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FOOD STOLEN

Superheroes Santa Guevara, Spider Mum, Operaistorix and Multiflex storm Hamburg:

The self-styled caped crusaders belong to a movement called Hamburg for Free, a loosely organized network with a simple and alluring ideology: People shouldn’t have to pay for anything they might want. Short on cash? Scuffling for change? No worries! Just walk into a store and help yourself.

Be awed by the cheese-liberating superpowers of these Hamburgy superfriends:

* Superflex: “Familiar with every type of job contract: part time, full time, internship. All the stress led him to a pleasant mutation of his molecules.”

* Operaistorix: “Survived the last few years with the help of his unemployment module.”

* Spider Mum: “In her hands, Ajax and a mop turn into merciless weapons.”

* Santa Guevara: “Dodges all control checks and disappears without a trace. With this power, he is able to escape from the boredom of call centers and university seminars.”

(Via Ushbeti, whose email alert bore this subject line: “News story about Hamburg crazy people.”)

Posted by Tim B. on 07/02/2006 at 12:20 PM
  1. Blush!

    Posted by ushie on 2006 07 02 at 12:23 PM • permalink

  2. Hamburglar?

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2006 07 02 at 12:27 PM • permalink

  3. And once again leftists reveal themselves as spoiled children:

    Hey, I’d like to have a new bedroom suite, but I don’t want to, like, work for it in bad working conditions, like having to stay late sometimes, or even, like, pay for it at all.  So it’s okay if I just go ahead and steal it? Coz, you know, I just want it.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 07 02 at 01:01 PM • permalink

  4. a loosely organized network with a simple and alluring ideology: People shouldn’t have to pay for anything they might want.

    Alluring? It’s called theft. Not too alluring to the theftee.

    Reporters this stupid should be institutionalized for our their own protection.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2006 07 02 at 01:03 PM • permalink

  5. The closing lines of the article:

    Also lost in the myth surrounding the crime, Sievers adds, is a longtime store policy:

    Twice a week, employees box up dated organic produce and other perishables that have been passed over and donate them to a local social-services agency to feed the hungry and the poor.

    That store probably does more to help the hungry than this costumed crew of crazy cartoon kooks ever will.

    Capitalism once again outshines left-wing extremists.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 07 02 at 01:05 PM • permalink

  6. Although we produce the wealth of Hamburg, we hardly have anything to show for it.
    It just makes you gape - how precisely have these people so radically lost touch with reality?

    I truly hope these superheroes are rewarded by their grateful society with a spell in a supermax prison. Maybe they’ll meet some superfriends in there. If they’re really lucky, superBubba and his superslipperysoap will show this crack team of philosophy graduates (with superhonours, no doubt, and few muscles to resist) a whole new meaning of the word “superclosefriend”.

    Posted by James Waterton on 2006 07 02 at 01:10 PM • permalink

  7. "While it sounds like a juvenile mixture of anarchism and anti-capitalism, the people behind Hamburg for Free say they belong to neither camp. The root of their ideology is basic: economic frustration. The port city, with 1.7 million residents, is home to more millionaires than any other German town. But the Mercedes and BMWs clogging the downtown streets belie an unemployment rate of 11.3 percent, and the posh lofts and waterfront estates are a stark contrast to the squatters and homeless who wander the streets.”

    And the moral of the story is: In Germany, the superheroes don’t like winners.

    Posted by Jim Treacher on 2006 07 02 at 01:14 PM • permalink

  8. So now doubt they’re pillaging Mercedes dealerships and gourmet restaurants, right?

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 07 02 at 01:17 PM • permalink

  9. Power to the people! A fight for truthiness, social justice and all that stuff, as another (new and improved) superhero would say.

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 07 02 at 01:35 PM • permalink

  10. #9, not to mention Kobe beef, Manchego cheese, and French chocolates.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 07 02 at 01:44 PM • permalink

  11. But the Mercedes and BMWs clogging the downtown streets
    Er...well, it *is* Germany…

    Posted by James Waterton on 2006 07 02 at 01:47 PM • permalink

  12. The root of their ideology is basic: economic frustration.

    Well, thank God the root of their ideology isn’t sexual frustration.

    Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 07 02 at 01:59 PM • permalink

  13. The April 28 caper generated front-page headlines in Germany

    I totally missed this, but I do feel quite encouraged to continue not buying any German newspapers, now.

    Posted by PW on 2006 07 02 at 02:04 PM • permalink

  14. Twice a week, employees box up dated organic produce and other perishables that have been passed over and donate them to a local social-services agency to feed the hungry and the poor.

    That store probably does more to help the hungry than this costumed crew of crazy cartoon kooks ever will.

    Capitalism once again outshines left-wing extremists.

    A surprising number of grocery stores and supermarkets participate in that, and most don’t even talk about it unless prompted. There’s a lesson in there for every self-esteem challenged lefty who simply has to crow about every single of his good deeds (whether real or imagined) that ever happened.

    The relief organization responsible for this arrangement (they’re present in pretty much every larger town here) is refreshingly non-ideological, too, from what I’ve seen.

    Posted by PW on 2006 07 02 at 02:12 PM • permalink

  15. RebeccaH — If you ever figure out how to dress to shoplift a bedroom set, let me know, cuz I’ve had my eye on a new fridge and wide screen teevee for a while now…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 07 02 at 03:41 PM • permalink

  16. Am I missing something here, or has the WaPo really discovered a hitherto unknown river in northern Germany?
    I’ve always thought that Elba was an Italian island, must be wrong though, what with the Post’s impeccable accuracy and all that.

    Posted by Prester John on 2006 07 02 at 04:24 PM • permalink

  17. #15 RebeccaH — If you ever figure out how to dress to shoplift a bedroom set, let me know, cuz I’ve had my eye on a new fridge and wide screen teevee for a while now…

    Dress?  I was thinking of just backing a U-Haul up to the store and helping myself.  If I put on a superhero costume, that’ll make it okay, right?  Coz I’ll be “liberating” the goods, as it were, from that greedy capitalist furniture store owner.  If you want to pitch in, feel free, I imagine the furniture I have in mind is heavy.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 07 02 at 04:44 PM • permalink

  18. #15 richard mcenroe:

    for the wide screen teevee, I think the proper method is to wait for the Algore Wetification Event to manifest itself in your locality.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 07 02 at 04:49 PM • permalink

  19. Same Headline in Texas....

    Superheroes Santa Guevara, Spider Mum, Operaistorix and Multiflex shot while attempting a supermarket holdup.

    I like mine better.

    Posted by trainer on 2006 07 02 at 04:56 PM • permalink

  20. The woman, blond and soft-spoken, says she used to work in a small clothing store but hated the “bad working conditions,” like having to stay until 8 some nights.

    Well, boo hoo! Spoiled children indeed! Just once, one of them should take a gander through a third world country to see what “bad working conditions” and poor pay really look like.
    Alternatively, they could speak to Texas Bob, I’m sure he never has to work past 8.

    Posted by Not My Problem on 2006 07 02 at 05:58 PM • permalink

  21. Damn- there goes my future career niche! And I already had the Spandex and the specialized weapons lined up, too.

    If these people were in America, I’d say that they were performance artistes who were doing some sort of incredibly complex satire on our American cowboy culture that ignorant rednecks like me are too shallow to understand. Since they’re in Europe, I’ll go with the “insane” aspect.

    But seriously, couldn’t they have bothered to create convincing or, hell, cool super-identities? There are so many workable names unused out there, especially for Robin Hood types: Epitaph, Eclipse, Dust Devil (for the lady calling herself Spider Mum- much more inventive, and would work better with the mop angle), or even strange German reference like Mercedes Bends (great name for a contortionist) or, for the disgruntled, Sour Kraut. Show some creativity, people!

    Yours cordially,

    Catherine (Tungsten Monk)

    P.S. Oh, and ditch the Lycra. Some people can carry it off. You ain’t any of them.

    P.P.S.:And for the record, does anybody know how to pronounce ‘Operaistorix’?

    Posted by Tungsten Monk on 2006 07 02 at 06:19 PM • permalink

  22. Well, thank God the root of their ideology isn’t sexual frustration.

    An ideology in rooting? Sounds like a good idea to me.

