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HOLDEN HSV MALOO R8
Apologies for lack of posts. I’ve been driving around country NSW in Holden’s Maloo R8, which is a kind of NASCAR-infused rural freight transporter. Corvette-sourced six-litre LS2 engine; top speed north of 160mph (260 kmh).
So far, one speeding ticket: 116 kmh in a 100 zone, radar pegged by an oncoming police car on a two-lane Hume Highway stretch. The officer taped our post-capture conversation, which is new. I asked the same question I always ask after being pulled over by someone who’s just performed a U-turn on a highway and chased me down at a speed far greater than the one I’m being fined for:
Tim: “What speed did you hit when you were chasing me?”
Friendly officer: “Sorry?”
Tim: “How fast were you going after you turned around and chased me?”
Friendly officer: “I ... I don’t know. I didn’t check.”
Tim: “You don’t know? It’d have to be at least 130-140. Come on.”
Slightly-less-friendly officer: “I just go as fast as I have to, sir.”
If speed alone is deadly—and we’re constantly told it is—then my happy policeman had just presented a greater danger than my mild 16 kmh breach. Add to that the collision potential offered by a highway U-turn. I’m not sure if my argument impressed him, but at least he kicked my fine down to a lower category.
Whatever; it’s the first fine I’ve received in a year or so. It helps if you regard them as speeding fees.
The car: hilariously impressive. It’s way high-geared (urban speed limit reached in first, highway limit in second, with four more to go) which isn’t altogether a bad thing, since it’ll save incinerating $500 Pirellis on takeoff. In second, at idle, it’ll roll along by itself at 15 kmh or so. High-rev upchanges produce identical sonic impacts as you’ll hear at drag meets.
Downchanges are another matter. The Tremec gearbox is a long-throw bitch of a thing. Snappy 6-5-4-3 downchanges aren’t easily achieved. But who cares? Leave it in third and beat everyone on the road.
<Brad Pitt"The Mexican"> El Camino. </Brad>
Posted by William Young on 2005 06 11 at 11:43 AM • permalinkHere’s an El Camino. To be really classy you have to have a horn that plays “Dixie” when you tap it.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2005 06 11 at 11:50 AM • permalinkNice, I’ve always liked the Holdens, I wished GM would bring the brand over to the U.S., but at least the new Pontiac GTO is based on one. I also wish Ford would start making a version of one of the high performance versions of the Falcon for the U.S. market. LOL, speaking of speeding cops, have you ever noticed how much cops speed when they’re just patroling. I got passed by a police car the other day that was doing about 20 miles per hour (around 32 kph) faster than the posted limit. The big emergency? The police car stopped at a fast food place and pulled into the drive-thru.
I’d like to stack that up against the Shelby F-150…
And “Kids, don’t try this at home” message… C’mon, Tim, it’s your fault he was driving that fast; what’s your excuse? Just suck it up and take some responsibility, boy…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 06 11 at 01:03 PM • permalinkYears ago I had a layover in Australia so I immediately tried to rent the fastest Holden or Ford Falcon availiable instead of taking my wife to the Opera House. Oops, the women took one look at me, ( I tried not to drool), and announced that all that was ready was a 3-cylinder Suzuki. Oh well, like the earlier posts I can only hope that GMC would import some idiotically fast cars from Australia or be taken over by Toyota. Neither likely.
Posted by Pat Patterson on 2005 06 11 at 01:12 PM • permalink. Don’t think of them as cops, they’re itinerant tax collectors.
. If there is anything sillier than a front-wheel drive car with a rear spoiler, it’s a pickup with one.
Posted by Bruce Rheinstein on 2005 06 11 at 01:34 PM • permalinkHere’s an El Camino. To be really classy you have to have a horn that plays “Dixie” when you tap it.
Don’t forget the Astroturf!
Posted by nofixedabode on 2005 06 11 at 02:31 PM • permalinkA car like that looks like it begs to be driven fast. :)
Posted by marknicodemo on 2005 06 11 at 03:12 PM • permalinkThe Maloo
I always wondered when the big car makers would run out of names. Apparently about now. What’s a Maloo?
And Jensen Button on pole in Montreal. Go figger.
Posted by Wallace-Midland Texas on 2005 06 11 at 03:19 PM • permalinkWallace-Midland Texas — It’s a car you park in Wooloomooloo (or Kalamazoo if you can afford to import one)...
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 06 11 at 03:22 PM • permalinkHere in LA, the perfect El Camino comes with the optional primer-and-bondo finish, the blown-shocks option, and the OEM gardening tools package in the cargo bed, Oh, and the horn plays the Mexican Hat Dance or Guadalajara, not Dixie…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 06 11 at 04:12 PM • permalinkWhatever; it’s the first fine I’ve received in a year or so.
Out of curiosity how do speeding fines work in AU that you so glib about them?In the US (varies by state) after (say) 3 tickets in 3 years we lose our license and for every ticket our car insurance always goes up. Plus, if you get ticketed near a school, your insurance either skyrockets or some companies refuse to insure you.
