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FIFTH TEST, DAY THREE

Warne is 70 not out off 61 balls; only McGrath left, though. Gilchrist given out earlier in unhappy circumstances.

UPDATE. If a 160 gram sphere (a cricket ball) strikes an object (Andrew Strauss’s head) at 126 kmh, what is the force of that impact?

Posted by Tim B. on 01/03/2007 at 11:12 PM
  1. Look, my comment is not about cricket.  But it’s important.  Next Monday the Ohio State—

    Why is Andrea waiting over in the corner nodding her head and holding that paddle?  Oh hell, I have to wait 10 comments until I go off topic. 

    Ok ok, I’ll say something about, um, cricket.  Hmmm.  I hope the Aussies get a lot of wickets during the next Test.

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 01 03 at 11:25 PM • permalink

  2. Gilly c&b Billy.
    Billy’s not my b/friend anymore.
    Chris Read knew it wasn’t out too, if you watch his reaction after the decision.

    Wonder if Billy was waiting for Gilly to walk? He sure waited to put up the finger.

    Posted by Ozwitch on 2007 01 03 at 11:29 PM • permalink

  3. I assume this Warne guy isn’t the same guy that makes high-end rings for high-powered rifles?

    OK, criket - just checking.

    Posted by trainer on 2007 01 03 at 11:43 PM • permalink

  4. Is this good or bad news for Australia, Tim? I do want them to win, but I have no idea what you are saying.

    Paco? Gimme some translationatory assistence here!

    Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2007 01 03 at 11:50 PM • permalink

  5. That’s why you never walk. Gilly has walked in the past when he knows he has hit the ball, but this time he didn’t move.

    Supposedly this should signal to the umpire that he did not hit the ball.

    What good did it do him? None whatsoever.

    And for all the pommies who want to argue that Warnie was lucky, I say I’d swap you a Gilly for a Warnie at the crease any day of the week.

    Posted by The Mongrel on 2007 01 03 at 11:50 PM • permalink

  6. Rudely OT reading between overs:

    The political hit-job of the year so far.

    Posted by C.L. on 2007 01 03 at 11:50 PM • permalink

  7. The Poms are already 1/22,still 80 behind.Australia probably won’t have to bat again.

    Posted by Lew on 2007 01 04 at 12:07 AM • permalink

  8. Utterly hilarious, C.L.  I can see John Edwards going for a golden duck when he opens his innings.

    Posted by Kaboom on 2007 01 04 at 12:08 AM • permalink

  9. Is this good or bad news for Australia, Tim? I do want them to win, but I have no idea what you are saying.

    Ah-hem.  I may not be as lucid as Paco, but allow me to assist:

    Gilchrist was given out by the umpire, after the Poms appealed for a him to be out as they claimed to have caught the ball after he snicked it. 

    However, Gilchist is a rare breed these days - a ‘walker’.  ‘Walking’ means to walk away from the pitch, back to the dressing rooms without the need for the umpire to give you out, because you, as a good sport, know you are out.

    On this occasion Gilchrist stood his ground, because he knew he didn’t hit the ball.  Replays showed this to be correct.  (Umpired don’t use the replays aren’t used in these types of decisions.  Why - too complicated to explain here).  In short - we wuz robbed.

    I’m only making this comment to help get the comments past 10 so wronwrit can say someting.  Baseball fans need to wait a bit longer before we get a thread on a game and a scoreline:

    Team 1:  0-0-0-0-0-1-0-0-0
    Team 2:  0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

    At least it is over with quickly.

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2007 01 04 at 12:27 AM • permalink

  10. Ok, I’ll bring it up to 10.

    I think we need to get this ridiculous ‘neutral’ umpire policy dropped. It’s no co-incidence that Australia have had a string of shitty umpires officiating since this policy came into being, and this and the last Ashes series have suffered as a result.

    Posted by 2BarRiff on 2007 01 04 at 12:59 AM • permalink

  11. re the urn and where it should be kept. i can understand the English wanting it held by the winning team, but i think it should remain at Lords.

    There at the home of English cricket it can continue to taunt their team, silently mocking the sheer hopelessness of the poms and continuing to sap their morale

    Hey it’s worked for over a century

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 01 04 at 01:01 AM • permalink

  12. I hope Billy doesn’t try to hug Warne & McGrath as he did with Steve Waugh when he retired. Then again, maybe it would be entertaining to see Warnie’s reaction.

    Posted by brucey bonus on 2007 01 04 at 01:03 AM • permalink

  13. With luck, Warne would headbutt the clown and take out one of the most ridiculous spectacles of the modern game. An umpire who thinks his theatrics are bigger than the game. Sack him from the international panel, the man is a risible joke.

    Posted by CB on 2007 01 04 at 01:27 AM • permalink

  14. #3 Trainer: if it’s anything to do with mounting, Warne ought to be involved.