    Posted by TimT on 2006 07 02 at 06:39 PM • permalink

  23. These people are the case for gun ownership.

    Posted by Aaron - Freewill on 2006 07 02 at 07:10 PM • permalink

  24. Well, thank God the root of their ideology isn’t sexual frustration.

    Don’t be too thankful just yet. (Some images may be NSFW)

    Posted by Evil Pundit on 2006 07 02 at 07:28 PM • permalink

  25. I don’t see how they can claim to be economically disadvantaged, they can clearly afford some primo drugs.

    Posted by Achillea on 2006 07 02 at 07:48 PM • permalink

  26. "Without the power of superheroes, there is no chance for survival in this city of millionaires. Although we produce the wealth of Hamburg, we hardly have anything to show for it. It does not have to stay like this."

    Yeah well, if everybody did things their way,in a short while the super-economy would super-implode, they’d be sitting around eating dirt and wistfully talking about the good ol’ days when the shops had kobe beef and expensive cheese to steal - fucktards.

    Posted by darrinh on 2006 07 02 at 07:48 PM • permalink

  27. The more things change the more they remain the same.  This same idea, if you can call it that, was common among the New Left in the 60s and early 70s, including amoing the German lefties.  I remember reading editorial commentary by Leo Labedz in an issue of “Survey” from 1968 about a German leftist making just such arguments and announcing that he had “expropriated” some butter, among other things, from the hated bourgeoisie (a grocery store).  To paraphrase Proudhon, “All socialism is theft”.

    Posted by Michael Lonie on 2006 07 02 at 07:57 PM • permalink

  28. "It’s not that we hate rich people, but we want this kind of wealth for everybody. That’s the point,” says the man,... a university student nearing graduation. “We wanted to show that there is rebellion, that you can stand up and fight.”

    It’s all relative, as this guy might have learnt at university if he’d tried.
    I suggest they get down to Darfur, raid the food vans of the international agencies and
    make a few tented refugees ‘rich’ with abundant food too.
    As idiot socialists always have, they still believe it’s just all about Re-distribution.

    Posted by Barrie on 2006 07 02 at 08:23 PM • permalink

  29. Police dispatched a dozen squad cars and a helicopter to the area, to no avail. Two months later, no arrests have been made and no suspects identified.

    OK, let us examine a few things.

    Germany was one of, IF NOT the first to develop ICBM’s (V-2 rockets).

    Germany was the developer of the first fighter JET (Messerschmitt P.1101).

    Germany damn near had the Atom Bomb, first.

    Now let’s see, the police in Hamburg, can’t catch these bozo’s?

    Pardon me BUT something smells worse than Limburger.

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 07 02 at 08:40 PM • permalink

  30. El Cid, don’t forget they also invented UFO’s.

    Sending in squads of police and helicopters seems a bit excessive for a bit of shoplifting.

    Posted by darrinh on 2006 07 02 at 08:52 PM • permalink

  31. P.T. Paco

    Suggestion for your Carnival/Circus, aka Abu Bu-Bu Muslims Only, Inc. Go to Hamburg, your Carny side show freaks await...:).

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 07 02 at 08:55 PM • permalink

  32. We rob from the rich and… um…

    Posted by Vexorg on 2006 07 02 at 09:05 PM • permalink

  33. Am I missing something here, or has the WaPo really discovered a hitherto unknown river in northern Germany?

    For the unfamiliar, the river is the Elbe, not the Elba.

    Posted by Otter on 2006 07 02 at 09:14 PM • permalink

  34. darrinh

    Sending in squads of police and helicopters seems a bit excessive for a bit of shoplifting.

    This is true, but if they can’t catch them with the above, I sense some “police” OR local officials brats (kiddies), as the “Superheroes”.

    Typical middle to upper-middle class little shits, whose “police” OR local official parents would be laughed out of Germany, if found.

    Thusly....Two months later, no arrests have been made and no suspects identified.

    RE: UFOs. I’ve just about decided, for personal consumption, that with all of the Galaxies that exist and god knows how many ‘Earth’ like possibilities, that WE of this planet, just don’t measure up for actual sit down discussions with UFO pilots or their families...lol.