Or, is it like NZ where there is no requirement that you have auto insurance and their driving is … well. (Lovely country but I swear to God I shaved at least 2 years off my life driving through the 1-lane section of Buller Gorge.)
Also, have the AU governments succumb to the lure of easy revenue and setup photo-radar everywhere or do you still need a cop to write you the ticket?
I suppose the spoiler’s necessary as unloaded utes are light in the rear and it’s hard to keep the wheels on the ground. Anything other that a straight line take-off has the tyres smoking so they’re hopeless at pulling on to a main road off a T-junction at speed.
The spoiler would just be a pain in the backside when you’re throwing in bags of cement, a mixer and a wheel barrow. Your average cocky would find it a pest loading and unloading bales of hay feeding the poddies.
Would probably be regarded as a bit poofy at the Deni ute muster.
Posted by walterplinge on 2005 06 11 at 07:08 PM • permalinkThose things would make a *killing* selling in some U.S. cities.
Posted by Aaron - Freewill on 2005 06 11 at 07:08 PM • permalinkHa ha ha - last Monday I was travelling south from Moora doing, allegedly, 115 kph in a landcruiser and trailer with quad bike.
Passed the constabule travelling north, waved to each other, then noticed his lights flashing.
BEing aware of my sin, I stopped and admitted to doing 110 kph.
I was let off with a caution.
See Tim, all depends on the approach to the Constabule.
6 litres? Why not just go for a hoon in a goddamMighty Boy. Nice to see Australian content rules producing a success though.
BTW- be interesting to see how it stacks up against this bugger.
Tim doesn’t always handle traffic stops as well as he might…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 06 11 at 11:30 PM • permalinkAfter reading your touching story, I just went out to the garage and had a tender moment with my radar detector. The bastards can pry my Bel 980 out of my cold dead hands.
Posted by Matt in Denver on 2005 06 11 at 11:57 PM • permalinkAnd some background on the history of Central Queensland moonbattery- it’s not a new phenomenon.
My pet-hate is when (thanks to my awfully polite upbringing) I say “thank you” to the ticketing officer when he hands it over.
I then spend the rest of the day wishing I’d said something a little less polite…
Posted by Indy Media Watch on 2005 06 12 at 04:52 AM • permalinkCute.
Shame about the bogans who daily endanger the lives of ordinary people going about their lives - driving to work, dropping their kids off at school, etc. While having to contend with fast-boy - and -girl morons who think every public byway is a freeway assigned for their personal use.
Highway aggression is a growing manifestation of today’s ‘I am special, get out of my way’ culture.
You are not special. Get over it. And conform to our laws of the road.
Hey, get out of my road, ilibcc- I’ve got a brand new Hyundai Exel, and have just watched an episode of the Powerpuff Girlz!
Brittney-Slappelle-Kylie-Natalie
(Sorry, Andrea, for signing this, but I’m using Uncle Habib’s sign in, and he’s passed out with an empty slab of VB and a bucket bong after the V8 Supercars in Chinkie-land. What would those zipper-heads know about burnouts,eh?)"Highway aggression is a growing manifestation of today’s ‘I am special, get out of my way’ culture.”
Far more dangerous is highway passive-aggression. I mean the clowns who park their asses in the left lane and go exactly 65 mph. Now they’ve got people passing them on the inside to get around them, they’re accordioning the traffic behind them, and they’re generally getting people to blow their gaskets.
Or the asswipes who go 10 mph below the speed limit on a windy two-lane road in the no-passing zone, then speed up when it staightens out into a passing zone and you’re trying to get around him.
Speed doesn’t kill. Speed differential kills. And “breaking the law” by speeding on an empty road designed for speeds 10 mph higher back when cars were less capable and less safe at half that speed is not reckless. In 20+ years of motorcycling, I’ve never been almost killed by a speeder. It’s always been the minivans and Volvos dropping their kids off to school. And now it’s the cell-phone jockeys, too.
Caravans.
Old farts dragging caravans.
Should be justifiable homicide. “ I am cleaning up the gene pool, Your Honour”
Case dismissed.I’m with you, Dave S, the anti motorcycle drongos want front number plates on bikes because “they get away with speeding.
Nothing to do with safety, better roads or anything resembling.
Just $$$$$$$$. Tim hit the nail on the head: “speed tax”Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2005 06 12 at 10:58 AM • permalinkTim was only going about 10 miles over the speed limit, ilibcc. And he was on an interstate (or whatever you call them down there) highway, not driving near your kids’ school. There are a lot more dangerous speeders than that out there, the ones who think they’re Mad Max. I’m sure the pain to his pocket is enough of a lesson, and he did point out that in order to catch up with his dangerous speeding self the police officer had to be going even faster. As neither of them ended up in a wreck this gives some weight to the argument that it’s not speeding per se but bad driving that causes most wrecks.
I am surprised though that Tim didn’t get in trouble for sassing a police officer.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2005 06 12 at 11:13 AM • permalinkAndrea Harris — to be fair, in California he’d have kissed the patrol car trunk, had his car tossed for a contraband search and probably had another ticket for his “broken” taillights and turn signals: “That *crunch* one *crunch* there *crunch*,,,” (Do ya think Tim would have told the cop, “you missed one.”?)
