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ECO EXTORTION

Indonesia’s new plan to fight global warming is nothing but a supersized version of this.

Posted by Tim B. on 10/12/2007 at 10:20 AM
  1. Extortion! I’m only charging the government a couple of hundred thousand bucks not to chop down my wild plums, oaks and maples.

    Posted by paco on 2007 10 12 at 10:24 AM • permalink

  2. Unaccountably, I’m reminded of that scene in “Blazing Saddles” where Cleavon Little holds a gun to his own head and yells:  “Back off, or the nigger gets it!”

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 10 12 at 10:33 AM • permalink

  3. “Nice ecosystem you’ve got ‘ere, guvnah…twould be a shame if somefink were to ‘appen to it….”

    Posted by SoberHT on 2007 10 12 at 10:44 AM • permalink

  4. I heard cutting grass emits lots of greenhouse gasses…

    Does that mean the government shoudl be paying me NOT to cut my grass?  I like it!

    Posted by Baron on 2007 10 12 at 10:48 AM • permalink

  5. Best quote of the day:

    I can sniff sticky green fingerprints all over this…. and it aint tree frogs.

    Posted by Go Canucks on 2007 10 12 at 11:11 AM • permalink

  6. I just counted, we have 27 trees on our block. At $5000 a tree that’s a cool $135,000 ransom. We also have 30 or so shrubs, at $1000 a shrub, some agapanthas and clivea, a nice rockery with erigeron, petunias, gardenias, a trellis of star jasmine, and lots of weeds. Shall we say a flat $200,000? Add $20,000 for the lawns.

    Being green has a price.

    Posted by mareeS on 2007 10 12 at 11:22 AM • permalink

  7. someone spilt the italics

    Posted by mareeS on 2007 10 12 at 11:24 AM • permalink

  8. #3: Haw!

    Looks like the market is ripe for Prior Arborial Carbon Offsets. Under this system, the government would have to pay you for all the trees you didn’t cut down on properties you previously owned, in order to compensate you for the unrecognized economic value of the property, of which you were previously unaware, but are still entitled to. I’m sure it’s all legal.

    Posted by paco on 2007 10 12 at 11:40 AM • permalink

  9. o.t. Chaser mob in trouble with police again after delivering a “ticking package” into an inner city business premises ...Energy Australia… in Sydney.

    Posted by crash on 2007 10 12 at 11:43 AM • permalink

  10. My answer:
    “Have at it, dipshit. Need a light?”

    Posted by mojo on 2007 10 12 at 11:56 AM • permalink

  11. It was that Canuk up there. (glares)

    Posted by mojo on 2007 10 12 at 11:57 AM • permalink

  12. Screw ‘em. They can make the place a friggin’ parking lot or sand box, for all I care.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 10 12 at 12:18 PM • permalink

  13. test test

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 10 12 at 12:19 PM • permalink

  14. Posted by El Cid on 2007 10 12 at 12:20 PM • permalink

  15. ahhh fuck it

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 10 12 at 12:21 PM • permalink

  16. ,,

    Posted by mareeS on 2007 10 12 at 12:36 PM • permalink

  17. #8, paco

    Shouldn’t you get your legal team of Dewey,Cheatem & Howe to render a legal opinion on that?

    Pacozon could sell the legal forms online for people to submit. Lotsa green in this I’m thinking.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 10 12 at 12:37 PM • permalink

  18. The Australian office of Dewey, Cheatem and Howe is trying to stuff the itals back in the jar. Kill me now if it doesn’t work.

    Posted by mareeS on 2007 10 12 at 12:40 PM • permalink

  19. Aaarghh!!!

    Posted by mareeS on 2007 10 12 at 12:41 PM • permalink

  20. I guess mareeS has just gone to that great carbon offset in the sky.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 10 12 at 12:43 PM • permalink

  21. Oh, boy, Andrea is gonna be mad at me again.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 10 12 at 12:54 PM • permalink

  22. Re #2, yup, Rebecca, that’s exactly what it is.  mojo in #10 has the right response, although I recommend napalm.  Lots of napalm.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 10 12 at 12:55 PM • permalink

  23. yojimbo,

    Carbon offsets are a figment. I’m still deciding what carbon offsets are a figment of besides lunacy, but I think they have a place in my superannuation fund, alongside the other stuff that returns 20%.

    Posted by mareeS on 2007 10 12 at 01:44 PM • permalink

  24. This blog aint poor. We should go a bit of compsikyewis consuming and go all italics all the time.

    Makes us look sofistikated.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 10 12 at 01:47 PM • permalink

  25. Christopher Lee Voice: “Rip them all down!”

    Posted by Hucbald on 2007 10 12 at 02:13 PM • permalink

  26. #17 Yojimbo: We’ve already got it covered. Our attorney, Wring M. Drye, Esq., gave me a template when I went to see him last Sunday on visiting day (it cost me five cartons of cigarettes, but it was worth it).

    Posted by paco on 2007 10 12 at 02:51 PM • permalink

  27. Nothing much new here; the warmologists have been recommending such for quite a while. This is the first time I’ve seen an actual price affixed, though (how does that punch line go—we’ve already established what you are, now we’re just settling on a price). I think it’s only appropriate that the Kyoto signatory nations take care of this. North America, which apparently is quite the efficient little carbon sink, is more heavily forested today than when Columbus and the boys dropped anchor. So bite me, Indonesia. Last I heard, you guys were clearing forest to make way for biomass as fast as your little machetes could chop through the bamboo.

    I for one am looking forward to the Bali meeting. Should offer no end of opportunity for amusement.

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 10 12 at 04:25 PM • permalink

  28. #2, RebeccaH,

    Ach, you’ve gone and stole my thoughts again.    That is exactly what I thought when I read that bit of crudity.

    Posted by saltydog on 2007 10 12 at 05:03 PM • permalink

  29. I think they should cut down AND burn all their forests.  ALL of them.

    Every friggintree in Indonesia.

    Go for it, assholes.

    And when you’re finished, you won’t have any trees, and Australia (and other countries that have more than two brain cells among their collective citizenry) still will.

    I’ll be happy to send you a case of matches, and chip in on the gasoline petrol to get you started, you worthless idiots.

    How do these fools manage to find even their way to the bathroom every morning?

    Posted by Barbara Skolaut on 2007 10 12 at 07:01 PM • permalink

  30. How long before one of these clowns starts to claim on the Algae and other AlGores scum in their oceans which produce oxygen?
    Coral reefs otherwise known by their main chemical component, CaCO3, should keep the tropics in clover while the colder northern and southern countries (helooo Russia) pay us for nothing.
    I wonder how much CO is tied up in coral reefs and if that is easily liberated?

    So back off Indonesia or I’ll chlorinate the great barrier reef!!

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 10 12 at 07:06 PM • permalink

  31. Pay up or the tree gets it!

    Posted by Henry boy on 2007 10 12 at 10:58 PM • permalink

  32. Al Gore would pay it, but only with taxpayer money.

    Posted by dean martin on 2007 10 13 at 04:35 AM • permalink

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