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GOOD NEWS IS BAD

A Canadian commenter at the Huffleruffleduffletonian Post has important regional news:

[The] oil based economy here in Alberta is absolutely nuts insane rich.

Well, that’s just great!

Starting wages for McDonald’s in Ft.MacMurry are $14 to $17 per hour!!!!

Wonderful!

500 new jobs are posted for Edmonton every day.

It’s all good!

Most with starting wages for labouring at 12 to 18 dollars an hour.

Can’t complain about those numbers! Except that our Canadian commenter thinks this is all bad news:

Please, quit buying oil, and screwing with your other supplies. There is no stopping this otherwise, not in Alberta, no fucking way.

Fuck the environment, most here say. If you think your economy is helped by staying on oil, you ain’t seen nothing.

QUIT BUYING OIL!!!!!!!! Or the economy won’t be worth shit when everything else starts to fail.

No amount of wealth can fix a broken planet. And then we will see suffering.

To rescue this situation, McDonald’s wages in Canada must be cut, and new jobs slashed. Lest wealth cause suffering.

Posted by Tim B. on 04/14/2006 at 11:41 AM
  1. Well, can we use the money we save by not buying oil to purchase more hamburgers? Would that be ok, er, Mikmik?

    Posted by paco on 2006 04 14 at 11:59 AM • permalink

  2. OK then. If we have to stop using oil, let us begin by bombing the Iranian oil fields and blocking their oil exports. It will make the rest of the world appease us AND if these jokers are right it will save the planet, although that is just a bonus. It won´t hurt Alberta as much as Tehran, but we will have to live with that.

    Posted by werner on 2006 04 14 at 12:10 PM • permalink

  3. JOB MAKE GAIA ANGRY! MAKE JOB STOP! FIRE BAD!

    Posted by P. Froward on 2006 04 14 at 12:11 PM • permalink

  4. Curse free enterprise and capitalism for forcing prosperity on us all again!

    Posted by JJM Ballantyne on 2006 04 14 at 12:11 PM • permalink

  5. QUIT BUYING OIL!!!!!!!!

    Are exclamation points a renewable resource?

    You’d think with all that wealth in Alberta, the poor guy could afford boldface.

    Posted by P. Froward on 2006 04 14 at 12:14 PM • permalink

  6. Does that mean that the petrol prices will come down now after the usual Easter price hike?  I put in $50 on Tuesday and only got half a tank.

    Posted by Crossie on 2006 04 14 at 12:15 PM • permalink

  7. And, as a Canadian, I can hardly ignore the irony of it all:

    Our Albertan prosperity can be directly linked to the cost of a barrel of crude.

    Without dastardly Chimpy McBushitler and his horrible “illegal” invasion of Iraq - so berated by our Canadian chattering classes - the tar sands would likely still be too expensive to make extraction worthwhile…

    Posted by JJM Ballantyne on 2006 04 14 at 12:32 PM • permalink

  8. JJM Ballantyne,

    Your fellow Canuckian Neil Young is on the job with a new single set to come out, entitled “Impeach The President”. That will show those hosers in Edmonton what suffering is…

    Posted by JDB on 2006 04 14 at 12:48 PM • permalink

  9. F*ck all those f•cking envirotaltarians and the f•cking horses they f•cked in on.

    Happy Easter, everyone!

    Posted by Monroe Doctrine on 2006 04 14 at 12:58 PM • permalink

  10. If Bush had just left those poor fucking Islamapsychopths alone, this would have been a much better world huh?

    I mean really, with fucking cult psychotics, killing relatively small numbers of people, every so often…shit that’s chump change, right?

    Oil prices would have been quite stable, the world economy would have been level, no war, no Cindy and her stained undergarments, no fat bastard Michael Moore, the mad doctor Howard Dean, would have remembered to take his medication all the time, Kerry and your Latham fellow very possibly could have been in charge.

    Everything would have been running smoothly, headed for socialist utopia, had Bush and a few others said…hey what’s a 3000 people here and there…and hell OZ, you only lost 89 out of 200 some people. Your Islamapsychopaths would have been happy.

