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DVDS "WORSE THAN PORK AND WINE"

“I’d just fixed myself a plate of ribs, poured a hefty glass of shiraz and slotted a Clint Eastwood movie into the DVD player when I saw this,” writes Stephen W. “I’m disgusted with myself.”

The dvds are like any other Haraam item, wine, pork, etc. If any one had wine or pork and then realized it to be Haraam, what is expected to be done? It is not permissible to give the wine or pork to anyone. It must be disposed off.

Dvd movies are worse off than pork and wine. Dvd movies destroy one’s Islamic values and morals. It is not confined to the physical harms like wine and pork. If you could dispose of the monies from the sales of the dvds by giving Zakaat from its proceeds or giving the dvds as presents, then you can also dispose of the dvds by destroying them. You will be rewarded for this courage and Allah will grant you barakah. I urge the viewers to also take a bold step like yourself to destroy evils and Shaytaani elements from one’s home.

Wise words indeed from Italian airline enthusiast (“Alitalia knows best!”) Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

HARAAM UPDATE. Douglas Wood’s captors produced DVDs of his ordeal.

Posted by Tim B. on 05/14/2005 at 08:58 AM
  1. Awww… what?? No DVD’s???

    Fuck that. This is now a war to the death.

    Posted by Mike Jericho on 2005 05 14 at 10:39 AM • permalink

  2. Agreed Mike, I just watched Chuck Norris’s utterly brainless Missing In Action (again) - it has naked women, plenty of beer drinking, it’s pro-the-Great-Satan and I own it on DVD.

    Allah obviously is not going to be pleased with me.

    Posted by Leigh on 2005 05 14 at 10:56 AM • permalink

  3. Wow.  Whoever though of Denise Richardson and Naomi Campbell as weapons of mass destruction?

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 05 14 at 11:13 AM • permalink

  4. Heh. My most recent DVD watched: Commando. Favourite line: “I let him go”. Rating: R18+ (Don’t know why ... the toplessness in it was for less than one second). I was able to watch with Norwegian subtitles, so my brain wasn’t allowed to go to sleep.

    Fuck that. This is now a war to the death.

    Amen!

    “Of course your realize this means war!”

    /bugs bunny

    Posted by Andjam on 2005 05 14 at 11:14 AM • permalink

  5. Andjam,

    Own that as well - it does have 96 kills in it, including throat slits, repeated shotgun blasts, impalings… plus a short scene of nudity, some swearing, and it’s the 80’s - heaps of stuff got R ratings for the sheer body count.

    Posted by Leigh on 2005 05 14 at 11:24 AM • permalink

  6. Doesn’t Commando have one of the highest body counts of any film?

    Of course Hot Shots: Part Deux blows everything away there.

    What if it’s a DVD about the history of Islam?

    Posted by Aging Gamer on 2005 05 14 at 12:09 PM • permalink

  7. Mufti Ebrahim Desai is a nasty old bastard, and I’m upset that he comes from my country.

    Here are a few others of his choice bits of advice, including the support of offensive jihad, his hatred of Jews and his statement that marrying pre-pubescent girls is perfectly ok:

    http://www.islam.tc/ask-imam/view.php?q=12128
    http://islam.tc/ask-imam/view.php?q=1554
    http://islam.tc/ask-imam/view.php?q=6737

    Posted by Impi on 2005 05 14 at 12:09 PM • permalink

  8. Ask-the-Imam has always been a hoot. The Mufti has an opinion about everything, and he always couches his opinions as the opinions of God. “And Allah Ta’ala knows best...”

    One of my favorites is the one where he tells a poor girl with a monobrow that plucking eyebrow hairs is serious haaraam, and that it is the will of Allah that she go through life with one eyebrow.

    Posted by ErnieG on 2005 05 14 at 12:15 PM • permalink

  9. DEATH TO NETFLIX!!!

    “Doesn’t Commando have one of the highest body counts of any film?”

    That or Invasion: America, one of the two.

    Posted by Jim Treacher on 2005 05 14 at 12:31 PM • permalink

  10. grant you barakah

    I’m gonna’ get me some barakahs! I hear they’re real tasty.

    Posted by Wallace-Midland Texas on 2005 05 14 at 01:43 PM • permalink

  11. I for one applaud Mufti Ebrahim Desai’s brave stance on morality and the “devil’s disks.” In fact, to show my support for this virtuous initiative, I hereby announce that any good Muslim (or non-Muslim who wants to hedge his bets regarding the afterlife) who wishes to unburden himself of these Haraam items may mail them to me that I may see to their proper disposal, especially the really sinful ones.

    Posted by Vasco on 2005 05 14 at 02:20 PM • permalink

  12. See, focusing on stupid stuff like the sinfulness of DVDs and certain foods is a way to avoid admitting that your faith in your God can’t withstand the temptations of daily life.  It’s also a way to avoid acknowledging that you are an ignorant, undereducated, fearful, narrow-minded, bigoted nitwit.  Sorry, Imam.  I’m just saying.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2005 05 14 at 02:50 PM • permalink

  13. Dang.  I went on a business trip this week and had baby back spare ribs and large mugs of draft beer on two separate occasions. That was probably a very bad thing I did.

    But I didn’t watch a DVD.  I did watch a cable movie though about nurses in short white dresses bathing male patients.  OK, it wasn’t.  It was the The Last Samarai, which had no nurses in it sadly.  So cable is probably OK.  Right?

