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HAIL THE CUP

Celine Dion demands freedom for the miniature pixel people of New Orleans:

“I open the television, there’s people still there, waiting to be rescued, and for me it’s not acceptable,” she said.

But how can we possibly save them? What device might be used to scoop up these tiny tele-dwellers? Time to step forward, Sean Penn – and bring that little plastic cup of liberty with you.

Posted by Tim B. on 09/06/2005 at 02:43 AM
  1. Dang, whenever I open my televison, all I see are wires, ciruit boards, and a CRT.

    I blame Halliburton.

    Posted by Dave T. on 2005 09 06 at 04:32 AM • permalink

  2. Dead man paddling

    Posted by you bet on 2005 09 06 at 04:35 AM • permalink

  3. for me it’s not acceptable

    Well, stiffski shitski, Celine sweetie.

    Posted by BIWOZ on 2005 09 06 at 04:36 AM • permalink

  4. I remember how Sean Penn was portrayed in Team America, a left wing tree hugging hippy who believed that “rivers of chocolate” flowed through Saddam’s paradise.

    Posted by cjblair on 2005 09 06 at 05:05 AM • permalink

  5. Fess up Tim - that’s a verbatim quote from Margo isn’t it.

    Posted by Ck on 2005 09 06 at 05:19 AM • permalink

  6. Don’t you love that Franglais: “I open the television”.  I’m sure she shuts the tap, too, when she’s finished washing her teeth.

    Posted by cuckoo on 2005 09 06 at 06:58 AM • permalink

  7. Dion also slammed authorities for arresting looters in the city that became a hellhole of crime and violence after the storm, saying rescue should be the only priority. “How come it’s so easy to send planes in another country to kill everyone in a second, to destroy lives?” Dion said, alluding to the US-led war in Iraq.

    I really can’t understand her point.  I suspect you need to be a celebrity to follow this sort of thing.

    Posted by rexie on 2005 09 06 at 07:09 AM • permalink

  8. I open the television — now my hair looks like Siouxsie’s…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 09 06 at 10:00 AM • permalink

  9. Dion gets a pass from me, she donated like 5 mil to the relief efforts. Penn? Too bad that little dweeb didn’t sink at the freakin’ dock.

    Headed out to “rescue” people with his posse and personal photog. How lame is that?

    Posted by mojo on 2005 09 06 at 10:40 AM • permalink

  10. Shut up and sing.

    ...

    On second thoughts, don’t sing.

    Posted by Leigh on 2005 09 06 at 11:13 AM • permalink

  11. How the hell can anybody rescue people if those people are shooting at them?  Another stupid wench.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2005 09 06 at 11:17 AM • permalink

  12. Celine, I remember you singing in the ad hoc telethon immediately after 9/11.  You were beautiful.  And thank you for the donation to the Katrina victims.

    But, PLEASE!, stick to entertainment.  I don’t want to see another good entertainer go down the dark road towards moonbattery.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 09 06 at 12:30 PM • permalink

  13. Well! That explains the time I went to Mardi Gras and the guy on the float threw me a voltage doubler and some ferrite beads.

    Posted by Paul Zrimsek on 2005 09 06 at 12:35 PM • permalink

  14. Pierce Brosnon (nen?) has opened his trap and blamed Bush.  Sad, another actor that for now on I will see only his ideology, and not the character he is playing in some movie.
    Is Mrs. Dion sad about the slow response?  Blame GOVERNMENT for it.  Plus, blame the fact that the day after, New Orleans looked like it was going to be ok.  Still not good enough for her, well then I’m sorry, feel sorry for me too that I wasn’t born with a gold-plated pair of lungs like her.  Life can be unfair.
    And finally for Spicolly, I have to give him kudos for doing something.  Even with the flack vest, dixie cup, and personal photographer.  From where I sit, he pretty much just shut up and got to work.  In a way he is a microcosm of the situation.  He was off to a bad start but will learn from his mistakes and continue on (I hope) all the while in the view of a camera.

    Posted by Jungus on 2005 09 06 at 12:41 PM • permalink

  15. “Berkeley police said a loaded Glock 9 millimeter semi-automatic pistol and an unloaded Smith & Wesson .38 caliber revolver owned by Penn were missing after the actor’s car was stolen April 8.”

    “His last misdemeanor conviction for assault with a deadly weapon was ‘86, but in ‘97 he was popped on a parole violation for simple assault.”

    “Not just anyone can get a permit to carry a concealed weapon. ... It’s not a simple process and it does require some diligence on the part of the person seeking the permit.”

    Yeah, seems a bag of cash and a ounce of blow can buy anything in Marin Co.

