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GORES NEUTRALISED

“This is Ted Kennedy’s city,”  Bill Richardson told CNN in 2004. “Boston.”  And doesn’t Boston know it. In other senior Democrat developments, Al Gore has achieved neutrality:

Tipper and I have switched to hybrid cars, installed clock thermostats, switched to compact fluorescent light bulbs, and we became carbon-neutral two years ago.

You know, a few decades back, Ted Kennedy helped Mary Jo Kopechne become carbon-negative. These people just never stop caring.

Posted by Tim B. on 06/15/2006 at 09:34 AM
  1. Poor Al.  Carbon neutral.  And one red-faced screaming speech will cancel out all his fluourescent light bulbs…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 06 15 at 09:47 AM • permalink

  2. Well, carbon-neutral as long as they don’t count the jet rides or the limousines sitting at the curb with the air conditioning on.

    Or the hotel stays (damned few hotels run carbon-neutral nowadays).

    Posted by cirby on 2006 06 15 at 09:50 AM • permalink

  3. Carbon-neutral..Ha! He takes himself a bit too seriously I would say.

    Posted by debi L. on 2006 06 15 at 09:53 AM • permalink

  4. Danger…Danger....Global Warming Approaching.

    Posted by bc on 2006 06 15 at 09:55 AM • permalink

  5. carbon-neutral as long as they dont interact with the surrounding society which uses 19 tons co2/capita-year to service the carbon-neutral

    Posted by embutler on 2006 06 15 at 10:01 AM • permalink

  6. o/t ABC Central Site- on Windschuttle’s appointment to the ABC Board.
    “Senator Coonan rejected suggestions that Mr Windschuttle had already shown his political colours DESPITE THE ABC NEEDING TO BE NEUTRAL..”
    Oh wait…

    Posted by crash on 2006 06 15 at 10:04 AM • permalink

  7. I can just see the embarrassed call to Tipper…

    “Honey, I made that big anime vein in my forehead pop out when somebody mentioned Bush today… better pull a couple bulbs to balance the heat and CO2.  Start with the ones in the Maid’s room, it’s like Blanca acutally reads English anyway…”

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 06 15 at 10:05 AM • permalink

  8. “...not like Blanca reads English…”

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 06 15 at 10:06 AM • permalink

  9. Maybe he can be convinced he needs to repay his carbon debt.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 06 15 at 10:08 AM • permalink

  10. more like carbon-neural.

    Posted by Razor on 2006 06 15 at 10:10 AM • permalink

  11. installed clock thermostats. How easily these hypocrites give themselves away. If Gore is carbon neutral, then he’d be heating/air conditioning on solar power and he wouldn’t need thermostats to control the sun. But he’s not using solar power and neither wind power.OOOPs, maybe wind power to get the hot air out of his head

    Posted by stats on 2006 06 15 at 10:25 AM • permalink

  12. As long as he keeps the termites from getting at him.

    Posted by moptop on 2006 06 15 at 10:27 AM • permalink

  13. Well, Ted Kennedy and his son are not the only homicidal delusional drunks to come out of Boston.

    Posted by stats on 2006 06 15 at 10:29 AM • permalink

  14. Gore isn’t carbon-based anyway.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2006 06 15 at 10:30 AM • permalink

  15. Well, Ted Kennedy and his son are not the only homicidal delusional drunks to come out of Boston.

    But it’s good to know the MA Dems have a Senate candidate for 2012 now.  Teddy ain’t gettin’ any younger.

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 06 15 at 10:34 AM • permalink

  16. Tipper and I have switched to hybrid cars, installed clock thermostats, switched to compact fluorescent light bulbs, and we became carbon-neutral two years ago.

    We’ve also started drinking our own urine, we travel long distances by dirigible, and Tipper has taken up knitting sweaters from the dog’s fur.

    Posted by paco on 2006 06 15 at 10:36 AM • permalink

  17. And while Al is just now becoming carbon neutral, Ms. Gaia has been carbon neutral since her inception. The amount of carbon in the world has pretty much always been a constant, give or take some transmutations. It’s a little-known piece of science known as the conservation of matter which holds for non-radioactive elements.