    Ahhh yes peace and quiet, socialist style…Utopia, as I say. Damn the people that started this agitation with terrorists, back in the 70’s…but Bush, Blair and Howard, by far the worst.

    Ummmm, this is meant to be read with eye’s dripping in sarcasm. Were it ME, Islamics, would be riding Camels, enclosed in walled in nation states….and just because I’m a nice person…Dates and Water would be had by all....OIL…what OIL? Certainly not THEIR OIL.

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 04 14 at 01:31 PM • permalink

  11. Hmmm.

    You know.  I bet when some caveman finally discovered how to create fire there was a liberal there shaking his head and saying:

    “You are sooo destroying this world.”

    Posted by memomachine on 2006 04 14 at 01:33 PM • permalink

  12. Oh yes, I forgot the enviroment…perfectly fine, had George Bush, not been elected.

    In his 5 years plus, the world has gone from clean, safe and wealthy, to…well you know, just ask the leftist son-of-a-bitch that you must be working with...:).

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 04 14 at 01:40 PM • permalink

  13. #7 JJM Ballantyne,

    Without dastardly Chimpy McBushitler and his horrible “illegal” invasion of Iraq - so berated by our Canadian chattering classes - the tar sands would likely still be too expensive to make extraction worthwhile…

    As with the oil shale in the US, it isn’t so much the actual cost of extraction, but the huge initial outlay for processing facilities that made it too expensive. It would have been much too risky to make that large of an investment if the high crude oil prices turned out to be only temporary.

    If Hugo Chavez is serious about getting the OPEC price above US$100 a barrel, you’ll see the US and Canada investing in more resources previously believed to be “unprofitable”.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 04 14 at 01:42 PM • permalink

  14. Methane, ethane, propane, butane…

    The first one is horse exhaust, but in Australia there seems to be an abundance of the last two, which together are known as LPG.

    The fuel is a bit less revvy, but gives comparable torque. And because we have shitloads of it onshore it delivers a big trade balance plus.

    Posted by splice on 2006 04 14 at 01:54 PM • permalink

  15. splice,

    Here in suburban Southern California, most city buses and many other municipal vehicles run on LPG. I don’t know much about their efficiency, but it is far less objectionable sitting behind them in traffic than behind a diesel bus. Yikes!

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 04 14 at 02:22 PM • permalink

  16. I was meaning to write a funny comment here, but the sheer insanity of these people is just too much.

    I’m sure hoping to see interstellar travel and planet terraforming within my lifetime, if only because I trust these people would jump at the chance to settle on a pristine new planet and leave the sane ones of us the hell alone here on Earth.

    Posted by PW on 2006 04 14 at 02:31 PM • permalink

  17. PW, how about as a plan to deal those insane people?

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 04 14 at 02:37 PM • permalink

  18. Insane it is then. We’re selling it to China.

    Posted by splice on 2006 04 14 at 02:57 PM • permalink

  19. Okay, is reading a Laurie David post and concomitant commentary sufficient penance for Good Friday? I mean, should I like QUIT BUYING OIL!!!!!!!! too?

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 04 14 at 03:06 PM • permalink

  20. Grab your emesis bowl and check this out.

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 04 14 at 03:25 PM • permalink

  21. McDonalds in Ft. MacMurry is paying between $14 and $17 an hour?!?

    Do you want fries with that?

    Posted by 68W40 on 2006 04 14 at 03:35 PM • permalink

  22. I’m sure hoping to see interstellar travel and planet terraforming within my lifetime, if only because I trust these people would jump at the chance to settle on a pristine new planet and leave the sane ones of us the hell alone here on Earth.

    Shirley you realize they’d treat terraforming as yet another of humanity’s crimes against nature.

    Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 04 14 at 03:35 PM • permalink

  23. Even more points to ponder for Canadian “liberal nationalists” and their fellow travellers:

    1.  Alberta’s prosperity represents an ideological challenge for Québec separatists.  Thanks to Federal income and sales tax alone, Québec gets to share a healthy chunk of Alberta’s financial success just for being a province of Canada.  Discuss.

