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HICKS CONVICTED

David “Puffy D” Hicks is looking at seven years:

David Hicks will be home within two months and has agreed to testify against other terrorist suspects.

He was formally convicted last night of providing material support to terrorism and will receive a maximum of seven years in jail as part of a plea deal agreed this week.

Meanwhile, Dave’s dad is upset about his kid stacking on the pounds:

Prisoners in Guantanamo Bay are offered a diet of up to 5000 calories a day, 2 1⁄2 times the recommended daily intake for Americans.

David Hicks’ father, Terry, has criticised the food his son has been given while in captivity.

Yeah. There was too much of it. That must be why Hicks described Guantanamo Bay as "like a Nazi concentration camp"; everyone remembers those morbidly obese prisoners waddling out of Dachau in 1945. Why, some of the mass graves at Auschwitz were only big enough for one person.

This week’s column is Dave-related.

Posted by Tim B. on 03/30/2007 at 12:09 PM
  1. It’s torture, I tells ya, torture; forcing these terrorists to eat lots of food.  Next thing ya know, there’ll be comfy chairs and soft cushions.  Does Chimpy McHilterburton’s evil know no bounds?

    Posted by rbj1 on 2007 03 30 at 12:16 PM • permalink

  2. Tim, I looked through your recent posts and didn’t see any mention of the outing of Sheik Yer’mami’s name and address by reporter
    Gavin King, story here. Do you know anything about this?
    Thanx

    h/t LGF

    Posted by Hellbilly on 2007 03 30 at 12:31 PM • permalink

  3. "Babbling wordspout”!  Hah!  God, I love the English language!

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 03 30 at 12:33 PM • permalink

  4. Great column. LOL!

    Posted by C.L. on 2007 03 30 at 12:34 PM • permalink

  5. So he’s agreed to rat out the other jihadis, has he?
    Watch out during the next prison riot, Davie.

    Posted by Merlin on 2007 03 30 at 12:56 PM • permalink

  6. Too bad that we’ll have to wait 12 months for Big Dave’s self-discrediting media romp.

    Posted by AussieJim on 2007 03 30 at 01:09 PM • permalink

  7. I take great exception to this phrase, Tim:

    We the undersigned are revolted and upset and, to be brutally honest, now drooling with hunger like old labradors.

    Labradors are great dogs, and I wouldn’t sully the breed by comparing lefties to them, even if only in physical appearance. 

    I suggest updating your column to “...now drooling with hunger like old poodles.

    That’s much more fitting anim, doncha think?  :-D

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 03 30 at 01:13 PM • permalink

  8. "animal”, not “anim”......PIMF!  <smacks forehead in exasperation>

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 03 30 at 01:14 PM • permalink

  9. Having owned several labradors, I’ll attest that the mention of food is usually sufficient to peak their interest. They’re a rare combination of intelligence, personality, loyalty, humor and greed.

    Having said that, can anyone explain how the food at Gitmo can be criticized? Was Dawood being force fed? Are they going to have a sequel to “Super size me” starring this terrorist?
    Good way to piss off a liberal; note that the people who would watch such trash documenteries don’t eat at McDonalds, and the people that do don’t watch such trash.

    How do I know? My sister-in-law is still pissed off at me.

    Posted by Blue Hen on 2007 03 30 at 01:22 PM • permalink

  10. For those that haven’t seen it here is a link (Hicks’ charge sheet etc) to the Military Commissions’ website at Department of Defense.

    Posted by CO² max on 2007 03 30 at 01:24 PM • permalink

  11. Seven years!!Seven f*ucking years!!! You have got to be kidding me.Fat boy should thank his lucky stars that he appeared before a military court and not an American civilian court.Hell, you can get more time for growing small quantities of pot in most states in the U.S. Seven years!! greene, ‘walks away shaking his head and muttering to himself.

    Posted by greene on 2007 03 30 at 01:24 PM • permalink

  12. Damn it! Yank his ass now and toss it on a plane. Get this piece of jihadi shit, on his home countries dole.

    Then when he makes millions, telling and selling his story, OZ can capture all the profits. Then send him to a Bombay prison hell hole, where David becomes Davina.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 03 30 at 01:38 PM • permalink

  13. ...everyone remembers those morbidly obese prisoners waddling out of Dachau in 1945. Why, some of the mass graves at Auschwitz were only big enough for one person.

    Why are you dragging Rosie O’Donnell into this?