    Posted by Dorian on 2006 06 15 at 10:38 AM • permalink

  18. A takedown of Al that includes one (brief) mention of polar bears—but no plastic turkeys:
    http://tinyurl.com/nschh
    (Via Right Wing News)

    Posted by andycanuck on 2006 06 15 at 10:43 AM • permalink

  19. Tipper and I are just too precious to live among the rest of you don’t really deserve to draw air.  We’d kill ourselves, but our carbon would still remain on Gaia, so that’s no good.  Instead we will continue to make ourselves obnoxious to the sane people, and pay our $39 to some scam artists in Silacon Valley so we can pretend to neutralize any carbon that may flake off of us as we get in and our of our hybrid car.  (I’m not sure how that works, but I just feel better when I send them a check.)

    Posted by saltydog on 2006 06 15 at 10:59 AM • permalink

  20. I know I’m not as smart as the man who invented the internet (which causes more people to waste energy by surfing the internet—-lots of atonement to do for that one Al), but I really don’t understand what “carbon neutral” means.  Even if I used no electricity/cars/energy whatsoever, wouldn’t I be spewing out CO2 with every breath?  Please Al, you and Tipper go carbon neutral if you feel the need.  My family and I prefer to enjoy the life God gave us.

    I noticed that Al’s website recommends wind energy, which I’m in favor of.  However, his fellow environmentalists will not be happy, because some birds aren’t smart enough to avoid flying into them.  No pleasing some people….

    He also recommends family farm dairies as a clean source of energy.  The jokes about clean methane almost write themselves.  Since I live near several dairies, and not in Washington DC where I’m sure they are scarce, I can tell you they are not at all clean.

    Posted by RK on 2006 06 15 at 11:02 AM • permalink

  21. Carbon-neutral?  Man, you can’t tell me Al Gore doesn’t know how to tell a joke.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 06 15 at 11:07 AM • permalink

  22. Carbon neutral?  This will become as big a joke in political annals as the Dean Scream.

    Posted by Patricia on 2006 06 15 at 11:13 AM • permalink

  23. GORES NEUTRALISED

    This should have occurred BEFORE they were allowed to reproduce.

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 06 15 at 11:14 AM • permalink

  24. If Gore is carbon neutral, then he’d be heating/air conditioning on solar power and he wouldn’t need thermostats to control the sun.

    Actually, if he were really serious about his going carbon neutral, Gorezilla should eschew heating and air conditioning.  Or at least drop the air conditioning, as I concede that heating is more important (survival wise) than AC.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 06 15 at 11:26 AM • permalink

  25. My bad, I hit the strike function, and not the italics…..although striking out Gorezilla is not a bad idea, all things considered.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 06 15 at 11:27 AM • permalink

  26. Al and Tipper have switched to Hubrids.

    He hasn’t driven himself anywhere for years, except around the estate. Can he really fit in the back seat of one of those things or does he sit next to the driver/bodyguard?  That would be a first.
    Course Hubrids are more Carbon intensive than the Hummer II, so maybe he should plant a few trees on said estate to make up for it.

    Posted by lmassie on 2006 06 15 at 11:30 AM • permalink

  27. So I assume he’s giving up the mansion? I mean, clock thermostats or no, big-ass mansions are terribly wasteful. I’m not saying the man should live in a yurt, but it’s just Tipper and him - a nice little two- or- three-bedroom Cape should suffice, yes?

    Posted by Dave S. on 2006 06 15 at 12:12 PM • permalink

  28. we became carbon-neutral two years ago.

    The sad thing is, millions of people will actually believe this obvious and blatant lie.

    Posted by R C Dean on 2006 06 15 at 12:35 PM • permalink

  29. I really don’t understand what “carbon neutral” means.

    It means “making meaningless gestures to demonstrate how thoughtful, caring, and moral you are; generally accompanied by a thick cloud of smug”.

    Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 06 15 at 12:44 PM • permalink

  30. #20: Even if I used no electricity/cars/energy whatsoever, wouldn’t I be spewing out CO2 with every breath?

    Unlike his former boss, Al never exhales.

    Posted by paco on 2006 06 15 at 12:52 PM • permalink

  31. Carter does not pull his punches about Gore’s activism, “The man is an embarrassment to US science and its many fine practitioners, a lot of whom know (but feel unable to state publicly) that his propaganda crusade is mostly based on junk science.”

