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EVERYMAN AL

Latest news from the alternative reality inhabited by the Sydney Morning Herald’s Alan Ramsey:

Anyone who saw Packer’s appearance at the 1991 parliamentary committee hearing on the Australian print media has not forgotten his sneering, boorish behaviour.

In fact, Kerry Packer’s appearance before that commitee was massively popular. By “anyone”, Ramsey—who is one to talk about sneering, boorish behaviour—means himself.

Posted by Tim B. on 02/19/2006 at 04:36 AM
  1. Fair bloody go, Tim.  I’ve just had dinner - any you go and mention Ramsey.

    Have a bit of consideration could you, please?

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 02 19 at 04:52 AM • permalink

  2. Nice lamb chops, but the way & delicious Rockford Basket Press shiraz.  I thunk I’ll have acothr bettle

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 02 19 at 04:53 AM • permalink

  3. Ha ,ha,ha, he thinks it was UNPOPULAR!!! Packer would have shit it in if he run for PM the day after.
    No wonder the left cant win elections if they think that actualy tarnished Packers image.
    Clue meter is reading zero.

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2006 02 19 at 04:55 AM • permalink


  4. Clue meter is reading zero.

    ooh, close to the SMH’s circulation figures, come to think of it.

    Posted by benson swears a lot on 2006 02 19 at 05:05 AM • permalink

  5. Ramsey’s a ‘Milf Magnet’- Bet on it!

    Posted by Lucky Nutsacks on 2006 02 19 at 05:24 AM • permalink

  6. As I recall, the following day there were numerous callers to John Laws suggesting Packer for the next Prime Minister.

    It must have been his sneering, boorish behaviour.

    Posted by Dan Lewis on 2006 02 19 at 05:35 AM • permalink

  7. Sigh

    You have to remember that Ramsay is an inverse indicator. He is always SO wrong that you just invert what he says to obtain something approximating reality.

    Remember, he cooed and fawned on the genius Latham, who was going to ‘thrash Howard at the election and bring the revived genius of the sublime Gough back to take Australia to glory.’

    Translation: ‘ Howard will win crushingly at the next election and move further away from the stupidities of the moron Gough that cretin latham wanted to re-impose, which policies would have flushed Australia down the toilet.’

    See? It is easy if you know how.

    MarkL
    Canberra

    Posted by MarkL on 2006 02 19 at 05:49 AM • permalink

  8. Ramsey of The Bullshit Flow

    I had written him a letter which I had, for want of better
    Knowledge, sent to where I met him down the paper, weeks ago,
    He was lying when I read him, so I sent the letter to him,
    Just “on spec”, addressed as follows: “Ramsey, of The Bullshit Flow”

    And an answer came directed in a writing unexpected,
    (And I think the same was written with a thumbnail dipped in tar)
    ‘Twas Mike Carlton who wrote it, and verbatim I will quote it:
    “Ramsey’s gone to hidin’, and we don’t know where he are.”

    In my wild erratic fancy, visions come to me of Ramsey
    Gone a-writing “down the pub” where the leftie journo’s go;
    As the readers are slowly stringing, Ramsey walks behind them singing,
    For the journo’s life has pleasures that the bloggers never know.

    And the left hath friends to meet him, and their whiny voices greet him
    In the murmur of their wheezes and in the pub in its bars,
    And he sees the vision splendid of the truth extended,
    And at night the former glory of his Whitlamite stars.

    Ramsey is sitting in his dingy little office, where a stingy
    Ray of sunlight struggles feebly down between the houses tall,
    And the foetid air and gritty of the dusty, dirty city
    Through the open window floating, spreads its foulness over all.

    And in place of leftish prattle, he can hear the fiendish rattle
    Of the, bloggers and the politicos making hurry down the street,
    And the language uninviting of the reading public fighting,
    Comes fitfully and faintly through the ceaseless tramp of feet.

    And the harrying bloggers daunt him, and their accusing faces haunt him
    As they shoulder one another in their rush for truth, haste,
    With their eager eyes and greedy, and their intellectual brains and speedy,
    For bloggers have time to grow; they have time to waste.

