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ECO SAMPLER

• Headline: Former Green candidate mistaken for vagrant. Mistaken?

• Obesity is worse than climate change! No; wait. Climate change is worse than obesity!

• Ice will kill you. Just as well it’s all melting, then.

• Warmening is coral’s greatest threat. But water works faster.

Posted by Tim B. on 01/30/2008 at 08:01 AM
  1. One problem in creating a religion without a Bible is, you run into contradictions every step of the way.

    I wonder if leftists will ever realize what a great spectator sport this is.

    Posted by Rittenhouse on 2008 01 30 at 08:19 AM • permalink

  2. In an interview, Mr. Poole said he received a brief telephone call in mid-January from a Loeb vice-president. “I want more than just a quick two-minute phone call from a guy on a cellphone.

    What a whinie bitch!

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2008 01 30 at 08:19 AM • permalink

  3. < pedant mode >

    Ice. It’s one of nature’s most simple elements

    Ice, or more correctly water, of which ice is the solid phase, is not an element. Compound is the word the writer wanted. Also “simplest” will do in place of “most simple”.

    < /pedant mode >

    Posted by Burbank on 2008 01 30 at 08:36 AM • permalink

  4. freshwater flowing down the Fitzroy River to the Great Barrier Reef will kill off masses of coral around the Keppel Islands in central Queensland

    Best ban freshwater then. Or maybe they could try dumping salt in it before it reaches the GBR….

    Posted by Retread on 2008 01 30 at 08:38 AM • permalink

  5. I know how ice is killing us.

    You have a drink.

    Gin and Tonic
    Vodka and Orange
    Rum and Coke
    etc

    Youll get drunk.
    What’s the common denominator?

    Yes!

    Ice.

    Ice gets you drunk.
    If you drink and drive (or step off the kerb in front of fast moving taxis in The Valley)....

    Ice will kill you!

    Don’t start me on glaciers. Like the rising waters of Climate Change (Science be upon it), ice will kill us.

    Posted by kae on 2008 01 30 at 08:40 AM • permalink

  6. Oh, and the Great Barrier Reef is threatened by floodwaters.

    Oh Please.

    Stop the floodwaters, they’re killing the reef.

    Isn’t it strange how suddenly these natural things are reason for us to panic!


    Don’t dredge Port Philip Bay. You’ll change the universe. It’s funny how everything, especially nature, seems able to recover from natural (and man made*) catastrophic events. Like floods. And the weather.

    *Now we know it’s AGW!

    Posted by kae on 2008 01 30 at 08:46 AM • permalink

  7. (psst, Tim, the first link is busted!)

    Nite dude!

    Posted by kae on 2008 01 30 at 08:47 AM • permalink

  8. Well Tim, after the two weeks you’ve had, I can understand people’s cynicism about the environment el al. The climate change shrillers have lost perspective on a few things it would seem, like just enjoying the ‘moment’.

    Posted by Nic on 2008 01 30 at 08:49 AM • permalink

  9. Re the last item, I saw some filthy hippy on the ABC TV news snorking on about just that, and wheedling for a grant to spend an extended period in the tropics to research the devastation on Great Keppel’s reef system from the Fitzroy’s spreadind floodwaters.

    Of course it’d be a tad cheaper and more carbon neutral to just fucking ask someone who’s lived in the area in the last forty years, who’d be able to tell them that the mouth of the river is about 100kms south of the Keppel group and by the time discharge from the Fitzroy gets there on the northern current it’s so diffuse it’s unnoticable, and has no effect whatsoever except for flushing the invasive water hyacinth into the salt where it karks it (and stinks up the beach at Yeppoon for a few weeks, but only idiot tourists swim there during jellyfish season anyway, the locals are on the piss in the Strand).

    The barrier reef is more at risk from the plague of whiffy researchers than it’s ever been from bleaching or crown of thorns starfish.

    BTW, I’ll be in Sydney next week (and will pop in on our erstwhile host, drop off some grapes and fiddle with his tubes for a laugh) so if anyone’s interested in a snifter or two send me a smoke signal.

    Posted by Habib on 2008 01 30 at 08:55 AM • permalink

  10. From the link to “Former Green Candidate: “I have been touched in the depth of my soul with how it feels to be tossed aside as someone worthy of dignity sand [sic] respect.”

