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EMISSIONS DOWN, BEARS DROWN

Things are getting better:

Since 1970, carbon monoxide emissions in the U.S. are down 55%, according to the Environmental Protection Agency. Particulate emissions are down nearly 80% and sulfur dioxide emissions have been reduced by half. Lead emissions have declined more than 98%.

But somehow this is only making things worse, as the NY Times reports:

Polar bears are drowning; an American city is underwater; ice sheets are crumbling ... the rate of warming from the 1970’s until now has been three times the average rate of warming since 1900. Seas have risen about six to eight inches globally over the last century and the rate of rise has increased in the last decade.

I blame this on decreased carbon monoxide, particulate, sulfur dioxide, and lead emissions. For the sake of all the drowning polar bears, let’s get those pollutants up!

Posted by Tim B. on 04/23/2006 at 11:02 AM
  1. “An American city is underwater”?

    Assuming they are talking about New Orleans, that is breathtakingly dishonest.  They built the city in a swamp, for crying out loud!

    Posted by Pixy Misa on 2006 04 23 at 11:10 AM • permalink

  2. The sea is rising because of all the polar bears in it.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2006 04 23 at 11:26 AM • permalink

  3. Speaking of breathtakingly dishonest, where the hell did they get this?

    Seas have risen about six to eight inches globally over the last century and the rate of rise has increased in the last decade.

    Six to eight inches? WTF? Not even the most alarmist sky-is-falling Gaia-pleading loons have made that claim. Millimeters, maybe.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 04 23 at 11:30 AM • permalink

  4. But won’t fewer polar bears mean more tasty seal flippers for the rest of us? Or the rest of you, I should say; I don’t eat nothin’ that don’t walk on dry land (and no, flopping around on a beach like Ted Kennedy looking for his vodka flask doesn’t count as walking on dry land).

    Posted by paco on 2006 04 23 at 11:43 AM • permalink

  5. So the ice is melting so fast the bears can’t catch up to the retreating edge?  Can’t get a good night’s sleep without getting pitched into the sea? Can’t take a shit in the floes without a jet of icewater in inappropriate places?

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 04 23 at 11:54 AM • permalink

  6. Six to eight inches?

    It depends on when you measure the change from. According to the Global Warming-types at the UN, sea levels were falling prior to about 1968. Per their chart, the level fell over 10 cm in 1891, alone. It all depends on where you start your chart from.

    Global temperature change is the norm. For example, for three decades, from about 1940-70, temperatures were falling despite an increase of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. Likewise, the atmosphere has cooled slightly since 1998. Global temperature change is a far more complex process than merely measuring changes in the amount of carbon dioxide would suggest.

    I’ve long considered Global Climate change alarmism as a proxy for those who regard people as a pox upon the earth - such as University of Texas evolutionary ecology Professor Eric Pianka who appears to advocate using Ebola to wipe out 90 percent of the human population.

    Posted by Bruce Rheinstein on 2006 04 23 at 11:58 AM • permalink

  7. Polar bears are cool but orangs rock too.
    In Sweden an orang named Baku has had to be hosed down with cold water- to facilitate the release of his female keeper from between his teeth..

    Posted by crash on 2006 04 23 at 11:59 AM • permalink

  8. #7 Apropos of nothing but ..
    In Austraya a man has had to be rescued by the authorities after his genitals became entangled in a bridle…

    Posted by crash on 2006 04 23 at 12:02 PM • permalink

  9. #7: That exact same thing happened to meone of my friends on senior prom night.

    Posted by paco on 2006 04 23 at 12:02 PM • permalink

  10. What Paco #7 or #8?
    Come on now fess up?

    Posted by crash on 2006 04 23 at 12:08 PM • permalink

  11. The article’s not that bad, as MSM pieces on this topic go. But the writer really should not have been surprised (twice) to find a time series displaying more variability over the short term than the long term. The Dow, for example, rose at a 164% annual rate last week. I’ve a shrewd hunch we won’t see anything like that number for the entire year.

    Posted by Paul Zrimsek on 2006 04 23 at 12:12 PM • permalink

  12. Those stupid polar bears who can’t figure out they have to move back a few feet prove Darwin was right.  Maybe we don’t need stupid polar bears.

    Polar bears.  That phrase just looks funny.  Polar bears.

    Paco, I had no idea you were into self-bondage…or are you just extraordinarily klutzy?

    Posted by ushie on 2006 04 23 at 12:24 PM • permalink

  13. Bush prevaricated, polar bears were saturated!

    Posted by Jim Treacher on 2006 04 23 at 12:25 PM • permalink

  14. The article starts out reasonably, but morphs into typical environmental disaster alarmism.  There are also a few forays into objective territory, where the author cites global warming  global cooling  climate change skeptics.  I particularly liked the scanned images of the NYT articles from 1932 and 1956.

    And, as per typical Mother Gaia™ doctrine, it’s all the fault of people, to wit:

    Many scientists say that to avoid a doubling of carbon dioxide concentrations, energy efficiency must be increased drastically, and soon. And by midcentury, they add, there must be a complete transformation of energy technology. That may be why some environmentalists try to link today’s weather to tomorrow’s problem. While scientists say they lack firm evidence to connect recent weather to the human influence on climate, environmental campaigners still push the notion.

