms Hardy or The Age do. From where I’m sitting, both are about as relevant as the current length of Juan Cole’s nose hairs.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 02 01 at 04:31 AM • permalink

  78. #74

    Seven Little Flag-Waving Fuckheads

    ROFL

    Blinky William
    Sugglevessle and Cuddlepastry
    Dot and the Macropod
    The Magic Dessert
    The Fatal Beach
    On the Shore
    A Town Like Milton
    Robbery Under Hands

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 02 01 at 04:31 AM • permalink

  79. in all due fairness, the boobies weren’t half bad.

    Posted by dub kitty on 2007 02 01 at 04:34 AM • permalink

  80. #79

    But were they really hers?

    And more importantly, lemon or grapefruit?

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 02 01 at 04:38 AM • permalink

  81. #80

    Didn’t she describe them as mangoes?

    Posted by kae on 2007 02 01 at 04:40 AM • permalink

  82. #79

    And apparently they’re all yours, if you buy her a drink, a meal, or have a hot mix on your CD player.

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 02 01 at 04:41 AM • permalink

  83. #81

    Somehow, I associate her with something sour…

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 02 01 at 04:42 AM • permalink

  84. #17, Sorry, JonathanH, you can’t deflate a carapace. Ask any tortoise.

    Posted by Big Arnie on 2007 02 01 at 04:51 AM • permalink

  85. #84

    Dang. And here was me carrying on about second-rate brains. Takes one to know one…

    Posted by JonathanH on 2007 02 01 at 04:59 AM • permalink

  86. #60
    The 007 List

    The next movie:
    Born Yesterday to Kill Again Tomorrow, Finger

    (c/- Comedy Central)

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 02 01 at 05:07 AM • permalink

  87. Oh yes, and her tits are more like over-ripe plums. She’s a bit young to have such water balloon floppies, isn’t she?

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 02 01 at 05:07 AM • permalink

  88. #87
    Not the best, for a childless 30 y.o.?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 02 01 at 05:16 AM • permalink

  89. A Tale of Two Titties
    Catch U2
    BraveFart (A Guide to Incontinence)
    Coles New World

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 02 01 at 05:17 AM • permalink

  90. Since she’s also a TV critic:

    Last Man Erect

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 02 01 at 05:23 AM • permalink

  91. #79

    in all due fairness, the boobies weren’t half bad.

    Perhaps David Hicks would like her. I hear he likes tits.

    Posted by Dan Lewis on 2007 02 01 at 05:23 AM • permalink

  92. Cloudroad
    Mammal Farm
    Homage to Andalusia
    The Two Dudes of Verona

    Posted by benson swears a lot on 2007 02 01 at 05:29 AM • permalink

  93. hope im not too late too join in the fun- more Marieked classics

    Summer and Fall of the Roman Empire
    Heart of Dimness
    Revels with my Aunt
    Oedipal Racks

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 02 01 at 05:31 AM • permalink

  94. couldn’t resist:

    The Deity of Diminutive Miscellanies
    One Day in the Life of Denis Ivanovich
    The New Mexico Kid

    Posted by benson swears a lot on 2007 02 01 at 05:36 AM • permalink

  95. #32.  She doesn’t look quite so rootable in that pic, but still gets a thumbs up.

    Posted by Steve at the pub on 2007 02 01 at 05:36 AM • permalink

  96. #95
    ‘thumbs up’?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 02 01 at 05:51 AM • permalink

  97. #90
    Planet of the Rapes (Lakemba edition)
    I Dream of Houdini
    To Catch a Handkerchief

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 02 01 at 05:55 AM • permalink

  98. #87
    She’ll get complaints from the IBTC (Itty Bitty Titty Committee)?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 02 01 at 06:06 AM • permalink

  99. Wasn’t there some american reporterette who went “undercover” to a dating service, went on dates, then came home and flayed in print the poor bastards who’d gone out with her?

    Yep. The story that came out of that is Searching for Mr. Right, and the report from one of her victims is here.