    I like the QRW bases myself.

    Posted by Ozwitch on 2007 01 04 at 01:35 AM • permalink

  15. eeniemeenie, Beefy has now weighed into the Ashes urn debate on the Australian side but I agree with you that there are good reasons for keeping it at Lords. These are explained in that linked report.

    Posted by C.L. on 2007 01 04 at 01:35 AM • permalink

  16. If a 160 gram sphere (a cricket ball) strikes an object (Andrew Strauss’s head) at 126 kmh, what is the force of that impact?

    Strauss got up pretty quickly. So may I suggest the answer to you force of impact questions is : Not enough.

    Posted by curious george on 2007 01 04 at 01:47 AM • permalink

  17. thanks cl- youve probably seen this but sam loxton calls it ‘bloody nonsense’ and frank tyson thinks the urn should be dropped in the middle of the ocean and forgotten (sour grapes anyone?)

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 01 04 at 02:03 AM • permalink

  18. Jeez, C.L., that piece is smoking around the edges from the impact! 

    Alas, John Edwards remains clueless second only to John Kerry, and that fine article impresses only those with the wit to appreciate a professional hatchet job.

    OK, back to that cricket thing….

    If a 160 gram sphere (a cricket ball) strikes an object (Andrew Strauss’s head) at 126 kmh, what is the force of that impact?

    From the classic formula:

    Force = ma = m*(delta ‘v’)/(delta ‘t’)

    where

    m = 0.160 kg

    v = 126 KPH = 35 meters per second

    Assume t = 0.02 seconds (Strauss has a hard head?)

    Therefore,

    F = 0.16 * 35/.02 = 280 meter-kg/second^2 or 280 Newtons

    For those who use the more convention English system, that comes out to about 62.95 pounds of force. 

    Hope the guy had a helmet on!

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 01 04 at 02:14 AM • permalink

  19. Well, 126 km/h is 35 metres/sec, and .16Kg at 35 m/s will exert a force of 5.6 Newtons.

    A 4 pound (1.82 Kg) sledge hammer dropped from 3.19 metres would result in the same force:

    Force = mass x acceleration
        = 1.82 x 9.8 m/s squared
        = 17.84 N per metre travelled

    Therefore height of 4 lb sledge hammer = 17.84N / 5.6N = 3.19 metres.

    Ouch.

    Then again, I may be completely wrong, as I failed dismally in Physics in secondary school…

    Posted by Kaboom on 2007 01 04 at 02:14 AM • permalink

  20. Shit, TRJ, you just had to show me up in a nanosecond, didn’t you?

    Posted by Kaboom on 2007 01 04 at 02:18 AM • permalink

  21. It was a close run thing, Kaboom.  ;-P

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 01 04 at 02:21 AM • permalink

  22. curious george:

    If a 160 gram sphere (a cricket ball) strikes an object (Andrew Strauss’s head) at 126 kmh, what is the force of that impact?

    Strauss got up pretty quickly. So may I suggest the answer to you force of impact questions is : Not enough.

    Quite so.

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2007 01 04 at 02:21 AM • permalink

  23. If a 160 gram sphere (a cricket ball) strikes an object (Andrew Strauss’s head) at 126 kmh, what is the force of that impact?

    To answer Tim’s question:

    v = finial velocity (0 m/s); u = initial velocity (126 km/h = 35 m/s); t = impact time (assume 0.001 seconds) ; a = acceleration, m = mass of the ball (0.126 kg) F = the applied force to decelerate the ball.

    Using this equations to solve it:

    F = m x (v - u)/t

    = 0.126 x (0 - 35) / 0.01

    =  - 4410N (negative as it is a retarding force)

    Therefore around about 4400 N of force, the equivalent of 440kg resting on your head for one thousandth of a second… ouch

    Posted by Humblogger (the Younger) on 2007 01 04 at 02:23 AM • permalink

  24. Humblogger, 160 grams is not exactly equal to 0.126 Kg.

    God, I hate you people…..

    We’ve gone from my 5.6 Newtons to 280 Newtons (TRJ) to 4,400 Newtons (via Humblogger).

    Brain hurts!!!!

    Posted by Kaboom on 2007 01 04 at 02:28 AM • permalink

  25. I think 1 ms is too short for the impact time, 0.02 sec is probably closer to the true figure, so 280 N in terms of the impact force could be about what it is. That’s not particularly much, equivalent to 28 kg, the damage comes from the small contact area between Strauss and ball.

    Stress = force / area

    So for a small contact area, the stress imparted to Strauss is quite high and can be enough to make things messy if it were not for the presence of a helmet.

    Posted by brucey bonus on 2007 01 04 at 02:29 AM • permalink

  26. kabloom - oops, used the km/h for the mass.