    I mean, what would be opening topic...their Al Goregon and Galactic Warming?..:)

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 07 02 at 09:20 PM • permalink

  35. Al Goregon and Galactic Warming?

    ack, visions of al-goreoids landing in central park demanding to be taken to the polar bears or else suffer the wrath of his imperial baster, Plastic Turkey, who will unleash an army of Robert Manne action figure’s (accessories sold seperately), oh the humanity!.

    Posted by darrinh on 2006 07 02 at 09:30 PM • permalink

  36. OK, let us examine a few things.

    Germany was one of, IF NOT the first to develop ICBM’s (V-2 rockets).

    Nope, V-2s were not intercontinental (the “IC” in ICBM).

    Germany was the developer of the first fighter JET (Messerschmitt P.1101).

    Nope, the Gloster Meteor was the first operational jet fighter.

    Germany damn near had the Atom Bomb, first.

    Not even close.

    Posted by Harry Buttle on 2006 07 02 at 09:33 PM • permalink

  37. This guy is about to graduate from the university and he thinks that the way for everybody to be rich is to steal?  I see that the deterioration of education isn’t confined to the US and Britain.

    Posted by saltydog on 2006 07 02 at 09:34 PM • permalink

  38. So, the WaPo can easily find these superfriends but the Hamburg men in blue (or whatever they wear) cannot. Something tells me Mohammed Atta was right to plan 9/11 in that city.

    Posted by Tommy Shanks on 2006 07 02 at 09:49 PM • permalink

  39. Nope, the Gloster Meteor was the first operational jet fighter

    According to THIS Harry the Gloster was Britain’s FIRST, some weeks after the German, Messerschmidt Me 262, making the Gloster the second.

    Not even close.

    In 1934, Norsk Hydro built the first commercial heavy water plant at Vemork, Tinn, with a capacity of 12 tonnes per year. From 1940 and throughout World War II, the plant was under German control and the allies decided to destroy the plant and its heavy water to inhibit German development of nuclear weapons.
    Heavy Water

    Who then Harry, were the “close” ones?

    Nope, V-2s were not intercontinental (the “IC” in ICBM).

    One this, Harry, you may have a point. Since England is part of the European ‘Continent’.

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 07 02 at 10:03 PM • permalink

  40. One this, Harry, you may have a point. Since England is part of the European ‘Continent’.

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 07 02 at 10:16 PM • permalink

  41. OK-so I shouldn’t have to pay for anything according to these morons, correct?

    Now, I am going to spend this week working on clearing my property which is grown up with bushes and saplings and littered with broken timber from when the previous owner sold the timber off of it.

    So, if I understand these idiot’s theory correctly, I should be able to go up to them, stick my shotgun into their chests, hustle them off to my home and make them work all week for free.

    Instead, I plan to pay some teenage relatives good money for the work-boy what a sap I am.

    Posted by 68W40 on 2006 07 02 at 10:21 PM • permalink

  42. Contrast these bozos with the heroes of Israel’s Entebbe rescue, 30 years ago today. 
    There is a fascinating comparison with ‘suicide bombers’ in this story too:
    http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1150885879544&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FPrinter

    ‘Ofer was a young draftee, one-week short of finishing his mandatory army service and counting the moments to his return to civilian life.
    By the fate of a draw, Ofer would not only be in the squad at greatest risk, but now he would be the team member among them to carry special explosives to break down any necessary doors or walls.
    “I was chosen to go to Entebbe with five kilos of explosives on my back and a detonator in my pockets. Every bullet could have blown me up,” he says.

    But he went to SAVE innocent lives, and heroically survived to tell us..

    Posted by Barrie on 2006 07 02 at 10:24 PM • permalink

  43. #39
    Grains of truth in all of these claims BUT we should never forget that ze Fuhrer’s lab. boys were in the process of developing a coal-fuelled Mach 3 attack aircraft when the war ended.
    It’s true, I swear it! Read it in a much lauded book about 10/15 years ago. Can’t remember the title, but it may have been this:
    Nazi SuperWeapons.
    Quite stunned when I read it. Knew of course that the Irish were developing coal-fired passenger aircraft but the news that Uncle Adolf was 50 years in front of them was a revelation.
    Damn those sneaky Huns.

