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HEADLINE OF THE WEEK
News.com.au reports:
Lack of sex blamed for low birth rate
I keep having sex but I’ve only been born once. Am I doing something wrong?
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 06 22 at 10:53 AM • permalink"As much as subsidies and welfare programs are important, sexlessness is also a critical issue in this problem.”
So let me get this straight, the Japanese are using (or considering) subsidies and welfare programs to “solve” the “problem” of a low national birth rate; a low birth rate that is apparently “caused” by a lower than global average rate of sexual relations among its population.
Perhaps the populace has decided that the Japanese homeland is too crowded.
Or they saw Al Gore’s movie, and agree that global population is too high, and are willing to do their share to reduce mankind’s footprint on our globe.
It’s because they have sex standing up, you can’t get preggers like that. Duh!.
Posted by Daniel San on 2006 06 22 at 11:01 AM • permalink(preemptive strike, a la George Bush)
Paco! Please don’t comment that you happen to have a business, perhaps named Paco’s Penetration and Impregnation Service, that can quickly and thoroughly
reamremedy Japan’s problem. And no, I don’t care how many men here you’ve already signed up for the cause.Posted by wronwright on 2006 06 22 at 11:15 AM • permalinkShouldn’t the piece be headlined “Experts Say...”, or does James Taranto have a copyright on it along with “What would we do without experts”?
Posted by andycanuck on 2006 06 22 at 11:43 AM • permalinkHmmmm.
Well I’m ready to fly on over and help out.
Posted by memomachine on 2006 06 22 at 01:33 PM • permalinkHmmmm.
Paco! Please don’t comment that you happen to have a business, perhaps named Paco’s Penetration and Impregnation Service, that can quickly and thoroughly ream remedy Japan’s problem.
Ok now that’s funny!
No what would the tv commerical be like?
rofl.
Posted by memomachine on 2006 06 22 at 01:38 PM • permalinkI keep having sex but I’ve only been born once. Am I doing something wrong?
That depends, richard. Are you alone when you have sex? ;-P
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 06 22 at 02:00 PM • permalink12 anthony27
The men are getting plenty of good sheep-sex. How do we explain this?
Ummm, an increase in the play and singing of the Whiffenpoof Song.
We’re poor little lambs who have lost our way:
Baa! Baa! Baa!
Lord have mercy on such as we:
Baa! Baa! Baa!
20 paco
edible kimonos
It a robe...like a banana you peel it off...lol.
"Japanese people simply aren’t having sex,”
In the association’s survey, 44 per cent of the people who said they were not having much sex felt that having a relationship with the opposite sex was “very tiresome” or “tiresome”.
What the fuck is wrong with these people?
Seriously, small Islands, lots of people...bad news...have they heard of birth control, or tubes tied (either sex), or hey an oldies but goodie...RUBBERS? (although not a favorite of mine, they do serve a purpose). BUT just NOT have sex?
Of course they could always be pulling (excuse) a Bill and Monica.
I wish folks would make up their mind about things. First everybody ran around in circles waving their arms hysterically over an exploding population of homo sapien sapiens which would collapse the sustainability, and all the other -abilities, of the earth’s resources, engendering worldwide starvation and a mass die-off. Personally, that looked like a built in solution to the problem, so I couldn’t figure out what the hoopla was all about.
Now all I hear about is the collapsing of the democratic populations of the world. Wasn’t that the intended result of the hand-waving 30 some-odd years ago?
You mean those predictions might have been, gasp, wrong?
Whomever it was that got the government grant to make the study, and you just know it was a government grant, I want his job.
I wish folks would make up their mind about things. First everybody ran around in circles waving their arms hysterically over an exploding population of homo sapien sapiens which would collapse the sustainability, and all the other -abilities, of the earth’s resources, engendering worldwide starvation and a mass die-off. Personally, that looked like a built in solution to the problem, so I couldn’t figure out what the hoopla was all about.
Now all I hear about is the collapsing of the democratic populations of the world. Wasn’t that the intended result of the hand-waving 30 some-odd years ago?
You mean those predictions might have been, gasp, wrong?
You don’t get it - the hoopla was that there were too many brown-skinned people those the populations that needed reducing, according to the wisdom of the time.
I note that people still mistakenly think that “overpopulation” is somewhat an African problem. Odd, when you consider only 8% of humanity live in Africa. But, I suppose the underlying racism of the anti-population movement is still there - it’s not that there are too many people, just too many black people.
Posted by AlburyShifton on 2006 06 22 at 06:28 PM • permalinkLack of sex blamed for low birth rate
And in other breaking news:
Day follows night.
Pope still Catholic.
Pork chops spurned at bar mitzvah.Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 06 22 at 08:04 PM • permalinkTim - Fred at Rantburg has a cool “Master of the Obvious” graphic he might lend you. ;-p
Posted by Barbara Skolaut on 2006 06 22 at 08:49 PM • permalinkJapanese doing it less than 45 times per year??
Jeez, about 9 years ago a mate of mine scored higher than that on one 10 day cruiseship holiday.
Anyone remember the Fairstar?Posted by Hank Reardon on 2006 06 22 at 08:50 PM • permalinkThe Real JeffS—Of course not. If I want to get jerked off, I have Congress… okay, this imagery is getting very confusing here…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 06 22 at 08:52 PM • permalinkTurning Japanese,
I think I’m turning Japanese
I need to get someTurning Japanese
I think I’m turning Japanese
I need to get somePosted by The (WHMECDM) President on 2006 06 23 at 12:08 AM • permalinkWould anybody get offended if I made a joke about Japanese guys spending too much time in the wrong sushi box.
Maybe they need chopsticks to lift the birthrate?
Posted by The (WHMECDM) President on 2006 06 23 at 12:11 AM • permalinkDrink alcohol responibly advertising campaigns - low birth rates. Coincidence? I think not.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 06 23 at 01:43 AM • permalinkThe (WHMECDM) President
Well the chopsticks could make ideal splints if used imaginatively. That and a couple of lackey bands and viagra eat your heart out.
I tend to blame aniome tenticle porn myself. Having ...erm...heard about that sort of thing.Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2006 06 23 at 02:07 AM • permalink#34 - Legend of The Overfiend, methinks. Pornographic tentacles featured very prominently in one scene.
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 06 23 at 02:50 AM • permalink#35 - in one scene? I remember ..umm.. being told...by someone.. that it was more than one.
Posted by Art Vandelay on 2006 06 23 at 09:07 AM • permalinkIt’s possible anime tentacle porn (I’m given to understand there might be one or two more titles beyond Legend of the Overfiend) has given Japanese women unreasonable expectations about the average
stubby little buggerunfortunate Japanese man…Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 06 23 at 09:56 AM • permalink
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Having recently retiring my secret identity as Onan the hairypalm (got a missus) I can honestly say its not my fault.