    Emphasis is mine.  See the quite slide into alarmism?  Energy production (by people) is the cause.  Oooooooo, nice slight of hand there!

    I don’t disagree that energy production and technology has to be revamped.  But that, at most, will reduce environmental change.

    But I have to give kudos to the author on one point:  The “adapt or die” strategy is seriously discussed.  Environmentalists tend to be preservationists, which is a good thing in some regards.  But there’s a dark side to this:  they are resistant to any change…..even when all the evidence points to the simple fact that the environment thrives on change….and we really can’t stop it.  Indeed, we should not.

    This disconnect with reality is what is causing the environmental alarmists to squeal with alarm every time someone points out data contradictory to their dogma.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 04 23 at 12:30 PM • permalink

  15. Just want to point out that

    CO2 is 0.004% of the atmosphere.
    CO2 is airborne plantfood.
    CO2 changes lag Temperature changes (not cause).

    Posted by Rob Read on 2006 04 23 at 12:34 PM • permalink

  16. #10: I was referring to #7. I’ve never had an encounter with a bridle.

    Posted by paco on 2006 04 23 at 12:41 PM • permalink

  17. Seriously, isn’t quoting the NYT on global warming kind of like quoting the National Enquirer on extra-terrestrials or bat-faced infants?

    Posted by paco on 2006 04 23 at 12:50 PM • permalink

  18. Paco, that’s the Weekly World News, America’s Finest News Source!

    Posted by ushie on 2006 04 23 at 12:54 PM • permalink

  19. Trying to actively manage a process (the ecosystem) when you can’t even identify all the variables is like sending the Three Stooges to fix the plumbing in the basement during a posh dinner party…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 04 23 at 01:02 PM • permalink

  20. I’m bummed. The last few Global WarmaCoolaChanganating posts Tim has made have drawn exactly zero Endertypes to the comments. Have they given up? I thought for sure the Time Magazine Special Doomscreaming Orgasm Edition on the subject would have energized them.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2006 04 23 at 01:16 PM • permalink

  21. I certainly hope that’s not a slight.  Paco, Stoop Davy Dave, and I did fix that leak after all.  The neocon banquet went off without a hitch.

    Of course, we got no credit or thanks naturally.

    Posted by wronwright on 2006 04 23 at 01:19 PM • permalink

  22. In re: 21

    And the pie fight at the end was one for the ages (ruined my spats, though).

    Posted by paco on 2006 04 23 at 01:29 PM • permalink

  23. New Orleans was *built* underwater several centuries ago: They just built walls to keep the water out.

    Posted by Aaron - Freewill on 2006 04 23 at 01:31 PM • permalink

  24. #18: Weekly World News? Maybe that’s what I meant. My favorite “news” item from that kind of paper was one I saw headlined probably 15 or so years ago: “Cat Eats Parakeet, Talks”. Another favorite was, “Woman’s Bra Snaps; Nine Injured”.

    Posted by paco on 2006 04 23 at 01:34 PM • permalink

  25. Weekly World News is some of the best comedy writing out there. Very clever stuff.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2006 04 23 at 01:41 PM • permalink

  26. Dave S. — ecomoonbats can only exist under very specific and limited environmental conditions.  I think they can’t breed at the current temperatures…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 04 23 at 01:48 PM • permalink

  27. How serious can you take the writer of this piece when he repeats the old urban legend of frogs in boiling water??  I mean if I can find this link with one fingered typing then it’s not too much to ask NYT to do more research than the scuttlebutt from the playground?

    Posted by Pat Patterson on 2006 04 23 at 02:16 PM • permalink

  28. 24-From what I saw, Paco, Mary Magdalene also has a Gospel—included free in this week’s Weekly World News!

    I remember the writers there slammed Osama constantly for quite a while, publishing front page stories on the tini-tude of his man-parts.

    Posted by ushie on 2006 04 23 at 02:22 PM • permalink

  29. #24:  My personal favorite, read while standing in line at the supermarket, is:  “Psychics duel; Heads explode”.  Made me swallow my gum.

    Posted by texasred on 2006 04 23 at 03:19 PM • permalink

  30. I’m skeptical about polar bears drowning, frankly.

    They have long been know to swim a *lot*, and have been seen as much as 100 miles out to sea, in no apparent distress.

    Posted by steveH on 2006 04 23 at 03:22 PM • permalink

  31. #28: The WWW is publishing gnostic heresy? I’m . . . not altogether surprised.

    Yes, this -and similar outlets - do slam Osama and the bad guys. That’s actually one reason I find them endearing: in spite of the hyperbolic and fantastic stories (which, as Dave S. points out, are frequently hilarious), they do tend to strike the right patriotic chords.

    Posted by paco on 2006 04 23 at 03:30 PM • permalink

  32. Well, that’s the last time I go to that racist rag, the NYT. Everyone there only gives a sh*t about white bears drowning, but will we ever see the headline, “World Ends Tomorrow, Black and Brown Bears Hardest Hit”. I doubt it very much from those racist, bearist, ursa blanca, Ivy League crackers! When will they get a bear of colour on-staff; or is there no room for Jayson Bear at the Times now? B@st@rds.