    Posted by Rob Crawford on 2007 02 01 at 06:46 AM • permalink

  100. Did anyone else notice that even though she’s pro-everything useful, she’s wearing a set of dogtags in the picture she claims is of her boobies?

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 02 01 at 06:53 AM • permalink

  101. #23 a couple of months ago I got my hair bobbed - noting to a friend that I delighted in feeling my hair bob about, he immediately named my ‘do’ Bob Ellis.

    Say, apparently Marieke Hardy wants to be like Bob Ellis, how do you feel about that?
    Who’d have thought perky prose would give way to sonorous monotony?

    Toodles!

    Posted by carpefraise on 2007 02 01 at 07:00 AM • permalink

  102. “...The Story of O ...”

    Published elsewhere as “Date and Debauch For Your Blood-Type.”

    Posted by carpefraise on 2007 02 01 at 07:12 AM • permalink

  103. Slightly O/T
    Ramona Koval from ABC Radio National’s ‘The Book Show’:
    ... thuggish patriotism in the face of the Cronulla riots ...

    (No transcript avail.)

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 02 01 at 07:27 AM • permalink

  104. #102
    ”The Story of OJ: If I squeezed her oranges, this is how it happened”

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 02 01 at 07:32 AM • permalink

  105. #35 One by one, I am presented with a variety of male courters holding a variety of novels. David Mitchell’s Cloud Atlas. Charles Darwin’s Origin of the Species. In Cold Blood. The Michael Palin Diaries.

    For someone this pretentious, she’s remarkably ignorant. Charles Darwin’s book is “The Origin of Species”. And I’m pretty sure that it’s not a novel.

    Blandwagon, The Origin of Species was not a novel, you’re right. Darwin’s Origin of the Species, however, was a poorly-written novella self-published by Darwin’s dad but nobly (if inefficiently) marketed by Darwin. Some torn first editions were found in a mangrove swamp near a suspiciously sanitary-looking seating arrangement…
    Apparently since it sold at least ten copies, it was enough to classify Darwin’s Dad as a “best-selling author”.

    Posted by carpefraise on 2007 02 01 at 07:33 AM • permalink

  106. #101

    a couple of months ago I got my hair bobbed - noting to a friend that I delighted in feeling my hair bob about, he immediately named my ‘do’ Bob Ellis.

    I was wondering when that old bastard would haunt this thread again. (Bob Ellis, that is, not your friend!)

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 02 01 at 07:37 AM • permalink

  107. #63 Dammit I didn’t read your entry before I posted mine!


    Must have had a different typesetter…

    Posted by carpefraise on 2007 02 01 at 07:39 AM • permalink

  108. More O/T:

    “The Colbert Report”: faux US Current Affairs show new to Oz Comedy Channel;
    Promo:

    We try to show both sides (of the issue) ... even if there aren’t any ...

    Auntie: taking notes?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 02 01 at 07:49 AM • permalink

  109. The Bobbitt - the story of a legendary hunt for a lost penis.
    The Blair Bitch Project - this thread.

    Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 02 01 at 07:55 AM • permalink

  110. #106 AS
    He’ll be Bobbing up in your nightmares ... especially if he’s Bobbing down?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 02 01 at 08:00 AM • permalink

  111. There once was a shrew full of malice,
    Who aspired to be fat Bob Ellis,
    Her tits she’d expose,
    Twixt tree prolix prose,
    She really was a complete phallus.

    Posted by Habib on 2007 02 01 at 08:23 AM • permalink

  112. Make that “twee”- PIMF.

    Posted by Habib on 2007 02 01 at 08:24 AM • permalink

  113. #100, I meant anti-everything useful, not “pro-everything useful” as I actually wrote.

    I guess re-reading my posts is a good idea.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 02 01 at 09:35 AM • permalink

  114. #26 Zoe: I have to differ from you to some extent on Marieke, but you couldn’t be more correct in your assessment of the execrable William Arkin. For those who feel the need for a little journalistic ipecac, check out this item at Jules Crittenden’s blog.