    Should be:

    F = m x (v - u)/t

      = 0.16 x (0 - 35) / 0.001

      =  - 5600N

    I remember reading somewhere that the time taken for a collision between a ball and bat is about a thousandth of a second. I could be wrong though.

    Posted by Humblogger (the Younger) on 2007 01 04 at 02:36 AM • permalink

  27. The time for the cricket ball to decelerate is subject to debate.  It depends on hard Strauss’s head is, the angle of impact, and his posture (i.e., was he leaning into the ball, or was he able to roll with it?).

    So “delta t” can range from 0.02 to 0.001 seconds, although the empirical evidence (i.e., the guy got back up), it’s closer to 0.02 seconds.

    OTOH, he may have a head of granite.  He’s a cricket player, what would I know?!?!?!?  Not to mention Australian.  Try tapping his skull with a ballpeen hammer for comparison.

    Also, as per brucey, the actual stress is something quite different (thanks for the reminder, I’d overlooked that!).  Although I am loathe to estimate the contact area, not knowing the mechanics of a cricket ball.

    I’ll leave that to better engineers than I.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 01 04 at 02:40 AM • permalink

  28. Not wishing (much)pain upon the Poms, but if someone could manage to squeeze a bouncer into the yarpie’s visor grill, that’d be ace. thanks.

    Strauss went down quicker than a $2 tart. Was this fight rigged?

    Posted by CB on 2007 01 04 at 02:44 AM • permalink

  29. OK you smart arses.  NOW calculate the force of Strauss’ brain rattling around inside his skull. 

    Assume period = 2 seconds, and don’t forget to subtract the momentum imparted from his head to the couple of tweety birds circling before his eyes.

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2007 01 04 at 02:44 AM • permalink

  30. OTOH, he may have a head of granite.  He’s a cricket player, what would I know?!?!?!?  Not to mention Australian.

    Hey!  Strauss is a Pom!  An Australian, when hit, just stands there, unflinching looking back at the bowler with contemptuous steely eyes.

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2007 01 04 at 02:47 AM • permalink

  31. #30. Actually, Aussies usually have the very good sense to duck. You are correct on the very rare occasions when the sun gets in their eyes and a blowfly zooms up into their visor at the same time as the ball is in flight.

    Posted by curious george on 2007 01 04 at 02:53 AM • permalink

  32. Tim- Dude, you gotta see this. All of you gotta see this:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6tSyDHXViM

    First, it’s a typically cutesy Japanese commercial for pizza. Then…I can’t explain it. Just go see it.

    Posted by mencken_cynic on 2007 01 04 at 03:13 AM • permalink

  33. Aaah, in the good ol’ days when I were a youngin, a cricket ball weighed five and a half ounces, none of the new fangled “grams”, and when a Pommie batsman was hit in the head, he fell down like a wheatbag off the back of a truck, leaked a bit of claret into the grass, and then staggered off to the safety of the dressing room for the remainder of the day, accompanied by the jeers of the Aussie team, and the derision of various small boys around the ground.
    Of course, cricket was a gentleman’s game back in the day.

    Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2007 01 04 at 03:14 AM • permalink

  34. SK Warne gets Flintoff.

    How good!

    Posted by murph on 2007 01 04 at 03:29 AM • permalink

  35. Bowden is an utter twat.

    Not only did Read not appeal for the catch, Jimmy Anderson barely appealed.

    If I ever meet him, I’m going to snap off his stupid little bent finger and ram it in his left nostril.

    Posted by murph on 2007 01 04 at 03:34 AM • permalink

  36. #32. This is what happens when LSD is one of the toppings on a meat-lovers pizza. Your right, WTF? Speaking of deranged YouTube submissions, here’s The Governator supplementing his enormous wealth in what appears to be an ad for mouthspray/anti-perspirant/toxic chemicals.

    Posted by CB on 2007 01 04 at 03:53 AM • permalink

  37. If a 160 gram sphere (a cricket ball) strikes an object (Andrew Strauss’s head) at 126 kmh, what is the force of that impact?

    According to The Lancet Medical Journal, it is 3245608270982740 Kilonewtons, or roughly enough to kill every man, woman and child in the Sydney Cricket Ground twice.

    Posted by Dan Lewis on 2007 01 04 at 03:55 AM • permalink

  38. Another piss-weak Pom batting display brings forth the ugly realisation that tomorrow (Friday) may be the last (shudder) day of Test Cricket this season.

    Oh woe!  Oh crisis!  What’s a man to do?

    {lightbulb}

    Ahhhhhh… yes…...  There’s the entire one-day series to follow with New Zulund joining England as lambs to the slaughter, if you’ll pardon the pun.

    Wronwright, you’ll like the one-day series.  Instead of a few 5 day games, we have a triangular series with lots of one day games.  Too much cricket is just not enough!

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2007 01 04 at 04:18 AM • permalink

  39. #37 Dan, you made me wet my pants laughing.

