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HOSTAGE THREATENED
Carbon credits are so 2006. This is the modern eBay way to scam cash from Gorelings:
Show your concern for global warming and your love of nature by paying to keep a tree alive. If a tree does not sell it dies, I will cut it down and burn it releasing all the carbon it has stored. So save a tree or help heat the world, your choice.
The fate of several trees hangs in the balance:
If nobody bids on this tree I will kill it and trees 4 and 5. 5 is just a baby but I will kill it anyway, I will rip it up by the roots and let it die slowly in the sun.
Should environmentalists negotiate with this arboreal hostage-taker? If they do, I suggest we all join the insurgent treenapping movement.
He should have named the trees, not referred to them by number. “If no one bids I will kill Gaia.”
It puts the lotion on its bark or it gets the hose again.
Posted by Ernst Blofeld on 2007 03 22 at 11:49 AM • permalinkOh, this has got to be one of the commenters here. It has all the earmarks: greed, selfishness, utter indifference to the environment. Actually I can think of 5, 10, ok, 122 people here who are so depraved that they would do it.
Heck, maybe it’s a conspiracy. All we need now is special effects. Black helicopters carrying bounded trees possibly.
I think I’ll whisper something about this to Novak.
Posted by wronwright on 2007 03 22 at 12:21 PM • permalink’He should have named the trees, not referred to them by number. “If no one bids I will kill Gaia.”’
Just the sort of calculated cruelty one would expect from the head of SPECTRE!
Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 03 22 at 12:54 PM • permalinkLovely Sequoia ya got here Guv’nor. Be a shame if something happened to it.
Posted by Bill Spencer on 2007 03 22 at 01:12 PM • permalinkHe should mail the trees to Al Gore, one branch at a time.
Posted by Don Charleone on 2007 03 22 at 01:36 PM • permalinkYou beat me to it, Merlin. He’s not very original. This cover was done in 1973.
Hmmm.
He should mail the trees to Al Gore, one branch at a time.
ROFLMAO!
Posted by memomachine on 2007 03 22 at 01:57 PM • permalinkI fear the World Court must soon get involved.
Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2007 03 22 at 02:06 PM • permalinkOh no Mr Bingley. The horror, the horror....
Posted by alien kiwi on 2007 03 22 at 02:19 PM • permalinkToo late.
Trees number 1 and 3 are dead. The Auctions ended and nobody cared enough to save a tree so now they are dead. When they dry out and their poor little leaves turn brown and start to fall off I will burn them adding all the carbon they had locked up in their brief lives to the atmosphere. I hope you are happy.
LOL! Just like Dr. Phat Tony’s Kill Jill campaign—send money or the goat gets it!
Posted by rightwingprof on 2007 03 22 at 04:01 PM • permalinkThere was also the guy a year or so back who did the same thing with a rabbit. Gave it a cute name, posted cute pictures and everything and said if he didn’t get $50,000 he’d kill it and eat it.
People went crazy trying to have him charged with just about anything but there was no law against it - as long as he killed the rabbit humanely.
Not sure how it worked out though. Maybe it went the way of trees 1 and 3.
Unfortunately as a grower of trees I’m now having to take the chainsaw to some 400 20 year olds because due to the drought and resultant horticultural downturn, the market has well...dried up and I need to make a living from the land they occupy.
So you’ll forgive me if I don’t belly laugh at the scam.If nobody bids on this tree I will kill it and trees 4 and 5. 5 is just a baby but I will kill it anyway, I will rip it up by the roots and let it die slowly in the sun.
I think I’m in love.
Posted by Tungsten Monk on 2007 03 23 at 12:51 PM • permalink#13 Sadly, I only have one tree on my small plot of land,
Would that be a Zionist plot?
Posted by carpefraise on 2007 03 24 at 05:36 AM • permalink
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Eco-terrorism!