    And I somehow rather fancy that I’d like to change with Ramsey,
    Like to take a turn at writing where the beers come and go,
    While he faced the round eternal of the broadsheet and the financial journal -
    But I doubt he’d suit the truth, Ramsey, of “The Bullshit Flow”.

    Posted by CB on 2006 02 19 at 06:01 AM • permalink

  9. CB, you are a freakin’ genius.  If that doesn’t get into the ‘Best Poems 2006’, well, there’ll be blood on the wattle.  On the main topic, every so often, one is privileged to witness one of those moments where someone cuts throught the bullshit of public discourse: I remember Packer’s ‘tax minimisation’ moment, and it was one of those.  With a keyboard dipped in tar, yours,

    Posted by cuckoo on 2006 02 19 at 06:20 AM • permalink

  10. Thank you, thank you, I’m here all week..try the fish…

    Posted by CB on 2006 02 19 at 06:24 AM • permalink

  11. CB

    I dips me lid!!

    Might be lost on our non-Oz fellow blogwarriors - Sorry

    Posted by Rod C on 2006 02 19 at 06:54 AM • permalink

  12. I saw Packer before this committee and he behaved like a shit.  Full stop.

    The fact that behaving like a shit may be popular is good news for people who behave like shits I guess.

    Posted by Inurbanus on 2006 02 19 at 07:12 AM • permalink

  13. For those who don’t recognise CBs sheer genius handiwork (I nearly had to buy a new keyboard!), he has taken Banjo Patterson’s classic Clancy of the Overflow to a new level.

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 02 19 at 07:20 AM • permalink

  14. Inurbanis:
    If I recall correctly the committee treated him like shit accusing or alluding to him engaging in criminal behaviour - tax evasion.

    He just dished it back better than he got to the delight of the ordinary punters.

    Posted by amortiser on 2006 02 19 at 07:20 AM • permalink

  15. I dips me lid to the Chief Bastard, aka CB. (#8)

    If Banjo was still kicking, he would buy the beers.

    Outstanding.

    Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2006 02 19 at 07:34 AM • permalink

  16. Inurbanis:

    Just drop dead won’t you?  We are enjoying CB’s adaptation of “Clancy of the Overflow” right now.

    Thank you, that’s a good mononeurone.

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 02 19 at 07:36 AM • permalink

  17. Best performance ever in front of one of those venal witch-hunts that pass for senate committees; he treated the assembled hacks with the contempt they deserved, and which they are held in by the majority of taxpayers- the look of their assembled slack-jawed dials was as if he’d sprayed fresh shitmist o9n them.

    How dare a lowly citizen question their right to extort money from the servile populace, hence to piss it down assorted bottomless dunnies.

    Well done BTW, Mr Bastard.

    Posted by Habib on 2006 02 19 at 07:36 AM • permalink

  18. Only a retard like Ramsay would think politicians deserve to be treated with anything but boorish sneers. Although a good few need treating with Asuntol.

    Posted by Habib on 2006 02 19 at 07:39 AM • permalink

  19. Here’s one I wrote many years ago with a little help also from Banjo Patterson.

    The Capitalist’s Lament

    Once a budding capitalist started up a business
    Under the impression that initiative was the key
    And he sang as he worked and toiled till his profits flowed
    You’ll be amazed at what possible when your free.

    Chorus: You’ll be amazed, you’ll be amazed, you’ll be amazed at what possible when you’re free
    And he sang as the dollars flowed into his bank account
    You’ll be amazed at what’s possible when you’re free.

    He hired a gang of workers who shared in his prosperity
    Each was dependent on the other you see
    And they sang as their pay increased with more production
    You’ll be amazed at what’s possible when you’re free

    Chorus:

    Along came the Treasurer, armed with the Assessment Act
    Down came the social workers one, two, three
    Give us the dollars you’ve got in your bank account
    You’re now working for us don’t you see

    And they sang as they looted the profits of the capitalist
    You’re now working for us don’t you see.

