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DUCKMAN SIDES WITH CATMEAT
The Age’s Michael Leunig is obsessed:
At some stage well into the journey you may notice a deluge of advertisements for drugs that help men to get erections, and you may find the city adorned with photographs of naked and semi-naked young women on billboards and magazines, and on the television you may see music clips featuring a continuous throbbing smorgasbord of models and dancing girls thrusting their oiled breasts and wet lips and glistening bottoms at you and groaning and clawing and stroking frantically between their legs - the place where babies are born from - and all around you will notice images of attractive, willing, hot, horny, pre-orgasmic, aching-for-penetration women gasping into the camera for you ...
That paragraph runs for another 237 throbbing words (although never again reaching the lyrical heights of “the place where babies are born from”) leading to Michael’s conclusion that, hey, maybe Sheik Hilali got it right after all:
Sometimes a religious figure, such as a mufti, makes a sermon about human nature, rape and the general sexual madness - a bit like parents do to their children in private: “Look after yourself, take responsibility - there are some dark forces and crazy people out there who will destroy you if you’re not careful.” But the mufti uses ripe, rustic language, earthy metaphors and unpleasant ideas. He is set up and set upon by a national newspaper and told to shut up and resign. The Prime Minister chimes in. The mufti is denounced.
But while we may not agree with everything he says, we sort of understand something of what he’s trying to get at. In the great tradition that Australians are meant to admire, he’s at least having a go in difficult terrain where all sorts of silver-tongue-tied experts are refusing to travel and are remaining silent about.
Here’s a reminder of what Hilali was getting at:
• Adulterers should be whipped.
• Thieves should have their hands amputated.
• Disbelievers are “the most evil of God’s creation on the face of the earth” and will be consigned to Hell for all eternity.
• Behind every thief is a “woman like hell” (from Canada and Mexico, apparently) whose greed pushes him.
• Victims of rape should be jailed for life.
• Rapists should merely be disciplined and taught a lesson in morals.
• Women wouldn’t be raped if they remained isolated in their rooms and never went out.
• Women are Satan’s soldiers.
The sub-heading to Leunig’s piece says of all this: “A diversity of opinion is something to be celebrated, not shunned.”
(Via Rob B.)
Mr Leunig, please stop your caterwauling.
Do they pay you double at The Age if you type with one hand?
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 11 10 at 11:18 PM • permalinkI’ve ascribed the term “turgid” to other writers quoted here at Tim’s Place. Nothing I’ve read, however, sinks into the turgid muck and mire as this quote does. It’s a good thing most of ducky’s exposure (you should forgive the term) is in cartoons; if the people had to put up with this sort of thing, he’d find himself hung from the highest tree by vigilantes filled with righteous—and I do mean righteous—indignation.
“...the place where babies come from…” Oh, please. How old is this guy? Five? Six? If I were the Sheik, I’d disavow his support.
groaning and clawing and stroking frantically between their legs - the place where babies are born from
First up, Jackie Collins couldn’t write saucier, lustier more sex hyped prose. Congrats to Loonig for becomeing a smut writer.
Second, that place where babies come from, well, if you’re a duck, it’s an egg I think.
Let me get this straight - when a Wonderbread southern Christian fundamentalist says, “Women should dress modestly out of a sense of decency”, Leftards scream he’s a patriarchal theocratic fascist. When a Moslem cleric says, “Women should dress modestly if they don’t want to provoke their own rape”, Leftards say we should look for the pearls of wisdom in his too-easily-misunderstood-and-misconstrued statement.
If I didn’t know better, I’d say Leftards have no guiding principles whatsoever except reflexive disdain for their political opponents and uncritical support for their opponents’ opponents.
Oh, dear gawd.
It was a dark and stormy night…
What is it with these leftist wannabe-writers waxing purple and putrid?
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 11 10 at 11:33 PM • permalinkDave S.
If I didn’t know better, I’d say Leftards have no guiding principles whatsoever except reflexive disdain for their political opponents and uncritical support for their opponents’ opponents.
Yes, “the enemy of my enemy is my friend” is Leftard gospel, even (especially?) if said “friends” would murder them just as easily.
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 11 10 at 11:36 PM • permalinkThere is no consistancy in any leftist belief because those who are able to become leftists are not capable of relating cause to effect.
