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EXPENSIVE AL
Big Al hits Calgary:
Climate change crusader Al Gore stepped into Canada’s energy heartland on Monday and warned global warming is the most dangerous crisis humans have ever faced.
I like when Al warns us mere humans of these problems. It shows that even ExPandoBots from other planets have feelings.
The Columbia glacier in the Alberta Rockies, the source of water for many rivers and streams, is melting rapidly, he said.
Thus delivering more water, presumably.
As for the here and now, Gore said Albertans need look no further than the mountain pine beetle invasion of the province’s forests, a pest that was once kept in check by long, cold winters.
Down with bio-diversity!
His Academy Award-winning documentary, An Inconvenient Truth, has played around the world, grossed $45 million US, and occupies several shelves of many Calgary movie rental stores.
Why aren’t people renting it instead of leaving it on those shelves?
Roughly 1,800 tickets to his talk Monday night at Jack Singer Concert Hall sold out in three days, most of the seats costing $159.
They must be way comfy.
In Regina, where Gore also spoke Monday, SaskTel covered the $208,000 tab to put on the event, which included Gore’s $125,000 fee.
Whoa!
Not everyone was keen to see Gore in Calgary. A small group of protesters blasted his message as fear-mongering, contending carbon dioxide created from burning fossil fuels is not contributing to global warming.
“Al Gore and Chicken Little,” read a sign carried by a protester dressed in a yellow chicken suit. “Partners in false panic.”
He’s no false profit, though, at $125,000 per speech. Why might Gore need all that cash?
Friends of Al Gore have secretly started assembling a campaign team in preparation for the former American vice-president to make a fresh bid for the White House.
Climate change crusader Al Gore stepped into Canada’s energy heartland on Monday and warned global warming is the most dangerous crisis humans have ever faced.
You know, this could be damn handy for any President who is inclined to take the nice easy path.
—1917, Lusitania is sunk by a German U boat = Woodrow Wilson declared to the press “Who cares about some British luxury liner? The glaciers are melting as we speak. Let’s focus all our attentions on that”.
—1941, Pearl Harbor is bombed in a sneak attack by Imperial Japan = President Roosevelt, in a speech before Congress, counseled for patience and understanding. “Japan has reasons, legitimate reasons to fear the US. We should take this opportunity to apologize to Japan and offer words of peace and friendship to our ally across the Pacific. The enemy is not each other, but the greenhouse gasses that are melting the polar ice cap. Yes, in the name of humanity, I urge you, nay, DEMAND THAT YOU DECLARE WAR !!! on carbon emissions”.
Posted by wronwright on 2007 04 25 at 03:13 PM • permalinkIf the Goracle does decide to run, everything he has said or done for the last ten years is going to be parsed, deconstructed, and ripped into tiny little bits, and he’s going to look a whole lot less like the carbon-neutral earth-savior he claims he is. That power-munching mansion in Tennessee and all those carbon offsets he buys from himself are going to hurt his image, solar panels be damned.
But there are probably enough people who buy into his Imminent Environmental Apocalypse lie that it’s just possible he could win the presidency. God help us, then. He’ll be trotting out the apocalypse every time we need a tough decision from government, like what to do about suicide bombers in the Mall of America or DisneyWorld.
What the hell is with those damn yanks sending us their cast off nutbars? We get stuck with draft dodgers, dope smokers, Clinton was here a year or two ago, some Kennedy spawn preaching at us and now Algore. And all this because we Canadians have a long undefended border with the USA. Hey, homeland security, watch out we don’t start stopping some yanks at the border on grounds of mental deficiency.
I thought the Americans were supposed to keep the wretched refuse of the teeming shore. Algore is wretched refuse fer shure, eh?
Q: What is the exact mechanism of global warmening?
A: It’s an Al Gore rhythm.Friends of Al Gore have secretly started assembling a campaign team in preparation for the former American vice-president to make a fresh bid for the White House.
“He hasn’t asked them to do this, but nor has he told them not to.”
Oh, Al, you coquettish little tease, you. Do jump in. The rest of the Dem field has become predictably tedious. You could be just what the doctor ordered.
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 04 25 at 03:41 PM • permalinkIn his worldwide snapshot of retreating glaciers, bigger and more devastating floods, and landscapes turned bone dry from prolonged drought, the former U.S. vice-president offered backyard examples to the audience, which included Alberta Premier Ed Stelmach, Calgary Mayor Dave Bronconnier and dozens of oilpatch executives.
