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GAME CLEANED UP

The Australian Football League will tomorrow announce a deal with Origin Energy to buy carbon offsets, the aim being to counter 120,000 tonnes of alleged greenhouse gas emissions generated over the course of a football season.

An easier solution: simply de-list Jason Akermanis. Think of the reduction in newsprint!

(Incidentally, the AFL plan—it wants to be carbon neutral, just like Al Gore, by 2009—has apparently come about through the urging of Collingwood coach Mick Malthouse. Yet another reason to hate us! No links on this yet available.)

UPDATE. We now have a link, featuring Rainforest Mick.

Posted by Tim B. on 09/18/2006 at 02:55 AM
  1. Ah, but do the greenhouse emissions include the emissions from the crowds?  A link please Tim.

    Posted by Wand on 2006 09 18 at 03:02 AM • permalink

  2. Pah!

    Posted by Nic on 2006 09 18 at 03:06 AM • permalink

  3. Imagine how much hot air there would be if Collingwood actually won.

    Posted by Fleety on 2006 09 18 at 03:10 AM • permalink

  4. Tim, people don’t need any reason to hate Collingwood - it comes naturally.

    Posted by Villeurbanne on 2006 09 18 at 03:17 AM • permalink

  5. I WILL KILL YOU FLEETY! KILL KILL KILL ALL WHO INSULT COLLINGWOOD! APOLOGIZE TO MICK MALTHAMMAD (PBUH) FOR TERRIBLE INSULT OR I BURN SCG AND WACA AND SUBIACO! ALL OF FALSE FAITHS!

    imam/off

    Posted by Tim B. on 2006 09 18 at 03:17 AM • permalink

  6. Malthouse has carried on about trees before, but Dimetriou thinks in these dark times (i.e. a Howard government) it is the responsibility of community institutions like the league to stand up and be counted. How to unleash one’s inner Melbourne supporter!

    Posted by Andrew R on 2006 09 18 at 03:19 AM • permalink

  7. Speaking of tiresome jokes (Collingwood), please make fun of Hillun Cluck in the next day or so, Tim. Please…

    PS Go Swannies!

    Posted by BS on 2006 09 18 at 03:22 AM • permalink

  8. As an American, I see no reason why AFL teams shouldn’t be able to jog (at a leisurely pace) from one football ground to the next for matches. I think it would keep them fit and any player with injuries could be carried by his mates. It’s a win-win-win for Australia, the sport, and its players.

    Australia leads the way!

    Posted by JDB on 2006 09 18 at 03:25 AM • permalink

  9. Hmmm #5,

    you’ve got me thinking about the similarities between Collingwood and Islam:

    1. They are both full of fanatics prone to Violence,
    2. Their leaders names start with an ‘M’
    3. They want to be the only team and enjoy putting all others to the sword.
    4. Both have a long history
    5. Both sets of supporters get trampled when visiting holy sites.
    6. Both sets of teams breed like rats so as to produce more ‘faithful’
    7. Despite all their bluster, neither side is particularly successful or good at PR.
    8. Both play the ‘victim’ card.
    9. Both are funded by extremely wealthy adherants.

    Posted by Nic on 2006 09 18 at 03:34 AM • permalink

  10. A non Victorian final 4.  Priceless.

    Go Freo!!!!!!!!

    Posted by deadparrot on 2006 09 18 at 03:37 AM • permalink

  11. Typical socialists. You can’t get change from $10 for a pie and a beer, but you can buy carbon offsets.

    AFL’s major sponsor - Toyota. Don’t they make cars or something.

    Malthouse is a false prophet and a tree hugging wanker.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 09 18 at 03:44 AM • permalink

  12. I would have thought these Victorians in high places would have had more to worry about, in terms of figuring out how to resucitating their mediocre teams to make more of a push in September, to have much time to stuff around worrying about how many greenhouse gases the game emits…

    Do they seriously think they are going to save the world or something???  No wonder the interstaters are thumping those from the “Home of Football”

    Posted by casanova on 2006 09 18 at 03:54 AM • permalink

  13. #9 continued…

    10. Both look back to a glorious period soon after they were founded but have had little recent success.

    11. Despite modern trends embraced by others, both prefer to stick to ancient dress codes (still no clash jumper).

    12. When things don’t go well there is usually an elaborate conspiracy against them to blame.

    Posted by Villeurbanne on 2006 09 18 at 04:15 AM • permalink

  14. Good evening. Working hard, in this busy time for you called. This is my friend and the Boke,just   established, the time is not long. The issue here isthat everybody can see my Boke, Ha-ha, raising some visibility, which caused trouble to ask your forgiveness! We all hope to see. Please! 如烟往事博客 记忆深处博客 漠北孤烟博客 天涯无悔博客 月光城市博客 寂寞如烟博客 三国演义博客 江南记忆博客 青海日光博客 月复西斜博客 马帮茶道 雨天下雨博客 秋日私语博客 苍凉世界博客 把酒问天博客 逍遥过客 铿锵玫瑰 寂寞雨夜 乡下孩子博客 天上人间博客 我心飞翔 尘封往事博客 岁月如歌博客 庐山之恋 三间茅屋博客 wanqiudaocao guyan

    Posted by fengzheng on 2006 09 18 at 04:31 AM • permalink

  15. No way I’m clicking on that link, #14.

    Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 09 18 at 04:51 AM • permalink

  16. You don’t want to see his “Boke” Swinish???  :o)

    Posted by casanova on 2006 09 18 at 05:04 AM • permalink

  17. #14.
    Same to you buddy.