    Chorus:

    The harder he worked the more they all demanded
    The burden became impossible to bear
    He tried tax avoidance but they milked him in retrospect
    Initiative is destroyed when men are not free

    And they sang as they struck the fatal blow against him
    This is the age of social justice they cheer

    Chorus:

    Up got the capitalist and shut down his business
    You will never make me a slave said he
    And his records may be found at the bottom of the harbour
    Initiative is destroyed when men are not free

    You’ll be amazed, you’ll be amazed, you’ll be amazed at what possible when you’re free

    And he sang as the country all collapsed about him
    You’ll be amazed at what’s possible when you’re free.

    Posted by amortiser on 2006 02 19 at 07:52 AM • permalink

  20. Great stuff CB and amortiser. When’s the stage review start?

    Posted by Srekwah on 2006 02 19 at 08:54 AM • permalink

  21. packer was great at that hearing. as i’ve said before, when the tax act is as thick as 3 house bricks, it is the right, nay duty, of very citizen to drive a large truck through each & every loophole that may be found. that’s not tax evasion, it’s tax avoidance, which is perfectly legal & ought to be a national sport until there is a flat tax spent on useful things not flim-flam like arts grants & diversity workshops

    and while i’m on about misuse of tax, are there any other victorians here who resent their money being spent on the bloody commonwealth games fiasco while our schools & hospitals fail the community?

    Posted by KK on 2006 02 19 at 09:06 AM • permalink

  22. every citizen - pimf bugger it

    Posted by KK on 2006 02 19 at 09:07 AM • permalink

  23. If Packer wasn’t a tax evader, he was proud of being a tax avoider and the rest of us PAYE mules who pay our fair share without the benefit of teams of accountants admire him for that.

    After schmoozing the Liberal and Labor alike, it was only the Senate who stood up to the ambitions of a would-be media monopolist. They treated the great man with deference and he behaved like the shit and Geelong Grammar bully boy he was.

    Drift 16, that’s an expensive drop.  Hope you enjoyed it.

    Posted by Inurbanus on 2006 02 19 at 11:00 AM • permalink

  24. Well right now you’re the one behaving like a shit, Inurbanis. Time to stop it.

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 02 19 at 11:47 AM • permalink

  25. Hey Andrea, go easy, you know that since the cleaning work has dried up, trolls add meaning to my otherwise empty existence.

    I try to be their friends, but after they’ve used me, they never call, they never write…

    I know that Ramsey has been criticised for using excessive quotations in the past, but it’s time for this criticism to stop. Have you seen his original work?

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 02 19 at 04:46 PM • permalink

  26. CB, a greatful nation dips its lid to you.

    Posted by vinny on 2006 02 19 at 04:48 PM • permalink

  27. Senator McHugh asked Packer a question based on evidence given at the Costigan Royal Commission and Packer responded

    ”...you’ve given me an example of something that I was exonerated from and hijacked into before, and you’re sitting here under parliamentary privilege dragging that up again. I think you’ve got a damned hide!"

    He must have felt that the witch hunt was going to start again so with one blow he took her out.

    Like him or not, he was his own man.

    Posted by rog on 2006 02 19 at 05:08 PM • permalink

  28. ALP Senator Jeanette McHugh read from Packer’s evidence to the Costigan commission on how he had kept cash in a safe to help a friend get around foreign investment rules.

    Packer: I thought that was a privileged document …

    McHugh: I’ve just given you an example, Mr Packer …

    Packer: You’ve given me an example of what?

    McHugh: Of how if people need to get around …

    Packer: You’ve given me an example of something that I was exonerated from and hijacked into before, the Costigan inquiry, and you’re sitting here under parliamentary privilege dragging that up again … I think you’ve got a damned hide.

    Posted by rog on 2006 02 19 at 05:19 PM • permalink

  29. Correction: ALP Minister McHugh

    Posted by rog on 2006 02 19 at 05:26 PM • permalink

  30. #21 In WA the hospitals are on overload, no beds, ambulance bypass but not to worry, we are going to have a very strange looking [like a swan eyeing its fundamental]sports stadium for only $160 million.
    Only the Labor Party could.

    Posted by waussie on 2006 02 20 at 12:38 AM • permalink

  31. Speaking of the ALP and sports facilities, has anyone looked into the possibility of converting any or all of the already built/soon to be built Queensland Government (ALP) sporting arenas into dams?