So we’ll get floods and draughts at the same time. Brilliant, Al,Posted by hollingshead on 2007 04 25 at 04:34 PM • permalink181 nominations for 2007 Nobel Peace Prize
OSLO, Feb 22 (AFP) Feb 22, 2007
A total of 181 people and organisations have been nominated for the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize, the Nobel Institute said on Thursday, with former US vice president Al Gore and Malaysia’s ex-premier Mahathir Mohamad known to be on the list.The awards are always formally presented on December 10, the anniversary of Alfred Nobel’s death.
After algor wins, his speaking engagement price, EXCEPT for CAMPAIGN speeches will be astronomical.Of course the slimy asshat is running, expect the Clintons, to give algor the Julius Caesar treatment.
The Columbia glacier in the Alberta Rockies, the source of water for many rivers and streams, is melting rapidly, he said.
WRONG! The glacier is not the source of water, the ANNUAL SNOW AND RAIN FALL IN THAT BASIN is the source. No doubt some of the water comes from glacier melt, but by no means all of it.
What, does Gorezilla view glaciers as some sort of water repository?
And thus an acronym will be repurposed for another worthy cause.
BUAWHAHAHAHAHA! Good catch, PW!!!
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 04 25 at 04:48 PM • permalink#1) Don’t assume his purpose is to win. Being a candidate has perks that no other job has. Status. Glory, cheering crowds for a year. Nearly unlimited expense account for all your whims. Looks great on a resume. Generates speaking fees for years after the election. Media adulation lasting a lifetime. And losing means never having to pay back campaign debts. (Cents on the millions of dollars!)
Posted by nofixedabode on 2007 04 25 at 04:48 PM • permalinkglobal warming is the most dangerous crisis humans have ever faced
Yeah, an extra couple degrees on the thermometer is soooo much worse than bubonic plague, genocide or global thermonuclear war.
Algor is beyond parody. Though South Park did a pretty good job…
#14 nofixedabode
#1) Don’t assume his purpose is to win. Being a candidate has perks that no other job has. Status. Glory, cheering crowds for a year. Nearly unlimited expense account for all your whims. Looks great on a resume. Generates speaking fees for years after the election. Media adulation lasting a lifetime. And losing means never having to pay back campaign debts. (Cents on the millions of dollars!)
Failed Vice-Presidential CandidateYeah, that looks great on a resume.
But we’ve always been at war with Gorethermia.
BTW, in the Regina appearance, tax money paid for most of the (empty?) seats. Kate at Small Dead Animals has three posts about it for those interested. (“Calvert” is the New Democratic Party socialist-lib provincial Premier.)
Posted by andycanuck on 2007 04 25 at 07:10 PM • permalinkA college friend of Mr Gore has recalled in print he was “stoned” a lot of the time.
I think this might explain it. Although the fact that Al Gore flunked out of divinity school, to go on to become divine himself says something about how education may be overrated.
#27 kae:
Q. What’s the best part about flashbacks?
A. They’re totally free.Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2007 04 25 at 07:40 PM • permalinkI guess there should be an additional tagline.
Q. What’s the best part abaout flashbacks?
A. They’re totally free.
Pay in the ‘60s, enjoy today.Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2007 04 25 at 07:41 PM • permalinkActually El Cid, the picture you have there is the future for Gay Americans. Under Sharia law, which they invite through their support of treasonous conduct by the Democratics, this would be their fate.
But they hate Bush more than a group of murderous thugs who would execute them for their lifestyle choices, on the grounds that those thugs are authentic.
#5 Fred Zed,
The enviro-mentalists are like the Pope and the rhythm method of contraception in their sanctification only of solar and wind energy: It doesn’t work!
They can appear to be reasonable about energy while actually being opposed to it.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 04 25 at 08:08 PM • permalink#10 Mahathir Mohamad ! Gad, he’s an islamic supremacist. What’s he done?
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 04 25 at 08:11 PM • permalink#10 El Cid
expect the Clintons, to give algor the Julius Caesar treatment.
Let’s hope so. It will also heavily dent the enviro-mentalism of it all.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 04 25 at 08:14 PM • permalink39 Wimpy Canadian
The Clinton’s are nasty people, interested only in the Clinton’s. No one will wrest the nomination from the Clinton’s, except through large gaffe, on their part.
Recent history has proof though, that if anyone can make a large gaffe, the Clinton’s can. Nailing them to a wall has been tough, but they have made them.
40 kae
Ummm well…I did have to take a laxative.
#
What the hell is with those damn yanks sending us their cast off nutbars? We get stuck with draft dodgers, dope smokers, Clinton was here a year or two ago, some Kennedy spawn preaching at us and now Algore. And all this because we Canadians have a long undefended border with the USA. Hey, homeland security, watch out we don’t start stopping some yanks at the border on grounds of mental deficiency.
