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GAIA KNOWS DEMOGRAPHICS

Beardy throwback Dave Lindorff looks forward to the drowning of conservative America:

The area that will by completely inundated by the rising ocean—and not in a century but in the lifetime of my two cats—are the American southeast, including the most populated area of Texas, almost all of Florida, most of Louisiana, and half of Alabama and Mississippi, as well as goodly portions of eastern Georgia, South Carolina and North Carolina ...

So what we see is that huge swaths of conservative America are set to face a biblical deluge in a few more presidential cycles.

This is actually bad news for liberals, whose warm, dry cities are about to be invaded by flood-fleeing red-staters. Who all own guns. Nice loft apartment you got here, buddy ...

(Via back-from-vacation James Taranto, who observes that “this sounds a lot like the ‘rapture’ myths propounded by some Christian fundamentalists. Global warmism really does look a lot like religion.”)

Posted by Tim B. on 12/29/2007 at 09:58 AM
  1. and not in a century but in the lifetime of my two cats

    Hmmm… that’s about fifteen to twenty years, max. Definitely in the range of a lucrative wager. Do you think Lindorff would give me some action on that?

    Posted by Dave S. on 2007 12 29 at 10:06 AM • permalink

  2. I have no doubt this guy would gladly sacrifice parts of America to global warming simply to be able to say the right was wrong and the left was right.  I’m sure he’d also sacrifice millions of Americans and Westerners to terrorist bombings rather than to subscribe to the beliefs and plans of the conservatives to combat this scourge.

    Idiot.

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 12 29 at 10:41 AM • permalink

  3. The idiot doesn’t see that most of the major democratic cities are coastal. Conservatives will take their fate in their own hands, liberals will wait for govenment action, who will survive?

    Posted by David A on 2007 12 29 at 10:56 AM • permalink

  4. Florida will go first, so that’s the end of the old folks and those hanging chads. Just build a wall around Orlando and make Disneyworld an island.
    Most of the gulf coast could lose fifty miles and no one would notice. New Orleans would disappear, but I’m tired of hearing about them.
    New Jersey might flood, but there’d be an awful water pollution problem.

    I’m not seeing a lot of downside here. I’m hoping those cats are at least middle-aged.

    Posted by Merlin on 2007 12 29 at 11:14 AM • permalink

  5. His wishful thinking that we are all going to drown is on par with his wishful thinking that Mumia is innocent.

    Posted by Redd on 2007 12 29 at 11:33 AM • permalink

  6. A fella lives his whole life on a dry and dusty continent down under, hoping and wishing for a chance to be rescued by Pamela in that red cozzie… and all you guys seem to care about is who gets to drown first!

    Posted by splice on 2007 12 29 at 11:39 AM • permalink

  7. I didn’t know that the guy who drove the chuck wagon on Rawhide was a writer. How about that.

    BTW, check out the biographical info at the bottom of the linked article: “About the author: Philadelphia journalist Dave Lindorff is a 34-year veteran, an award-winning journalist, a former New York Times contributor, a graduate of the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism, a two-time Journalism Fulbright Scholar, and the co-author, with Barbara Olshansky, of a well-regarded book on impeachment, The Case for Impeachment.”

    Question time:

    A “34-year veteran” of what?

    “A former contributor to the New York Times”: actual articles, or irate letters to the editor about the government’s refusal to fund UFO research?

    Co-author of “a well-regarded book on impeachment”: well-regarded by whom? By anybody besides the authors?

    Posted by paco on 2007 12 29 at 11:39 AM • permalink

  8. There must be a lot of money in writing out and selling crock pot ideas. The whackier the better. There’s always some nut who will buy it.

    Posted by Redd on 2007 12 29 at 12:00 PM • permalink

  9. Who all own guns.

    It’s amazing how idealism will blind people to the obvious, eh?

    Hope your cats like living out of a suitcase, Lindorff. BUAWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 12 29 at 12:26 PM • permalink

  10. Oops.  Sorry, Andrea!

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 12 29 at 12:26 PM • permalink

  11. So he’s planning on taking out the Carolinas, Florida, Louisiana, the South, and the Southwest.

    What are they going to eat?  Lutefisk?

    Posted by Janis Gore on 2007 12 29 at 12:36 PM • permalink

  12. The important thing is that we, on the higher ground both actually and figuratively, need to remember that, when they begin their historic migration from their doomed regions, we not give them the keys to the city.

    Ya know, I really think, deep down this guy would like to see a repeat of the holocaust.

    Only this time, with conservatives being marched into the death chambers. His own personal “final solution of the conservative question”.

    And he probably calls Bush, Hitler!

    Posted by rinardman on 2007 12 29 at 12:52 PM • permalink

  13. I wouldn’t advocate violence to a pair of inoffensive cats, but right now I’m hoping that maybe they have some fatal, but non painful disease.

    No aminosity towards the felines, mind you, but I really want to see how his doomsday scenario plays out.  I think he’ll be surprised and we’ll be laughing.

    Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2007 12 29 at 01:32 PM • permalink

  14. paco, I’m pretty sure he’s a veteran of the Fifth Column Whining 101st Keyboarders.  There’s a ROTC connection to that group at the Columbia J-School, so I’m told.

    And I hear that his Momma really, really liked his book, in spite of her Alzheimer’s.

    Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2007 12 29 at 01:55 PM • permalink

  15. Lindorff’s fantasy exposes the belief system that underlies global warmism.

    Global warmists are true-believing leftists who fled Marxism and Marxism-light when the Soviet Union collapsed. Their new religion holds the same heroes, villains, totalitarian tenets, and apocalyptic mythology as their old religion. Their new religion makes claims to a scientific basis just as their old one did.