    Posted by Prester John on 2006 07 02 at 10:42 PM • permalink

  44. Nope, V-2s were not intercontinental (the “IC” in ICBM).

    Easily fixed:  Just call the V2 an Intracontinental Ballistic Missile.  Still comes out as ICBM.

    Posted by jic on 2006 07 02 at 11:26 PM • permalink

  45. Who then Harry, were the “close” ones?

    No-one.  Germany was on the wrong track (though we didn’t know that at the time - which is why the destruction of their facilities was a priority), and no-one else was making any real progress at all.

    Posted by Pixy Misa on 2006 07 02 at 11:30 PM • permalink

  46. Pixy, Japan was on the right track, oddly enough. If their program had on thousandth of the funding of the Directorate of Tube Alloys/Manhattan Engineering District, things could have been quite nasty.

    Posted by Zoe Brain on 2006 07 03 at 12:03 AM • permalink

  47. tungsten monk — óp rah íss tor ix

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 07 03 at 12:20 AM • permalink

  48. People in costumes who steal things from hardworking citizens aren’t usually called superheroes.  They are usually the ones that superheroes beat the crap out of.

    Posted by MikeTheLibrarian on 2006 07 03 at 12:23 AM • permalink

  49. Nope, the Gloster Meteor was the first operational jet fighter

    “According to THIS Harry the Gloster was Britain’s FIRST, some weeks after the German, Messerschmidt Me 262, making the Gloster the second.”

    your own reference states “By January 1945 Jagdgeschwader 7 had been formed as the first full jet fighter Geschwader although it would be several weeks before the unit’s Gruppen were operational with even a handful of aircraft.”

    ie the Meteor was in operational service first, the earlier a/c were on trial rather than operations.

    Posted by Harry Buttle on 2006 07 03 at 12:31 AM • permalink

  50. Nope, V-2s were not intercontinental (the “IC” in ICBM).

    “Easily fixed:  Just call the V2 an Intracontinental Ballistic Missile.  Still comes out as ICBM. “

    Except ICBM is a technical term.

    Posted by Harry Buttle on 2006 07 03 at 12:33 AM • permalink

  51. Except ICBM is a technical term.

    My post was meant as a joke.

    Posted by jic on 2006 07 03 at 12:46 AM • permalink

  52. "The self-styled caped crusaders belong to a movement called Hamburg for Free, a loosely organized network with a simple and alluring ideology: People shouldn’t have to pay for anything they might want. Short on cash? Scuffling for change? No worries! Just walk into a store and help yourself.”

    Got that?  Its simple!  And alluring!  I swear to Mother Gaia, I hope Marx has been roasting in hell since the day he morted for coming up with this adolescent crap in the first place.  The only equality people get from socialism is the equality of a mass grave.

    Posted by Vanguard of the Commentariat on 2006 07 03 at 01:16 AM • permalink

  53. No, you’re all wrong. The first jet engine was developed by the Innuit. I read it somewhere.

    Posted by Daniel San on 2006 07 03 at 01:46 AM • permalink

  54. My post was meant as a joke.

    Sometimes you just need the “/humor” tags, jlc.

    :-(

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 07 03 at 02:04 AM • permalink

  55. #42, Barrie:  Contrast these bozos with the heroes of Israel’s Entebbe rescue, 30 years ago today. 

    Roger that.  Part of my own Fourth of July will be spent watching my videotape of “Raid on Entebbe”, the thrilling icing on the cake of America’s Bicentennial, when for 90 minutes, the IDF brought civilization to central Africa.

    Posted by Bruce Lagasse on 2006 07 03 at 03:13 AM • permalink

  56. Harry Buttle

    your own reference states “By January 1945 Jagdgeschwader 7 had been formed as the first full jet fighter Geschwader although it would be several weeks before the unit’s Gruppen were operational with even a handful of aircraft.”

    ie the Meteor was in operational service first, the earlier a/c were on trial rather than operations.

