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HAWKING DISSES PLANET
Excellent call in comments: “I think more humor columns need to have Stephen Hawking calling the Earth a whore.”
Award winning stuff.
Sheer, unadulterated brilliance.
Gaia, Ares, and Selene finally speak, the truth summed in a single syllable: “So?”
Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 06 29 at 01:52 AM • permalinkI enjoyed it alot too, especially reading Hawkings’ comments to myself using his computer-generated electronic voice.
WHAT. A. LAUGH. HA-HA-HA.Posted by andycanuck on 2006 06 29 at 08:41 AM • permalinkI’m surprized not much was made of Hawking’s “yellow fever” comments in China. He seems to have quite a hankerin’ for the oriental girls. Is his nursey girl Chinese?
Note: I agree with Hawking on the Chinese Women question. I just don’t go blabing about it in public.
Posted by Dave in Chicago on 2006 06 29 at 09:35 AM • permalinkHumorous like most of your stuff. But irrelevant to concerns about global warming. You are ridiculing a person - that is cute and clever - but otherwise not saying much.
What does the ‘earth is a whore’ claim mean? Who is being paid? Does this whore want to be rooted? Who is answering the question. It dissolves.
#7 harryc
I think you’ve been reading/writing too many haikus.
Posted by Dave in Chicago on 2006 06 29 at 11:45 AM • permalinkQ: What is black and sits at the top of the stairs after a fire?
A: Stephen Hawking.
Posted by Jimmy the Dhimmi on 2006 06 29 at 02:28 PM • permalinkDoes this whore want to be rooted? Who is answering the question. It dissolves.
I’m with PW, although I think harryc is more on line with Witheld. Here’s a sample of that worthy’s handiwork from “protein wisdom”, although you may have to scroll down to his first comment (the linking doesn’t always go to the comment).
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 06 29 at 02:42 PM • permalinkYou know, I really can’t blame Hawking here. The Earth is clearly at fault, for dressing all slutty and inviting in public like that, all those lubricious greens and blues…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 06 29 at 08:21 PM • permalinkSpeaking of whores, will y’all pitch in some money to get HarryC a b.j., god knows he needs one.
Posted by Daniel San on 2006 06 30 at 02:16 AM • permalinkDemeaning and meaningless.
The naysayers must be getting pretty desperate when they sink to this level.
Hawkings has more brains and integrity in his earwax than the author of this witty piece has in his/her entire body..
Dragging a guys ex wife into a crude and childish pastiche for no real reason other than sheer mean spite (??) must be pretty close to the lowest you can get.
New Low here Timbo..Ah, drpoll. It really must be a chore being you, constantly searching for things to be outraged about.
Posted by Daniel San on 2006 06 30 at 05:43 AM • permalinkdrpoll — I’ve met Steven Hawking. He has a better sense of humor than you do.
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 06 30 at 10:35 AM • permalinkJust don’t tell him he forgot to carry the 2 in A Brief History of Time/
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 06 30 at 10:36 AM • permalinkdrpoll has a sense of humor? I thought it was just a Gorebot, one of those AIs that emulate Gorezilla’s personality, and leave incoherent rants all over the INTERNET.
Color me surprised.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 06 30 at 12:40 PM • permalinkJeffS - it’s worse - the Internet leaves rants all over itself. It was invented that way by Algore.
drpoll - the naysayers, in this case, have a point. If Al et al pitched eco-friendly practices as a way to improve OUR lives, they may get somewhere - but that would be “speciesist” and “homocentric.” Instead they pitch it as good for the environment, which could not possibly care one way or the other. The environment has been both way hotter and way colder at various epochs in history, and somehow we’re still here to bitch about a half-degree here and there.
Thanks, Nightfly, I’d forgotten that Gorezilla invented the INTERNET.
Well, at least I know who to blame for monotonous drones like drpoll—GOREZILLA!
