<< SHIRTLESS IN SWANSTON STREET ~ MAIN ~ MORTAR ENEMY >>

GLOBAL AIDSING

Everyone has AIDS! Or they shortly will, due to global warming:

“Climate change will trigger a chain of events which is likely to increase the stress on society and result in higher vulnerability to diseases including HIV,” said Prof Tarantola …

It’s just so obvious.

Posted by Tim B. on 04/30/2008 at 03:32 AM
  1. A timely warning. Just the other day I watched a polar bear drown and to console myself I had unprotected anal sex with a heroin addict.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2008 04 30 at 03:49 AM • permalink

  2. We need to sacrifice some virgins fast, before this gets any worse!

    Posted by bondo on 2008 04 30 at 04:11 AM • permalink

  3. I’ve read some emotive, illogical twaddle on this burning issue, but this takes the biscuit. It’s a bit difficult to arouse any interest in playing hide the sausage when your pubes are on the verge of imminent immolation; if they claimed that alcoholism would rise quicker than excise on kiddy piss, I’d probably concur- I myself don’t mind a well chilled bavarian lager when the mercury climbs, but getting a leg over and thus getting even sweatier than I already am is not a priority. Unless of course it gets so hot that HIV positive people vapourise, and the virus mutates to become aerobic- bloody hell, we’re in real trouble! Turn those lights off now, and empty your fuel tanks into reinforced subterranean resevoirs immediately!

    Posted by Habib on 2008 04 30 at 04:17 AM • permalink

  4. Infidel Tiger
    Cheer up, you die a lot quicker if youd watched a druggie drown and tried to have unprotected anal sex with the polar bear.

    (Id imagine any sex with a polar bear would be pretty well unprotected)

    And to think I used to blame my little brother for squeezing my goldfish till their eyes popped out, when all along it was global warming!

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2008 04 30 at 04:19 AM • permalink

  5. Well i’ve been eating a lot of pies for smoko lately…..The whole construction site wants to kill the Architect….........Workmate reckons his nuts are itchy.

    Its all so clear to me now..

    Posted by sparrow on 2008 04 30 at 04:28 AM • permalink

  6. “And this would effect Australia too, because these infections could potentially spread. Just look at the horror that SARS and avian flu have caused.”

    Unless he’s referring to the epidemic of horrific sensationalist fear-mongering reporting we had, I really have no idea what he’s talking about.

    Posted by Dminor on 2008 04 30 at 04:53 AM • permalink

  7. Will Swan include funding for this new outbreak in the Budget.

    50/50 to Health and Global warming ladies.

    Posted by watty on 2008 04 30 at 04:55 AM • permalink

  8. #2

    We need to sacrifice some virgins fast, before this gets any worse!

    Well, good luck with that, Bondo.

    Posted by kae on 2008 04 30 at 05:00 AM • permalink

  9. Not to mention outbreaks of stupidus idiotus

    Posted by the nailgun on 2008 04 30 at 05:01 AM • permalink

  10. #4
    Infidel Tiger Treadwell

    Posted by kae on 2008 04 30 at 05:02 AM • permalink

  11. #6

    Unless he’s referring to the epidemic of horrific sensationalist fear-mongering reporting we had, I really have no idea what he’s talking about.

    Don’t worry, Dminor, neither does he.

    Posted by kae on 2008 04 30 at 05:03 AM • permalink

  12. #1 Infidel. Anal sex with an heroin addict could get you AIDS, particularly if he/she was alive at the time.

    But this guy’s a PROFESSOR. So what he says must be true, or am I missing something?

    And when is someone on high (or anyone) going to take this Prof Karoly to task. He’s a stoooge for Jones, but to date the only questions I’ve witnessed of Karoly were a few in today’s Australian.

    He seems to be getting a free run.

    Or is he a tough target?

    Posted by mehaul on 2008 04 30 at 05:42 AM • permalink

  13. Hmmm. It gets hot, therefore I drink refreshing ale, get drunk, have unprotected sex with a polar bear who unbeknownst to me is an intravenous drug user, (ICE of course), didn’t use a condom made from penguin intestines (mmmmmmm penguins), makes sense to me.

    We are all doomed.*

    *Worshippers at the temple of gore and left wing loonies with green preferences exempt.