    And is there a difference between 10” and 10cms or 10mms? Who knew!

    Posted by andycanuck on 2006 04 23 at 04:55 PM • permalink

  33. At last, something useful for Cindy Sheehan, mouth to mouth for polar bears.

    Posted by Rafe on 2006 04 23 at 05:15 PM • permalink

  34. Rafe — Man, drowning with that your last sight… you’re a cruel bugger…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 04 23 at 05:25 PM • permalink

  35. #10: I was referring to #7. I’ve never had an encounter with a bridle.

    Obviously, paco’s forgotten about the Tim Blair absence/car-b-que/party of a couple of months ago.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 04 23 at 05:30 PM • permalink

  36. “World Ends Tomorrow, Black and Brown Bears Hardest Hit”.

    OK, andycanuck…..what about grizzlys?  Huh? Huh?  ARE YOU A RACIST AS WELL?!?!?!?!?!!?

    Please send your response, in writing and notarized, to the editor of the Weekly World News.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 04 23 at 05:31 PM • permalink

  37. Oh. My. God!  Several Dutch cities are underwater too!

    Posted by murph on 2006 04 23 at 05:56 PM • permalink

  38. It’s when the koala bears start drowning they will get my attention.

    I suppose that’s both racist and nationalist.

    Posted by geoff on 2006 04 23 at 06:03 PM • permalink

  39. Actually, most of the centuries-old portion of New Orleans was built on the above-sea-level banks of the Mississippi, and thus mostly escaped the flood when the levees broke. The areas that were under sea level were built up in the past few decades.

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 04 23 at 06:17 PM • permalink

  40. # 38 - geoff

    A koala is a marsupial, not a bear.

    Posted by Kaboom on 2006 04 23 at 06:27 PM • permalink

  41. What, the original teddy bear not a bear? Bahhh! Of it is a bear. It’s all the other bears that aren’t bears.

    Posted by geoff on 2006 04 23 at 06:38 PM • permalink

  42. Death Valley in Kalifornia is also underwater.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2006 04 23 at 06:40 PM • permalink

  43. read [Of course it is a bear]

    I was so indignant I forgot words

    Posted by geoff on 2006 04 23 at 06:41 PM • permalink

  44. Now I’m angry.

    To hell with the white bears!
    If they can’t swim who needs ‘em?

    Posted by geoff on 2006 04 23 at 06:43 PM • permalink

  45. But nobody likes Grizzlies—they’re the illegal aliens undocumented ursines of the natural world. Salmon-killing sods.

    Posted by andycanuck on 2006 04 23 at 06:48 PM • permalink

  46. Polar bears are drowning

    Wait ‘till you see what’s happening to the Bi-Polar Bears.

    So sad...NO it’s NOT…is too, is not, is too, is not….:).

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 04 23 at 07:00 PM • permalink

  47. On reflection polar bears do have one use over koala bears.
    You can’t shoot koala bears from helicopters.

    Posted by geoff on 2006 04 23 at 07:02 PM • permalink

  48. #45 andycanuck

    You fellas really have it in for any animals that eat salmon, don’t you?

    Why don’t you farm the scaly buggers like everybody else?

    Posted by geoff on 2006 04 23 at 07:15 PM • permalink

  49. You could shoot koalas from helicopters if you had really good aim.

    Posted by ushie on 2006 04 23 at 07:25 PM • permalink

  50. Somehow I’m hearing a spammer’s voice in my head while reading that NYT article:

    Add 6 to 8 inches to your sea level NOW!!! Millions of dissatisfied climate change experts can’t be wrong!

    Posted by PW on 2006 04 23 at 07:31 PM • permalink



  51. #35 Rebecca: “Forgotten” is probably not the right word to describe it; after that pint of Everclear, I simply “knew no more”.

    Posted by paco on 2006 04 23 at 07:56 PM • permalink

  52. Don’t confuse grizzlies with those cod-eating S.O.B. seals, Geoff!

    Seriously, however, we do salmon farm on both east and west coasts and the enviros are all against it! Fears of mixing the genes of wild and escaped (GE?) farmed salmon; and diseases from the farmed salmon affecting the wild ones are their reasons. While, for some reason, Native overfishing, including when it’s out of season for everyone else, is never raised by them as a possible factor in dwindling wild stocks in B.C.‘s rivers.

    And while the enviros aren’t exactly turning a blind-eye to it, they downplay the Asian connection to the illegal trade in (black) bear parts (mainly gall bladders and the paws, I believe) used in Oriental folk medicines. We wouldn’t want to step on any multicultural paws toes.

    Posted by andycanuck on 2006 04 23 at 08:08 PM • permalink

  53. Add 6 to 8 inches to your sea level NOW!!! Millions of dissatisfied climate change experts can’t be wrong!

    Sounds like an advertisement in the Weekly World News…...

