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HEADINGLEY 1981 TO BE AVENGED!

Australia has set England a target of 129 runs. Could win this.

UPDATE. Maybe not. England currently 0/32.

UPDATE II. Maybe! Warne’s first ball claims Trescothick. England 1/32.

UPDATE III. Maybe maybe! Warne has Vaughan caught for 0. England 2/36; Warne 2/0.

UPDATE III. Maybe not. England now 2/56, and looking good.

UPDATE IV. Maybe, again! Warne gets Strauss caught at slip; England 3/57.

UPDATE V. Oh my. Ian Bell out for 3, caught Kasprowitz, bowled Lee, hooking like a lunatic. England 4/57.

UPDATE VI. Pietersen is caught behind off Lee just when England seemed safe. England 5/103. And now Jones (G) is playing and missing. Still, you’d back England at this point.

UPDATE VII. Flintoff bowled by Lee. England 6/111. Eighteen runs to win. (Earlier, Lee sent down a 96 mph delivery; he’s at his quickest.)

UPDATE VIII. Excuse me while I undergo cardiac arrest. (Thumps chest.) OK, alive again. Jones caught by Kasprowitz off Lee. England needing 13 with three wickets remaining.

UPDATE IX. England needing only eight to win. Lee talking to Ponting; first delivery to Hoggart a 90.9 mph bouncer.

UPDATE X. Four to Hoggart off a Lee full-toss. Four more required for an English win. England players celebrating already. Two more to England via a Hoggart leg-glace; only two more for victory.

UPDATE XI. Warne to Giles. First ball played to leg gully; second pushed defensively to off; third a hard hit (potentially match-winning) blocked by Katich; fourth played at and missed; fifth hit through the onside for the win.

UPDATE XII. Damn.

Posted by Tim B. on 08/28/2005 at 09:21 AM

  1. 116 for 7….surely not

    Posted by bleary on 2005 08 28 at 01:11 PM • permalink

  2. Lee no-balled ! Aussies ripped’. 7-119. Waaarneeyyy…!

    Posted by JAFA on 2005 08 28 at 01:16 PM • permalink

  3. 8 to win - bowl underarm !

    Posted by JAFA on 2005 08 28 at 01:21 PM • permalink

  4. Ponting smiles ruefully….

    Posted by JAFA on 2005 08 28 at 01:29 PM • permalink

  5. Well done England. Nearly gotchas…

    Posted by JAFA on 2005 08 28 at 01:30 PM • permalink

  6. Is this that “crocket” game you guys are always going on about?

    Posted by Jim Treacher on 2005 08 28 at 01:34 PM • permalink

  7. Jim, crocket - an architectural ornament of curved foliage used at the edge of a spire or gable.

    Test cricket - a 5 day ball game which can build to a final hour of heart-attack proportions.

    Posted by JAFA on 2005 08 28 at 01:47 PM • permalink

  8. Bugger.

    Posted by Scott W on 2005 08 28 at 03:29 PM • permalink

  9. Test cricket - a 5 day ball game which can build to a final hour of heart-attack proportions.

    What, at the end they all chug bacon grease?

    Posted by Jim Treacher on 2005 08 28 at 04:11 PM • permalink

  10. Whenever Tim starts going on about Cricket I feel like that dog in the Gary Larson comic.

    “Blah, blah, blah, Ginger, blah, blah blah.

    Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2005 08 28 at 04:44 PM • permalink

  11. We’ll get’em in the fifth! Don’t you worry about that! PLEASE let us get’em in the fifth!!

    Posted by Gravelly on 2005 08 28 at 05:13 PM • permalink

  12. How can we possibly win with idiots in white coats giving people out LBW at every fucking opportunity!?

    Posted by murph on 2005 08 28 at 06:13 PM • permalink

  13. Agreed murph.
    Martyn would be fuming after the recent couple of decisions against him.

    Posted by RhikoR on 2005 08 28 at 06:55 PM • permalink

  14. I’d hate to see how bad it would have been if not for Lee and Warnie with both bat and ball (and McGrath with the ball when he has been fit.)  Lee and Warnie are sloggers, not batsmen, yet they’ve shown the rest how it should be done.