    The Messerschmitt 262 first flew on July 18, 1942, with the first production version (with a nosewheel) in October, 1942. (By contrast, the first Meteor prototype flew on March 5, 1943, and the first production Meteor I on January 12, 1944) The first 23 evaluation aircraft were delivered to the Luftwaffe in April 1943 when Goering inspected the first test unit and famously asked if they could carry bombs. Hitler himself later asked the same question and demanded that they be equipped to carry bombs, which it was never designed for, setting back full-scale production by months (an Allied raid on the Me262 assembly plant at Regensburg in August didn’t help either).

    The first operational combat unit Erprobungskommando Schenk was formed in April, 1944 and deployed to France in June, ostensibly to sortie against the “real” Allied landings at Calais. The first Me262 combat action occurred in July of 1944, and the first Me262 lost in action was at the end of August. 258-victory ace Walter Nowotny, leader of the Kommando Nowotny jet fighter squadron (it was a smaller unit than a typical Jadgeschwader) was shot down in a Me262 by P-51s of the 357th FG on November 8, 1944.

    The Gloster Meteor’s first combat action was in August, 1944 against V-1 flying bombs and was not deployed to the Continent until January, 1945.

    There is no question that the Messerschmitt 262 was the world’s first operational jet fighter. There are innumerable sources on the internet that make it simple to look up.

    Google search: Me 262

    Google search: Gloster Meteor

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 07 03 at 04:04 AM • permalink

  57. Germany, Japan, Britain, U.S., Fijians, Inter, Intra whatever...it takes one away from trying to figure the mind of stupid bastards whom it seems have enough money to make costumes, BUT not enough to eat.

    OR if it is the fact that they just don’t want to pay, then jail the criminal/vandals...AND they receive BOTH, costume AND food. To bad the general citizenry, still pays on the last option.

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 07 03 at 06:41 AM • permalink

  58. The self-styled caped crusaders belong to a movement called Hamburg for Free, a loosely organized network with a simple and alluring ideology: People shouldn’t have to pay for anything they might want. Short on cash? Scuffling for change? No worries! Just walk into a store and help yourself.

    While it sounds like a juvenile mixture of anarchism and anti-capitalism,

    Huh? It sounds like crime to me.

    Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2006 07 03 at 08:22 AM • permalink

  59. Huh? It sounds like crime to me.

    These clowns see themselves as a modern day “Robin Hood and his band of merry men”.  Although I’d peg them as being more like this.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 07 03 at 09:55 AM • permalink

  60. Sometimes you just need the “/humor” tags, jlc.

    :-(

    As much as I’d like to pass the ‘credit’ for my joke to jlc, he’s a different member.

    Posted by jic on 2006 07 03 at 10:34 AM • permalink

  61. These clowns see themselves as a modern day “Robin Hood and his band of merry men”.

    Except that if you bother to pay attention to the source material, Robin Hood and his band of merry men robbed from the tax collectors and gave to the productive.

    Posted by triticale on 2006 07 03 at 11:48 AM • permalink

  62. Wow. I was going to say something, but after reading the posts I’ve forgotten what it was. Now I have a headache. Guten Nacht.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2006 07 03 at 02:14 PM • permalink

  63. Sorry Spiny but “Erprobungskommando” = “Operational test unit”, operational (in the military a/c sense) = in Sqn service, not on test.

    The Meteor was first.

    Posted by Harry Buttle on 2006 07 03 at 04:03 PM • permalink

  64. Why is it, I wonder, why posts about Germans always turn into posts about weapons?

    Posted by ushie on 2006 07 03 at 04:48 PM • permalink

  65. The Ballad of Dennis Moore:

    Part One:

    (1st scene:  Dennis Moore, the highwayman, steals lupins from stagecoach passengers.  The chorus sings as he gallops through the woods on his way to the peasant hut)

    Chorus:
    Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore,
    galloping through the sward,
    Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore,
    and his horse Concorde.
    He steals from the rich,
    he gives to the poor,
    Mr. Moore, Mr. Moore, Mr. Moore.

    (2nd scene:  Dennis Moore steals lupins from aristocrats at a party)

    Chorus:
    Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore,
    Riding through the night,
    soon every lupin in the land
    Will be in his mighty hand.
    He steals them from the rich
    and gives them to the poor,
    Mr. Moore, Mr. Moore, Mr. Moore.

    (3rd scene:  Dennis Moore take the lupins to a humble hut where he gives them to really, really, poor starving peasants.  The peasants ask for more substantial loot - like money, food and medicine.)

