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GEAR SELECTED

Speaking of political automotive ignorance, here’s Kevin Rudd:

We’ve been travelling in top gear and now we’ll be putting that gear stick into overdrive for the remaining five to six days.

Mark C. emails: “I doubt he really means to say that they’re now going to use existing momentum and coast with minimal effort from here on.” Hey, maybe he does! After all, it might explain why Rudd was 40 minutes late for his own campaign launch. Or possibly Kevin was obsessing about AFL football:

Mr Rudd usually likens his campaign to climbing Mt Everest or running an Olympic marathon race.

Today, he added a third comparison - three-quarter time at the footy.

“If you’ve been to as many games at the Gabba as I’ve been and seen what can happen in the final quarter, a lot of things can change,” he said.

Kevni, from Queensland, is an AFL fan? Seems so, although at least one insider questions the depth of his knowledge:

I had a coffee with Kevin Rudd, half-time at the Brisbane Lions (Gabba) 3 years ago… decent bloke, though I was of the opinion he knew jack shit about AFL footy.

That’ll secure the rugby league vote. Meanwhile, leftoids are frightened that - just as the Age warned - Rudd isn’t a socialist:

The lawyer of former terror suspect Mohamed Haneef warned protesters at a rally in Brisbane today a Rudd Labor government could be just as conservative as the coalition.

Traceeee Hutchison is wistful for lustfulness:

When I heard Kevin07 utter that classic Keating-esque line about a Labor government extending a hand down to those who needed to be raised up, I physically flinched. It was vintage Keating and all it did was make me wistful — wistful for a time I could feel genuinely lustful for what the Labor Party stood for. But now I just feel dirty and cheapened by an imitation Labor Party, which knows it’ll get my vote even though it hasn’t said a single word to me for some time.

So don’t vote for them. Even Julia Gillard isn’t sucking up to socialists these days.

What a strange and unsettling feeling this is. One week out from an election that looks certain to usher in a Labor government and all I feel is trepidation. I’m scared of false hope. I’m scared that after 11 years of being smashed into unrecognisable submission by John Howard the country is too far gone.

Record employment levels, massive foreign investment, tiny production of so-callled global warming gases ... yep, this is one smashed country. To close, a question for Kevin Rudd from Michael Gawenda:

When did you start calling everyone you meet, including toddlers, “mate”? Was it after you became leader?

Posted by Tim B. on 11/18/2007 at 11:12 AM
  1. Traceee uses metaphors that reveal a lot more about her psyche than she would like, I think.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 11 18 at 12:15 PM • permalink

  2. ‘What colour is Julia Gillard’s hair?’ That’s if they’re lucky enough not to have been sacked without notice overnight under John Howard’s brutal Work Choices regime, of course.

    Red hair…hmmm, wasn’t that color used to identify the commies?

    And God, I didn’t know that you poor souls in Oz, live (or lived, as the case may be soon) under a “brutal” “regime”.

    I shall pray for you OZ, should the likes of this bitch, gains total power. Just as you should pray for the U.S., if OUR bitch, gains total power.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 11 18 at 12:18 PM • permalink

  3. It’s very sad that lefties, mostly rich ones, want a socialist government. I guess they want the metaphorical spankings from Kevvie and Jules, and somehow assume that they’ll be elevated by the government despite the intention of Labor being “to extend a hand down to those who needed to be raised up”.

    Definitely sounds like ripping off the rich to support the poor and offering no incentive to work to me.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 18 at 12:21 PM • permalink

  4. Hmmm 2am - can’t sleep.

    It’s pretty obvious from that piece that Traceeee’s not getting any.(not to mention her recent column with its weird fixation on channels and dredging)

    ‘the aspirant just seemed a little too cocky. Like one of those guys you meet in a bar who knows he’s not going home alone’.

    Desperate or paralytic would be better adjectives for any guy Trace met in a bar who knew he’s not going home alone.

    If Traceeeee’s not the one he’s going home with relieved would also be appropriate.

    Gawenda asks a good question :‘When did you start calling everyone you meet, including toddlers, “mate”’?

    the same applies to ‘fair dinkum’- I can’t remember the last time I heard that phrase used by anyone other than a politician going for the common touch. (Kevni being by far the worst offender).

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 11 18 at 12:21 PM • permalink

  5. 2.30am - me neither, eenie!

    Problem with Socialism is, as it raises one person up with one hand, it’s shoving someone else back down with the other. Then it drops the first person. The better Socialist governments sometimes restrain themselves from jumping up and down on the remains.

    Posted by Dminor on 2007 11 18 at 12:32 PM • permalink

  6. #5 Dminor, That’s one of the best descriptions of socialist governments I’ve heard.

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 11 18 at 12:52 PM • permalink

  7. Julia sez: “But now I just feel dirty and cheapened by an imitation Labor Party, which knows it’ll get my vote even though it hasn’t said a single word to me for some time.”

    This is just how U.S. Leftists I know feel, fearful of The Hillary, yet knowing that she will get their votes. They’ll have that anxiety for another whole year, and they deserve every moment of it!

    BWAHAHAHAHA!

    Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2007 11 18 at 12:55 PM • permalink

  8. I had a coffee with Kevin Rudd, half-time at the Brisbane Lions .... I was of the opinion he knew jack shit about AFL footy.

    Is there anything authentic about Kevni at all?
    (apart from being an authentic bullshit artiste)

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 11 18 at 01:08 PM • permalink

  9. Is the labor party still a shoo-in? Any chance the Coalition will pull out the victory?....or is that just wishful thinking from your cousin across the pond.