If they were, they couldnt be lefists.
Just gota glom on to the reality that they are what they are and that what they are is alien to anyone that deals in rational consideration of true fact, events in context or the affects of actions as demonstrated over time.
silver-tongue-tied experts are refusing to travel and are remaining silent about.
Thats crap Leunig. They are NOT refusing to travel there and definitely NOT remaining silent. They are strongly and loudly addressing and disagreeing with that idiots words. The problem for you is just that they aren’t saying what you want them to say.
I can’t for the life of me understand how anyone with an ounce of humanity could ever, ever think there is even the slightest excuse for rape.
Loonig: “A diversity of opinion is something to be celebrated, not shunned.”
Anti-Loonig:
A too-open mind is like a gutter drain - filling with all the street filth, but still believing it is doing some service to the community.A too-open mind contains arguments like a barbed-wire canoe contains air.
Not all lefties have delusional/puerile views. e.g. Christopher Hitchens, the late Oriana Fallaci to name but two.
I just saw on TV that Sheik Hilali will be on (Australian) 60 Minutes tomorrow night. Its not a program I normally watch but I think I will this time. In the excerpt shown he looked like he was being a dickhead again.
“ON A RECENT JOURNEY in the far north I learned that the male green turtle does not reach sexual maturity until the age of 60. “Just like me!” I thought”
Yup turtles breathe through thier asses, never heard of one speaking through it though.
“men’s sex clubs, peeping booths, pussy parlours and brothels popping up like toadstools”
The fruit of the permissive 70’s taken to its logical extreme? I thought loonypig was all for liberaton?
“Personally, I like my swamis, muftis and bishops to use rip-roaring colourful language,”
Hows thios then you flakey fuckwit. You can take your whiny little comics, fold them till they are all corners and some them up your poor abused goatse loving ass.
“but I like my immigrants with a lot of terroir,”
Was that a typo??
” G’day mate. Gleichschaltung!”
Beneath comtempt, you foul little wooly headed, bent knobbed, assclown.
Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2006 11 11 at 12:06 AM • permalinkLetters to the editor will take a different slant this week:
Dear The Age
I always wondered if the letters you printed were real but something incredible happened to me the other day…
Posted by Art Vandelay on 2006 11 11 at 12:16 AM • permalinkHow much longer are they going to go on pretending that Michael Leunig and Mark Morford are two different people?
Posted by Paul Zrimsek on 2006 11 11 at 12:33 AM • permalink#22 Why doesn’t Leunig convert to Islam. Perhaps he really knows more than he tells.
Just compare the ‘freedom’ of Christian converts even in ‘Moderate Liberal Turkey’.
No ‘Lakemba Churches’ there!From Dhimmiwatch, where more is printed on this. Since we spend so much time on Moslems in Australia I don’t apologise for this as it WON’T get any press here:
Church firebombed in Turkey
November 9 (Compass Direct News) – Unidentified assailants hurled six Molotov cocktails at a Protestant place of worship in western Turkey last Saturday (November 4), breaking windows and inflicting minor damages on the exterior of the building.
The attack followed months of repeated harassment by unknown elements against the small Protestant congregation in the town of Odemis, 65 miles east of Izmir.
The explosives were described as homemade devices placed inside beer bottles.
Pastor Mehmet Sahin Coban of the Odemis Love Protestant Church said he was away from the building, where he and his family live… [seeing] flaming objects thrown against the walls, Coban notified police and then hurried to the scene.
Attackers had been throwing stones at the church building almost every night for the past two weeks, Coban said. Although he had reported the incidents to Odemis security police, he said no action was taken.“I have freedom to worship as a Protestant,” the newspaper quoted Coban as saying. “Six years ago I changed my religious identity to Protestant [Christian]. I have freedom of religion as a citizen of the Turkish republic. The religion written on my identity card is my religion.”
Registration Denied:
The 46-year-old Coban, who said he converted to Christianity 14 years ago, said his small congregation has been unable to obtain formal “church” status since it began meeting seven years ago.
In February 2004, Coban said the church had applied in writing to the Odemis municipality to register the location as a place of worship. But 10 months later, the city sent a formal refusal.
Local security police have since pressured the group to close the church because it did not have legal status, Coban said.