    Chorus:
    Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore,
    Dumdum alum the night,
    Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore,
    Dum de dun dum plight.
    He steals dumdum dun
    And dumdum dum dee
    Dennis dun, Dennis dee, dum dum dum.

    (4th scene:  Dennis Moore goes back to the party of aristocrates, where he steals their gold, silver, and jewellery.)

    Chorus:
    Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore,
    Riding through the woods.
    Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore,
    With a bag of things
    he gives to the poor and he takes from the rich,
    Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore.

    The End?  Well, not really.

    Posted by saltydog on 2006 07 03 at 05:00 PM • permalink

  66. Part Two:  Dennis Moore Rides Again.

    Narrator: Oh, once upon a time, there lived in Wiltshire a young Chap called Dennis Moore.  Now Dennis was a highwayman by profession, and for several months he had been stealing from the rich to give to the poor.  One day…

    (Dennis swings on a rope through a window into a ballroom filled with the same aristocrats he’s been stealing from.  The walls are bare and the people are down to their undergarments.  They sit around a table gnawing pieces of bread and dipping them in a watery soup.  The central bowl of soup contains a lupin.  They all respond to Moore’s entrance with listless moans of disappointment.)

    Dennis Moore: My lords, my ladies, on your feet, please.

    (He is ignored and therefore says commandingly)

    I must ask you to do exactly as I say or I shall be forced to shoot you right between the eyes.

    (They stand up)

    Well, not right between the eyes.  I mean when I say between the eyes, obviously I don’t have to be that accurate.  I mean, if I hit you in that sort of area, like that, obviously, that’s alright for me; I mean, I don’t have to try and sort of hit a point bisecting a line drawn between your pupils or anything like that.  I mean, from my point of view, it’s perfectly satisfactory ...

    First Lady: What do you want?  Why are you here?

    Dennis Moore: Why are any of us here?  I mean, when you get down to it, it’s all so meaningless, isn’t it?  I mean, what do any of us want…

    Buckingham: No, no, what do you want now?

    Dennis Moore: Oh I see.  Oh, just the usual things, a little place of my own, the right girl…

    Grantley: No, no, no!  What do you want from us?

    Dennis Moore: Oh, sorry.  Your gold, your silver, your jewellery.

    Buckingham: You’ve taken it all.

    First Lady: This is all we’ve got left.  (holding up her soup spoon)

    Dennis Moore: That’s nice. Ill have them.  Come on.

    Buckingham: You’d better take the bloody lupin, too.

    Dennis Moore: Thank you very much, I’ve gone through that stage.

    (He grabs the rope and swings out again.)

    Chorus:
    Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore,
    Etcetera, etcetera…

    NEXT SCENE:
    (Dennis Moore rides up to a humble hut.  He leaps off his horse and runs to the door of the hut, throws it open and enters.  Where before the little hut was barren, it is now stuffed with a with all possible signs of wealth and all imaginal treasures.)

    Male Peasant: What have you got for us today then.

    Dennis Moore: Well, I’ve managed to find you four very nice silver spoons, Mr. Jenkins.

    Male Peasant: (snatching the spoons rudely) Who do you think you are giving us poor this rubbish?

    Female Peasant: Bloody silver.  Won’t have it in the house.  And those candlesticks you got us last week were only sixteen carat.

    Male Peasant: Yes, why don’t you go out and steal something nice, like some Venetian silver.

    Female Peasant: Or a Velasquez for the outside, too.

    Dennis Moore: Oh all right. 

    (He mounts his horse and rides off as the chorus sings:)

    Chorus:
    Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore,
    Riding through the land.
    Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore,
    Without a merry band.
    He steals from the poor,
    And gives to the rich,
    Stupid bitch.

    Dennis Moore reins to a sudden halt and looks over to the camera)

    Dennis Moore: What did you sing?

    Singers: (speaking) We sang,,,, “he steals from the poor and gives to the rich.”

    Dennis Moore: Wait a tic...blimey, this redistribution of wealth is trickier than I thought!