    Posted by curious george on 2007 01 04 at 04:25 AM • permalink

  40. There seems to be some confusion over the amount of force transferred to Andrew Strauss’ head.

    Not being qualified myself I contacted a leading medical authority, The Lancet.

    After mulling over the question for a short while and using a set of tools including slide rule and abacus, and with one shoe off, the Lancet answer came back, “15 kilotons of force.”

    So there you have it. About the same amount as at Hiroshima. Lucky he had a helmet on.

    Posted by Jack Lacton on 2007 01 04 at 04:42 AM • permalink

  41. There are a few on this forum who, judging by their posts, still suffering from multiple blows to the head. I suggest “stop continental drift”, “Murph”, and “CB” didnt dodge the odd cricket ball or so. Have you Bozo’s forgotten the 3 or 4 LBW’s that Hayden got away with?
    and BTW, STOP WHINGING, you are winning.

    Posted by harry one on 2007 01 04 at 04:57 AM • permalink

  42. #32

    If you watch enough anime (Japanese cartoons), particularly the silly ones, you’ll see them do things like that. They’re switching between a couple of recognised anime styles, and the Japanese audience would be in on the joke, but you’ll probably get it anyway.

    As for the dancing pizza toppings, well, it’s Japan.  That’s what pizza toppings do.

    Posted by Pixy Misa on 2007 01 04 at 05:00 AM • permalink

  43. harry one

    You are an idiot.

    Posted by murph on 2007 01 04 at 05:11 AM • permalink

  44. How good!  A bath-dodger deciding that Australians who disagree with him about cricket must never have played the game.

    Posted by murph on 2007 01 04 at 05:15 AM • permalink

  45. harry one

    You confuse whinging with taking the piss.  Here’s one way to remember:

    Aussies take the piss.  Poms whinge.

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2007 01 04 at 05:24 AM • permalink

  46. #40 Jack Lacton

    See #37 and more importantly, #39.

    [/smug]

    Posted by Dan Lewis on 2007 01 04 at 05:39 AM • permalink

  47. An Australian, when hit, just stands there, unflinching looking back at the bowler with contemptuous steely eyes.

    You mean as in Justin Langer?
    Aussies call it taking the piss, it’s really whingeing.
    Look at #9…“We wuz robbed”.  Who was the whinger who wrote that?

    Posted by harry one on 2007 01 04 at 05:57 AM • permalink

  48. “Look at the scoreboard…clap clap clap
    Look at the scoreboard…clap clap clap..”

    Hey, harry?

    “Look at the scoreboard…clap clap clap
    Look at the scoreboard…clap clap clap..”

    ad infinitum….

    Posted by CB on 2007 01 04 at 06:14 AM • permalink

  49. #31 - he did duck! Unfortunately he misjudged the ball, and ducked right into it rather than beneath it.

    Posted by blogstrop on 2007 01 04 at 06:17 AM • permalink

  50. #47 harry one

    Christ mate, I think you are serious.  Are you?  Tell me you are taking the piss.  Or are you also so utterly devoid of humour that you don’t recognise the sense in which I made the remarks you quote?

    Do you detect any sense of fun in this thread?  Any at all?

    How about here, here, or here?  Anything?

    I dunno what your politics are but with your effort here, you would fit right in with the grim, mirthless leftoids at Web Dreary.

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2007 01 04 at 06:19 AM • permalink

  51. “Look at the scoreboard…clap clap clap
    Look at the scoreboard…clap clap clap..”

    and so on…

    Posted by CB on 2007 01 04 at 06:37 AM • permalink

  52. #50 stop crying and take a look at yourself. You spend half the day having a go at Pommies with your schoolboy humour, and the minute you get some back you fall apart. Taking the piss out of you lot is like shooting fish in a barrel. One little remark from me and you jump up, mouth open, for the bait. You ask if I get any humour from this site? Why do you think I’m sitting here winding you up? It’s funnier than the comedy Channel.

    Posted by harry one on 2007 01 04 at 06:40 AM • permalink

  53. Oh, so harry one was just “taking the piss”.

    What nonsense.

    Sorry harry one, but making bitchy snide comments about the sporting abilities of people you’ve neither seen nor met is not an attempt at humour.

    Go suck a vinegar soaked lemon.

    Posted by murph on 2007 01 04 at 06:56 AM • permalink

  54. #50 stop crying

    crying?

    and take a look at yourself

    Don’t mind if I do.  Damn fine specimen.  A real winner - like the Aussies.

    and the minute you get some back you fall apart

    Got some back?  Missed that.  Oh!  Your attack is based on the English cricket model.  Good show.  Wizard!

    You ask if I get any humour from this site? Why do you think I’m sitting here winding you up?