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 04 23 at 08:11 PM • permalink

  54. Global temperature change is the norm. For example, for three decades, from about 1940-70, temperatures were falling despite an increase of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. Which was exactly when we were letting off nukes like bungers on cracker night- there’s the answer, instant global cooling, and a very compliant (or vaporised) goat pilot population.

    How could anyone argue against that?

    Posted by Habib on 2006 04 23 at 08:31 PM • permalink

  55. ” . . .and a very compliant (or vaporised) goat pilot population. How could anyone argue against that?”

    Well, I don’t know what a “goat pilot population” is, but I imagine Stoop Davy might object.

    Posted by paco on 2006 04 23 at 08:46 PM • permalink

  56. Something weird is happening at my place.

    Last night the bathtub mysteriously rose about 30cm before my kids bathed and then just as mysteriously evaporated into thin air after they were dried and dressed.

    From all reliable accounts, this did not happen 40 years ago when mysteriously there was not even a house where mine is now.

    Global warming in action. No-one is safe, especially polar bears who can’t swim.

    Posted by The (WHMECDM) President on 2006 04 23 at 09:00 PM • permalink

  57. And anyway, if you toss a frog into a pot of boiling water, it dies instantly.

    What?

    Posted by Pixy Misa on 2006 04 23 at 09:02 PM • permalink

  58. Does it work for toads?

    If so, put the kettle on.

    Posted by ilibcc on 2006 04 23 at 09:28 PM • permalink

  59. Sea levels rose alarmingly in front of my place this morning. Although I understand they’ll decrease later today.

    Posted by Henry boy on 2006 04 23 at 09:32 PM • permalink

  60. #58

    Did the water whirl clockwise or anti-clockwise down the plug?

    This is important.

    Posted by geoff on 2006 04 23 at 09:46 PM • permalink

  61. There was a quite excellent radio program last week, on the BBC of all places, about scientists who believe that man-made climate change is real but is being exaggerated:

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/radio4_aod.shtml?radio4/battleforinfluence

    Posted by TokenModerateGuy on 2006 04 23 at 09:57 PM • permalink

  62. #62

    Didn’t observe that one, but if the Simpsons has taught me anything, being an antipodean I would say it was swirling in the clockwise direction.

    And in Rand McNally people wear hats as shoes, and hamburgers eat people.

    Such a crazy hemisphere could also have usually proficient swimmers such as polar bears suddenly incapable of paddling to safety.

    Posted by The (WHMECDM) President on 2006 04 23 at 10:10 PM • permalink

  63. slightly off topic

    I wonder what Leunig / Adams et al will write this year about ANZAC day.

    its about that time again and I’m sure there all dusting off their AustraliaHate files

    Posted by knuckleheadwatch on 2006 04 23 at 10:20 PM • permalink

  64. If polar bears are suddenly unable to swim, it must be due to the lack of good recreational programs for polar bear youth. With a sufficiently large government grant, I will be opening a swimming program at the YMCA for underprivileged bears. Not just white polar bears, mind you, considering the above discussion, but open to all bear cultures.
    Can’t have them in the regular swim class you know. There’s always that problem of one student eating the other.

    Posted by Merlin on 2006 04 23 at 10:25 PM • permalink

  65. I wonder what will happen during the climate change to that relative of the polar bears that live in Oz, known as Drop Bears.  They attack bush walkers by falling on them from the tree.  Will they start sneaking up on bathers/swimmers from the water on the new coast lines?

    Posted by The Big Fish on 2006 04 23 at 10:25 PM • permalink

  66. #57- Here’s a formation of the buggers in brocade form; see also sand goblins.

    Another benefit of this action would be to create a large glut of glass, thus saving all the nasty plastic currently used to package and dispense beverages.

    (Be a good time to buy shares in drink companies as well- if you’re anywhere near where the “atmospheric tests” are conducted, you’re going to be mighty thirsty.

    Posted by Habib on 2006 04 23 at 10:28 PM • permalink

  67. #54 andycanuck

    Australian seals will eat salmon if given half a chance.

    They will even eat salmon farmers.

    Posted by geoff on 2006 04 23 at 10:56 PM • permalink

  68. You could shoot koalas from helicopters if you had really good aim.

    Or an RPG.  Of course, you’d take out part of the surrounding countryside as well, which might be a problem if you’re near a people-inhabited place.  Or not.  Depending on how the locals feel about koalas.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 04 23 at 11:07 PM • permalink

  69. Since this is a climate change thread.

    Reports have typhoon Monica heading towards Darwin, maybe Tuesday.

    I would usually make some smart Lewinsky comment but the reports show this as worse than Katrina or Rita already, and gettng worse as time passes.

    Yikes!  Hope it scrubs a great deal of that strength over land before it gets to Darwin.

    Will try to keep up with this but reporting on this is scarce to say the least.  Good luck!

    Posted by yojimbo on 2006 04 23 at 11:21 PM • permalink

  70. Last time it was Christmas Day. This time Anzac Day?

    Posted by geoff on 2006 04 23 at 11:26 PM • permalink

  71. It’s when the koala bears start drowning they will get my attention.

    Hell, don’t worry about the koalas… when the yetis start drowning, we got troubles…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 04 23 at 11:28 PM • permalink

  72. #70 RebbeccaH

    Or you could use any one of these.