    My main objections to Marieke are the sheer crassness of her style and the “look-at-me” exhibitionism (and the plain bad writing).

    Posted by paco on 2007 02 01 at 09:41 AM • permalink

  115. zoe, snap out of it.  marieke is simply tiresome & possibly the oldest female adolescent in australia

    Posted by KK on 2007 02 01 at 10:03 AM • permalink

  116. Beige Mischief
    Great Expectorations
    Sons & Others
    The Golden Bowel
    A Picture of the Artist as a Young Fellow
    An Impotent Abroad
    Roughed it
    All the King’s Friends
    Tess of the D’Ueberalles
    The Mayor of Castoroil
    Death Comes for the Episcopal Prelate
    And short stories:
    Bartle & James the Scriveners
    Ball of Fun
    Gift of the Magicians

    P.S RCF post #9 :)

    Posted by kiwinews on 2007 02 01 at 11:17 AM • permalink

  117. I started to write something about some smug, supercilious, unnecessarily nasty faux-writer, but this thread made me laugh so hard, I forgot what we were talking about.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 02 01 at 11:35 AM • permalink

  118. High Expectations
    Tale of Two Suburbs
    Prometheus Tied Up
    In Praise of Being Foolish
    Paradise Misplaced

    Posted by sarah rolph on 2007 02 01 at 12:21 PM • permalink

  119. As best as I can parse that Arkin rant, he seems to labour under the belief that the US military isn’t actually a regular army that engages in recruiting, but rather some kind of shadowy para-military organization composed of people who said, “you know what, let’s get ourselves some guns and be the official military representation of the United States of America”, and now Arkin is dismayed that public opinion requires him to support this self-appointed group whose existence he had nothing to do with.

    No, it doesn’t make any sense, but that’s par for the course for leftoid anti-military scribblings.

    Maybe they don’t teach concepts such as “country”, “nationhood”, and “representative government” in journalism school anymore.

    Posted by PW on 2007 02 01 at 01:20 PM • permalink

  120. After calling the entirety of the US military “mercenaries”, I’d suggest he stay a good distance away from any of the money-grubbing curs. They’re quite likely to bite after such an insult.

    As are many ex-military. And their spouses. And kids.

    Posted by mojo on 2007 02 01 at 04:00 PM • permalink

  121. mojo:

    Oh, don’t worry: he recanted the mercenaries claim… only to dig deeper.

    Posted by Patrick Chester on 2007 02 01 at 04:56 PM • permalink

  122. The curious thing about Ms Fits’s recent post is that she now now claims it was an ‘emotional precis’, and not a verbatim transcript of events.

    But why on earth would you write an emotional precis for your readers that presents you as graceless, rude, and less intelligent than said bogan draped in an Aussie flag? It’s bizarre.

    Anyway, I can’t say I like Fitsy’s blog or read it much, but Zoe could have a point. That comments thread on the previous day was derailed by idiotic, humourless anonymous commenters. I mean, why would you click on a link criticising Fitsy for her intolerance and rudeness, and then go over and leaving comments like:

    Anonymous said:
    ahh… the smell of rotting c*nt.
    that you marieke?

    Bloody disgusting. There were others, though this particular anonymous was the worst.

    Posted by TimT on 2007 02 01 at 07:37 PM • permalink

  123. Nice one, #63. If you ever need help writing the script for Carry On Up The Beagle, let me know :)

    Posted by blandwagon on 2007 02 01 at 08:31 PM • permalink

  124. $122- saw that comment and a number of other gratuitously moronic similar sprays, but I have a sneaking suspicion that the author of said dross is either Fitsy herself or some of her muckers, in order to prove her point about the stupidity and crassness of conservatives and to obtain victim/martyr status. It’s not as if it’s the first time one of these mouth-breathers invented a campaign of hate/invextive when they’ve been sprung being a fuckwit, what better defence than to deflect opprobrium onto your percieved enemies? It seems to me that the only one using that level of discourse up to then was the Fitzroy Fishwife ‘erself. (And what’s the local terminology for a Mockney? I reckon ‘er an’ Lily Allen would get on like an ‘ouse on fire, wot wif being a couple of middle class poseurs rightous council estate slappers wot made good wif no ‘elp from their absent farvers an’all. I’m rather taken with “Pogan”, a blend of pretend and bogan).