    Mind you, it would seem the Australian team has been cursed with bad luck, what with the injuries, missed chances and atrocious umpiring decisions.  If I didn’t know better I’d say the umpires have become sick of Australia winning and are trying to help them loose…

    Posted by corvus on 2005 08 28 at 07:00 PM • permalink

  15. This “cricket” is more confusing than bridge. I bid two no trump!

    Posted by Spectre765 on 2005 08 28 at 08:18 PM • permalink

  16. Judging by the comments, we’re well on the way to becoming whingeing Aussies—the Poms will be SO relieved.

    Posted by Tango12 on 2005 08 28 at 09:31 PM • permalink

  17. here’s another one from the barmy army song book….

    Shane Warne’s Villa
    (To the tune of Tony Christie’s ‘Amarillo’)

    Show me the way to Shane Warne’s Villa
    He’s got his diet pills under his pilla (pillow)
    A dodgy bookie from Manila
    Nursey’s on her mobile phone

    Repeat x3

    La-la lar la-la la-la lar, Fat Git!
    La-la lar la-la la-la lar, Take a bung
    La-la lar la-la la-la lar,
    Warney where’s your mobile phone?

    Posted by vinny on 2005 08 28 at 09:50 PM • permalink

  18. “Jones caught by Kasprowitz off Lee.”?
    “Tinkers to Evers to Chance.”

    Hoggart leg-glace!!??  Zone blitz.
    Leg-gully!!??  Cover 2.
    Hit through the onside!!?? Bond’s shift.

    Actually, we’re just havng fun but you must understand that this stuff makes no sense whatsoever to us Yanks.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2005 08 28 at 10:56 PM • permalink

  19. it dont need to make sense just get into it jimbo.

    Posted by vinny on 2005 08 29 at 12:11 AM • permalink

  20. Take down the Union Jack Tim.

    Posted by noir on 2005 08 29 at 12:44 AM • permalink

  21. Take down the Union Jack Tim.

    Yep.  Fuck’em.

    Posted by murph on 2005 08 29 at 01:58 AM • permalink

  22. Vinny.  There is very little potential to do that here in the Colonies.  I saw some matches when I was in the UK but none while I was in Aus.  Enjoyed what I saw.  Someone tried to explain the game to me while on the train from London to Scotland but to no avail.  Besides, we’re having too much fun pulling you’re legs to stop now!

    Posted by yojimbo on 2005 08 29 at 02:15 AM • permalink

  23. So what happened to the well-established English tradition of being glorious losers? ie when they play magnificently, put up a wonderful fight, but ultimately go down to the better side?

    I remember playing a match in England, where one of the comments after the game to the opposition was, ‘I thought you tried a little too hard to win at times’. Now they’re doing radical new things, like trying to win, with their dodgy substitute fielders etc.

    Still, there’s plenty of time left for them to keep up the tradition, five more days.

    Posted by brucey bonus on 2005 08 29 at 02:50 AM • permalink

  24. Wha… what?

    I’m with yojimbo on this one.

    You’re talking about a sport, right?

    Right?

    Posted by david on 2005 08 29 at 04:23 AM • permalink

  25. jimbo, if it weren’t for that war of independence misunderstanding you lot would still be playing glorious cricket…....and probably dominating the game!!!!

    Posted by vinny on 2005 08 29 at 05:17 AM • permalink

  26. brucey bonus; “I remember playing a match in England”

    are you bruce yardley??

    Posted by vinny on 2005 08 29 at 05:19 AM • permalink

  27. Vinny, no, I’m definitely not Bruce Yardley.

    Posted by brucey bonus on 2005 08 29 at 06:00 AM • permalink

  28. I am

    Posted by murph on 2005 08 29 at 06:46 AM • permalink

  29. Cricket is like vegemite. You have to grow up on it.

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2005 08 29 at 07:28 AM • permalink

  30. Cricket proves the “Theory” of Evolution.
    It evolved into the much better sport of baseball.

    Posted by Veeshir on 2005 08 29 at 08:02 AM • permalink

  31. Somewhat off topic, but I just noticed over at Little Green Footballs that a Saudi cleric has issued a fatwa against football. Could cricket be next?

    Posted by paco on 2005 08 29 at 09:17 AM • permalink

  32. Paco.  I’m sure he is just stating the obvious-that the Oakland Raiders are Haram-that’s all.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2005 08 29 at 10:45 AM • permalink

  33. “Could cricket be next?”

    I think that would make sure the Pakistanis hate the Saudis!

    Posted by Rob Read on 2005 08 29 at 11:30 AM • permalink

  34. It’s a shame Ponting didn’t give Warne the new ball.  Might have been 1/0.

    Posted by blind freddy on 2005 08 29 at 11:22 PM • permalink

    35. Page 1 of 1 pages

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