    Posted by chrisgo on 2006 09 18 at 05:14 AM • permalink

  18. Saw a program on (I think) 4 Corners a few weeks ago that was all about clean coal, global warmening, trading in carbon credits and so on and so forth.  There was footage from a conference by a multitude of captains of industry and I thought to myself, “These fellows didn’t get where they are by being dopes so what is going on?”

    For me the clue was that a fellow from Westpac was one of the blokes doing the presenting.  These guys are business men, not scientists.  They know a trend when they see one and they look for ways to make money out of it.  Might help move them up the “corporate responsibility index” too.

    Clean coal is one thing but carbon trading is quite another.  They say “carbon credits” but I hear “scam”; a whole lot of trading going on and fortunes being made and lost and nothing much else.

    Another interesting thing about the show was that they discussed what to do with CO2 liberated in the cleaning of coal.  One thing that is being done in some parts of the world is to inject the CO2 into saline aquifers.  I heard that and thought, “How can it be good to turn saline aquifers into acidic aquifers?” And here’s the answer.

    “If we’re really going to do this in a responsible way, we have to know more about the overall behavior of a carbon dioxide storage system”

    That is, we don’t know the answer.  It might be a very bad thing to do.

    Ah, so much action being taken on the basis of so few facts.  If a doctor did that and didn’t make sure beforehand that you understood the very experimental nature of what was being planned you’d have grounds to sue.

    Posted by Janice on 2006 09 18 at 05:20 AM • permalink

  19. If you ever needed convincing that the AFL is run by gang of feeble minded fools, then wonder no more.

    See what happens when rivers of gold run into the pockets of   former footy players with no business training or acumen.
    Crackpot rubbish like spending cold hard cash on “carbon credits”.  It appears that the AFL board members may have taken one too many thumps in the head in their far distant playing days.

    This Origin Energy mob must be pissing themselves laughing.

    Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2006 09 18 at 05:31 AM • permalink

  20. There was footage from a conference by a multitude of captains of industry

    What I actually meant was

    There was footage from a conference attended by a multitude of captains of industry

    Posted by Janice on 2006 09 18 at 05:34 AM • permalink

  21. If they all went back to Satdy Arvo Fooddy think how much electricity for the lights it would save.
    As Sam Kekovitch would say ‘You know it makes sense’. 
    But they won’t do it, of course. Something about spectators and lifestyles trumops real conservation easily. 
    Burying all that media hot air is also technically impossible.

    Posted by Barrie on 2006 09 18 at 06:01 AM • permalink

  22. Hmm, I know that “boke” is the word for Mongolian wrestling, but I’m still not quite clear what “everybody can see my Boke” is supposed to mean.

    Posted by PW on 2006 09 18 at 06:17 AM • permalink

  23. It’s the Victorian clubs way of getting back into the finals that really count.

    All that air-travel for interstate trips. Just cut the interstate teams from the competition and think of all the carbon not released.

    They can kill 2 birds with one stone. Save the planet and get a Victorian team into the grand final.

    Don’t know what they need to do to get Collingwood there though. That’s a task even beyond Micky Malthouse now.

    Posted by amortiser on 2006 09 18 at 06:24 AM • permalink

  24. I went off Malthouse when he stuck his nose into things he knows NOTHING about in the timber town of Manjimup in South West WA. A guy on probably 500k ++ assisting in destroying blokes livelihoods when they are struggling by on about 50k per year stinks.

    The Eagles should have won 3 in a row with the guys they had playing between 92-94 if only they had a decent coach. The pies and Malthouse deserve each other

    Posted by WhoCares on 2006 09 18 at 06:31 AM • permalink

  25. Unlike some, I will not apologise to the team of peace

    Those black and whites are stuck back in the dark ages.

    Posted by Fleety on 2006 09 18 at 07:01 AM • permalink

  26. Hey Tim, since Aker looks like going to the Bulldogs you can’t delist him. :)

    Posted by Anthony_ on 2006 09 18 at 08:10 AM • permalink

  27. #6 is right. Demetriou is yet another Age-reading latte-sipping chardonnay socialist. I’m not at all surprised the AFL has gone in for this lunacy.