    2. Alberta’s prosperity represents an ideological challenge for leftie social welfare spenders. Thanks to Federal income and sales taxes alone, Canada’s “sacred trust” - universal medicare - could well get to enjoy improved funding from Alberta’s financial success. Discuss.

    Posted by JJM Ballantyne on 2006 04 14 at 03:38 PM • permalink

  24. Shirley you realize they’d treat terraforming as yet another of humanity’s crimes against nature.

    Yeah, probably. And on further thought, I suspect they’d also be more likely to sabotage their spaceship for some demented reason than use it to fly to their future home. Maybe Jeff’s solution has something going for it after all. :)

    Posted by PW on 2006 04 14 at 04:06 PM • permalink

  25. No amount of wealth can fix a broken planet.

    So tell us why environmentalists want the world to invest hundreds of billions of dollars to implement the Kyoto accord?

    Posted by perfectsense on 2006 04 14 at 05:12 PM • permalink

  26. #14 I just finished configuring all the analog and status points in our SCADA system for the Bass Strait production facility (BASSGAS). Took me a month, but we are good to go, anytime.

    So, while we and the infrastucture are ready to commission the site, delays at a company I won’t mention mean it won’t come on line until at least September.

    300 petajoules, that’s 1 million gigajoules or 1000000000000000 joules of energy is the calculated reserve.

    That’s a lot of gas, baby, but I don’t think the kids at MacDonalds will be getting a rise out of it.

    Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 04 14 at 05:34 PM • permalink

  27. #6 Where the bloody hell are ya, Crossie? Here in Godzone, two days before Easter the prices had come back down to $1.12.
    I filled the tank of my Sooby SUV plus a 10 litre take-away for my ride-on mower and ATV— all for $51.
    I am not telling you where I am. There are already too many southerners migrating here, clogging up our roads and casting shadows over our beaches.

    Posted by Skeeter on 2006 04 14 at 05:36 PM • permalink

  28. Oh shit…now you know too much about me…Adminatrix! Can I change my name please?

    Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 04 14 at 05:37 PM • permalink

  29. How much a McFlurry in Ft. MacMurray?
    How big is a burger in Banff?
    Stop getting’ that oil!
    You’ll only despoil
    Albertian sands, root and branch.

    Posted by blogstrop on 2006 04 14 at 05:50 PM • permalink

  30. Those Albertan dinosaurs, gymnosperms and early angiosperms gave their lives that we might be warmed, housed, transported and entertained.

    Please, don’t let their sacrifice have been in vain!

    Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 04 14 at 06:00 PM • permalink

  31. MentalFloss,
    those dead animals and plants are to added to the list of W McChimpyBurtons victims.

    Posted by Rob Read on 2006 04 14 at 06:28 PM • permalink

  32. #11 Ed

    when some caveman finally discovered how to create fire there was a liberal there shaking his head and saying:

    “You are sooo destroying this world.”

     

    Maybe it was this guy. Environmental law attracts an awful lot of libs no more sincere than him.

    unfrozen caveman lawyer

    Posted by Thomas on 2006 04 14 at 06:51 PM • permalink

  33. Incidentally, I just love this plea by our Albertan moron:

    Please, quit buying oil, and screwing with your other supplies. ... QUIT BUYING OIL!!!!!!!!

    I wonder how many of HuffPo’s readers have ever bought oil. Further, I’m curious to know which supplies he thinks people are “screwing”.

    Posted by PW on 2006 04 14 at 06:59 PM • permalink

  34. #11 ed.  They had tenured sinecures in cave man days?

    Posted by Brett_McS on 2006 04 14 at 06:59 PM • permalink

  35. Its funny, they claim capitalism needs regulation to the back teeth to protect workers from the EEEEvil bosses, and sinister McMegacorporations. Yet what is happening up there? The laws of supply and demand? Workers are scarce, wages are high, I bet every mom and dad store is doing a roaring trade
    And thats a bad thing??
    I work in the Kalgoorlie area in Oz on the mines, same thing happens here, you have to be completely useless to avoid work up here. There are more luxury goods stores in Kalgoorlie (pop around 20,000) than in the nearest comparable town, Geraldton (pop 25,000) by at least 3 to 1.

