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HIGH AND DRY

My Bondi Junction compound is safe even if subject to fourteen metres of Goreflood. Double Bay refugees are warned to stay away; local militias have little tolerance for the soggy.

Posted by Tim B. on 03/20/2007 at 10:24 AM
  1. “Soggies in the wire!”

    Posted by mojo on 2007 03 20 at 10:30 AM • permalink

  2. The Korean restaurants in Campsie are safe too according to the map

    And so is the Catmeat Sheikh’s mosque

    Posted by aussiemagpie on 2007 03 20 at 10:38 AM • permalink

  3. And you call yourself an evil capitalist conservative!

    You shouldn’t be sitting on your hill snickering, you should be tracking down every idiot who ever bought a carbon credit and getting them to invest in your Uphill Marina, Ltd., project…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 03 20 at 10:39 AM • permalink

  4. Damn it, even a 14+ m Goreflood doesn’t bring the beach significantly closer to my location.  So much for selling the house as oceanfront property.

    Sort of OT:  Manufacturing a Toyota Pious torments Mother Gaia more than building a Hummer

    Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 03 20 at 10:49 AM • permalink

  5. Crap!

    Even a 14 meter rise won’t clean out the sewer that is Washington D.C.

    Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2007 03 20 at 11:44 AM • permalink

  6. But…but…but… Aren’t the sea levels supposed to rise 100 meters by the end of the century?

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 03 20 at 12:20 PM • permalink

  7. It won’t even get rid of Orlando, though Miami will need more boats.

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 03 20 at 12:20 PM • permalink

  8. Not totally O/T - one of the regulars round these parts is headline news at NRO.

    Posted by Don Charleone on 2007 03 20 at 01:05 PM • permalink

  9. Geesh, I need a good 20m before I have to put on my waders. Keep driving those cars, folks!

    Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2007 03 20 at 03:10 PM • permalink

  10. Totally lost the East Village in Manhattan, and much of Greenwich Village. No more performance artists then - assuming they’ll just stand still as the waters slowly close over their heads, which I’m sure they can get a grant for.

    Posted by rick mcginnis on 2007 03 20 at 03:16 PM • permalink

  11. #10 At least my taxes would go towards some good cause.

    Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2007 03 20 at 03:55 PM • permalink

  12. Since my Hills District compound stands at 94 metres above sea level, I say bring on that Gore Flood (I always wanted a waterfront property).

    Posted by Bonmot on 2007 03 20 at 04:20 PM • permalink

  13. Where is StopContinentalDrift anyway?  MIA the same time as Paco.  Coincidence?  Hmm.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 03 20 at 04:43 PM • permalink

  14. SOD OFF, SWAMPY™

    Posted by ausdiplomad on 2007 03 20 at 05:06 PM • permalink

  15. Shoot.  I won’t even notice 14 meters.  Gonna take 260 years at the moonbat approved 100m/century rate before I have any sea front property. :(

    Posted by fclark on 2007 03 20 at 05:22 PM • permalink

  16. Baby I live in Ohio.  The ocean could rise 100 meters and it wouldn’t touch me.  Since that’s the case, I want to burn Global Warming brand gasoline in my 1970 Monte Carlo at the 1972 rate of 28 cents a gallon.  As an American, I think it’s my god given right.

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 03 20 at 05:22 PM • permalink

  17. Bellevue Hill (the posh suburb next to Bondi Junction) is also safe, but my view of the Harbour (that which all Syneysiders crave)  will become even better after the Flood.

    If I may paraphrase and localise a famous Clash lyric:

    “Sydney is drowning so I’ll live by the Harbour.”

    Posted by Toryhere2 on 2007 03 20 at 05:29 PM • permalink

  18. #16
    Please do, because I’m pretty keen on getting a   new ride for the daily commute.

    Posted by lotocoti on 2007 03 20 at 06:07 PM • permalink

  19. 1st: We need to form an international emergency committee to develop the protocol for developing the plan to develop the ability to cover all our polar ice sheets under sufficient styrofoam to insulate them against meltage.