    But this is Australia and that would take much of the sport out of it.

    Posted by geoff on 2006 04 23 at 11:40 PM • permalink

  73. Koalas aren’t worth the ammo- they taste like Dencorub. Now if we’re talking a nice big fat brushtail possum….....hmmmm…possum…..

    Posted by Habib on 2006 04 23 at 11:41 PM • permalink

  74. Dencorub? You could turn them into massage mitts and create an export industry the Chinese couldn’t steal.

    Posted by ilibcc on 2006 04 23 at 11:50 PM • permalink

  75. That plus a range of accessories; while stalking most examples of the species represents no challenge, I think it would be rather a wheeze to hunt this sub-species, preferably with a flamethrower-equipped tracked vehicle.

    Posted by Habib on 2006 04 24 at 12:18 AM • permalink

  76. Well nuclear power’s not the answer according to a contributer to Crickey who cites “the respected academic and advocate Dr Helen Caldicott” article in the Age. She is also apparently the President of the Nuclear Policy Research Institute in Washington. Aren’t you guys fortunate to such an objective and unbiased Australian helping to formulate your nuclear policy?

    She’s also not very impressed with Australia’s involvement in Iraq, Afghanistan, certainly Vietnam (as I recall from years ago), most likely Korea, probably WW2, WW1, the Boer War, Sudan and the Maori wars. Probably won’t be an attendee at any of tomorrow’s ANZAC day marches. But she does have some grudging admiration for   Karl Rove. Dated article, but well worth a read and a laugh if you haven’t seen it before.

    Posted by Whale Spinor on 2006 04 24 at 12:26 AM • permalink

  77. Habib The giant tree rodent you mean?

    Nope that not a sub-species. Completely different species.

    Of absolutely no use to anybody. They even eat drop-bears.

    Posted by geoff on 2006 04 24 at 12:33 AM • permalink

  78. #78 WS I have never heard of the respected academic and advocate Dr Helen Caldicott, but there is an anti-nuke moonbat of the same name.

    Small world!

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 04 24 at 12:42 AM • permalink

  79. Maybe we should deploy these drop-bears against the tree-bound parasitic sub-phylum?

    Even Bob Brown can’t whine about using an eco-vector to control feral pests.

    Posted by Habib on 2006 04 24 at 12:55 AM • permalink

  80. O/T Is it just me or is MediaWatch not crap anymore?

    Posted by lingus4 on 2006 04 24 at 01:05 AM • permalink

  81. I reckon the global cooling global warming climate change alarmists should do their bit right now. No electricity and no motor car for starters.

    Any other suggestions?

    Posted by kae on 2006 04 24 at 01:12 AM • permalink

  82. It occurs to me that there is a bright side to bears drowning.

    Think of all the bear rugs we can make!

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 04 24 at 01:12 AM • permalink

  83. #82- It’s just you.

    (ps- let me know what you’re on, and where I can score some; must be wikked if it makes Moanica Retard look ok and sound reasoned- sort of a combo beer goggles and iPod full of Rummy podcasts).

    Posted by Habib on 2006 04 24 at 01:31 AM • permalink

  84. Australian seals will eat salmon if given half a chance.

    They will even eat salmon farmers.

    Thanks for the link to the “your” ABC story, Geoff. I would eat salmon farmers too, but I’m too afraid that I’ll choke on a bone, just like with seal flippers. (I mean the animal appendage, not a short-order cook in Newfoundland & Labrador.)

    And it just struck me, how do polar bears survive in Australian zoos—shouldn’t it be too hot for them virtually all-year long even if their pools are cooled? And does cooling zoo enclosures for polar bears and penguins etc. add to global warming through increased energy use? Maybe as part of a YMCA programme we could get zoo-bound Aussie polar bears and penguins on oversize hamster treadmills to power generators to keep the enclosures cooled.

    Posted by andycanuck on 2006 04 24 at 01:39 AM • permalink

  85. Is this climate change related too? And Alberta doesn’t have any nuke power plants, so it must be coming in from Ontario or over the North Pole from Russia. Maybe “Doctor” Caldicott can investigate?
    http://tinyurl.com/qpj57

    Posted by andycanuck on 2006 04 24 at 01:49 AM • permalink

  86. They’re all shitfaced on Bundy Rum and don’t notice the heat.

    When they die of cirrohsis or alcoholic poisoning, we just reef another drowning one out of the bycatch from a trawler- the kiddies love them, and they’re usually too pissed to be able to catch and eat any of the adorable little pixies.

    Posted by Habib on 2006 04 24 at 01:52 AM • permalink

  87. #85 I said “not crap” :) not great :)

    Posted by lingus4 on 2006 04 24 at 02:01 AM • permalink

  88. With the weather in Melbourne today, they may as well be on an Arctic ice floe anyway.

    Posted by ilibcc on 2006 04 24 at 02:01 AM • permalink

  89. #90 global fucking warming indeed - here we are in april with july weather

    Posted by KK on 2006 04 24 at 02:06 AM • permalink

  90. All I can say is I had absolutely nothing to do with this. I’m outraged! I have tried to keep up the nocturnal emmissions, but damnit! It’s harder the older a man gets, y’know? But I will keep going to sleep with the porn movie still playing on the DVD player…Huh? Oh…carbon monoxide emissions…oh, sorry.