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2006 04 14 at 10:54 PM • permalink

  36. There are more luxury goods stores in Kalgoorlie (pop around 20,000) than in the nearest comparable town, Geraldton (pop 25,000) by at least 3 to 1.

    How much lamé and watered silk does your average miner really need to buy?

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 04 15 at 02:02 AM • permalink

  37. 36. richard mcenroe

    A frightening amount!

    You didnt know pricilla queen of the desert was a documentary?

    Nah more $5,000 dollar plasma TV’s and hot cars.

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2006 04 15 at 02:32 AM • permalink

  38. MentalFloss,
    That gas you’re about to connect up would power Montreal’s subway for 300 years

    Posted by Observer on 2006 04 15 at 03:20 AM • permalink

  39. Frollicking, how dare you avoid mentioning Kalgoorlie’s most famous tourist attraction.

    Luxury goods indeed.

    Posted by entropy on 2006 04 15 at 06:13 AM • permalink

  40. Oh going into space won’t stop the blather.  There are already groups who are bitching about everything we’re doing in space.  One bunch I read about goes on about how we’re changing the climate on Mars!  HA!

    And there’s those folks, especially in Russia, who are terribly upset about our diddlin’ around with comets and asteroids.  Seems we’re messing around with people’s astrological charts.  Who knows the untold damage done when NASA blew up part of an asteroid to see if we could change the trajectory.  I tell you, it’s like experimenting on animals.  Who cares if they save the earth from an asteroid.  If it kills all of the humans, then I say let nature take its course.

    I wonder what was powering that guys computer?

    Posted by saltydog on 2006 04 15 at 06:50 AM • permalink

  41. Kyda 20

    Grab your emesis bowl and check this out.

    That chick in the background is a Batman villain from the 3rd movie, right?  4th?  Well, she’s a comic book character of some kind, anyway.

    Rob 22

    Shirley you realize they’d treat terraforming as yet another of humanity’s crimes against nature.

    Neo-Pagan theologians will have a clever answer for that by the time the terraforming actually starts.  But of course it won’t be universally accepted, so you’ll find Protesto-Neo-Pagans and Orthodo-Neo-Pagans sniping at one another for the following few centuries.  And don’t call me Shirley!

    Posted by Stoop Davy Dave on 2006 04 15 at 07:26 AM • permalink

  42. Good to see the knockers are still thriving in Kal.

    Whatever happened to Mona?

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 04 15 at 09:05 AM • permalink

  43. The conventional wisdom is wrong. Oil is a renewable resource.

    Posted by nofixedabode on 2006 04 15 at 02:59 PM • permalink

  44. QUIT BUYING OIL!!!!!!!! Or the economy won’t be worth shit when everything else starts to fail.

    No amount of wealth can fix a broken planet. And then we will see suffering.

    Evidently this asshat didn’t get THIS MEMO:

    The 60 experts, many of whom are European, go on to say that “even if the climate models were realistic, the environmental impact of Canada delaying implementation of Kyoto or other greenhouse-gas reduction schemes, pending completion of consultations, would be insignificant. Directing your government to convene balanced, open hearings as soon as possible would be a most prudent and responsible course of action.”

    The experts conclude:

    “Climate change is real” is a meaningless phrase used repeatedly by activists to convince the public that a climate catastrophe is looming and humanity is the cause. Neither of these fears is justified.

    BrusselsJournal

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 04 15 at 03:10 PM • permalink

  45. It’s Laurie David, again, complaining about how the little people are mucking up the planet.

    Mrs David travels “in chartered Gulfstream jets,” but she complains about hamburger flippers making “$14 to $17 per hour.”

    Satire truly is dead.

    Posted by Bruce Rheinstein on 2006 04 15 at 08:21 PM • permalink

  46. “Starting wages for McDonald’s in Ft.MacMurry are $14 to $17 per hour!!!!”

    How much is that in real money?

    Posted by nofixedabode on 2006 04 16 at 01:42 AM • permalink

  47. About a buck eighty-two.


    /obscure

    /so obscure I can’t even remember where it came from

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 04 16 at 03:09 AM • permalink

  48. $17 Canadian dollars is about $14.78 U.S, or $20.28 Australian.  Assuming no overtime and a 2,000 hour work year, that’s an annual income of $34,000 CAD, $29,560 USD, or $40,560 AUD for flipping burgers at McDonalds.