    Ah.  ‘Winding up’.  Excellent.  You mean as in Justin Langer? Aussies call it taking the piss, it’s really whingeing.   Winding up.  Yes.  Good show old bean.  Capital, what?

    Here’s Web Dreary’s web site.  I suggest you go there and sharpen up your ‘winding up’ skills against those who are masters of your type of craft.

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2007 01 04 at 06:56 AM • permalink

  55. In the words of a great pommie
    Click

    Posted by harry one on 2007 01 04 at 07:09 AM • permalink

  56. Tim
    Your “FIFTH TEST, DAY FOUR” topic or thread won’t be a long one, apart from any mention Warne, McGrath and Langer might get (and deservedly so).  Pietersen is the only danger, but he has no one left to bat with.  I cannot see England getting another 50 runs, not unless Pietersen stays in and takes most of the strike.  It will be all over by lunch.  And I’ll be there.  I’d like to see Warne come in early and take Pietersen’s wicket, oh harry one.

    Posted by Stevo on 2007 01 04 at 07:16 AM • permalink

  57. # 36- Yeah. I have no friggin’ clue. Totally stumped.

    #42- Dancing toppings, I got no problem with. Cutesy, it’s the Japanese way. And the sudden change in styles- I don’t even blink an eye. It was when…words are so weak to describe. You can’t tell me there wasn’t something deeply, deeply wrong with that person’s psychology. I mean “suddenly, one morning like every other at the Post Office…” strange.

    Posted by mencken_cynic on 2007 01 04 at 07:18 AM • permalink

  58. Dear Harry, I hope this letter finds you well. Have you been watching the cricket on the telly? It’s been smashing. As you are well aware, the Army have been in fine voice this Tour, and have come up with some cracking tunes. This is one that was written for whatsisname, you know, Ole ‘Blue’ Eyes.

    Marcus Trescothick (To the tune of ‘Jesus Christ Superstar’)

    Trescothick, Superstar
    Scores more runs than Tendulkar
    Trescothick, Superstar
    Scores more runs than Brian Lara

    I know it seems a bit off, seeing as the black dog bit before he could get a run on, but who knew huh? Now this one’s an absolute laff. Everyone can ‘ave a go at this ‘un ,Harry.

    Matthew Hoggard
    We’ll drinka drinka drink
    To Hoggy the King the King the King
    He’s the saviour of the England Team
    He’s the greatest swing bowler
    That the World has ever seen

    How funny’s that? I tell ya, your lads really can bring down the house. Especially when Jimmy leads the pack in ...

    Geraint Jones (To the tune of O’ my darling Clementine)
    Geraint Jonesy, Geraint Jonesy
    Must be worth five hundred grand
    He was too good for the Convicts
    So he plays for England

    And let’s face it Harry, Jones wouldn’t get a spot in an Aussie U14 Girls team. Seems only fair he stuffed der Engerlunders. Well, that’s it for now old chum. See you at the SCG Member’s, where all the convicts will be singing…

    “Look at the scoreboard…clap clap clap, Look at the scoreboard…clap clap clap..”
    Just for you Harry. Just for you.

    Posted by CB on 2007 01 04 at 07:28 AM • permalink

  59. O/T: the media are rabbitting on about the torrential rains currently drenching (and flooding) the SW of Western Australia as far across as Esperance.  Record one day rainfall at Leonora.  Not a single word about the so-called 1 in a 1,000 year drought that we’re supposed to be experiencing.

    Posted by Ubique on 2007 01 04 at 07:29 AM • permalink

  60. stevo - half yer luck.  Where will you be sitting?

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2007 01 04 at 07:31 AM • permalink

  61. SCD ... got no idea where I’ll be sitting with Stevo Jr.  Have to pick up the tickets at the SCG before play courtesy of Cricket Australia.  I just hope I’m not sitting in front of that bloody trumpeter ...

    Posted by Stevo on 2007 01 04 at 07:37 AM • permalink

  62. #50 stevo This is what I like, a gloating post but not insulting. yes, I doubt if England will last the first hour. Warne will go out on a high with a 5-0 whitewash to celebrate.

    #58 CB   I wish I could watch it but I have to work. The Barmy army add to the match. They could probably bowl and bat better too.

    Posted by harry one on 2007 01 04 at 07:39 AM • permalink

  63. Have a good day with Stevo jnr, Stevo.  Think you timed it pretty well.

    So we can pick you out, how about hollering “Billy Bowden’s a wanker” at opportune moments?

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2007 01 04 at 07:43 AM • permalink

  64. If a 160 gram sphere (a cricket ball) strikes an object (Andrew Strauss’s head) at 126 kmh, what is the force of that impact?

    Are we talking whole grain or fat free newtons here?

    Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2007 01 04 at 07:51 AM • permalink

  65. SCD

    Well, unless his Mum’s helping him out, I guess Billy is comfortable with being an onanist.