    Sand? Sand is a mark of worth, is it? Perhaps the store can make up to the fellow by sending him a sack-full.

    Posted by paco on 2008 01 30 at 09:06 AM • permalink

  11. #9 Habib: Having explained the situation, it would seem to me that are in a good position to negotiate a grant for yourself, after the fact.

    If you’re going to see Tim, use some of that grant money to buy him a bottle of “painkiller”; the occasion calls for 20-year old, at least.

    Posted by paco on 2008 01 30 at 09:11 AM • permalink

  12. #9

    filthy hippy

    You repeat yourself.

    Posted by Burbank on 2008 01 30 at 09:27 AM • permalink

  13. “For the first time in my life, from personal experience, I know what it is like to be profiled and prejudged. I have been touched in the depth of my soul with how it feels to be tossed aside as someone worthy of dignity sand respect.”

    - Even allowing “sand” as a typo for “and”, it still doesn’t make sense.

    Posted by McAnzac on 2008 01 30 at 09:39 AM • permalink

  14. $28,000.00 casket? I guess you can take it with you.

    Posted by Redd on 2008 01 30 at 09:52 AM • permalink

  15. #14 Redd

    Geez, it’s only a month’s rent on his Manhattan apartment, cheap at half the price..

    Posted by Retread on 2008 01 30 at 10:18 AM • permalink

  16. More evidence of globel warmening.

    Posted by Redd on 2008 01 30 at 11:29 AM • permalink

  17. Who is Leonard Poole trying to kid?  A Green, looking to buy some meat?

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2008 01 30 at 11:35 AM • permalink

  18. Black ice tried to kill me a year ago.  And then, when I put an ice bag on my owie, I got frostbite.

    Ice is a killer.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2008 01 30 at 11:50 AM • permalink

  19. “I never drink water. Fish f**k in it.”
    —W.C. Fields

    Posted by mojo on 2008 01 30 at 11:52 AM • permalink

  20. “Obesity is worse than climate change! No; wait. Climate change is worse than obesity!”

    I think each one is worse than the other.

    Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2008 01 30 at 12:29 PM • permalink

  21. #20: Uh, oh. Ping-ponging negative comparatives. This could create a black hole.

    Posted by paco on 2008 01 30 at 01:12 PM • permalink

  22. And now my university has jumped on the global warming bandwagon
    awareness day

    Meet our new environmental sustainability coordinator!  (We’re paying this person to do ... what?)
    Have a nourishing lunch of organic minestrone. Much better than the old, petrochemical minestrone.
    Hear from actor Edward Norton!
    See a Leonardo DiCaprio film that apparently no one bothered to see in the theatres.

    And then marvel that today it is -22 F with the wind chill. So cold that my kids’ schools were closed.

    Posted by Merlin on 2008 01 30 at 01:17 PM • permalink

  23. How many people think it’ll snow in Glendale Arizona this weekend?
    None?
    Okay, now how many?

    Patriot superstar Tom Brady…urged everyone to go see…“An Inconvenient Truth,” because “it really is the truth.”

    C’mon Gaia, make it snow for daddy.

    I wish I had a ticket to give to Al Gore, he’s usually good for at least flurries.

    Posted by Veeshir on 2008 01 30 at 01:34 PM • permalink

  24. Ah, mojo, W.C. Fields, my favorite comedian.  “I love children, ‘deed I do, baked or broiled or in a stew.” 

    And I agree with you all, ice is a number one killer:  of taste in my alcoholic drink when it’s allowed to melt. 

    Elizabeth
    Imperial Keeper

    Posted by Elizabeth Imperial Keeper on 2008 01 30 at 01:36 PM • permalink

  25. #22 Merlin - Oh no, not the dreaded TEACH-IN!

    Trust me, the love-ins were a lot more fun.

    Posted by mojo on 2008 01 30 at 01:36 PM • permalink

  26. #24 Elizabeth - Ah, well you’d be a fan of under-appreciated short “The Dentist” then, I take it?

    “The Bank Dick” was always my favorite. Mows down a statue in a high-speed chase, and declares “Jumped right out in front of me!”