And we’re keeping Nicole Kidman, too. Nyeh.
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 04 25 at 08:40 PM • permalinkSay, that joke would have worked better if the poster had been Australian, not Canadian, wouldn’t it?
feh. Move to a funnier country, dammit.
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 04 25 at 08:40 PM • permalinkThe Columbia glacier in the Alberta Rockies, the source of water for many rivers and streams, is melting rapidly, he said.
It’s the sheer gob-smacking ignorance of these people that gets me. The Columbia Glacier is in Alaska. The Columbia Glacier like every other glacier is the source of one river/stream. His GoreDimness confused the Columbia Glacier with the Columbia Icefield in Canada, the source of multiple glaciers and hence rivers.
But when His Goreness speaks, who cares about facts.
#45 This is terrible news. How will Al Ramsey fit all those quotations onto the page?
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 04 25 at 09:30 PM • permalinkThe
DemoncratsDemocrats will be over the moon if Gore runs for the White House.
Many, many ordinary Democrats thing it is about time the US picked a president from another family. This Bush-Clinton-Bush-Clinton think is too much to bear.
Obama is just too far out of left field. No experience, a foreign father, Muslim schools and worst of all for a black man, no slave heritage. His election would be a setback for black America, not an advance. It will be saying black folks are equals provided they are not descended from slaves.But Gore. He is a demi-God. He would cream the other two if he runs. His problem is his opulent liefstyle. It will get a lot more interest as a presidential candidate.
#45 - Fish shops are outraged. Fairfax readers are certifiable.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 04 25 at 10:10 PM • permalink#49 Don’t go 1.6 - in all sincerity you are an essential part of the commenting fabric here.
As for Tim - as my grandmother used to say, there are few heartaches that cannot be mended by stalking.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 04 25 at 10:14 PM • permalinkPlease don’t go 1.6. Tim, help us out here!
Posted by dean martin on 2007 04 25 at 10:54 PM • permalink#59 I am outraged by the activities of the Climate Change Coalition.
Clearly, someone needs to start up a Stop Climate Change Party to try and put an end to their evil deeds.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 04 26 at 12:13 AM • permalink#59
When you read the manifesto of CCC, nowhere is it clear what their position on climate change is - that is, whether they are for or against.
I suspect this is a very clever ruse that raises money so Patrice can go to China and drop matches down coal mines.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 04 26 at 12:43 AM • permalinkI want to thank you so much you really lift my spirits. Margo’s you even made me laugh with stalking, Tim B it’s not I never knew there was so many coincidences. The reason why I came to your site was Grandpa liked you in the Bull. I wanted to be close to him so I blogg you.Then Gramps passed away. I still miss him alot. I don’t Not stalk you! If you think so, I’m not trying to.
Best stick with us 1.6 - if you commented at an SMH blog you would only get sadder. The Web is a dark, large and lonely place.
Plus, if you have a mind to, I find this is the safest place for posting insults about Tim.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 04 26 at 12:52 AM • permalink1.618, where else could you find out about this chucklefest!!!
Saturday, May 12
2007 Green Left Weekly comedy debate. Does politicians’ hot air contribute to global warming? Join the fabulous Rod Quantock and a brilliant team of comedians who are not afraid to tackle the burning question of 2007. 7pm. Brunswick Town Hall, Cnr Glenlyon & Sydney Rds, Brunswick. $10/$20/$30 solidarity price. Bookings 9639 8622.
Im afraid I wont be attending as Id rather make love to a belt sander than watch Quantock!
Anyone who wants to attend could try a mini-zombie on the crowd. Should be funnier than the acts Id imagine.Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 04 26 at 09:21 AM • permalink#23) kae
Successful Vice-Presidential Candidate!
And he’s done well with the whole “Former Presidential Candidate” thingy. If
this is failure, sign me up!
(But, you know Algore won in 2000? You know that, don’t you?
Posted by nofixedabode on 2007 04 26 at 12:39 PM • permalinkAs for the here and now, Gore said Albertans need look no further than the mountain pine beetle invasion of the province’s forests, a pest that was once kept in check by long, cold winters.
Was that true during the Medieval Climactic Optimum, when the Vikings were farming in Greenland?
Or how about earlier, when the Romans were growing grapes in England?
Yeah, thought so.
#77) - Al who?
“Big Al”. Subject of this article and subsequent thread. Do try to keep up. Thanks ever so much.
Posted by nofixedabode on 2007 04 26 at 07:16 PM • permalinkI know everyone here will be shocked, alarmed, flabbergasted and baboozled beyond rational thought by this article.
Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 04 27 at 02:11 AM • permalink
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Fageddaboudit, Al. You couldn’t get elected dog-catcher.