    2nd: We need to form another international emergency committee to develop the protocol for developing the plan to develop the ability to build sufficient refrigeration at each earth pole and over each major glacier sufficient to counter any and all warmenizing.

    3rd: We need to form another international emergency committee to develop the protocol for developing the plan to develop the ability to build really really big sponges sufficient to soak up any excess oceanage.

    To ensure that these international emergency committees develop the protocol for developing the plan to develop the ability to work in a sufficiently cooperative manner, we need to form another international emergency committee to develop the protocol for developing the plan for developing a new global governance scam…I mean, scheme.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 03 20 at 06:16 PM • permalink

  20. I have to say I’m rather disappointed with the resulting carnage from a 14 meter rise in Gore briny. For some reason I was envisioning something like “Waterworld”, maybe if it arrived tsunami like it might meet my media hyped expectations.

    Posted by alien kiwi on 2007 03 20 at 06:39 PM • permalink

  21. Make up your bloody minds.

    100m rise would mean beachfront acreage for me, I’d be rich, RICH I tell you. Fourteen metres would just be a nuisance and flood the town. No biggie.

    Millimetres? Yawn.

    Posted by kae on 2007 03 20 at 06:55 PM • permalink

  22. Fwew!  I was so worried about ya Tim.

    Posted by aaron_ on 2007 03 20 at 07:10 PM • permalink

  23. Andrea, you gotta admit, Florida could use a good bath.

    Posted by aaron_ on 2007 03 20 at 07:12 PM • permalink

  24. I’ve heard great things about Miami, but still.

    Posted by aaron_ on 2007 03 20 at 07:14 PM • permalink

  25. Loosely related (well, it’s got an environmental theme): “Making bears into humans has to stop as soon as possible”

    You see, some of our tender-hearted animal activists would rather see popular baby polar bear Knut killed instead of raised on a bottle after being rejected by his mother.

    Right on, guys.

    On topic, I live in one of those reclaimed swamps wetlands. Will have to convert the house to a yellow submarine way before the century’s out.

    Posted by Dminor on 2007 03 20 at 07:26 PM • permalink

  26. Tim, what has happened to the ‘Jungo’? You can’t park anywhere, parking on the street costs more than Causeway Bay (the chief shopping district) in HK, Westfield has attracted Double-Bay-ites and other chattering classes like moths to a flame, or in this case yuppies to a Ralph Lauren shop. The only decent pub left if the Nelson.

    Be smug with your impending dryness Tim, the Junction is losing its charm.

    Posted by Nic on 2007 03 20 at 07:41 PM • permalink

  27. Bondi Junction? You hippy!

    Posted by TimT on 2007 03 20 at 07:42 PM • permalink

  28. Those greenies in Marrickville will have to learn to swim. In my part of Sydney, however, I look forward to a shorter walk to the banks of the Georges River.

    Posted by Angela Bell on 2007 03 20 at 07:44 PM • permalink

  29. “Making bears into humans has to stop as soon as possible”

    Well, of course the bear has to die. Don’t you see? He’s a traitor to the animal world.

    Next they’ll ban pets, because domesticated animals are an abomination. Soon people and animals will have absolutely no contact with each other, humanity will lose touch with the natural world, and one day will notice all this… this stuff all over the place, growing wild and chaotic, and the diktat will go out: clear off the vermin that is “nature” from the earth, and pave it with nice, antiseptic plastic.

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 03 20 at 07:46 PM • permalink

  30. When you look at the map you realise it is just a computer adding blue to all of those places near the sea that are less then 14 metres above it.  What it doesn’t show is the impact on rivers and thus further inland areas.  There are many river systems that would create lakes with a 14 metre rise.  In addition a 14 metre rise on average fails to register the impact of “king tides” etc.  Not that its ever going to happen but if proper examination of a 14 metre rise were done it would make Al Gore and his people look like the cartoon figures they really are as they quote these ridiculous figures.

    Posted by allan on 2007 03 20 at 07:58 PM • permalink

  31. Here in Ashfield, the sluggish creek that’s called Cook’s River will turn into a picturesque bay - and the flooding of the airport means no more aircraft noise!