... the church had installed some shutters, as well as iron grilles over windows…Despite the cost, Coban said, his congregation is now looking for a lawyer to help them secure their rights as Turkish citizens..
Dave S asked:
So how long before kilo comes in here to remind us that we like boobies?
Or Mirandas shows up to babble something about blogheads or blogmires or hobblogblins or Blog knows what…
Dunno, though I suspect they’ll be reminded not long after that while we may like boobies, we don’t like boobs.
Posted by Patrick Chester on 2006 11 11 at 12:59 AM • permalinkOH my goodness! is this the picture of the leftist intellectual artist Australia needs to export as a cultural treasure?
Any society other that mine is superior and worthy of praise and it is my duty to excuse their excesses at all times, to expunge my own guilt over the barbaric imperialism of my own race.
Hopefully he will enter the confessional and stay there for the next five years.So how long before kilo comes in here to remind us that we like boobies?
kilo would be stupid enough to point out the obvious to us, wouldn’t he?
As for Leunig…..he ought to consider changing careers from being a shitty cartoonist to writing trashy romance novels. He’ll make a fortune!
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 11 11 at 01:40 AM • permalink#7 Dave S. has it exactly right, but I would substitute
“Bible-banging” for “Wonderbread”.I would love to hear a scientific explanation for the Leftard ability to go from extreme hatred of the Christian religious right to sappy love-sickness for the Islamic religious right in less than 3 seconds.
Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2006 11 11 at 01:51 AM • permalinkI have a book of Leunig’s cartoons titled “The Bedtime Leunig” published in 1981. ($3.95 at A&R’s, Civic, ACT).
It is a small paperback of about 100 (un-numbered) pages, and is full of clever, funny, contemplative and sometimes poignant drawings.A wonderful little book.
What the hell happened to Leunig in the intervening 25 years to turn him into a bitter and twisted hate filled arsehole?
Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2006 11 11 at 02:13 AM • permalinkGreat tomes have been assembled on the subject of this mysterious landscape
I initially read this as: “Great tomatoes have been assembled…”
I like my version better.Posted by carpefraise on 2006 11 11 at 02:54 AM • permalink8. Spiny Norman
It was a dark and stormy night…
It was a dark and stormy place where babies are born from…
Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2006 11 11 at 02:56 AM • permalink“A diversity of opinion is something to be celebrated, not shunned.”
In my opinion, Leunig is a fuckwit.
Celebrate my diversitah!
Posted by Oafish and Infantile on 2006 11 11 at 04:30 AM • permalinkIt sounds to me like he wants us to rewind to the 1950’s. A time of modesty, chastity, church on Sundays, white picket fences and…... Bob Menzies.
Leunig’s head must be in a very bad place if his favourite decade is also supposedly the time John Howard wants us to go back to.
Posted by mr creosote on 2006 11 11 at 04:44 AM • permalinkUmm, but I also think that duck hunting was unregulated in the 1950’s, so on second thoughts, maybe Leunig wouldn’t enjoy the decade that much.
Posted by mr creosote on 2006 11 11 at 04:47 AM • permalinkLeuning seems to be doing more writing than cartooning lately.
Perhaps he’s growing impatient with us. We’re just not getting the message!
Don’t worry, Loonduck, we’re getting it. We have to keep our nostrils pinched shut, but we’re getting it.Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 11 11 at 05:09 AM • permalinkPah, this sort of pap from Leunig, lapped up by the chattering classes shits me to tears.
Imagine if Howard had uttered the sheik’s words? Does Leunig actually think that a reclusive, divorced artist who has a penchant for ducks riding teapots would be tolerated in an Islamic society?
Jeez he is an idiot. There are some people who DESERVE a caliphate. He and Marr are just two. Fuckwits.
“the place where babies are born from”
Huh? Memphis?
ps: those waiting to be entertained by kilo’s usual contribution of stooooopidity .... I recall Andrea doing the Zulu spear job on him.
Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 11 11 at 06:30 AM • permalink“Women wouldn’t be raped if they remained isolated in their rooms and never went out.”
This is also true of sheiks and muftis. I think the sheikh ought to be confined for his own safety. Otherwise, he runs the risk of being anally raped by the toe of my boot (needless to say this would be 90% the sheik’s responsibilty, seeing as how he’s a worthless fuckwad, and his very existence is an invitation for an ass-kicking).