    Boy is my face red.

    Posted by ekw on 2006 04 24 at 02:08 AM • permalink

  91. #90,91- you lucky, lucky bastards.

    It’s been hot enough to boil a monkey’s bum up here, and the rotten heat and humidity is showing no sign of buggering off despite it being bloody winter in less than six weeks.

    Seeing as there’s also a drought in SE Queensland, I’ve come up with an innovative way of fixing both problems- if we air-conditioned the entire region, the humidity extracted from the sodden air would fill every dam and weir for mile around, as well as having enough left over to supply daily wet t-shirt contests, while ridding the area of its rotten sub-tropical climate.

    We’ve got shitloads of coal, so running the necessary power stations would be a doddle.

    Who says you can’t do anything about climate change?

    Posted by Habib on 2006 04 24 at 02:17 AM • permalink

  92. O/T (Yes I know 2 in quick succession I am sorry oh great administratrix)

    John Howard on the topic of Osama Bin Laden.

    “Well, I’d like to see him either in captivity or deceased of course,”

    Who said politicians avoid giving straight answers.

    Posted by lingus4 on 2006 04 24 at 02:38 AM • permalink

  93. Speaking of the drought, I remember hearing something recently about Beijing intending to clean up the urban environment by “seeding” rainclouds in the sky which would cleanse the city streets of grime (or something like that) for weeks ahead of the 2008 Olympic Games. Does anybody know if this is possible, or is it just Chinese whispers?

    Posted by Ian Deans on 2006 04 24 at 02:49 AM • permalink

  94. #86 andycanuck

    “How do polarbears survive in Australian zoos ...?”

    Thank you andy. I feel like I’ve been waiting all my life for that question.

    Polarbears are kept in only one place in Australia - Sea World on the Gold Coast in Queensland.(Where I live)

    And this is how they survive.

    I must modestly claim to have had a small role in bringing polarbears to Australia. A friend of mine was a senior exec at Sea World etc. About 8 or 9 years ago they were debating whether to make the huge investment of putting in the display. My friend was wavering. Over dinner I asked the same question as you did and was answered in considerable detail. I encouraged the investment. “Of course I would go to Sea World to see polarbears” I said. The rest as they say is history.

    Funny thing though. I never did go to see the polarbears. No matter. The bears are still their most popular attraction now.

    Posted by geoff on 2006 04 24 at 03:31 AM • permalink

  95. This is getting a little boring. No trolls.

    Where did all the flowers trolls go?
    Long time passing..(with apologies to some mob of smelly 1960s hippies)

    Have they stopped breeding in the sewers and fever swamps of the left? lemme see…
    ...
    ...
    Nope, Larvateus Prodeo is still stuffed to the rafters with lefty dingbats.  A friend of mine called that site “The Anal Rodeo”, which is funny, but kinda weird.

    Maybe we should not have been so nasty to ‘em?

    Naaah.

    MarkL
    Canberra

    Posted by MarkL on 2006 04 24 at 04:01 AM • permalink

  96. I will try that link again

    Posted by geoff on 2006 04 24 at 04:04 AM • permalink

  97. Maybe all the trolls drowned?

    Posted by geoff on 2006 04 24 at 04:16 AM • permalink

  98. - yeah geez geoff that first link really sucked

    - Dr Helen Caldicott is quite famous for being Dr Helen Caldicott

    - most bears suck - but probably not as good as Monica

    Posted by Henry boy on 2006 04 24 at 04:31 AM • permalink

  99. #96- they use silver nitrate, with varying degrees of success- it was used here in the ‘70s but went out of favour. The ski resorts in NSW wanted to do it to increase snowfalls, but of course the enviropests kicked up a ruckus; you have to have cumulo-nimbus to seed in the first place, they’re the only cloud type with sufficient moisture concentration.

    All it does is make the rain form and drop before it normally would- probably not a bad idea as far as SE Qld goes, as we get plenty of cloud but it doesn’t rain until it’s out to sea.

    Posted by Habib on 2006 04 24 at 04:33 AM • permalink

  100. Hey Habib: you some kinda Nimbus guru?

    Posted by Henry boy on 2006 04 24 at 04:37 AM • permalink

  101. #98 those bears know how ter ‘ave a good toime

    Posted by KK on 2006 04 24 at 04:41 AM • permalink

  102. #21 Virtue is its own reward Wron….

    Posted by crash on 2006 04 24 at 07:37 AM • permalink

  103. Donations to the tortured Chinese bears (bile catheters in situ etc) welcome to the Save the Bears foundation started in Austraya.A lady was on a tour overseas and saw some bears in cages. When she went to see if they were being humanely looked after, a female bear reached out and touched her very gently on the shoulder,through the bars.(kiddies do NOT try this at home.)t shirts available,bears rescued,relocated and rehabilitated.