    Posted by mojo on 2008 01 30 at 01:39 PM • permalink

  27. Why yes, yes I am. 

    I can’t remember which movie he said something to the effect that a woman drove him to drink and he never properly thanked her. 

    Elizabeth
    Imperial Keeper

    Posted by Elizabeth Imperial Keeper on 2008 01 30 at 01:48 PM • permalink

  28. Coral ecologist Alison Jones says the reef has only just started to properly recover from the 1991 floods that killed everything in their path.

    The coral is recovering after everything was killed in 1991?  Well, blow me down. I thought it was supposed to stay dead forever, like the dodo.

    Posted by mr creosote on 2008 01 30 at 03:21 PM • permalink

  29. “‘Twas a woman drove me to drink, and I never had the decency to write and thank her.”

    But you can’t top his gravestone:
    “On the whole, I’d rather be in Philadelphia”

    Posted by mojo on 2008 01 30 at 03:36 PM • permalink

  30. Floodwaters coming down NQ rivers will kill the GBR.
    Obvious to me at least ........Mother Gaia in her own subtle way DEMANDS we build dams.

    Posted by Rod C on 2008 01 30 at 04:07 PM • permalink

  31. Mistaken Mr. Poole whined,

    For the first time in my life, from personal experience, I know what it is like to be profiled and prejudged.

    What, he’s never hailed a cab before..?

    Posted by JAFA on 2008 01 30 at 04:20 PM • permalink

  32. Good point Tim. How can a former Green candidate possibly be mistaken for a vagrant?

    But what was a Greenie doing looking at meat anyway? Isn’t that bad for the environment or something?

    Posted by Ash_ on 2008 01 30 at 04:24 PM • permalink

  33. Not everyone believes ice kills.  Some people order it from restaurants.  link

    Posted by RK on 2008 01 30 at 05:11 PM • permalink

  34. Heh, last week at work we were running a sweep on how long before the first news reports with satellite images of sediment plumes in the GBR lagoon would be spread all over the media preaching doom and doom. 

    My pick was one day too early.

    Posted by entropy on 2008 01 30 at 05:15 PM • permalink

  35. #32 The guy is obviously posing as a greenie; the whole situation wreaks of the cia: remember the bay of pigs? Another cia meat stuff-up.

    Posted by cohenite on 2008 01 30 at 05:42 PM • permalink

  36. Obesity is worse than climate change! No; wait. Climate change is worse than obesity!

    Both are correct. It depends on whether you are dietician working on obesity who needs grant money or whether you are a climatolologist, meteorologist, zoologist, witch doctor, ecologist, geologist, astrologer, dermatologist, proctologist, horticulturalist, economist, waiter, educator, herbologist, vagrant, viticulturalist, poet or any another person in academia and the sciences seeking a grant to study climate change.

    Posted by Contrail on 2008 01 30 at 05:44 PM • permalink

  37. #35 I think you’re right. I cracked up when I realised you had the same thought at Bolta’s, but it’s reassuring that I’m not the only one.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2008 01 30 at 06:04 PM • permalink

  38. #36

    Both are correct. It depends on whether you are dietician working on obesity who needs grant money or whether you are a climatolologist, meteorologist, zoologist, witch doctor, ecologist, geologist, astrologer, dermatologist, proctologist, horticulturalist, economist, waiter, educator, herbologist, vagrant, viticulturalist, poet or any other ‘ologist’, or other person in academia or the sciences, or just a vagrant, witch-doctor, astrologist, educator or poet, seeking a grant to study climate change.

    Posted by kae on 2008 01 30 at 06:56 PM • permalink

  39. that program summary on “killer ice” is truly an appalling piece of writing.
    “In its many forms, in thin layers or mile-thick glaciers, ice can plague mankind!”
    Oh my God. It’s like Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, except with ice instead of red vegetables.

    Posted by daddy dave on 2008 01 30 at 07:12 PM • permalink

  40. What the hell is an ice plague?  Did I miss one of Moses’ plagues in my bible study class?  Is it the sign of the Apocalypse?  Will my air conditioner cope with a plague of ice?