    Posted by Habib on 2007 02 01 at 09:32 PM • permalink

  125. A pisstake on our RWDB outrage has created: HardyWatch

    It’s actually quite amusing. But of course, it only half mentions the bits and pieces that caught our collective (can I say that??) eye.

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 02 02 at 04:05 AM • permalink

  126. make that “has been created”

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 02 02 at 04:06 AM • permalink

  127. And now on her Friday Q&A someone raises a question about Blairite attacks and suggests quite reasonably that it should be an each to his own situation. But Ms FIts can’t allow that one to get away. Apparently we won’t be happy until she’s dead.

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 02 02 at 04:26 AM • permalink

  128. # 122;
    “Anonymous said:
    ahh… the smell of rotting c*nt.
    that you marieke?
    Bloody disgusting. There were others, though this particular anonymous was the worst. “
    I have no doubt that many of the comments from our side of the fence have been rash and ill thought. However, remember it is ‘Anonymous’ and should be viewed with a healthy dose of scepticism.

    Let me tell you a story (music starts);

    When I was in Uni at the in Queensland in the mid - late nineties, I became quite good friends with a bloke. He was from one of the poorest areas of the outer suburbs of Brisbane.

    He worked almost full time in a Hardware shop to pay to put himself through Uni. He worked his arse off and paid his HECS fees upfront every semester to get a discount, entirely from his part-time wages (also he paid for an engagement ring for his girlfriend - I was amazed, trust me, I was half the man he was). He was a suburb human being; let’s put it this way, my greatest regret in Uni was not that I should have studied harder, but that I eventually lost contact with him.

    Let’s move on,

    At the time we hard a hard left wing Student Union, voted in by the non-voting and apathy of the average student. They were essentially a roll call of kids who were driven to private school (not just normal private school, but expensive and exclusive private schools) in there mum’s Mercedes, only two or three years previously.

    The student rag (monthly magazine) had just released its latest edition, and one article in particular, was full of some of the most ill considered, off the wall and vindictive nonsense about Australia.

    He was deeply offended by the article. So he wrote a letter of complaint to the ‘editor’. He showed me a draft of the letter and asked ‘what do you think?’. It was well written and well mannered.

    I said, ‘look mate don’t bother, these people are a nasty bunch of pricks, don’t bother’. He sent it in, anyway.

    In the next issue, they had published his complaint. To his horror, the ‘editor’ had just published three lines out of context and purposely made gross spelling mistakes and glaring grammatical errors – in essence to make him look like a moronic ‘hick’. He was incensed. Again he asked me what he should do and I said again, ‘look mate don’t bother, these people are a nasty bunch of pricks, don’t bother’.

    So he marched up to the Student Union and demanded to speak to the ‘editor’. He was called a ‘Tory prick’ and told to fuck off. He did not even know what a ‘Tory’ was.

    Anyway the in the next issue, they published a story about some ‘Tory’ prick being angry and confronting the staff. Again, he was mage out to look like an angry moronic ‘hick’.

    What I am trying to say is this, I would not be in the least bit surprised that was actually written by one of Ms Fits’s fellow travellers or indeed by possibly herself.

    Think about, it discredits the ‘Blairites’; it also allows them the ability to sideline the main issue and gives them a small dose of moral superiority.

    Posted by mustus on 2007 02 02 at 08:45 PM • permalink

  129. Bugger, a few spelling and grammatical errors in my post. Always proof read.

    Posted by mustus on 2007 02 02 at 08:49 PM • permalink

  130. Page 1 of 1 pages

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