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FUTURE FORETOLD

“It is something of a clichéd tradition,” writes Radley Balko, “for a columnist to write a year-end or New Year column that makes exaggerated, sometimes humorous predictions for the next 12 months.”

Very true. At least mine are presented in the novel form of 16th century quatrains.

Posted by Tim B. on 01/05/2007 at 07:07 PM
  1. “A fork in the Rudd.”

    LMAO!

    Has anyone stopped to consider that maybe Nostrodamus himself was only making jokes that are now completely obscure to modern readers?

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 01 05 at 07:48 PM • permalink

  2. I loved it.  The Lil’ Lleyton quatrain cracked me up.

    Posted by Donnah on 2007 01 05 at 07:55 PM • permalink

  3. Oi!  Leave off Our Shane.

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2007 01 05 at 08:08 PM • permalink

  4. A CONSTITUTIONAL amendment alters a nation.

    From now on there is no house of Senators.

    There is only Kochie and Mel and the Sunrise team.

    It is easier this way.

    ———————-

    Great work!

    .

    Posted by boxofmatches on 2007 01 05 at 08:10 PM • permalink

  5. making jokes that are now completely obscure to modern readers?

    Entirely possible as he earlier works were yearly almanacs and beauty and home-making advice to the ladies of the time.  Most almanacs have jokes in them.

    In toms city on the river,
    a teacher of bytes and boops,
    sends electric words of greeting,
    to an island upside down.

    Burma Shave

    Posted by trainer on 2007 01 05 at 08:11 PM • permalink

  6. Anyway Tim, why on earth are you posting now?

    Surely you should be in Canberra at Summernats?

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2007 01 05 at 08:11 PM • permalink

  7. Where’s something for our friends of the other hand? Something linking Hister to HoWARd, maybe with giant puppet heads…

    Posted by lotocoti on 2007 01 05 at 09:23 PM • permalink

  8. :”“:: “”:” ” “:”: “: “: ” :”:  “”;’‘;’;

    “Rocket launcher” by 1.618

    For Sale: $23,9877 900

    Send them back to the goverment and chequ to Andrea @ admin ta.

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 01 05 at 09:32 PM • permalink

  9. p.s. Oh El cid- you make me giggle..

    Hi Tim B, gorgeous one!! smootches.xx

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 01 05 at 09:37 PM • permalink

  10. “After there is great trouble among mankind, a greater one is prepared.

    The great mover of the universe will renew time, rain, blood, thirst, famine, steel weapons and disease. In the heavens, a fire seen.”

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 01 05 at 09:51 PM • permalink

  11. I stopped reading Balko a couple of years ago when it seemed that all he was posting were pictures of his dogs.

    Dog blogging. Yeech!  Is there a lower form of expression in existence?

    Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2007 01 05 at 10:27 PM • permalink

  12. I predict all of these seperation barriers will not cause much controversy. Except the Israeli and Thai ones….

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Separation_wall#Spain

    Im amazed at how many barrier fences have or are to be constructed around the world. Most have economic factors behind them as well. But no bleating from the usual wuckfits over many of them.

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 01 05 at 10:56 PM • permalink

  13. Check out those rugby league references.

    Either the Blair-meister is just trying extra hard to speak the language of his Daily Telegraph audience or he has finally and properly been Sydney-fied.

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 01 05 at 11:52 PM • permalink

  14. Quizmania - caught it for the first time a few nights ago.  It is probably the most boring program I’ve ever seen. 

    In ten minutes (as long as I could bear to watch) they took a whole three phone calls and meanwhile we had to listen to the pretty young thing blathering on about nothing and then repeating the blather, over and over, over and over.

    Posted by Janice on 2007 01 06 at 12:10 AM • permalink

  15. In every part of every land,
    connected with pipes of light,
    a plague is loosed.

    All cyphers, then noughts;
    the server is not available.

    Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2007 01 06 at 12:49 AM • permalink

  16. #11. Yes, it’s called cat-blogging. This guy does it, probably the only thing he even comes close to being accurate about.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 01 06 at 12:53 AM • permalink

  17. O/T but if you have foxtell avoid the history channel for the next 24 hours. They are showing the excerable 9/11 conspiracy “documentary” loose change 2. I watched the first 10 minutes and it straight out Michael Moore stuff.
    I spotted 3 major suppositions made by the filmmaker in that time.
    To foxtells credit they did remove the show from their 9/11 commemoration lineup last year when i and I assume a number of others phoned them and pointed out it would be in extremely bad taste to put it on then.
    Watch it if you have nothing better to do and no heavy objects near your TV.

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 01 06 at 12:56 AM • permalink

  18. Ah yes, Lleyton Hewitt, the man who talks to his own hand…

    And my own humble offering:

    A new marketing strategy
    for the sex industry
    which will join hands
    With the Behemoth known as ‘Coles’
    And strange signs will appear
    At that shack outside La Grange:
    ‘Ten cents off Perlita’

    Posted by JonathanH on 2007 01 06 at 12:58 AM • permalink

  19. PS Great post #12. Long may you frolic.

    Posted by JonathanH on 2007 01 06 at 01:30 AM • permalink

  20. Utterly O/T
    In The Age today (unbelievable actually), there is an interesting article by a GLOBAL WARMING sceptic. Got that peoples, The Age, global warming sceptic. I’m gobsmacked. I can only think that whatever was in the water cooler that livened up The Age’s Christmas party must have left lingering traces. Read it in disbelief….

    David Day goes on “In particular, there remain great uncertainties about the extent to which human activity is responsible for the increase in global temperatures over the past few decades, and whether or not such increases are largely driven by a natural cycle that will reverse itself in coming decades”. The gatekeepers at The Age must have been napping…

    Posted by Bonmot on 2007 01 06 at 01:30 AM • permalink

  21. My kind of humour, loved it.

    Posted by Nic on 2007 01 06 at 01:43 AM • permalink

  22. Am I back in?

    Posted by Jack from Montreal on 2007 01 06 at 02:12 AM • permalink

  23. Looks like I am.

    New year greetings to all from San Pedro Sula, Honduras.

    Posted by Jack from Montreal on 2007 01 06 at 02:14 AM • permalink

  24. I used to be jlc.  Now I’m just confused.

    Posted by Jack from Montreal on 2007 01 06 at 02:16 AM • permalink

  25. From the comments section (Thomas Wertheim of Melbourne):

    Pity he did not predict the farce of a government Australia now has

    Thus Tim should have written, “I predict the farce of a government Australia now has”

    ummh…yeah…

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 01 06 at 03:16 AM • permalink

  26. #24 Jack from Montreal

    I used to be jlc.  Now I’m just confused.

    OK, now we’re confused.

    ;^)

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 01 06 at 03:29 AM • permalink

  27. Jack from Montreal:

    Another Canadian (I assume). Oops, sorry, not Canadian but Quebekker / Quebequois- a separate nation within Canada.  Or is that ‘soverenty association’?  Everyone’s confused!

    I spent a year living in Quebec (waaaaay up north).  Spoke a little French, which did me no good at all of course, as there’s no French spoken up there.  Quebequois is, well, different.  Christ, it was cold - “je me souviens” hehe.

    Is Ben’s Smoked meat still going in Montreal?

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2007 01 06 at 04:28 AM • permalink

  28. SCD - alas, Ben’s closed last month.  Demise hastened by labour action.

    Posted by Jack from Montreal on 2007 01 06 at 08:26 AM • permalink

  29. ‘Only three people will ever see this film’

    DAVID: I think it’s a really, really beautiful film and a very important film.

    MARGARET: I think it’s really terrific.

    who will be the third?

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 01 06 at 08:31 AM • permalink

  30. SCD - alas, Ben’s closed last month.  Demise hastened by labour action.

    Now that’s a tragedy! Labour action?  Sure it wasn’t Sam’s defiance of Bill 101 (at least when I was there, which is while ago now).

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2007 01 07 at 12:11 AM • permalink

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