    Posted by David Morgan on 2007 03 20 at 08:12 PM • permalink

  32. Tim, this is too weird. Bondi Junction?
    I’m there as well…

    Let’s go on a date!!!

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 03 20 at 08:13 PM • permalink

  33. Tim B, let’s catch up and meet. Don’;t wear your Puffy white prirate shirt!!

    Nic, how could you knock Ralph Lauren? I love their handbags…

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 03 20 at 08:16 PM • permalink

  34. #25

    there’s also this:

    Animal rights activist Frank Albrecht told Germany’s Bild newspaper: “Hand-rearing a polar bear is not appropriate and is a serious violation of animal rights.

    “In fact, the cub should have been killed,” he said.

    Posted by Nic on 2007 03 20 at 08:19 PM • permalink

  35. 1.6i8.

    Ok ok, I like RL too. Change it to shops selling puppy/baby chinos

    Posted by Nic on 2007 03 20 at 08:20 PM • permalink

  36. lol. nic….

    p.s. They had a great sale on this week. I even bought a DKNY bag.

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 03 20 at 08:23 PM • permalink

  37. Damn it all! How many forests do I have to burn down to get some waterfront?

    Posted by Dave S. on 2007 03 20 at 08:25 PM • permalink

  38. p.s. Margo’s maid is my friend and I would like to clarify I’m not a lesbian. I just enjoy reading Margo’s comments and think Margo is a great contributer here.

    p.s. I would like to let everyone know this is so weird I like Tim tam blairman very much and think it’s funny he is in the same area.

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 03 20 at 08:25 PM • permalink

  39. oh, and Tim B, one of my Aunty’s worked on the same paper as you are now.. too funny!!

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 03 20 at 08:26 PM • permalink

  40. 37—- Dave S, don’t worry, David Hicks has the same problem as well.

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 03 20 at 08:28 PM • permalink

  41. Balmain is largely safe too, which is a shame because if any part of Sydney deserves drowning it is Balmain.

    Posted by Contrail on 2007 03 20 at 08:29 PM • permalink

  42. My brother lives there. Good bars.

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 03 20 at 08:33 PM • permalink

  43. Sydney has survived far worse - back in 1980 giant cicadas ate Five Dock.

    Posted by David Morgan on 2007 03 20 at 08:34 PM • permalink

  44. Exchange hotel Balmain is good for a cocktail or two.

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 03 20 at 08:35 PM • permalink

  45. 1.618,

    Your brother is in gaol?

    Posted by Nic on 2007 03 20 at 08:37 PM • permalink

  46. No, he owns a house in Balmain. He flys.

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 03 20 at 08:40 PM • permalink

  47. Girls, he’s single and a great bloke.

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 03 20 at 08:41 PM • permalink

  48. nic.. Bars or pubs, sorry for the confusion.
    No he’s a yuppy he loves FCUK, ben sherman etc..

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 03 20 at 08:42 PM • permalink

  49. Can anybody explain why the lakes not connected to the sea also increase in level?  This could solve all Perth’s water problems!

    Posted by Razor on 2007 03 20 at 08:46 PM • permalink

  50. 49/cause…Climate surprises Could spring from changes in River Flow, ice sheets and sea Ice?

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 03 20 at 08:54 PM • permalink

  51. OT but worthy… Our Education, Their Politics

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 03 20 at 09:06 PM • permalink

  52. An artist’s impression of Tim’s place following global warming

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 03 20 at 09:16 PM • permalink

  53. You’ve got a compound?  Man.  I’ve always wanted a compound.  This monopound simply won’t do.

    Posted by Hucbald on 2007 03 20 at 09:28 PM • permalink

  54. If only we had the technology to build some kind of large physical structures that a dutch boy could stick his finger in to save people from this impending wetness.

    Posted by Col. Milquetoast on 2007 03 20 at 11:22 PM • permalink

  55. Col.—Doesn’t work anymore.  The last time the Dutch Boy tried it Rosie O’Donnell broke his nose…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 03 20 at 11:29 PM • permalink

  56. How come the map doesn’t provide for negative numbers ?

    We need to be able to account for sea levels receding as a result of the global cooling that occurs whenever Al Gore pays a visit.  Handy for the next ice age too which we’ll get soon if Al keeps on touring.