    Posted by crash on 2006 04 24 at 07:46 AM • permalink

  104. Funny, the yanks apparently lowered their emissions massively through the 70’s and 80’s. But the Kyoto bollocks wants “Year zero” to begin now?
    Hmmm, Cant see which economy should cop the shaft the most then?

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2006 04 24 at 07:59 AM • permalink

  105. Forgot to ask, but how did or is the area that Monica blew, doing? AND was Bill Clinton in town?

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 04 24 at 08:10 AM • permalink

  106. BARELY on topic but today it emerged newswise that Hanoi Jane Fonda was introduced to the Mile High Club (shudder) in Ted Turner’s private jet in 1998..
    Y’all wanted to know that.

    Posted by crash on 2006 04 24 at 08:19 AM • permalink

  107. Bah, mile-high club is no biggy!  The wife and I went to Denver once (though our bedroom was in the basement - does that invalidate it?

    Posted by SezaGeoff on 2006 04 24 at 09:22 AM • permalink

  108. I would like to take this opportunity to point out that SezaGeoff is no relation.

    Posted by geoff on 2006 04 24 at 09:59 AM • permalink

  109. I think the absence of trolls is caused by their thinking green and throwing away all their power using computers.  They’re all sitting at home now with their keyboards “plugged in” to a log and a mirror…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 04 24 at 10:02 AM • permalink

  110. Fossicking. Woo-hoo!

    Neat link, Geoff, I’ve even bookmarked it to send to an Aussie china. (I gave his daughter a Toronto Maple Leafs professional ice hockey golf sports team team mascot doll of Carlton the [polar] Bear, so they can see about going one day to let her see Carlton’s relatives.) I wish my place was that nice as bringing down slabs of rock from the Near North for landscaping is a new trend here.

    And the Blair Theory of Inverse Global Warming is at work again. After I joined this thread the weather dropped from sunny and 17°C to rainy and 11°C with overnight lows in the single digits so we’ve had to turn the heat back on. In April. I hope it’s better by July.

    And if you’d like to start your own polar bear site, I’m sure I can contact some Natives to pick you up a few and have the Chinese gangs ship them to you hidden in a shipload of smuggled cigarettes. They’re sure to have a large freezer room on the ship to accommodate them. ;^)

    And I’ve seen adverts here for the bear lady’s programme, crash, or a similar one; they’re fronted by the actor from Due South, who played the RCMP constable in Chicago, along with the WWF being involved. (Those professional athletes do so much good work outside of the ring.)

    Posted by andycanuck on 2006 04 24 at 10:32 AM • permalink

  111. 56 Habib

    there’s the answer, instant global cooling, and a very compliant (or vaporised) goat pilot population.
    How could anyone argue against that?

    Argue against it?  I can’t even understand it!  What’s a “goat pilot population”?  Should I be taking this personally or what? 

    57 Crapcakes!  Even Paco doesn’t know, and he’s the first guy I was gonna ask!

    68 Now I’m more confused than before!  Either goat pilots are medieval tapestry characters or seig-heiling beret-wearing fucktards.  None of those latter chaps, to be frank, looked bright enough to pilot a goat all the way out of the harbor, let alone navigate it to anyplace.

    Posted by Stoop Davy Dave on 2006 04 24 at 11:35 AM • permalink

  112. #17—Seriously, isn’t quoting the NYT on global warming kind of like quoting the National Enquirer on extra-terrestrials or bat-faced infants?

    Well of course it is. Everyone knows that Weekly World News is the authoritative source for EBE and bat-faced infants news.

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 04 24 at 12:04 PM • permalink

  113. LOL, ushie—I stopped reading one comment too soon.

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 04 24 at 12:06 PM • permalink

  114. Are polar bears drowning because melting ice floes take them ever farther from food sources or is it perhaps a nefarious plot perpetrated by desperate enviros on a populace unmoved by global warming global cooling climate change concerns? Polar bears to be considered for threatened species list:

    If the polar bear is declared a threatened species, it would be the first mammal deemed in danger of extinction because of global warming. A listing could force the government to adopt curbs on carbon dioxide, the primary greenhouse gas linked to rising temperatures in the atmosphere and ocean.

    snip

    Three environmental groups—Greenpeace, the Center for Biological Diversity and the Natural Resources Defense Council—filed a lawsuit in December, charging that the Fish and Wildlife Service had failed to rule on their petition asking the agency to start the review.

    In deciding to review, agency officials ruled that the petition presented substantial scientific information indicating that listing the polar bear may be warranted.

    For 60 days, the agency will take comments on effects of climate and sea ice change as well as on the effects of oil and gas development, hunting, poaching and contaminants on the bears.

    “Our petition to list the polar bear as a threatened species is based on the overwhelming evidence that global warming threatens the bear with extinction,’’ said attorney Andrew Wetzler, director of the Natural Resources Defense Council’s endangered species project.

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 04 24 at 12:43 PM • permalink

  115. You’re a joker Blair

    Posted by loadedog on 2006 04 24 at 12:44 PM • permalink

  116. Hiya, loadedog!!!  Got any sensible comments for the thread?

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 04 24 at 03:58 PM • permalink

  117. How the not-so-mighty have fallen…

    Anyway, I blame you guys about 20 comments above…you were itching for trolls, but all the moonbat population could manage to send at this time was the loaded og, apparently. Should’ve just left well enough alone, guys.