    Posted by murph on 2007 01 04 at 07:52 AM • permalink

  66. #41

    BTW, STOP WHINGING, you are winning.

    If I may pull you up there on one tiny, perhaps even trivial technical point, harry one, old turnip.

    We are not winning. We have won.

    Posted by geoff on 2007 01 04 at 07:56 AM • permalink

  67. I think it’s about time a proper trophy was made for the series. The urn is a bit fragile and also pocket sized. Perhaps a decent sized gold or silver urn could be made, which could be held by the winners.

    Posted by Clankylad on 2007 01 04 at 07:59 AM • permalink

  68. Sorry, the Poms are better at taking the piss than Aussies.

    We are good it surely, but cannot compete.

    I recall some crappy reality show where they dumped a bunch of women on an island somewhere. The pommy chicks had the Aussie girls in tears by day two and couldn’t work out what the fuss was about.

    Better maybe to take the piss out of Americans instead.

    (Note for our American readers actually reading a thread about cricket, the previous paragraph was an example of taking the piss - I love you guys really. No, not in that way ).

    Posted by Dan Lewis on 2007 01 04 at 08:06 AM • permalink

  69. Dan

    I disagree.

    English sporting banter is boring and boorish.

    That said, when I become PM, I will make chanting “Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi” a capital offence.

    Posted by murph on 2007 01 04 at 08:11 AM • permalink

  70. Billy’s fingers have the right curvature ... the umpires’ have their good days and bad days ... I’ve done a bit of umpiring in junior and mens competitions ... no way I’d want to do the job in any higher comps.  By the way, the Kookaburra has a weight of 156 grams when I last looked.  Not unless the ball is being used by Pakistan!  Back to your calculators.

    Posted by Stevo on 2007 01 04 at 08:21 AM • permalink

  71. #42- Dancing toppings, I got no problem with. Cutesy, it’s the Japanese way. And the sudden change in styles- I don’t even blink an eye. It was when…words are so weak to describe. You can’t tell me there wasn’t something deeply, deeply wrong with that person’s psychology. I mean “suddenly, one morning like every other at the Post Office…” strange.

    Uh… I have no idea what you’re talking about then.  Either 12 years of watching anime has fried my brain/inured me to all forms of Japanese weirdness, or there’s something I missed completely.

    Posted by Pixy Misa on 2007 01 04 at 08:51 AM • permalink

  72. So I’ll go back to what I was doing, which was watching Full Moon wo Sagashite.  It’s a cheery little show about a young girl who wants to grow up to be a singer, but develops throat cancer, which means even if they successfully operate she’ll never sing again.  And if they don’t operate, she’ll die.

    And did I mention she’s an orphan?  Oh, you guessed?

    Posted by Pixy Misa on 2007 01 04 at 08:55 AM • permalink

  73. Just in:

    Royal Mail has halted a planned series of stamps commemorating England’s cricketers.

    Apparently, they’re concerned that the public won’t be certain which side they’re to spit on.

    Posted by murph on 2007 01 04 at 09:39 AM • permalink

  74. Clankylad (#67).
    There already is an “Ashes Trophy”. It is a Waterford crystal vase shaped the same as the original Ashes urn, but stands about 35cm tall. The winner of the series holds the trophy.

    Here’s a picture.

    Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2007 01 04 at 10:01 AM • permalink

  75. Leave the little urn in England I say

    Hopefully it will have a little note in front of it

    “Belongs to the Aussies”

    I heard this on ABC radio today while listening to Aggers and Skull when they interviewed the boss of the MCC - the urn is insured for a SEVEN figure sum!

    Posted by aussiemagpie on 2007 01 04 at 10:12 AM • permalink

  76. My thoughts exactly

    Posted by murph on 2007 01 04 at 10:28 AM • permalink

  77. Just read this marvellous bit of sledging from Merv Hughes (from Steve Waugh’s bio written by Peter Fitzsimons)

    Merv told a struggling Pommie batsman

    “I’ll bowl you a f*#%ing piano, ya Pommie pooftah. Let’s see if you can play that!”

    There was a bit of sledging happening between Warnie and Collingwood yesterday along the lines of Collingwood getting an MBE for scoring 17 runs in 2005 Ashes series

    Goodness this is pathetic - cricket has taken over my life - I’ve put down my usual crime thrillers and taken up reading Steve Waugh’s bio with Warnie’s book next

    Posted by aussiemagpie on 2007 01 04 at 10:30 AM • permalink

  78. Strauss is a Pom?  My bad!

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 01 04 at 10:33 AM • permalink

  79. #76 murph

    I agree too - lots of songs referring to our convict heritage and the song about Warnie is truly pathetic

    Now they’ll have to find someone else to bag out

    Posted by aussiemagpie on 2007 01 04 at 10:40 AM • permalink

  80. aussiemagpie

    They are boring and boorish.  The problem is that if you point this out they go on with it more.