    Posted by Damian P. on 2007 03 30 at 01:40 PM • permalink

  14. Nobody ever expects “...the dreaded bernaise sauce treatment?”

    Posted by 68W40 on 2007 03 30 at 01:53 PM • permalink

  15. "They’re starving David! He’s pale, emaciated and hollow-cheeked! The bastards!"

    “Actually, he’s tanned and fat.”

    “That’s because they’ve stuffed great big gobs of food down his throat in a picnic-like atmosphere! The bastards!"

    Y’know, up until about five years ago, I cared what the world thought of us. I really did. Then I realized that we’ll be hated no matter what we do. We’re always wrong. Now let me ask a question of any passing leftard troll - if you think the U.S. is arrogant now, what do you think we’ll be like as more and more of us cease to give a fuck about can’t-please-’em-for-trying world opinion? Think about it.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2007 03 30 at 01:58 PM • permalink

  16. This reminds me of a complaint I read from a Japanese ex-POW. He said the Americans treated them well, except they got too much meat and cigarettes.

    Has any nation treated its POWs better? Isn’t that a pretty good rule of thumb as to a nation’s basic decency? And yet look at the slander we get. We treat our prisoners well, our guys get tortured, and who gets condemned?

    I’m so sick of this.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2007 03 30 at 02:04 PM • permalink

  17. Hmmmm.

    as more and more of us cease to give a fuck about can’t-please-’em-for-trying world opinion?

    I know I’ve passed the point of no return on that a long time ago.

    Now whenever people point out how much America is hated I just reply “Why should I give a rat’s ass?”.

    *shrug* quote of the day really.

    Posted by memomachine on 2007 03 30 at 02:08 PM • permalink

  18. Michael Moore should do a documentary on the one subject he is an expert on, namely over-eating.

    Posted by Rob Read on 2007 03 30 at 02:09 PM • permalink

  19. I recall an anecdote from World War II about an area in the US that hosted at least one army camp, and two POW camps. A local pig farmer offered to haul trash from the messhalls daily. Presumably he was feeding his stock with discarded food. He angrily demanded that he be allowed to stop visitng the POW camps, as they were throwing away nothing of use, even though the cooking arrangements and basic food provided was identical to all three camps. German POWs received a larger and better diet there then they did as serving soldiers of the Reich.

    As David S said, this matters naught to those who wish only to blame the US. World opinion will not magically change if every soldier in Iraq is withdrawn or dies, or if Gitmo is closed, or if a Democrat is elected President. Clinton needed riot police protection when he visited Athens. Was that because of Bush, Dawood, Iraq or Haliburton? Such hatred is truly blind to reason, incumbent or policy.

    Posted by Blue Hen on 2007 03 30 at 02:17 PM • permalink

  20. He got 7 years?!!! Can’t believe it. I surely thought the Democratic Hate America Congress would certainly have given him the Congressional Medal of Honor and lifelong free membership in the Democratic Party.

    Posted by stats on 2007 03 30 at 02:21 PM • permalink

  21. #8 -

    Congratuations, you’ve qualified for the special minion discount on a brand-spankin’-new Preview Automator for Correct Orthogaphy.

    Posted by Achillea on 2007 03 30 at 02:22 PM • permalink

  22. has agreed to testify against other terrorist suspects.

    I think someone just qualified for a jihadi death sentence. I wonder what Shannon and the others will have to say when that sentence is carried out? Oh, yeah: “I blame Howard/Bush.”

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 03 30 at 03:29 PM • permalink

  23. Prisoners in Guantanamo Bay are offered a diet of up to 5000 calories a day, 2 1⁄2 times the recommended daily intake for Americans.

    Holee. Shiite.

    I get about 1500 calories a day. In a few weeks, that’ll drop to 1400.

    Of course, I’ve lost 100 lbs in the last to years, and I mean to do this, so…

    Posted by Rob Crawford on 2007 03 30 at 03:51 PM • permalink

  24. Puffy D?  Would he sing:

    Girls they, girls they love me
    I’m the overweight Talib Puffy D!

    ?

    Posted by Major John on 2007 03 30 at 04:04 PM • permalink

  25. Funny thing occurred to me. Looking back at all of America’s wars, it seems the enemy that treated our POW’s the best was - the Germans.

    (SS excepted, of course.)

    Just wanted to mention that so PW doesn’t think we pick on his folks all the time.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2007 03 30 at 04:16 PM • permalink

  26. I got a copy of that cookbook.  Yummy.

    Posted by rabidfox on 2007 03 30 at 04:27 PM • permalink

  27. Labor leader Rudd - a good man, a kind man, a Hicks man - has barracked for you ceaselessly.

    Why do I keep seeing Dennis Hopper speaking this line?