    Posted by surfmaster on 2008 04 30 at 05:47 AM • permalink

  14. When the global warmenists said we were fucked I didn’t think it was by a young black man named Tyrone.

    Posted by Contrail on 2008 04 30 at 05:57 AM • permalink

  15. This Prof Tarantula clown oughtta check his own problems out first….seems that AGW has already caused him? it? to morph into….WAIT FOR IT….SPIDERMAN

    Posted by Rod C on 2008 04 30 at 06:28 AM • permalink

  16. Warmenistas may be all aglow
    At this by Tarantola;
    But why pick on this disease
    Instead of, say, Ebola?
    He may lead us a merry dance
    Akin to tarantella,
    And say that warming arachnids
    Will chomp on your old fella.

    Posted by blogstrop on 2008 04 30 at 06:35 AM • permalink

  17. Interesting combo of professorness.. I once knew a chick who was a lecturer in tectonic stratigraphy and Tantric massage (this latter made her well worth knowing) and another who was a prof in paint chemistry and history of origami -he was a bloke but.

    Posted by Rod C on 2008 04 30 at 06:35 AM • permalink

  18. #1 -Who was on top…or is it behind?..Oh never mind!

    Posted by Rod C on 2008 04 30 at 06:37 AM • permalink

  19. It’s Apple Infected Disk Syndrome, from visiting leftist blogs.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2008 04 30 at 06:48 AM • permalink

  20. Is that as bad as getting worms off them?

    Oh, wait. Do worms have worms?

    Posted by kae on 2008 04 30 at 06:50 AM • permalink

  21. It’s Apple Infected Disk Syndrome, from visiting leftist blogs.

    And here was I thinking it was anally inserted dick syndrome?

    Posted by surfmaster on 2008 04 30 at 06:52 AM • permalink

  22. Just look at the horror that SARS and avian flu have caused.

    I can recall - sitting in Hong Kong during the SARS scare - reading predictions by experts that the death toll over the following 30 days could total tens of millions IF mortality rates rose at the same rate as the last three days (i.e., doubled every day - 1, 2, then 4). The stupidity of this is beyond belief.

    Why are the most hysterical people drawn to study these sorts of things?

    Posted by Hanyu on 2008 04 30 at 06:55 AM • permalink

  23. Tarantola or is that Tarantula?

    He said it was important to strengthen preventative measures proven to work, like condoms and circumcision, and continue to investigate other more hopeful avenues, like microbicide sex gels and anti-viral drugs to block infection.

    Rubbers and male genital mutilation snips as a fore-thought then microbicide sex gels in case. But seems ass only way to erase AIDS.

    Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 04 30 at 07:00 AM • permalink

  24. Why are the most hysterical people drawn to study these sorts of things?

    Not smart enough to find real things to examine and study.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2008 04 30 at 07:05 AM • permalink

  25. Roxon will fix this by slapping a tax on heroin.

    Posted by mr creosote on 2008 04 30 at 07:25 AM • permalink

  26. With a name like that, my first thought was that is should read Tarantara

    Come to think of it the words from the song .. ‘our intentions are well meant’ are the kindest thing I can say for Prof Tarantara. Perhaps he does need some police to come to help him fix things .... [/sarcasm off]

    #23 stackja - actually when I read lines like the one you quoted I wonder if the man has some other agenda.

    Posted by Wand on 2008 04 30 at 07:34 AM • permalink

  27. Bolt has used this line like a baseball bat (and good on him!):
    “Such a phoney. Save the environment, he bellows, while trashing the environment that actually matters most. Our moral one.”
    Well Done

    Posted by blogstrop on 2008 04 30 at 07:40 AM • permalink

  28. #15 Missed you were first with Tarantula did not mean to step your “toes”.

    Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 04 30 at 07:54 AM • permalink

  29. #13
    Won’t all the ICE melt or something when global warming, just before it kills us all?

    Oh, I get it, it’ll be the ICE-less, enraged addicts that do us in.

    Posted by kae on 2008 04 30 at 08:00 AM • permalink

  30. #29 Kae - if the ice melts you must add more scotch.  (and more ice).