    Posted by Ubique on 2007 03 20 at 11:47 PM • permalink

  57. #56 If it did negative numbers, someone (not me) could work out the sea level producing the longest total coastline, so that as many people as possible could have waterfronts.

    I can start off the optimisation process: It’s somewhere between no water at all (zero coastline) and water all the way up to the top of Mt Everest (also zero coastline).

    Posted by Brett_McS on 2007 03 21 at 12:36 AM • permalink

  58. Whacko the diddlio, I’m going to have Moreton Bay at the bottom of my front yard!

    No more fuming in peak hour traffic, I’ll be able to shoot straight over the bay in my V8 cetacean.

    Hopefully there’ll be a population cull in force by then as well, so I can snipe at surfies lolling around my letterbox.

    Posted by Habib on 2007 03 21 at 12:43 AM • permalink

  59. The flood map site ignores the dike protection in the Netherlands; any non-zero rise wipes out half the country according to the site.

    Posted by 2dogs on 2007 03 21 at 01:43 AM • permalink

  60. Oops, bad link- 7 metres would be just peachy; I could get to Ballymore without swimming, but could toddle off to the pub in a pedalo, and do a Freddy on the way home.

    About the only drawback I can see is the sort of neighbours that’re likely to move in to the area.

    Posted by Habib on 2007 03 21 at 01:56 AM • permalink

  61. O/T again (sorry)
    But the green left weekly website has adds on it by the Eeeevil Google multinational. Look aboyt 1/2 way down the page on the left hand side.
    One of those adds is a position. In Iraq. as a Geologist. With Shell oil.

    Bwahahahahah, tools.


    Hope the link is still good.

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 03 21 at 02:24 AM • permalink

  62. OT ALERT
    sky news surrender in iraq poll

    vote early vote often

    http://www.skynews.com.au/index.asp

    Posted by Astonished on 2007 03 21 at 05:17 AM • permalink

  63. #62 - 55% voting No at the moment. Keep up the good work, chaps - hold the line!

    Posted by Don Charleone on 2007 03 21 at 05:35 AM • permalink

  64. I’ve just been unfortunate enough to watch George Negus and a couple of Climate Fascists on Dateline. The man is getting more and more loopy as he gets older.

    One presumes that he was always a big lefty. It wasn’t obvious when he was on 60 Minutes. As the old saying goes, though, the older we get the more like ourselves we become.

    Posted by Jack Lacton on 2007 03 21 at 06:25 AM • permalink

  65. Work faster you buggers, it’s 50:50.

    MarkL
    canberra

    Posted by MarkL on 2007 03 21 at 06:32 AM • permalink

  66. cool- at 9 metres i’m absolute beachfront instead of two blocks back. too bad I’m not a believer.

    (at 10 metres it’s arktime)

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 03 21 at 07:01 AM • permalink

  67. The surrender monkeys are surging; it’s 47:53. 

    Not to worry: “my centre is giving way, my right is in retreat; situation excellent. I shall attack.” (Marshal Foch, Battle of the Marne 1914).

    Fix bayonets.

    Posted by Ubique on 2007 03 21 at 07:37 AM • permalink

  68. OT but still globally warmed -
    Richard Branson’s Virgin Atlantic airlines is rumoured to be looking a major fleet review to fit with the great man’s cleaner, greener business ethic. Out of favour are the four-engine Airbus A380 super jumbo and its smaller sister, the A340-600. In their place the rumours say Virgin Atlantic will buy two-engine Boeing 777s and 787s. If it comes to pass, Kyoto signatories France and Germany will be losing billions of dollars of business to the non-signing US - on environmental grounds. Ironic.

    Posted by Contrail on 2007 03 21 at 08:11 AM • permalink

  69. The surrender monkeys are surging; it’s 47:53

    Flipped now—54% No / 46% Yes.

    Posted by Achillea on 2007 03 21 at 12:32 PM • permalink

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