    Posted by mojo on 2007 03 30 at 04:30 PM • permalink

  28. Huh.  I was going to suggest 7-10 years, but that was before I knew that the previous 5 wouldn’t be counted.  I think they’ll find a way to trim it down below 5 years (in addition to the previous 5).

    Posted by aaron_ on 2007 03 30 at 05:29 PM • permalink

  29. Taking the piss, mocking good sincere people is so typical of the Right.
    Mr. B., you have no compassion.

    Posted by chrisgo on 2007 03 30 at 06:48 PM • permalink

  30. Can Puffy Dawood keep it up for 30 hours? (By “it”, I mean a 30-hour fork session.)

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 03 30 at 06:57 PM • permalink

  31. German POWs received a larger and better diet there then they did as serving soldiers of the Reich.

    I remember reading a German POW’s account of his imprisonment. Not only was he afforded superb care, he ate on a daily basis food that hadn’t been seen inside Germany in years. As I recall, this fellow never went back. In fact, very few of the German and Italian prisoners who were kept in stateside camps desired repatriation.

    I agree about the seven years. Heck, Taliban Johnny Walker Lindh got 20 years in a civilian court (’course that was back when the wounds were still fresh). And you can count me among those who could give a shit less about world opinion. I remember the heady days of Camelot when King Jack and Queen Jackie wowed ‘em over in Europe. That old buzzard De Gaulle was utterly charmed by the beautiful Mrs. Kennedy and her perfectly accented French. Didn’t make a tinker’s damn worth of difference in the formal and very strained relationship between the two nations. De Gaulle despised us just as much as he ever did.

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 03 30 at 07:16 PM • permalink

  32. Why wouldn’t Little Davie pack on the pork? It runs in the family.Take a look at Daddy Hicks,he didn’t spend any time in the Gitmo Gulag but he’s a fat little fuck too.Poor Davie has obviously inherited more than just a stupidity gene from his old man.

    Posted by Lew on 2007 03 30 at 08:18 PM • permalink

  33. Prisoners in Guantanamo Bay are offered a diet of up to 5000 calories a day, 2 1⁄2 times the recommended daily intake for Americans. David Hicks’ father, Terry, has criticised the food his son has been given while in captivity.

    Oh for Christ’s sake. Next thing Terry will be complaining about his own weight gain from all that rich food he had to endure during his jaunts around the world while “campaigning” for his son - “The hotels, the luxury hotels, business-class air travel and those business jets - when will it the torment end?” Dickhead.

    Posted by Contrail on 2007 03 30 at 08:34 PM • permalink

  34. This just in…

    He got nine months.  Just about enough time to work off those unsightly pounds in time for the Christmas Eid holidays

    Posted by Holden McGroyn on 2007 03 30 at 08:44 PM • permalink

  35. Strange that in all the hue and cry of ‘he only pleaded guilty to get out of Gitmo’ there has been no mention of him rennouncing Islam, having sworn the truth on a bible.

    Shows he may be serious.

    Posted by Nic on 2007 03 30 at 09:08 PM • permalink

  36. #34

    Nine months, seven to be served in Australia.

    Posted by kae on 2007 03 30 at 09:34 PM • permalink

  37. Bob Brown used the comparison with the gulags since had he followed Hick’s Nazi concentration camp comparisons, he would have lost all his Jewish voters.The gulags and concentration camps must be placed on the same level as Gitmo or Abu Ghraib!
    The liberals have now completely lost their ability to distinguish between right and wrong, truth and lies, good and evil, etc. Indeed they no longer see any differences.
    rapists are no longer different from their victims and must be excused and their victims blamed for incitement.
    Traitors to Australia like Hicks must be praised and our own soldiers condemned for defending us.
    Saddam Hussien who slaughtered the Kurds and marsh Arabs, is no different from George Bush administration.
    Is this nihilism a call for levelling the playing field. By praising what is so evidently wrong and attacking what is right, are they trying to prove that morality is non existent?
    does this lead to the conclusion that there is no cause worth fighting for, no cause worth endorsement and therefore all conflicts are worthless pursuits which are a hindrance to “world peace”?
    Hollywood makes films equating the victims of terrorists to the killers themselves.
    Films that elevate homosexual relationships to the same level as those that produce the next generation.
    we are told by the BBC that one man’s terrorist is another’s freedom fighter and they won’t use the term even to describe those who blow up Brits on the tube.
    Now we understand why Hicks has become their darling. He must be uplifted to the same level as those who strive to defend our country from murder and mayhem.
    How did all this ever come about?