    When they turn out to be wrong - again - we won’t tell them, ‘Shut up. we told you so.’ It didn’t work with Marxism, or the ozone hole or acid rain. They have already proved that they prefer fantasy and junk science to reality.

    Posted by lyle on 2007 12 29 at 02:45 PM • permalink

  16. Here’s some background on this moss-faced commie. Absolutely predictable, in every way. I still don’t understand the reference to “34-year veteran”, unless JorgxMcKie at #14 is correct, in which case I understand perfectly.

    Posted by paco on 2007 12 29 at 03:43 PM • permalink

  17. Those cities will be much better places to live after we take over. Far lower crime rates, no pimps and crack whores on the streets, and nice, full jails. Just wait till we clean out the MOMA.

    Posted by rightwingprof on 2007 12 29 at 04:31 PM • permalink

  18. You know, what will also happen is that all those inconvenient negroes will drown, too.

    Posted by Janis Gore on 2007 12 29 at 04:57 PM • permalink

  19. I thought Texas was in the West:  http://miriamsideas.blogspot.com/2007/12/global-warmenist-cant-read-maps.html

    Has that fiend Bush moved it?

    Posted by miriams ideas on 2007 12 29 at 05:36 PM • permalink

  20. Dave needs to spend some time with a good barber.

    Posted by walterplinge on 2007 12 29 at 05:37 PM • permalink

  21. The last lot of US doomsayers predict NYC will go under first. Boston too. Lot of liberals in those parts. LA is on the coast too, including several Hollywood Prius owners at Malibu. San Francisco is steep enough to escape rising seas provided it doesn’t slip under the waves on is own accord due a massive earthquake.

    Posted by Contrail on 2007 12 29 at 06:30 PM • permalink

  22. Amazing.  It’s rare to encounter that level of wankiness without the mention of at least one member of the opposite sex.  You can practically see his hand going a mile a minute under his desk while he mutters, “Then they’ll see what a big man I am, oh yes, oh yes, yesyesYESSSSS.”

    Posted by Achillea on 2007 12 29 at 06:49 PM • permalink

  23. #22 he might enjoy that though. I’m not sure enjoyment is permitted to these people.

    #18, No, ‘cause we’ll give them all guns*, see #9 above.


    *as don’t own ‘em already.

    Posted by wreckage on 2007 12 29 at 07:21 PM • permalink

  24. Who all own guns

    I’ll have to find a few neighbors to help carry my collection.  Maybe a pack mule for the ammunition.

    Whatever.  I think I’d build a houseboat and stay where I’m at rather than willingly move to either coast.  I know how to catch a fish.

    Posted by fclark on 2007 12 29 at 08:00 PM • permalink

  25. I made a horrific discovery over Christmas. My brother, who has always been a Mike-Moore-ish lefty, is actually a 9-11 Truther. In the interests of harmony and a pleasant Christmas, I left the subject alone.

    Posted by daddy dave on 2007 12 29 at 08:25 PM • permalink

  26. If the unacknowledged possibility that the capitol of California, Sacramento and the Sacramento Valley, are going to be an extension of Disneyland’s Finding Nemo submarine ride then I’m now a believer.  All hail Poiseidon!

    Posted by Pat Patterson on 2007 12 29 at 09:15 PM • permalink

  27. Reckon famille Kennedy has made a special deal with Gaia?

    Posted by spot_the_dog on 2007 12 29 at 09:43 PM • permalink

  28. #26 Pat; In re California, here in today’s news is a sillyassed b movie script reported as news.

    Posted by dean martin on 2007 12 29 at 10:19 PM • permalink

  29. probably also enjoys moaning about moral duty to take in every single low-lying pacific island population before they get displaced by the great flood.

    Posted by stahlblume on 2007 12 29 at 11:16 PM • permalink

  30. #25 Daddy Dave, how about introducing him to Bill Whittle?

    Specifically:Seeing The Unseen Pt 1, and Pt 2.

    There is no Pt 3, but these are still great essays from a former liberal who got hit with the reality stick.

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 12 30 at 06:25 AM • permalink

  31. #25 Daddy Dave, sorry to hear about your loss.

    Posted by Captain Sensible on 2007 12 30 at 07:02 AM • permalink

  32. Send your two cats to me sir. Then they won’t have to suffer the angst of being with you when the big catastrophe DOESN’T happen.

    Equally, there will be time for me to reindoctrinate them, so they can enjoy their futures away from the pissant fear that comes with living alongside blood sucking parasites like you.

    Posted by mehaul on 2007 12 30 at 07:39 AM • permalink

  33. We also have the oil.

    Posted by Alan K. Henderson on 2007 12 30 at 08:03 AM • permalink

  34. Oops, that’s the coal map, not the oil map -coal resources map appears on this page. The Oil and Gas Assessment map is here.

    The red states have most of both the oil and the coal reserves.

    Posted by Alan K. Henderson on 2007 12 30 at 08:20 AM • permalink

  35. “The important thing is that we, on the higher ground both actually and figuratively, need to remember that, when they begin their historic migration from their doomed regions, we not give them the keys to the city.”

    I would bet that this guy is perfectly OK with “sanctuary cities” for illegal aliens.

    Posted by Crossie on 2007 12 30 at 09:35 AM • permalink

  36. “The important thing is that we, on the higher ground both actually and figuratively, need to remember that, when they begin their historic migration from their doomed regions, we not give them the keys to the city.”

    I think the post re: guns already took care of this rather neatly. And my own aversion to violence tends to be overridden in the case of moral retardation coupled with nose-tilted smugness.

    Posted by wreckage on 2007 12 30 at 10:16 AM • permalink

  37. JeffS to be fined $50 for unauthorized underlining.

    Posted by mojo on 2007 12 31 at 02:28 PM • permalink

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