    Posted by saltydog on 2006 07 03 at 05:02 PM • permalink

  67. Sorry Spiny but “Erprobungskommando” = “Operational test unit”, operational (in the military a/c sense) = in Sqn service, not on test.

    The Meteor was first.

    Give me a fucking break, Harry. Schenk’s Me262s were deployed to the combat zone, and saw action, ferchrissakes. How many sorties did the Meteor fly against the Luftwaffe? It was as operational in a military sense - “combat operational” - as the Lockheed P-80s in Italy were. Clearly the Luftwaffe and the RAF (and USAAF) defined “operational” very differently. Since they were not constituted as normal fighter squadrons, Kommando Nowotny and Adolf Galland’s JV44 would likely be considered “operational test units” by the Allies.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 07 03 at 09:57 PM • permalink

  68. BTW,

    Google first operational jet fighter and tell me what you find.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 07 03 at 10:44 PM • permalink

  69. Spiny Norman — An historical sidebar:  Chuck Yeager did comparison flights of the P-80 and captured Me-262’s and considered the Shooting Star the superior plane.  Both considerably outperformed the Meteor, which suffered heavily in air combat during the Korean War.

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 07 03 at 11:57 PM • permalink

  70. As much as I’d like to pass the ‘credit’ for my joke to jlc, he’s a different member.

    I really need to wear my glasses when using the computer.....

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 07 04 at 12:55 AM • permalink

  71. Operational is a technical term, it means on Sqn service, not just flown in combat (otherwise every training flight in Germany was an operation, as Mustangs were ranging across most of Germany late war).

    Since you don’t understand the terms, try not to use them - let alone argue about their meaning.

    Hint, the fact that something is on the internet doesn’t make it true.

    Try some real references.

    Posted by Harry Buttle on 2006 07 04 at 01:14 AM • permalink

  72. #64 ushie, because its the Euroweenie equivalent of the Who’s Got the Biggest Pecker game.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2006 07 04 at 01:36 AM • permalink

  73. richard,

    I believe Yeager compared a later-model F-80C against it, which had a significantly more powerful engine and was more than 50 knots faster. Tests in 1945 were against a Meteor III and a P-80A, both of which were slower and less maneuverable at high speed. However, the Me262’s Junkers 004 turbojets performed relatively poorly below 400 knots, where most air-to-air combat occurred, making them vulnerable in a turning fight. It was in mock combat with RAF Meteors that prop-fighter pilots learned how to negate the Me262’s speed advantage. Almost 100 of them were shot down by P-51s in the last 6 months of the war, most of them on takeoff or landing - “rat-catching” was the term Mustang pilots used when they’d loiter near Me262 bases, waiting for them to return. (About 2 dozen more were downed by P-47s and RAF Tempests - the jet’s bases were usually beyond their range.)

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 07 04 at 01:37 AM • permalink

  74. BTW: The Chinese produced an operational trebuchet 800-1000 years before the Europeans.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2006 07 04 at 01:42 AM • permalink

  75. While Ugg the European Neandertal is largely credited with the 1st operational throwing stone, recent discoveries lead us to conclude that in fact Grug the Homo Habilis from Africa produced the 1st operational throwing stone 1.5 million years earlier.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2006 07 04 at 01:47 AM • permalink

  76. A rocket-powered one, no less.

    ;^)

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 07 04 at 01:47 AM • permalink

  77. The trebuchet, that is…

    ::sigh::

    Timing is everything.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 07 04 at 01:48 AM • permalink

  78. Hint, the fact that something is on the internet doesn’t make it true.

    Try some real references.

    Rolfe, D; Winter, W; Byshyn, W; Clark , H (1971) Airplanes of the World.  Wiliam Kimber, London:

    [The Me.262 was the] First operational jet fighter in the world.

    Braybrook, R (1985) Kingfisher Pocket Book of Aircraft. Kingfisher Books, London:

    The Messerschmitt Me 262 narrowly beat the Meteor into service [...]
    Posted by jic on 2006 07 04 at 08:09 PM • permalink

  79. Come on jic!!! Everybody who knows ANYTHING knows that D. Rolfe and R. Braybrook wouldn’t know a Messerschmitt from a Dachsund.

    :-)

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2006 07 05 at 07:03 AM • permalink

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