    Posted by davo on 2007 03 30 at 09:36 PM • permalink

  38. Mohammad Dawood, and his old man Terry, are a despicable grubby lot. His girlfriend and his daughters are well rid of him and his family. They really did dodge a bullet there.

    Posted by BJM on 2007 03 30 at 10:33 PM • permalink

  39. David Hicks’ father, Terry, has criticised the food his son has been given while in captivity.

    Damn. Now where’d that tiny violin go?

    Posted by Tungsten Monk on 2007 03 30 at 10:43 PM • permalink

  40. Has anyone noticed the hilarity of some of the comments under Tim’s article on the Daily Tele site?

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 03 31 at 12:05 AM • permalink

  41. #15, You have a valid point. Long ago I thought that Israel too should cease worrying about the world’s opinion and do what it needs to do.

    Self-respect for doing the right thing aside, people seldom seem to respect generosity - wonder if that’s a modern phenomenon or what?

    Cheers.

    Posted by carpefraise on 2007 03 31 at 05:57 AM • permalink

  42. I saw The Road To Guantanamo at the Somerville last night. A friend sent me a free ticket with a note: “I will welcome your expert opinion.” This friend’s politics I would describe as soft left; after our conversation tomorrow, we may not be friends any more.
    For those who haven’t (or won’t) see it, a quote from the Somerville’s blurb: This is a straightforward account of the Tipton Three and their stories of human rights violations, depraved humiliation and torture at the hands of their American captors. Hmmm. True, they do wind up in Gitmo, and it was no holiday camp. But it was their own - I won’t call it naivety, I’ll call it plain fucking stupidity that led them to Afghanistan. They were idiots abroad, and when the shit hit the fan, they were standing directly in front.
    Were they tortured? Yes. But only after they’d been conned by fellow Muslims who led them into Afghanistan on the pretext of ‘helping’ war victims. Whoo boy, turns out the local definition of helping is grabbing a gun and joining the fight against the Northern Alliance. Colour me surprised.
    The movie ends with a brief reference to the fourth of the group, who disappeared when their group came under attack. He has never been seen again, and I didn’t get the impression that they were losing sleep over that. But the most outrageous element to the story is the near-total exclusion of the events of September 11. That horrible day is worth only a couple of passing references; ignoring it, the film floats in a vacuum. Salvador Dali couldn’t create a more surreal picture.
    Rant over.

    Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 03 31 at 07:42 AM • permalink

  43. Taking the piss, mocking good sincere people is so typical of the Right.
    Mr. B., you have no compassion.
    Posted by chrisgo on 2007 03 30 at 06:48 PM

    Yeah, I noticed the shot at Port Adelaide Football Club in the column too.

    Hey, chrisgo has got the head tilt thing working. you go chrisgo!

    Posted by paulris on 2007 03 31 at 10:33 AM • permalink

  44. Has anyone noticed the hilarity of some of the comments under Tim’s article on the Daily Tele site?

    Has anyone noticed the hilarity of the last signatory under Tim’s article on the Daily Tele site?

    Only a Collingwood supporter could be so cruel.

    (snicker)

    Posted by JAFA on 2007 03 31 at 03:28 PM • permalink

  45. here’s a story from LGF showing that we ignore the kind of people Dawood was in bed with at our peril, it is barbarity on a unbelievable dimension.
    I heard the same story from a Bosnian Serb refugee in Brisbane after the Bosnian conflict.
    These are the brave insurgeants talked about on our BBC, abc sbs ETC who struggle against American iimperialism!
    The West’s lack of interest in the fate of the Assyrians is disgusting, as you can read in this brilliant article by Ed West in the Catholic Herald. Here is how the piece starts:

    “When they cook a dish in the Middle East, it is traditional to put the meat on top of the rice when they serve it. They kidnapped a woman’s baby in Baghdad, a toddler, and because the mother was unable to pay the ransom, they returned her child – beheaded, roasted and served on a mound of rice.

    “The infant’s crime was to be an Assyrian, but this story, reported by the Barnabus Fund, went unnoticed in the West, like so many other horrific accounts of Christian persecution in Iraq. Since the invasion of Iraq, Muslim militants have bombed 28 churches and murdered hundreds of Christians. Last October, Islamists beheaded a priest in Mosul in revenge for the Pope’s remarks about Islam at Regensburg.”

    Posted by davo on 2007 03 31 at 07:15 PM • permalink

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