    Sitting near Poms at the cricket is like being trapped in a glass cage with a million blowflies.

    Posted by murph on 2007 01 04 at 11:33 AM • permalink

  81. #80 murph

    It didn’t seem so bad last time the Poms were out here - this time it’s the telly and radio as we couldn’t get tickets (so much for the Cricket Family hype!)

    Last time I spent an enjoyable few hours chatting to a lovely lady from Manchester whose hubby had retired just so he could follow his beloved Pommie cricketers around the globe

    It didn’t seem so bad last time - but I reckon there are more of them out here this time

    Posted by aussiemagpie on 2007 01 04 at 11:38 AM • permalink

  82. AussieMagpie

    I should have qualified Poms.  What I meant was Barmy Army Chav Scum.

    Posted by murph on 2007 01 04 at 11:53 AM • permalink

  83. Better maybe to take the piss out of Americans instead.

    If we’re Seppos, wouldn’t it make more sense to put the piss into us?

    Posted by Paul Zrimsek on 2007 01 04 at 12:03 PM • permalink

  84. Talking about hitting things, well, living things, with a ball, watch as Randy Johnson blows up a bird with his fastball.

    Posted by David Crawford on 2007 01 04 at 12:18 PM • permalink

  85. #82 murph

    Rellies of the soccer bums? Or at least perhaps they’re modelling themselves on those delightful Poms who wreak havoc in other countries when their tem is playing there

    Pleas I hope OZ is too far away for them

    Posted by aussiemagpie on 2007 01 04 at 12:21 PM • permalink

  86. I see the rocket scientists are out in force.

    But I suspect that if an English head was involved then the result would be in figs, as in newtons.

    Posted by gajim on 2007 01 04 at 12:49 PM • permalink

  87. This is what I love about Tim’s cricket posts.  Nobody really understands the game, so you eventually start discussing physics instead, and before it’s over, the Brits and Aussies are in a fist fight.  It’s better than color TV.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 01 04 at 01:25 PM • permalink

  88. Cricket?  What about God’s own game - rugby?!  Settling things on the pitch for real... Man, I missing playing second row.

    Posted by Major John on 2007 01 04 at 02:19 PM • permalink

  89. 23# Humblogger
    If the time of impact is ZERO, then the force becomes infinite does it not?
    Which means that it makes no difference whether he is struck by a feather or a ten ton truck.
    Ah but nothing has a zero time of impact i hear you say.
    What about a ray of light hitting a target and deccelerating from the speed of light to zero in zereo time?

    Posted by davo on 2007 01 04 at 02:44 PM • permalink

  90. #87 RebeccaH -

    Nobody really understands the game ...

    Something tells me Tim posts these comments on cricket and rugby just to quiet down the Americans and allow the Aussies to talk amongst themselves.  Exclusionary politics is what is it.

    Meanwhile, the Americans are kicking stones, whittling sticks, crocheting toilet paper covers, whatever they can until the next “comment of general interest” is posted.

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 01 04 at 03:17 PM • permalink

  91. Davo, ray of light (a) does’t have any mass in the strict definition of the term, so it can’t transmit force; (b) travels at a finite velocity anyway (300,000 km/s approx) so impact time > 0.

    Posted by brucey bonus on 2007 01 04 at 04:05 PM • permalink

  92. 1/2 mV^2, as per usual. Kinetic energy.

    Posted by mojo on 2007 01 04 at 04:12 PM • permalink

  93. 1/2 mV^2, as per usual. Kinetic energy.

    Hmmmm…..yes.  That comes to:

    f = (0.5)*(0.16)*(35^2) =98 newtons

    Or 22.03 pounds of force, about 1/3 my original calculations. 

    Since time is not included in this relationship, and mass and velocity remain the same, the estimated deceleration time is probably off.

    Working backwards with f = m * v/t :

    98 N = 0.16*35/t

    t = 0.16*35/98 = 0.057 seconds

    So the deceleration time is longer than my original estimate.

    Therefore, since he got up after the impact, Strauss’s head is 3 times softer than originally thought.

    Or sumpin’ like that.  ;-P

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 01 04 at 04:43 PM • permalink

  94. Oh good lord.  Only thing worse than a thread on cricket is one on physics.  Makes me wonder what these guys did in grade school at recess time.

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 01 04 at 05:01 PM • permalink

  95. Oh good lord.  Only thing worse than a thread on cricket is one on physics.

    Nice try, wronnie; one on baseball would be just aweful.

    First baseball test score-line:
    0-0-0-0-0-1-0-0-0
    0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

    Second baseball test score line:
    0-0-1-0-0-0-0-0-0
    1-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

    Third baseball test score line:
    0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-2
    0-0-0-0-0-0-2-0-0

    Just trying to being the septics into the discussion (takes cover).

