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GORE CONSENSUS DISPUTED
Scientific consensus on the Al Gore Effect is in danger of shattering:
Al Gore, the two-term vice president and the White House nominee in 2000, was in Seattle on Tuesday ...
According to respected climatologist Dr Seth Adipose, of no fixed address, the manifestation of Gore in the pointless northwestern city should have generated localised cold snaps, snow, and sleep.
“Instead,” noted Adipose, “Gore caused a mere three-degree drop compared to average temperatures for this season. We may be witnessing a weakening of the Gore Effect as other long-term weather variables come into play. Although many people did, in fact, fall asleep during Mr Gore’s appearance. Including Mr Gore.”
That analyis is violently disputed by Professor Harley Ribbon, of Shreveport, La.’s respected Climatina Turner Advanced Colding Institute.
“Reckless talk from Gore denialists is funded by Big Tanning Oil and other sun-profit groups,” said the professor, whose many charts, statistics, and personally threatening manner make him a convincing advocate for his cause.
“Besides,” added Ribbon, “even if our knowledge of the Gore Effect is only half right, or a quarter right, it is the issue. Of survival!”
5: “There might be a market for a Doom Ring, made from leftover Mood Rings of the 70s. The color indicates the danger.”
Calls down to shop floor.
Bob? Paco. Listen, do we still have that old unsold inventory of mood rings? We do? Ok, dust ‘em off and get with marketing on some new packaging. I’ll call you back; right now I have to go place an ad at Daily Kos. I have a plan.
Can anyone here tell me whether or not Australia signed or ratified the Kyoto Treaty, which the eco-heinous World Number One Greedy Polluter and Rogue Nation refused to do*, outraging righteous Euro-entities everywhere?
Thanks!*(Actually, as I recall, Slippery Willy Clinton signed it amid much fanfare, but the wicked Republican-controlled U.S. Congress did not ratify it. I could be misremembering, though.)
Posted by Mary in LA on 2006 10 27 at 08:38 PM • permalinkDidn’t Colorado get about a foot and a half of Global Warmening yesterday or the day before? Was BigWoodenAlGore flying over Colorado at the time?
(Mary in LA, Slick Willie actually had BigWoodenAl sign it for the US then never sent it to the Senate, because they had voted 95-0 not to consider any such treaty that didn’t include China and India.)
Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2006 10 27 at 09:34 PM • permalinkRemember the doomsday clock at the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists?
Sure you do. Right now it’s at seven minutes before midnight,Seems to me it’s been at seven minutes before midnight for about the last 30 years.
Posted by Bruce Lagasse on 2006 10 27 at 09:55 PM • permalink(Actually, as I recall, Slippery Willy Clinton signed it amid much fanfare, but the wicked Republican-controlled U.S. Congress did not ratify it. I could be misremembering, though.)
“In July 1999, the Senate voted 95-0 to pass a resolution co-sponsored by Senators Byrd (D-W.Va.) and Hagel (R-Neb.) stating that the Senate would not ratify the Protocol unless rapidly developing countries such as China were included in its requirements to reduce greenhouse gases. The Clinton Administration announced it would not send the treaty to the Senate for ratification.”
(I don’t remember how many Republicans were in the Senate then, but it sure wasn’t 95.)
#6:
I look forward to the day when al-Goretex disappears into the fog of history, mostly forgotten and completely unlamented.
Nah. The guy has a wonderfully profitable future ahead of him, if he would only see it.
Imagine how much the ski resorts in Colorado or the Alps would pay him to show up at the appropriate time. And imagine how much the operators of beach concessions, the State of Hawai’i, etc. would pay him not to.
Time to deploy the Subliminal Rovinator. Get on it, paco.
Regards,
Ric#14, One could be excused for thinking that, as they never seem to mention when they move the hands away from midnight. Something about bad news selling copy or some such tripe.
Check out the Wikipedia page on the Doomsday clock, turns out we can blame GWB again.