    Just wonderin’.

    Posted by kae on 2006 02 20 at 12:59 AM • permalink

  32. It’s all very well to pass judgement on Packer’s appearance before the Senate sub-committee, his attitude towards the tax system and the like, but it’s worth remembering

    * tax evasion is illegal

    * tax avoidance is not

    * Packer suggested that it was everyone’s right to minimise their tax liabilities legally and that anyone who did not do so was a fool

    * If Packer had been illegally evading tax, there were plenty of left wing politicians in power who would have ensured action by the ATO

    Perhaps the dead should be left to RIP, especially when their only alleged crime was to obey the Taxation Act.

    Posted by kywong73 on 2006 02 20 at 01:10 AM • permalink

  33. Do I resent Packer for minimizing his taxes? No way.
    I just with I had his accountants.

    Posted by niobium2000 on 2006 02 20 at 02:53 AM • permalink

  34. Sorry, Andrea.

    Language - one word anyway - a bit strong.

    Posted by Inurbanus on 2006 02 20 at 05:26 AM • permalink

  35. "schmoozing” ???

    Posted by Stoop Davy Dave on 2006 02 20 at 05:48 PM • permalink

  36. No, Stoop. I meant ‘shit’; that Packer behaved like a ‘shit’ in the print media enquiry - and should have said he behaved, ‘inappropriately’. (Agreeing with dolt Ramsey IS a matter for concern but my analyst said OK on this occasion.)

    Nothing I’ve read here changes my mind about tax dodging of the legal or illegal variety. Governments need ‘x’ number of dollars. What they can’t get from big time dodgers they gouge out of more helpless PAYE types. That’s not what I would call a ‘fair go’.

    One of the Howard government’s biggest flops is its failure to reform the tax system.  The current setup makes a virtue of chiseling but that’s no excuse for individuals.  As good right-of-centre types we shouldn’t be blaming ‘the system’, should we? 

    “schmooze or schmoose also shmooze Audio pronunciation of “schmoozing” (P) Pronunciation Key (shmz) Slang
    v. schmoozed, or schmoosed also shmoozed schmooz·ing, or schmoos·ing shmooz·ing schmooz·es or schmoos·es shmooz·es

    v. intr.To converse casually, especially in order to gain an advantage or make a social connection.

    v. tr. To engage in schmoozing with: “how to be a professional artist how to be a businessperson, how to schmooze the collectors” (Paige Powell).

    n.The act or an instance of schmoozing.

    [Yiddish shmuesn, possibly from shmues, a chat, pl. of shmue, rumor; akin to Hebrew mû‘â, rumor. See m in Semitic Roots.]schmoozer n.
    schmoozy adj.”

    The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition

    Posted by Inurbanus on 2006 02 21 at 03:36 AM • permalink

  37. inurbanus said

    “Nothing I’ve read here changes my mind about tax dodging of the legal or illegal variety. Governments need ‘x’ number of dollars. What they can’t get from big time dodgers they gouge out of more helpless PAYE types. That’s not what I would call a ‘fair go’.”

    In my street, we were being hammered by break and enters week after week. Some neighbours got alarms and improved security. Others got themselves rather large dogs. The incidence of theft on these properties dropped dramatically.

    The other neighbours, however, weren’t so fortunate and suffered heavier losses. They blamed their situation on those who had beefed up security.

    Posted by amortiser on 2006 02 21 at 09:44 AM • permalink

  38. amortiser

    When your neighbours have kept up with the smarter and richer Joneses, the housebreakers head your way again. That is, if they can’t find more defenceless neighbourhoods.  And then what, razor wire?

    The only people doing well in this deal are the security companies.  Maybe the people on your street need to look out for one another more.

    I ain’t no socialist but it shouldn’t be a jungle out there either.

    Posted by Inurbanus on 2006 02 21 at 10:19 AM • permalink

  39. Inurbanus:
    You don’t get it, do you?

    Posted by amortiser on 2006 02 21 at 08:05 PM • permalink

  40. Explain it to me, amortiser.

    Posted by Inurbanus on 2006 02 22 at 03:54 AM • permalink

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