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2007 01 04 at 05:21 PM • permalink

  96. These tests, y’all have to study for them? They open book? or more like pop quizzes?

    What percent of your total grade are they? Is it like a mid-term? or is it like a certification thing?

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 01 04 at 05:33 PM • permalink

  97. Grimmy:  Its certainly ‘open book’ this Ashes series!

    Be prepared for ball-by-ball bliss today as we finish off the Poms.  Crickinfo, eat your heart out.

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2007 01 04 at 05:55 PM • permalink

  98. I think all the septics are in the tank for the opposition, SCD…

    Posted by mojo on 2007 01 04 at 06:06 PM • permalink

  99. Until Tim starts the new thread (which will possibly be too late:

    Pietersen out first over to McGrath.  Poms effectively 6/12.  Game over before lunch?

    Poor Stevo!

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2007 01 04 at 07:14 PM • permalink

  100. I guess that edge was big enough that even Billy had to give it out.

    Posted by brucey bonus on 2007 01 04 at 07:19 PM • permalink

  101. Yeah, this isn’t going to last until midnight (UK time). Still, it’ll cleanse some of the bandwagon-jumpers who joined after the previous ashes series. They don’t realise that following English cricket is a spiritual thing, where the general state is misery, redeemed by occasional flashes of joy. Despite the score, I’d be in Sydney now, if I could, because it’s nice, and cheap, and the people are friendly and it isn’t the middle of winter…

    Posted by Clankylad on 2007 01 04 at 07:24 PM • permalink

  102. Monty out by a mile, why would anyone take a dodgy run to Symnods??

    Posted by brucey bonus on 2007 01 04 at 07:30 PM • permalink

  103. Ta Ta Monty.  Poms effectively 7/12

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2007 01 04 at 07:31 PM • permalink

  104. Farewell Mr Read.  Poms effectively 8/20

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2007 01 04 at 07:40 PM • permalink

  105. 8/20 now, only pity is that McGrath won’t be able to pick up a bag in his last outing. Maybe he can open the batting with Warne, they won’t be needing much.

    Posted by brucey bonus on 2007 01 04 at 07:40 PM • permalink

  106. 9/21, two for Glenn, nice seam movement into Saj.

    Posted by brucey bonus on 2007 01 04 at 07:45 PM • permalink

  107. ‘Bye ‘bye Mahmood.  Poms effectively 9/21.

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2007 01 04 at 07:45 PM • permalink

  108. Not a single run until the 28th ball of the morning. Not even the Red Sox ever folded quite like this.

    Posted by Paul Zrimsek on 2007 01 04 at 07:46 PM • permalink

  109. Nice to see the 1000 wicket milestone in matches when Warne and McGrath have played together.

    Posted by brucey bonus on 2007 01 04 at 07:50 PM • permalink

  110. went to the SCG yesterday.  thought the BA were remarkably quiet.  certainly not the boorish mentality that some commentors here and Norm Geras thinks.

    i sat in a mostly aussie section of the ground and the people i spoke to seemed to enjoy their antics and thought they added to the atmosphere. 

    i toured SA with them in 95 and WIndies in 98.  the songs have become very jaded and uninspiring but the people are essentially the same.  lower middle class, mainly northern, law abiding, pot-bellied and sunburnt, good folk just out here for a good time.  and the bugler is great. 

    most of the BA i caught up with are appalled by Freddie’s captaincy, distraught at the selection policy and in love with Monty. but overall just conceding that this is a vastly superior Aussie team, which will hopefully be largely retired in 2009.

    Posted by pommygranate on 2007 01 04 at 08:16 PM • permalink

  111. Nice script fro McGrath, taking a wicket with his final delivery in test cricket.

    Posted by brucey bonus on 2007 01 04 at 08:23 PM • permalink

  112. Well, I guess this means the poms get a bath.

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 01 04 at 08:25 PM • permalink

  113. OK, all gone.  McGrath gets the last wicket with last ball of his test career.

    46 to win.  Now, just have to engineer Langer to get the winning run.

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2007 01 04 at 08:26 PM • permalink

  114. 46 to win.  Now, just have to engineer Langer to get the winning run

    Well if he’s still out there when the winning runs are to be hit then I’m certain that Hayden (or Ponting, or whoever) will make sure that Langer hits them.

    In fact I think Clarke slowed down in Adelaide to let Hussey hit the winning runs.

    Posted by AnthonyC on 2007 01 04 at 08:54 PM • permalink

  115. Oh. My. God.

    Nothing more to say.

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 01 04 at 09:19 PM • permalink

  116. Well if he’s still out there when the winning runs are to be hit then I’m certain that Hayden (or Ponting, or whoever) will make sure that Langer hits them.

    Well now don’t I look silly.

    Posted by AnthonyC on 2007 01 04 at 09:21 PM • permalink

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