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 06 12 at 12:30 PM • permalinkrichard, I suspect that Tim should be pulled over in California, he would promptly be tasered.
If that happened, should we eagerly await the distribution of the car camera video, or do we start a massive e-mail/letter/petition to Governor Schwartzenegger complaining about the storm trooper tactics against a member of the MSM?
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 06 12 at 02:12 PM • permalinkThe_Real_JeffS — Depends how funny he dances.
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 06 12 at 03:21 PM • permalinkJust curious , on righthand drive cars what positions are the accelerator and brake pedal ?
Posted by Quidnunc Savant on 2005 06 12 at 05:14 PM • permalinkI’m with you on the U-Turn danger. Had an Arizona patrolman almost cause a massive pile-up by doing same. As it was, it was only the retired couple behind rear ending us (imagine that - retirees in AZ). Slow reaction time and all that. Unforgivable on the patrolman’s part since those of us in the back seat spilled our beers despite heroic efforts at suds preservation.
Posted by Tommy Shanks on 2005 06 12 at 09:17 PM • permalinkGruntled — No one that I saw used “irresponsible speeders.” The closest I saw anyone come was my own asking Tim to accept the responsibility for causing the cop to drive fast to catch him. He sped, he got caught, own up to it and move on…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 06 12 at 10:56 PM • permalinkHighway aggression is a growing manifestation of today’s ‘I am special, get out of my way’ culture.
You are not special. Get over it. And conform to our laws of the road.
You must be the turd in front of me driving the rusted EH.
Posted by swassociates on 2005 06 12 at 11:22 PM • permalinkI’m always polite to the filth ‘til they start writing out the bluey, then I’m impolite but not abusive or agressive (they can pinch you for offensive behaviour). I record the bastards on my camera-phone now, in case they fuck up anything that can be used as a defence (and they hate it). Speeding on its own being dangerous is an insult to anyone with a functional brain’s intelligence; inappropriate speed, bad roads and driver incompetence cause prangs, not speed- if that were the case, Germany and Italy’s autobahns and autostradas would be awash with blood (particularly the autostradas, as they not only have people exceeding 100 mph, but those people are mostly Italian). A perfect example of how much radar enforcement has to do with road safety- in Qld at least if your vehicle is registered in a company name, there is an option to pay triple the fine and not assign guilt to a driver, so if you’re a rich sod with a Kremer Porsche in your trust’s name, you can blow every radar in the state, cough a wedge of dough and never accrue a penalty point. BTW- front plates were removed from motorcycles as a safety issue- riders were getting cut up by the plate if they high-sided over the bars; if they try to bring them back, they’ll have a fight on their hands.
Wasn’t talking about on this board. In general. Coming back along my favourite twisty driving road just north of Sydney which is 70 for half of it. I sat behind a car doing 45-50, even on the straights. Came to straight which is about 1k long so I overtook. The driver flashed his lights, blew his horns etc etc and sped up and tried to sit on my tail the rest of the way.
He had a Toyota Avalon which explains a lot.
Two observations:
1) If GM can build cars like that in Australia, then why can’t they do the same in the States? They’d be in a lot less trouble, in terms of image and financing, if they marketed cars like the Maloo R8 in the US.
By comparison, look at what DaimlerChrysler has done in recent years with cars like the Plymouth Prowler, the Dodge Viper (and the recent Viper-derived Ram SRT-10 pickup; wonder how the Maloo would stack up against that?), and the Hemi-powered, high-performance versions of the Chrysler 300C sedan, the Dodge Magnum sport wagon and the new Charger. Or look at what Ford did with the new Mustang. Even with gas prices ranging from $2.00 to $3.00 a gallon here in the US, there’s still a market for fast cars...and yes, I’m aware gas costs more in Oz. Yet there’s still an appetite for cars like the Maloo R8 even in Oz, isn’t there?
And while people flock to Chrysler and Ford showrooms, GM is slashing jobs…
2) As for policemen who violate traffic laws and common sense in their pursuit of traffic-ticket revenue...well, I almost killed one a few months ago. The officer in question was an Independence, MO motorcycle cop on traffic enforcement duty, who had stashed himself in a shadowed, poorly-lit parking lot just off heavily-traveled Route 291 in eastern Independence. It was after dark, and the parking lot was about 10 feet below the highway. I’d just been passed by a speeding SUV, which was doing at least 15 mph over the 45mph speed limit, when the motorcycle cop - going after the SUV - shot up the ramp and out onto the highway. He didn’t turn on his headlights or flashers until just as he entered the highway...barely a car length ahead of me. I have no idea how I missed him, except that I took a good six month’s worth of wear off my brake pads and tires when I slammed on the brakes to avoid a collision. And the cop actually gave me a dirty look as he shot off in pursuit of his quarry.
I’m probably lucky he didn’t decide to pull me over instead…
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I’ve been sporting wood for a Holden Ute in the USA for years. But alas, the corporate giants at GM feel the Ute is too wacky for the US market. They would rather we have something practical like a Hummer H1.
Cheers