    What if I could watch the movie about bathing busty nurses (wearing the dresses, and the cute little hats, like in the 1960’s, not the scrubs they wear now, damn them, damn them all) on cable.  Is that better, on the sin scale, than watching The Last Samarai on a DVD?

    Posted by wronwright on 2005 05 14 at 03:02 PM • permalink

  14. Is it just DVD movies?  What about VHS?  Betamax?

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 05 14 at 03:27 PM • permalink

  15. What about VCD’s? Are they less corrupting ‘cuz the picture isn’t as good?

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 05 14 at 03:28 PM • permalink

  16. Has anyone told the Mad Mufti that one of the world’s biggest servers for file-sharing is located in the Palestinian “refugee camp” of Jenna?

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 05 14 at 03:31 PM • permalink

  17. Is it Halal to use rent of a shop selling Movies Videos and CDS?

    Movies, Videos, Film CD’s, etc, are Haraam. It is not permissible to hire a shop for the sale of movies, etc

    and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best

    Mufti Ebrahim Desai
    Can’t watch films or listen to music.
    Oh well i can always beat up the wife and kids , that’s got to be Hallal right?

    Posted by davo on 2005 05 14 at 03:52 PM • permalink

  18. Yep.  And so is the rape of goats, praise Allah!

    Posted by Mr. Blue on 2005 05 14 at 06:03 PM • permalink

  19. OK, Allah is not keen on DVD, we get that - does anyone know how he feels about Blu-ray disks?

    Posted by Harry Buttle on 2005 05 14 at 06:48 PM • permalink

  20. I wonder if Mufti Desai could be incited to declare the internet haraam?

    Posted by PW on 2005 05 14 at 07:11 PM • permalink

  21. BTW, how long until a David Heidelberg sockpuppet stops by to condemn Tim for making fun of Muslim sensibilities?

    Posted by PW on 2005 05 14 at 07:43 PM • permalink

  22. actually Tim better hope that the Brackistan thought police dont get him for this.

    Posted by Astonished on 2005 05 14 at 08:10 PM • permalink

  23. The dvds are like any other Haraam item, wine, pork, etc.

    In that case I’m going to try to figure a way to make DVD’s from bacon rashers and a bottle of expensive wine.

    Posted by Guardian_Angel on 2005 05 14 at 09:50 PM • permalink

  24. What this guy is saying is true. I bought Betamax equipment in the eighties. I couldn’t give it away and ended up trashing it. Where’s my barakah?

    Posted by bc on 2005 05 14 at 09:59 PM • permalink

  25. Actually. America makes a pretty fair harpoon if Free Willy wants to go packin’...

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 05 14 at 10:21 PM • permalink

  26. Gee, that comment made sense in this thread…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 05 14 at 10:24 PM • permalink

  27. Hey, if you’re going to designate polio vaccines haraam, why scruple at DVDs?

    Posted by Achillea on 2005 05 14 at 10:29 PM • permalink

  28. Re: Body Counts,

    Operation Delta Force (1997) has 104, Commando has 96. I’m not counting the people that would’ve died from huge explosions that you never saw in the film. I’ve been told that Rambo III has roughly the same amount. But the winner is:

    Christopher Walken’s McBain - this film has somewhere between 400 and 600 on-screen individual kills, mostly hapless rebel forces running at machine guns. However, it’s kinda boring, even despite the body count.

    Posted by Leigh on 2005 05 14 at 11:40 PM • permalink

  29. Andjam — Actually, that was Bugs channeling Groucho Marx…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 05 14 at 11:56 PM • permalink

  30. If you follow “ask-the-imam” at all, you’d know that any representation of an animate object is haraam (forbidden) in islam.
    This is the extension of the prohibition of idolatry. If you can’t make any images, then you cannot worship them.

    So television and video (in any form) is forbidden, if depicting animate objects.
    It’s the same for photographs or illustrations in books.
    You can say to your kid “a for apple”, but you cannot show a picture of an apple to reinforce the message.

    Now, this means that watching Al-Jazera is haraam, making or playing videos of hostages is haraam, and making or playing videos of beheadings of hostages is haraam, too.

    So, if Allah Ta’ala knows best, the kidnappers of Douglas Wood are Shaytanni agents, and all on their way to hell.

    Posted by pog-ma-thon on 2005 05 15 at 12:01 AM • permalink

  31. Further on my #28 post, I forgot about Dolph Lundgren’s The Punisher, which is shorter than most action movies and has about 110 kills (off the top of my head), including a couple of utterly pointless massacres which are quite enjoyable.

    (Sorry for watching so many B-grade action movies.)

    Posted by Leigh on 2005 05 15 at 12:28 AM • permalink

  32. Once again we need the guidance of Mufti of the Muff.

    Is he still available?

    Posted by Henry boy on 2005 05 15 at 12:33 AM • permalink

  33. Yeah, The Punisher probably has my favorite high-bodycount scenes.  I remember renting it when I was 15-16 and laughing at how silly it was.

    From elsewhere on Ask-Imam.com:

    For example, if you are tempted to masturbate, think of having to bathe in a tub of worms, and eat several of them as you do the act.

    Posted by tachyonshuggy on 2005 05 15 at 04:06 AM • permalink

  34. What if you have a worm fetish?

    Posted by Aging Gamer on 2005 05 15 at 10:35 AM • permalink

  35. Wasn’t that a stunt on Fear Factor?

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 05 15 at 12:21 PM • permalink

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