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 06 30 at 05:43 PM • permalink38.. That’s String Theory and Hawkins didn’t invent it, Leonard Susskind did… Oooohhh..
That was a JOKE??? Oohh… HAR.. HA. ha…
There goes my primitive sense of humour again. Perhaps my over developed sense of the ridiculous is getting in the way??It is still a pointless and rather pathetic little piece. Serves no purpose other than to sneer. Why bother??
Thinking this was a serious polemic forum, I have browsed this forum for a couple of weeks and gone back over some of the other posts, something has struck me..
There is very little POSITIVE here.
Lot of heads in the sand, lots of naysaying and some frightful name calling of people who ask difficult and uncomfortable questions or who dare to disagree (debate???) but no real feeling that anything of value will come of it. No feeling of true humanity or humility. You know, those qualities that are supposed to make us human.
Couple of words of wisdom from The Oldest Man in the World,
Why??
What is the point?
Do you think this TBlair is playing you all like puppets?
Cos it seems a bit like that. He chucks in a juicey bone and gets the predicatable result. His own “writing” is pretty depressing and negative too.. Is his paroxetine wearing off..?
Just a couple of questions..31. Hey, wonderful. So that means..?
drpoll, I don’t know what bug crawled up your ass, but if you don’t like it here you are welcome to quit reading and commenting on this blog. I can help you with the latter task.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 07 01 at 09:32 AM • permalinkApparently we’re all being “played like puppets”. Make me dance, Tim!, now walk me over to the liquor cabinet!.
Posted by Daniel San on 2006 07 01 at 12:02 PM • permalinkDrpoll, you have convinced me that you shouldn’t come here anymore.
Once again you disrespect your elders. Is this the humility you are talking about? Or is it the graveling you would have us do in the face of those who have displayed no critical thinking skills with which to consider complex questions, but who use their emotions as cognitive elements to conclude that the sky is falling? Should we display the humility of one who wouldn’t know a governing priciple if it bit him in the butt? Or perhaps the humility of one who is so fearful that any disagreement sends him into a spinning uncertainty of his own existence? Oh, the humanity!
P.S. Paco is way more humble than you. Hell, Huck is way more humble than you.
P.S.S. What a brat. Comin’ here uninvited, throwing tantrums, and insulting our intelligence with every word he vomits up all over the screen. No manners. Go cut me a switch, boy, and I’ll teach you something about humility!
Do you think this TBlair is playing you all like puppets?
Thanks for the big scoop,
ClouseauPoirot: Tim Blair’s a left wing agent provocateur!It’s a pity we’ve disappointed the barely literate “drpoll” with the fact that this is not a “serious polemic forum”(?), and that we’re simply not positive enough for him. Sir, may I introduce you to DailyKos, where the regulars are insanely positive about a number of issues - such as their political influence. I reckon you’ll be with friends there.
Posted by James Waterton on 2006 07 01 at 01:51 PM • permalinkSome here call the distaff commenters mignonettes, but no—we all of us are marionettes, jerked about by DarkTim’s evil fingers upon our strings, forced to comment on whatever DarkTim posts, rather than engaging superior beings like drpoll in valuable humble humanness. My God, drpoll, you have opened my eyes, like whatshisname in The Matrix, and now I feel ready to take the blue pill!
Or was it the red pill?
Gee, I hope Tim posts more stories about polar bears soon.
Evacuating Earth due to certain disaster faced by humans is Hawking’s justification for space travel.
Also I just love how Hawking uses “objective science” to communicate this impending armageddon. - we are in peril from “other dangers we have not yet thought of”
Posted by Hank Reardon on 2006 07 01 at 06:25 PM • permalinkEvacuating Earth due to certain disaster faced by humans is Hawking’s justification for space travel.
Did Hawking mention the Mine Shaft Gap?
Posted by Dave in Chicago on 2006 07 02 at 11:39 AM • permalink
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Simply brilliant.
The funniest thing we’ve read in ages!
It was really well done!