    Posted by debi L. on 2007 11 18 at 02:22 PM • permalink

  10. Traceeeee feels lustful for the ALP. Like they didn’t have enough trouble already attracting members.

    Er, so to speak.

    Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 11 18 at 04:41 PM • permalink

  11. “When did you start calling everyone you meet, including toddlers, “mate”? Was it after you became leader?”

    No—the day he joined the NSW Right. Mate.

    Posted by Imre on 2007 11 18 at 05:11 PM • permalink

  12. ...all it did was make me wistful — wistful for a time I could feel genuinely lustful for what the Labor Party stood for. But now I just feel dirty and cheapened by an imitation Labor Party, which knows it’ll get my vote even though it hasn’t said a single word to me for some time.

    So she’s a Leftoid slut. A red ragging trollop who’d vote Labor regardless of the facts. Truly this has been a bonanza week for admissions by Australian journalists about their unfettered biases.

    First it was Barrie Cassidy’s mate saying that journos had given Rudd a free ride and should really be more rigorous in reporting on him after the election campaign when he’s safely over the line.

    Truly, many of these Australian journalists are cheap skanky Leftie tarts who like nothing better than bending over and touching their toes for Labor.

    Don’t worry Traceee. After the election I’m sure there will be ample opportunity for you to savour the delights of the toyshop under Rudd’s verandah.

    Wallahi - kul hum sharmotaat wal majnoun!

    Posted by Abu Chowdah on 2007 11 18 at 05:13 PM • permalink

  13. “smashed into unrecognisable submission by John Howard, the country is too far gone”.

    Ah, I am wistful for the Howard who is not really a relaxed, comfortable conservative but a raving radical revolutionary.

    The electorate obviously is bored by the ‘other John’ and so disagrees with Traccceee.

    The week’s question:
    Will the Humpty Dumpty Siamese Cheshire Cat high wire act of The Egg of Rudd bear fruit, or wither on the vine?

    Posted by Barrie on 2007 11 18 at 05:14 PM • permalink

  14. So close to the line and Kevvy’s going to ease off the RPM, thus saving the planet while winning government. What a legend!

    Posted by Henry boy on 2007 11 18 at 05:37 PM • permalink

  15. Sorry I can’t help but think Kevin is discriminating already. KEVIN Rudd plans for Queensland to become a financial hub for the Asian region.

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 11 18 at 06:17 PM • permalink

  16. I think it means: “OK fellas, hide for the rest of the week. Don’t say or do anything, in case we blow it”

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 11 18 at 09:28 PM • permalink

  17. #8

    (apart from being an authentic bullshit artiste)

    He might be an authentic bullshit artiste. He’s far from adept.

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 18 at 09:38 PM • permalink

  18. Annabel Crabb (surprisingly) has a nice take on the Gillard ‘Ive always been an economic conservative’ thang in todays SMH (even more surprisingly)

    ‘Barrie Cassidy: Julia Gillard, welcome to Insiders. Would you describe your hair as red?

    Gillard: (Laughs) Barrie, we could sit here all day talking about my hair. I’m just pleased I’ve got some. Let’s leave it at that.

    Cassidy: But it is red, isn’t it?

    Gillard: I can certainly confirm that John Howard doesn’t have hair. And Australian working families have noticed that, believe me. And you certainly couldn’t accuse Kevin (laughs) of baldness!

    Cassidy: Yeah, but yours, it’s red, anyone can see that.

    Gillard: Look, to be completely honest with you, I really haven’t thought about it. And I really don’t think it’s the first thing on working families’ minds when they get up in the morning and go to work, you know, ‘What colour is Julia Gillard’s hair?’ That’s if they’re lucky enough not to have been sacked without notice overnight under John Howard’s brutal Work Choices regime, of course.

    Cassidy: OK, but have a look right now. (Presents hand mirror) What do you see?

    Gillard: I see hair that is responsible, that has listened to Australian working families and has a plan for Australia’s future. I see hair that is bursting with new ideas; hair that has worked closely with Kevin Rudd and respects the strong leadership he has brought to the Australian Labor Party. I see hair that is mature enough to understand that Australian working families just don’t have time for arbitrary political labels like “left”, “right”, “red” or “brown”. I see hair that is economically conservative, and deeply attentive to the respected opinions of the Reserve Bank’

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 11 19 at 02:32 AM • permalink

  19. As if the regular reports of teenagers mobbing Kevni07 weren’t enough, newsradio is now running stories of women (well 1 woman) fainting in the Kruddsters presence.

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 11 19 at 02:36 AM • permalink

  20. There is nothing authentic about Rudd. He is a creation, no more a real person than other scripted TV character. He is a sort of Manchurian Candidate, controlled by people outside the public gaze, sprouting lines rehearsed right down to those awkward hand gestures -which if you watch closely are always out of sync. Rudd is an actor but of soapie standard, not Oscar winning. It is a sad indictment of Australia that so many people have been sucked in but then a lot of people wouldn’t miss Neighbours and Home and Away.

    Posted by Contrail on 2007 11 19 at 07:02 PM • permalink

  21. I am truely terrified that Kevvie is going to win and we will be forced to listen to his strangulated speeches for years.
    This morning listening to ABC news through headphones when suddenly, without warning, Julia’s bile sounding sound bite came through and my head felt as if someone was attacking it with a chain saw. They shouldn’t do that to dumb animals.

    Posted by waussie on 2007 11 20 at 12:35 AM • permalink

  22. #21

    they shouldn’t do that to dumb animals

    the dumb animals seem to be lapping it up

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 20 at 12:39 AM • permalink

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