Who’d have thunk it?Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 10 28 at 02:01 AM • permalinkThe weather forecast for Canberra today was 14 degrees celcuis (that’s -100 degrees fahrenheit at the current exchange rate for you Americans) with snow on the nearby mountains. Now, I’m no expert, but the actual temperature here today seems to be a lot closer to 24 degrees than 14.
I initially put this glaring mistake down to a typo (ie, some idiot at the BoM hit the ‘1’ key instead of ‘2’) since we all know that climate models are 100% accurate (thanks Ender). However, just maybe, the weather boffins were expecting Al Gore to visit today and had factored in a ‘gore effect’.
Posted by Art Vandelay on 2006 10 28 at 02:08 AM • permalinkFurther news from the real world, a Margaret River vintner sent me the following missive a month ago:
Very much enjoyed your paper on sunspot cycles. I keep a temperature record for my vineyards as hourly data. Over the years I have developed ideas about climate, the grape vine, how to manage the plant to get the flavours required to make great wine and so on. In the process of researching the plant response to declining seasonal temperatures I discovered that recent seasons have brought us to the edge where it gets to be difficult to ripen Cabernet Sauvignon. So, I started to look around a bit and discovered that the cold is coming from a rapidly cooling Antarctica.
I kid you not, this headline just spotted on Channel 7 news:
October snowstorm sparks fears of global warming
Posted by Art Vandelay on 2006 10 28 at 04:16 AM • permalinkI heard that Dr. Sayeth Juxtapose (no relation) said globule warming was likely a cosmic phenomenon, perhaps aided slightly by man. Andrew Bolt has published a rainfall graph for the past 100 years which is interesting for its unremarkable repetitiveness - and lack of doom et gloom.
Come one come all!
Get off that bus and slip ino the sleekish new ‘Al-Gorebot 2000 Xtreme Stupor Sport Millenium Edition’ PeopleCarT.The consensus is in - The worlds greatest scientifical minds all agree -
"We need this brilliantly invented progressive vehicle to propell us into the gloriously shiny new peoples future.”
“The ‘Al-Gorebot 2000 Xtreme Stupor Sport Millenium Edition’ PeopleCarT is quite simply the answer to all our prayers...”
“...Thank you, thank you, thank you uber-comrade Gore..."
- so savor your lot and be sure to inhale all the progressive new-cart fumes wafting up from the most premium grade MDF-grain surfaces your money can buy. Let the ‘Al-Gorebot 2000 Xtreme Stupor Sport Millenium Edition’ PeopleCarT lull you into a blissful state of reality-based goodness.
We know you’ll dutifully help us zoom along the Information Stuporhighway in first-class style as you luxuriate in the finest silky smoooove burlap-trimmed Pyongyang pleather our cadres of specially trained hippies can scrounge up in the most exotic factories of Northern Asia. Think of how much more smug and superior you will feel when you grab the reins and feel the power of 270 frothing donkeys lurching you and your (minimum of 6) passengers nearly off the optional padded bench seat.
Yes! All of this can be yours!
MSRP: Your collective souls
Now with 63% more quadruple recycled simulated wood soy product and 26.4% less fumes for 2006!
40 inch rims and breadcrusts not included in base model.Please drive responsibly - use your compost bag and stay on state designated city trails.
’“Instead,” noted Adipose, “Gore caused a mere three-degree drop compared to average temperatures for this season.’
Also, a two foot rise in world sea levels when he tripped and fell headfirst into Puget Sound.
Posted by Dave Surls on 2006 10 28 at 03:04 PM • permalinkPW, is that a photo of Miranda getting down with Algore?!?!?!?!
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 10 29 at 01:13 AM • permalinkThanks for the info re: Kyoto treaty shenanigans. I’m glad to know that Australia didn’t sign or ratify the silly thing. You all have given me valuable ammunition for a meatspace debate in which I am about to engage. Wish me luck! :-)
Posted by Mary in LA on 2006 10 30 at 03:06 PM • permalink
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Geeeze...and if it’s only 1% right then only the most ‘at risk’ group is in danger.
That group would be those that have absolutely no ability to take care of themselves in the real world, think rationally, make judgements on fact, or meet adversity with resolve and humor.
Sounds like the greenies are doomed.