    Posted by surfmaster on 2008 04 30 at 08:16 AM • permalink

  31. Global warming is the Left’s anti-embryonic stem cell - it can be anything you want, but all of them are bad.

    Posted by SoberHT on 2008 04 30 at 09:17 AM • permalink

  32. “And this would effect Australia too, because these infections could potentially spread. Just look at the horror that SARS and avian flu have caused.”

    Dminor beat me to the most relevant observation.  The only thing “global warming” is likely to spread is fear and hysteria, accompanied by the scientific hand outstretched for money.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2008 04 30 at 09:51 AM • permalink

  33. I think the Professor’s thinking (?) works like this.

    Global warming makes us hotter.

    We start taking off our clothes.

    Eventually we’re nekkid.

    The sight of all those sweaty, uncovered buttocks drives gays into a frenzy not seen since, oh, the last Gay Pride parade.

    Voila!  More AIDS.

    If I missed a step, no doubt the professor will enlighten us.

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2008 04 30 at 10:36 AM • permalink

  34. #33

    I think you put your finger on the flaw (so to speak), Richard—most people don’t look good nekkid, or even underdressed. Fat, sweaty Americans in shorts, wrinkled-up old French on the beach, hairy Mediterannean types on bikes—you name it, they make tropical vacations a menace.

    Posted by SoberHT on 2008 04 30 at 11:52 AM • permalink

  35. Dr. Tarantola then went on to explain that the only hope for humanity is hybrid spider-people.  “Spider-man in impervious to aids and global warming.”

    Posted by aaron_ on 2008 04 30 at 12:15 PM • permalink

  36. #34 - you left out my least favorite, elderly fat German tourists on the beach.  P.J. O’Rourke once observed that the size of a male German tourist’s swim trunks was inversely proportional to the size of his gut.

    But they’ll be sorry, once the gay heroin addicted Polar bears make it to Majorca.

    Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2008 04 30 at 12:17 PM • permalink

  37. She aint called Gaia (gayer) for nuthin folks

    Posted by Nic on 2008 04 30 at 12:17 PM • permalink

  38. It’s simple. Condoms are made of plastic, which is a petroleum by-product. Since we must cut petroleum use by 80% (per capita), condom use must decline by the same amount. Voila, rampant HIV.

    Posted by zscore on 2008 04 30 at 06:04 PM • permalink

  39. You are all too late.  Global warming = penis theft (see Kinshasa).  I have said it before and I’ll say it again - because of global warming, soon nobody will be able to have sex with anyone.

    Posted by Bohemond on 2008 04 30 at 09:53 PM • permalink

  40. BBC makes astonishing discovery of new climate model that explains the past, going forward: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7376301.stm

    The Earth’s temperature may stay roughly the same for a decade, as natural climate cycles enter a cooling phase, scientists have predicted.

    A new computer model developed by German researchers, reported in the journal Nature, suggests the cooling will counter greenhouse warming.

    However, temperatures will again be rising quickly by about 2020, they say.

    Other climate scientists have welcomed the research, saying it may help societies plan better for the future.

    No shit.

    So were the IPCC wrong in their massive consensus?

    “One message from our study is that in the short term, you can see changes in the global mean temperature that you might not expect given the reports of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC),” said Noel Keenlyside from the Leibniz Institute of Marine Sciences at Kiel University.

    Shocking.

    ...and in a massive tyre-squealing 180 degree turn, the BBC finds a new unperturbed level of hypocricy:

    “We have to take into account that there are uncertainties in our model; but it does suggest a plateauing of temperatures, and then a continued rise,” said Dr Keenlyside.

    ‘No distraction’

    The projection does not come as a surprise to climate scientists, though it may to a public that has perhaps become used to the idea that the rapid temperature rises seen through the 1990s are a permanent phenomenon.

    Now where would the public have got that idea from? Think, think….the BBC? Nature? The IPCC?

    I think we have a clear winner in the Olympic backpeddling competition. Gold medal standard.

    You couldn’t make it up.

    They could, but you couldn’t.

    Posted by John A on 2008 05 01 at 06:27 AM • permalink

  41. Page 1 of 1 pages

Commenting is not available in this weblog entry.

Members:
Login | Register | Member List

Please note: you must use a real email address to register. You will be sent an account activation email. Clicking on the url in the email will automatically activate your account. Until you do so your account will be held in the "pending" list and you won't be able to log in. All accounts that are "pending" for more than one week will be deleted.