    Posted by peter m on 2008 01 30 at 08:34 PM • permalink

  41. #38

    or any other ‘ologist’, or other person in academia or the sciences, or just a vagrant, witch-doctor, astrologist, educator or poet, seeking a grant to study climate change.

    Don’t have a uni education but I always assumed vagrants, witch-doctos and astrologists were members of academia. I mean, Tim Flannery. He’s got to be a witch doctor. And Robert Mann? Vagrant for sure. The IPCC panel - astrologers one and all.

    Posted by Contrail on 2008 01 30 at 08:36 PM • permalink

  42. Don’t let that glimmering, sparkling, frosted peaceful look fool you! You turn your back on a tray of ice cubes for one second and WHAMMO, it’ll glass you quicker than Wayne Carey could.

    Posted by Penguin on 2008 01 30 at 08:45 PM • permalink

  43. The former green candidate;

    For the first time in my life, from personal experience, I know what it is like to be profiled and prejudged.

    First time? As a former (failed) candidate, I’d say the voters had already given you this personal experience. Unless you sheltered your delicate sensibilities in the traditional leftie ‘we wuz robbed’ evasion.

    Posted by Penguin on 2008 01 30 at 08:54 PM • permalink

  44. Ice sure is dangerous and ducks too-I remember at three or fours years of age being enticed on to an icy duck pond whilst wearing a brand new lambskin coat. circa 1944
    The ice gave way and I went under- don’t remember much about the cold water but I do remember the whacking my Mum gave me for ruining the coat-

    Posted by Hillyminx on 2008 01 30 at 08:57 PM • permalink

  45. #41
    Yeah, you’re right contrail. My mistake!

    #42
    And a Penguin would know!

    Posted by kae on 2008 01 30 at 08:58 PM • permalink

  46. #39

    that program summary on “killer ice” is truly an appalling piece of writing.
    “In its many forms, in thin layers or mile-thick glaciers, ice can plague mankind!”
    Oh my God. It’s like Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, except with ice instead of red vegetables.

    ‘biblical proportions’ seems to be the favourite buzz at the moment.

    Carnage. It’ll be carnage, I’m sure.

    Posted by kae on 2008 01 30 at 09:00 PM • permalink

  47. O/T

    Not $ORRY Kev!

    and

    Question: was Kev07 the boobie prize?

    Posted by kae on 2008 01 30 at 09:02 PM • permalink

  48. Poole shouldn’t have been looking at the meat, anyway. Doesn’t he realise the shocking impact meat production is having on the fragile planet?

    Posted by blogstrop on 2008 01 30 at 09:45 PM • permalink

  49. In the year that China’s carbon emissions overtake those of the US, this happens. Coincidence? I think not.

    This Globule Warmening thing is so confusing…

    Posted by Art Vandelay on 2008 01 30 at 10:04 PM • permalink

  50. Greenie Derro:  he said he learned “a powerful lesson” from the experience. “For the first time in my life, from personal experience, I know what it is like to be profiled and prejudged.

    No, no, no Dipshit… The lesson you should have learned is to make yourself presentable before leaving your cave.

    Posted by Big Jim on 2008 01 30 at 11:12 PM • permalink

  51. Re. obesity.

    It’s part of the The Great Warmening Death Spiral: Anything causes climate change causes everything causes climate change…

    Posted by fidens on 2008 01 30 at 11:48 PM • permalink

  52. At foxnews we read:

    Scientists are perplexed by this structure, which is unlike anything observed elsewhere in the solar system.

    Unlike their certainty on earth climate.

    Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 01 30 at 11:50 PM • permalink

  53. #52—It’s Cloverfield!  The subject is still active!

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2008 01 31 at 12:22 AM • permalink

  54. speaking of global warming, there’s a site called Climate Debate Daily that has links to articles from both sides of the debate. It’s a useful resource, I think.

    Posted by daddy dave on 2008 01 31 at 02:33 AM • permalink

  55. Obesity is worse than climate change! No; wait. Climate change is worse than obesity!

    Depends whether you prefer listening to Al Gore or looking at him.

    Posted by squawkbox on 2008 01 31 at 03:51 AM • permalink

  56. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeere’s Leonard!!!!!

    Posted by Young and Free on 2008 01 31 at 06:18 AM • permalink

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