    Posted by 13times on 2005 09 06 at 12:48 PM • permalink

  16. Then again, if only drug dealers are the holdouts in NOLA, there could be a different reason for this humanitarian mission of Sean’s

    Posted by Jungus on 2005 09 06 at 12:53 PM • permalink

  17. They should just parachute Celine into New Orleans. All that ham could feed the city for a month.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2005 09 06 at 01:19 PM • permalink

  18. Berzerkely’s in Contra Costa County.

    And yeah, celebs manage to get CCW permits, although practically nobody else can. Big surprise, huh?

    It’s the county sheriff’s call.

    Posted by mojo on 2005 09 06 at 03:10 PM • permalink

  19. #16,
    Hmmm, must be some stashes left somewhere…no, the cops probably got there first.

    Or maybe he’s opening a N.O. connection.

    He was here recently filming “All the King’s Men”.  My nephew, previously mentioned, was an extra, played a senator, said no one could get near him due to his bodyguards and that he was a condescending ass.

    Posted by duh on 2005 09 06 at 03:53 PM • permalink

  20. Has his ex signed in, would like to see her Kabbalistic take on this.

    Posted by duh on 2005 09 06 at 03:54 PM • permalink

  21. Can’t get to my email….someone sent copy of Anne Rice’s plea for the rebuilding of N.O., will post it asap.

    New book, Interview with Katrina?

    You know we thought all those survival shows were a waste….I see it now, Survivor-Katrina.  All the book and movie deals have been signed and the celebs are making sure they get there first.

    Posted by duh on 2005 09 06 at 03:58 PM • permalink

  22. I wish there were some one like the Diplomad on the scene, blogging on what’s actually getting done and who’s getting it done.

    Posted by debo.v2 on 2005 09 06 at 04:16 PM • permalink

  23. OK-come on now-I have to defend my fellow Acadian.  Look we can barely speak English and we really can’t speak French-that anyone outside of the Beaubassin woods can comprehend.

    Now darn it -I’m off to polsh Celin’s shoes. She pays me a buck a pair-American ya hosers!

    Posted by madawaskan on 2005 09 06 at 04:57 PM • permalink

  24. Polsh means polish-in “the” dialect damn it.

    Posted by madawaskan on 2005 09 06 at 04:59 PM • permalink

  25. In Acadian-if you translate literally that’s what comes out-

    Open =turn on…

    Like turn on the lights ends up-‘open the lights’.

    Turn on Bill Clinton…oh nevermind.

    Posted by madawaskan on 2005 09 06 at 05:02 PM • permalink

  26. So the response was slow, but has anyone yet offered up an example where a government resposnded to a disaster of similar magnitude with greater speed and effectiveness?

    If not, then what do people mean when they say the response was slow?  Slow compared to what?

    Posted by TimShell on 2005 09 06 at 07:57 PM • permalink

  27. Mojo - Actually, Berkeley (I assume that’s what you mean by Berzerkely) is in Alameda County (although it’s not far from Contra Costa County).

    Posted by Bruce Lagasse on 2005 09 06 at 08:31 PM • permalink

  28. Penn is now stating he intended “to rescue children trapped by flood” presumably by tearing them from the arms of their parents and leaving the adults behind…

    Man, these showbiz types do all think alike, don’t they?

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 09 06 at 08:40 PM • permalink

  29. Dave T. — According to Rob Randall, the starving black people in New Orleans ate the little people in your TV…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 09 06 at 10:19 PM • permalink

  30. btw, there’s a sublime Andrew Bolt article on the blame-Bush brigade:

    Hurricane of lies
    OF COURSE, it’s George Bush’s fault. Why miss this chance to blame someone you already hate?

    So see them line up to kick him over the devastation of New Orleans, and the delays in bringing relief. See some so insane with loathing that they blame him even for Hurricane Katrina itself.

    Posted by Art Vandelay on 2005 09 07 at 02:05 AM • permalink

  31. No No No you have all got it wrong. haven’t you seen Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
    Willy Wonka Invented a machine that transfered chocolate by TV. It then transfered Mike Tv by TV.
    Obviously Celine doesn’t want tens of thousands of tiny dirty hungry New Orleans residents running around her living room looting whatever they can carry. Anyway she doesn’t have a taffy puller to strecth them back to their real size.
    So people help her reach in your TV and take these people to the nearest choclate factory to get them stretched back into shape.

    I wonder how many little people you can fit in a red plastic cup.

    Posted by Rosco on 2005 09 07 at 02:18 AM • permalink

  32. Nano-Orleansians?
    Travolta flew in his plane loaded with supplies.

    Posted by crash on 2005 09 07 at 10:38 AM • permalink

  33. In N.O., it is referred as a “to-go” cup.

    Posted by duh on 2005 09 07 at 05:04 PM • permalink

  34. “Berzerkely’s in Contra Costa County”
    “Berzerkely is in Alameda County”

    CCW was issued in Ross, Marin Co.

    Posted by 13times on 2005 09 08 at 12:21 PM • permalink

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