    What’s an og, anyway?

    Posted by PW on 2006 04 24 at 05:28 PM • permalink

  118. #113- here’s a valuable guide to the culture of goat pilots, and their aims for the future (provided they have one, what with all that strontium 90 floating about).

    Posted by Habib on 2006 04 24 at 07:22 PM • permalink

  119. I am surprised at the lack of imagination demonstrated by those ignorant of the origins of “goat pilots”

    I mean, really, what else is one to hang onto while….

    Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 04 24 at 08:02 PM • permalink

  120. #119 Well, this is the only Og I could find. I really think the guy meant “loaded dog”, but left out a ‘d’. I leave it you, ladies and gentlemen of the jury: does the fellow put you more in mind of a King of the Ammonites, or a dog who got into a vat of home brew?

    Posted by paco on 2006 04 24 at 08:49 PM • permalink

  121. Og is a troll name. But this guy ain’t no troll. Not even a troll’s asshole. Not even a loaded troll’s asshole. Barely a little girl troll’s fart.

    Posted by geoff on 2006 04 24 at 10:01 PM • permalink

  122. #122 exclusive! pic of og in melbourne’s very own royal arcade, also home to awesome purveyor of hand made chocolates koko black (seriously to die for)
    og & magog

    Posted by KK on 2006 04 25 at 12:03 AM • permalink

  123. oh sorry that was gog, but go see ‘em anyway

    Posted by KK on 2006 04 25 at 12:15 AM • permalink

  124. 26 McEnroe

    ecomoonbats can only exist under very specific and limited environmental conditions.  I think they can’t breed at the current temperatures…

    You sure?  I thought ambient light was the problem.  They have trouble finding breeding partners, because they’re too visible, whereas if it were much darker and foggier, they’d have a better chance.  There’s ample photographic evidence in support of this theory, but I’m too squeamish to link to it.

    Posted by Stoop Davy Dave on 2006 04 25 at 09:49 AM • permalink

  125. 120 Habib

    here’s a valuable guide to the culture of goat pilots

    That’s their culture?  And they “pilot” these goats?  Tell ya what, maybe they can pilot along just fine, on a clear day, with no traffic around, and with the autopilot set right, but frankly, from what I see here, I wouldn’t trust them to handle any take-offs, let alone any landings, no.  Looks like a waste of flight-school tuition to me, is alls I’m sane.

    Posted by Stoop Davy Dave on 2006 04 25 at 10:11 AM • permalink

  126. Some have hypothesized that Og was perhaps as tall as 12 feet, allowing an extra foot for clearance, but that conclusion is based solely on the length of the man’s bedstead. Some sources say Og was taller than the wall Kotel. “Now, Moses was ten amot (15 feet) tall. He took a hammer ten amot long, jumped up ten amot and swung the hammer at Og’s ankles, killing him.”

    So did the idea of “biblical inerrancy” spring up amongst people who’d never read this exciting book?, or from mischeivous people who had read it, but had also noticed that hardly anyone else had? 
    More better: is there a counterpart to this story in the koran?, or does this story begin and end too early in history to get incorporated into that competing holy-and-infallible documentation of God’s word? 
    More importantly, is it really legitimate to leave a question mark in mid-compound-sentence?, ahead of a comma, and then proceed to a second question? 
    And is this coffee stronger than usual today, or what?

    Posted by Stoop Davy Dave on 2006 04 25 at 10:26 AM • permalink

  127. Stoop DD—are you describing the Cardiff Giant, or what?

    You know, the one in the shed in Cooperstown, home of the Baseball Hall of Fame, which censored Tim Robbins’ right to dissent?

    Or am I thinking of Piltdown Man?

    Posted by ushie on 2006 04 25 at 02:24 PM • permalink

  128. No no no, this was the famous Og, King of the Amorites:

    Og is first mentioned in the book of Deuteronomy, specifically the 1st and 3rd chapters. He was an Amorite, not unlike his neighbor Sihon of Heshbon, of whom Moses had previously conquered at the battle of Jahaz. ... His Capitol at Ashtaroth was also a worship center to the fertility goddess, and this city is probably modern Tell Ashareh an existing 70-foot mound.

    Hey!  It turns out there IS a koranic reference to him, too: 

    Og, the giant of the Amorites, is equally considered a folk legend, around whom gathered many Jewish legends: according to some traditions he lived to be 3,000 years and strolled behind Noah’s ark during the Deluge. In Islamic lore he is referred to as ‘Uj ibn ‘Unk, meaning Og of the Neck, evidently one of the Jabbarun (giants) mentioned in the Qur’an (sura v.25).

    I wonder if little old Proud2b@Muslimah believes in Og.  Or the Noachian Flood, for that matter.

    Posted by Stoop Davy Dave on 2006 04 25 at 02:34 PM • permalink

  129. And Ushie?  Wouldn’t you be the authority figure to whom I should refer my question about the question marks and the commas?

    Posted by Stoop Davy Dave on 2006 04 25 at 02:37 PM • permalink

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