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EMBRACE THE WARMENING
Another reason to love global warming—it’s rescuing Australian wine:
Global warming may have delivered Australia’s embattled wine industry a much-needed boost, with this year’s unfavourable weather conditions expected to significantly reduce the damaging wine glut.
“Damaging wine glut”, eh? A shortage would surely be more damaging, but there you go.
(Via Hal G.P. Colebatch, who notes that Australia is dodging Europe’s death spiral)
UPDATE. In other heartwarming warming news, a type of polar bear has been located that is entirely resistant to ice shrinkage.
It’s just so unfair that countries like the U.S.A with 5% of the world’s population uses 25% of the world’s energy production.
There should be an immediate UN mandated requirement for energy equity, where the entirety of humanity shares fairly in the energy production cycle.
This will necessitate the U.S.A. having to subsist on 20% of its currrent energy usage (which is not a bad thing, once you become acclimatised to it).
Any excess energy produced in the U.S.A. should be immediately exported in an appropriate form to those more deserving, especially in the Middle East and North Africa, even if it means exporting nuclear energy, in shrink-wrapped, compact form.
I’m sure they will appreciate the energy equity.
Hmmmm.
What I want to know is just what is so bad about global warming anyways?
Ok so Europe may turn into an icy hell because the Gulf Stream has shifted. So what? It’s *Europe* for God’s sake! How many people in the world really give a damn? On the plus side it’ll turn into a reprise of Clan of the Cave Bear just about when the muslims finally take over and, this is very good, it’ll give the drowning polar bears someplace else to snack on.
I think this outcome is a net positive.
So Russia becomes a frigid icebox. Ok. So more of a frigid icebox than it is now. Well hardly anybody lives there anymore, fewer do so every day. And besides communists live there! Am I supposed to be worrying about freezing communists? Heck take’em, put’em on ice skates and turn it into a Broadway show and I’ll buy tickets.
If nothing else they’ll stop selling missiles to Iran and that’s a net positive right there.
...
All in all I don’t see any downsides to global warming. The people I don’t like get frozen out. The people I do like get better weather. And, if nothing else, at least **my** winters are going to be rather mild.
So if y’all will excuse me I’ve got to go and deplete me some ozone.
Posted by memomachine on 2006 11 26 at 11:55 AM • permalinkTwo artists prowled the country in search of stuffed polar bears—and uncovered 34 of the proud Arctic icons discarded in stockrooms or languishing in stately homes.
The result is “Great White Bear”—a new photo exhibition that explores mankind’s fascination with the magnificent creatures and underlines the fragility of their future.
My God, that’s stupid. Everytime I read something like this I have the urge to get out my pen and fill out a grant form. I’d like to do some travelling on the government’s dime, and I’m sure they’ll buy my quest to gather a collection of Tab cans from every single state in the nation so I can make a sculpture with the theme “the harm the beauty industry is doing to America’s preteen girls” as a legitimate artistic endeavor.
All that aside, I can tell you the reason for “mankind’s fascination with the magnificent creatures”—it’s their pristine white fur. Yes indeed, these are racist bears. Their popularity is a symbol of the hegemony of White Northern European “Ice People” over their brown “Sun People” betters.
“Dear Chairperson of the National Endowment for the Arts…”
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 11 26 at 03:35 PM • permalinkWhat I learned on some nature program is that Polar Bears have black skin underneath all that white fur. The fur acts as light pipes to channel the sun’s rays down to the skin, but then it traps the heat that would be otherwise radiated away.
OMG, I just realized something: They’re denying their own true black nature! Counselling!
When I go to my wine store, I notice they have a special section just for Australian wines. I imagine this either has something to do with the quality of Australian wine or with John Howard’s plan for taking over the world’s wine and alcohol consumption. Sort of like the Corleones, Barzinis, and Tattaglias divvying up the spoils.
Posted by wronwright on 2006 11 26 at 08:42 PM • permalinkeurocoldening may be the saving of what we laughingly call Western European culture. If you remember the mild temperatures Arabs are used to calling the “Savage Afghan Winter,” a good long cold snap might send them running home…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 11 26 at 09:38 PM • permalinkIf you people jack up the price of my Yellowtail Grenache-Syraz, there will be consequences. I’m just sayin’...
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 11 27 at 12:32 AM • permalink#7, You could work in an Oedipal angle as well, Andrea, something about in killing the bears, white men are killing their fathers, rejecting the patriachal society or asserting their own tribal leadership (take your pick).
Islamic angle? Mmm… perhaps, in butchering the bears, white men are working out their Crusader bloodthirstiness in lieu of having no Moslems to slaughter.
Now, a few references to animal liberation, PETA and Professor Peter Singer, and the grant’s in the bag.
Then came a 2002 Orlando St Hugo. Initially not up to the earlier wines, but then it was late. My drinking buddy and I packed it in, so I got to drink the St Hugo alone the following evening. 20 hours in the decanter did it no harm whatsoever.
Have you noticed that generally particular wines are not getting cheaper by much? I think what is happening is that the vendors are holding their established brand price points - but putting better wine into the bottles. So for example, Penfolds has established Koonunga at $AUD15 (though sometimes discounted down to $10), but it is now a better wine than it was 2 years ago.
Bring on the wine glut I say!
All great modern works of art have to have some urine in them. Or feces.
I’ve seen a couple that had some before I left…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 11 28 at 10:41 PM • permalink
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Mark Wilson and his Icelandic partner Bryndis Snaebjornsdottir - a woman who’s improbable name translates as “Snowbear’s Daughter” - have missed a real treat by focusing only on England. Had they cast a wider net in their search for stuffed polar bears, they would have encountered some interesting specimens courtesy of Paco’s Taxidermy Shoppe. We have one that we’ve made into an interesting couch, and another one cleverly contains a disguised soft-drink dispener: pull a bottle out of his mouth, and the teeth automatically pull the cap off the bottle. The gem of the collection, however, is the four-polar-bear-poster bed, a unique piece of furniture that truly spells class with a capital “k”.