    Bingo

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 06 15 at 12:59 PM • permalink

  32. Al Gore: the Switzerland of carbon?

    How many trees gave up their lives (and their carbon) so that lefties could be seen carrying Earth in the Balance around with them?

    Posted by Brian O'Connell on 2006 06 15 at 01:03 PM • permalink

  33. But wait. Battle of the pseudoscientists:

    Q: Is there any argument about this? Do people question your facts?

    A: There is global scientific consensus — the debate is over as far as science is concerned. But there are a few large polluters — unfortunately ExxonMobil is among them — who are spending millions of dollars a year to finance pseudoscience that intentionally confuses the public discussion.

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 06 15 at 01:08 PM • permalink

  34. #31:  Kyda, is that Jimmy Carter you’re referring to?

    Posted by paco on 2006 06 15 at 01:29 PM • permalink

  35. I seem to recall a documentary where an inanimate carbon rod won an award and was given a big parade; something about the space shuttle, I think. Was that about Al?

    Posted by andycanuck on 2006 06 15 at 01:39 PM • permalink

  36. #26, Nooooo! Don’t you remember, trees are The Enemy!!

    Posted by Celaeno on 2006 06 15 at 02:51 PM • permalink

  37. Couldn’t Al and Tip live in a 700-foot space?  I mean, don’t they want to give back to Gaia, and that begins with reducing their footprint?  Literally, as it were?

    Posted by ushie on 2006 06 15 at 05:43 PM • permalink

  38. You know, he didn’t exactly say carbon dioxide-neutral…

    Maybe carbon-neutral means he switched from pencils to ballpoint pens two years ago. (And no more diamond jewelry for Tipper, I suppose.)

    Posted by PW on 2006 06 15 at 07:10 PM • permalink

  39. Tipper could always wear emeralds and pearls, I suppose.  Or just lotsa gold.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 06 15 at 07:47 PM • permalink

  40. Pearls before swine…

    (Clasps hands over mouth)

    Posted by PW on 2006 06 15 at 08:05 PM • permalink

  41. I wonder if those private jets and such count against the “carbon neutrality”?  I doubt he flies economy…

    Posted by Foobarista on 2006 06 15 at 08:52 PM • permalink

  42. Tipper and I have switched to hybrid cars, installed clock thermostats, switched to compact fluorescent light bulbs, and we became carbon-neutral two years ago.

    I don’t think you can count your increasingly wooden personality as an offset Al.

    Posted by Mr Hackenbacker on 2006 06 15 at 09:35 PM • permalink

  43. Fluorescent lights?

    No wonder his makeup was so bad in the debates.

    Posted by Janis Gore on 2006 06 15 at 11:19 PM • permalink

  44. Heck, I’ve got a hybrid car and I’ve used a clock thermostat and fluorescent lightbulbs for years.  And, since I don’t jet around the country flacking a crockumentary, Gore can kiss my sweet green arse.

    Posted by Achillea on 2006 06 15 at 11:24 PM • permalink

  45. Achillea, I have decreased my footprint for years.  But I won’t go to full fluorescents.

    Posted by Janis Gore on 2006 06 15 at 11:30 PM • permalink


  46. Mary Jo Kopechne could not be reached for a comment.

    Posted by Oafish and Infantile on 2006 06 16 at 08:00 AM • permalink

  47. If she had lived, Mary Jo Kopechne would be 62 years old. Through his tireless work as a legislator, Edward Kennedy would have brought comfort to her in her old age.”
    —Charles Pierce in a January 5, 2003 Boston Globe Magazine article.

    Posted by Oafish and Infantile on 2006 06 16 at 08:03 AM • permalink

  48. Google count for ted kennedy drunken asshole: check for yourself.

    Posted by Oafish and Infantile on 2006 06 16 at 08:04 AM • permalink

  49. Abolutely outdone by the Google count for al gore pussy

    Posted by Oafish and Infantile on 2006 06 16 at 08:05 AM • permalink

  50. Oh, you are so cruel bringing up Ted’s old problematic past, just like the Plastic Turkeys.

    Ted has been an example to all his family who have followed him since.

    Posted by Barrie on 2006 06 16 at 09:40 PM • permalink

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