    Posted by Bruce Rheinstein on 2006 04 16 at 09:19 AM • permalink

  49. Salty 40

    I wonder what was powering that guys computer?

    Yeah, whatever, don’t you have some unfinished business back on the “Unsafety Dance” thread?  I think you do.

    Posted by Stoop Davy Dave on 2006 04 16 at 12:34 PM • permalink

  50. One bunch I read about goes on about how we’re changing the climate on Mars!

    They wish.  I tried for months and months in SimEarth to terraform Mars.  I lobbed giant ice cubes at it, I planted scores of high-tech gizmos, I spent billions of imaginary tax dollars, no joy.  I’m a total failure as a planet-breaking, Gaia-raping, climate-changing RWDB.  *sob*

    Posted by Achillea on 2006 04 16 at 02:02 PM • permalink

  51. The economy is great here in Edmonton but we’re paying for it in global warming. Today it’s 2 deg. Celsius and we’re getting a mixture of snow, sleet and rain. It’s a catastrophe, snow, sleet and rain in April! Normally we only get that kind of weather in March and May.

    Posted by Arty on 2006 04 16 at 06:12 PM • permalink

  52. Achillea — Did you include the lichens to break down the water vapor from the impacting ice asteroids?

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 04 16 at 06:34 PM • permalink

  53. C’mon, Stoopy Dave Dave…I count on you and salty dog for some of the more reasoned and informative submissions to this blog.

    I’ve carefully read the thread to which you refer. A fascinating study of how agreement can be negated by a minor point of difference—magnified by real or imagined insult.

    Unless the thread is closed, why not duke it out over there?

    Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 04 16 at 08:05 PM • permalink

  54. 53
    Fair enough.

    Posted by Stoop Davy Dave on 2006 04 17 at 01:52 PM • permalink

  55. 53 Mental

    Unless the thread is closed, why not duke it out over there?

    HOLY CRAP!  I stopped here, on my way to there, to do another round of the duke-out thing, got there, found exactly the opposite of what I expected to find, stammered out two replies, then that thread DID close!  Whew! 
    Man, we’ve always got less time than we think, don’t we?  I do anyway.

    Posted by Stoop Davy Dave on 2006 04 17 at 02:51 PM • permalink

  56. You mean to tell me that I’ve wasted my afternoon gathering together the strands of facts needed to weave an unanswerable argument, such that you could only stand in awe of my gigantic logical brain!?

    Oh well.  I’ll settle for misunderstandings becoming understandings.  Thanks for that Stoop.  And thanks too, Mental Floss.

    Now I’ve got to try to catch up to everything writen after this!

    Posted by saltydog on 2006 04 17 at 06:53 PM • permalink

  57. Salty 56

    You mean to tell me that I’ve wasted my afternoon gathering together the strands of facts needed to weave an unanswerable argument, such that you could only stand in awe of my gigantic logical brain!?

    Nyahaha!  My timing, she is perfect, no?

    Posted by Stoop Davy Dave on 2006 04 17 at 09:49 PM • permalink

  58. Now that’s why youse all are my heroes!

    Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 04 17 at 11:02 PM • permalink

  59. Sorry to note the lowness of your standards, but never mind that.  Those back threads are sometimes worth checking out, if one is of a mind to hunt trolls.  Dreyfuze, that worm, in particular, likes to wait until a thread has almost dropped off the screen, then post some of his pretentious poppycock upon it, presumably in hopes of its going unanswered.  Sorry to say, that’s worked once or twice.

    Posted by Stoop Davy Dave on 2006 04 17 at 11:33 PM • permalink

  60. Heh heh heh heh heh!  Speak of the devil ...
    Looks like I’d better put on a big ol’ pot of coffee, and kiss the rest of today’s productivity goodbye.  Now where’d I leave those cudgels ... ?

    Posted by Stoop Davy Dave on 2006 04 18 at 09:27 AM • permalink

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