    Re #18, isn’t so interesting that whenever an ‘environmentally friendly’ technology, new age power source or some sort of wacky carbon scheme is brought up, every smarmy opportunist in the country turns up with a hoover to clean out taxpayers’ pockets. You can even see it in the smug, oily bureaucrats who work in the environment deparment. I hate the scum.

    Posted by Art Vandelay on 2006 09 18 at 08:22 AM • permalink

  28. This whole carbon problem is so easy to fix. It’s not being fixed simply because the corporate nazis dont want it fixed.

    All they need to do is build an escalator up to the edge of space. Then, each person, once a day, will take a deep breath of all that carbon stuff and hold it while they ride the escalator up to the edge of space then blow it out real hard so it goes into space.

    The only problem with that program could be… if the carbon formed up into some kind of creepy space monster and threatened to eat up all our satellites and stuff.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 09 18 at 08:48 AM • permalink

  29. Wonderful and long overdue. No Victorian team in the final AFL four. I win $100.

    Mind you, Eddie will still blather on about how Collingwood won five in a row and still hold the record for the AFL. No Eddie, they don’t. The Brisbane Lions hold the record for the AFL (and either the Eagles or Crows might just equal them this year). Collingwood’s so called record was with the VFL, not the AFL, around about the time of the Boer war when there were three teams in the local Saturday arvo local competition.

    Posted by Whale Spinor on 2006 09 18 at 08:59 AM • permalink

  30. Too many “locals” in the last sentence.

    Posted by Whale Spinor on 2006 09 18 at 09:13 AM • permalink

  31. How about getting rid of grass and putting down Wonderturf, or some such artifical product - that’d solve the globule worming problem once and for all.

    Nah ... I must’ve spent too long in Africa

    Posted by jlc on 2006 09 18 at 09:27 AM • permalink

  32. But what of the beer?  Will no one think of the beer?

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 09 18 at 10:35 AM • permalink

  33. The AFL should admit two more interstate teams so we can bask in the glow of a non-Victorian final eight !

    Posted by Ubique on 2006 09 18 at 10:39 AM • permalink

  34. Demetriou is a wanker. I’m ashamed to call myself a Roos supporter with the club having produced this kind of administrator*

    Why doesn’t he donate all this global warming money to grass roots footy which will help country towns.

    Or ban night games to stop the lights. Oh that’s right he won’t get his trillion dollars from Seven and Ten then will he.

    Better yet, reform the woeful tribunal system.

    What a dickhead.

    * Kangaroos performances since Laidley took over have been a bit embarassing anyway, although last year was a false hope. Still we have won more flags in the past decade than Collingwood.

    Posted by The Prez on 2006 09 18 at 10:46 AM • permalink

  35. Does this mean that the phrase, “Pull my finger” will be banned from all AFL stadiums?

    Re. the Chinese stuff, I opened one that had “blog” in its URL [myopera/blog or similiar] and it does look like a genuine blog, with no “Chinese woman Viagra” advertising pop-ups or advertising on the page, but it is all in Chinese ideograms without an English translation. I’ll let you know if I get any spam as a result.

    Posted by andycanuck on 2006 09 18 at 11:23 AM • permalink

  36. Just as a precaution I’ve banned the Chinese commenter. I can’t see why someone who obviously has no grasp of English would bother going to an English-language webpage and dropping a bunch of links in Mandarin other than for spamming purposes. I wouldn’t click on any of those links if I were you.

    Of course, this might be an attempt to get around Chinese censors. If anyone here can actually read Chinese maybe they can tell us if the links are legit or not.

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 09 18 at 11:40 AM • permalink

  37. Malthouse… Malthus…

    Co-inky-dink? 

    I think not.

    Posted by Al Maviva on 2006 09 18 at 09:10 PM • permalink

  38. No spam about 13 hours after the visit. I’ll run Ad-Aware tomorrow later today and see if it finds any odd cookies etc.

    Posted by andycanuck on 2006 09 19 at 12:59 AM • permalink

  39. Andrea, our mate at #14 is obviously just another gibbering Collingwood supporter (why else would he drop into this blog). 

    Being an American, you possibly don’t appreciate the nuances of Aussie Rules culture (or in Colliwobble speak - ‘kultcha’).  The entire post makes perfect sense when read through the Collingwood filter.

    Fair suck of the sav!!

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 09 19 at 06:48 AM • permalink

  40. Everything’s still fine on my end re. spam and cookies/trackers but my screensaver has changed to bouncing footballs with the words “Vic Rules! Go you Blues! VB” scrolling along the bottom. I don’t remember downloading it, but I’ve probably just forgotten.

    Posted by andycanuck on 2006 09 19 at 12:12 PM • permalink

  41. Football league carbon offsets?  What are you feeding those guys?

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 09 20 at 08:12 PM • permalink

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