“we sort of understand something of what he’s trying to get at.”
“Al-Hilali has stirred controversy before. He had denied the Holocaust, defended suicide bombers, described as ‘God’s work’ the 2001 terrorist attacks in the United States, and blamed Jews for ‘all the wars and problems that threaten the peace and stability of the world.’”
I totally understand what this maggot is getting at, and if he should ever come to Canyon, California, I’ll personally rip his fucking head off, and shit down his neck.
Hope, you understand what I’m getting at.
Sorry about the language folks, but I’ve pretty much had a gutful of assholes like the Mufti of Oz, or whatever the hell his title is.
Posted by Dave Surls on 2006 11 11 at 07:17 AM • permalinkI’ve always figured that the ultimate trump against relativism is rape: “Under what circumstances is rape the right thing to do?” Usually, that question sends the “there is no absolute right or wrong” types into sputtering and, finally, silence.
I guess I’ve been wrong. We’re witnessing the Western left coming to the decision that, yes, there are times and places at which rape is justifiable. How long for them to do the same for slavery—another absolute right under Islamic law. Or did they already do that during their period of drooling over the Soviets?
*shudder*
No, thanks. I’ll stay an unenlightened “rightard”.
Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 11 11 at 09:43 AM • permalinkPaul Zrimsek, that was my thought exactly.
How funny it is, that for years Western social conservatives have been complaining about the in-your-face, 24/7 tawdry cheap sex infesting the landscape, and every time they did they could rely on progressive liberal lefties like Leunig to have conniption fits about “freedom of expression” and “prudish Christian theocrats who want to lock women up in chastity belts” and so on. When all the so-cons had to do was put a kewl, exotic Muslim spin on things to get the slavish approval of these dodos. If only we had known, we’d have sprinkled our rhetoric with more terms like “burqa” (instead of “modest dress”) and called women “meat.”
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 11 11 at 09:48 AM • permalinkYet being “offensive” appears to be a new type of calamity or crime in Australia, and the problem is that you can commit it without having any intention of doing so. Somebody, anybody, can find you guilty and that’s it - an open-and-shut-up case - all because you spoke your peculiar, passionate mind. People seem to take as much offence as they possibly can these days - it’s almost a new type of greed, a new kind of road rage.
Same old story. Freedom of speech for them. But not for us. Leunig and his nasty minded preacher are allowed to be offensive. Why? Because they are such holy men.
Well fuck them. Leunig is a dirty minded miserable greasy fingered old pervert. This thing has proved it beyond doubt. So is that other bloke. They both should be on some kind of public registry so decent folk in the neighbourhood are warned.
Do you find that offensive Leunig? Well you would have to the last guy on the planet with a right to complain.
I would love to hear a scientific explanation for the Leftard ability to go from extreme hatred of the Christian religious right to sappy love-sickness for the Islamic religious right in less than 3 seconds.
Amen (am I allow to say that?) I want to know if there is a scientific explanation on how Leftist heads don’t explode from the internal dissonance.
Posted by CrankyNeocon on 2006 11 11 at 10:28 AM • permalinkI want to know if there is a scientific explanation on how Leftist heads don’t explode from the internal dissonance.
An empty shell accomodates many things.
Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 11 11 at 10:37 AM • permalinkAh, Leunig. I recall this is the same fellow who found God in his tea-kettle after constructing a cartoon so effective in its promotion of plurality, diversity, freedom-of-speech etc that the Iranian government shortlisted it for some sort of anti-semitic cartoon prize.
Moral: lefties’ heads may not explode, but whatever is swimming around in them is clearly churned up like all buggery.
Hmmmm.
#62: ROFLMAO!
Thanks man. That’s the funniest thing I’ve read yet today.
Posted by memomachine on 2006 11 11 at 12:16 PM • permalinkThat was just a pissed-off grimace.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 11 11 at 02:20 PM • permalink#52, Dave Surls: I’ll personally rip his fucking head off, and shit down his neck.
That’s one of those classic lines from R. Lee Ermey, the Poet Laureate of obscenity, from “Full Metal Jacket.”
Posted by Bruce Lagasse on 2006 11 11 at 02:59 PM • permalinkOkay, I just read the whole article. It took some doing. Turgid is definitely the word I’d use for it.
Apart from canonising Catmeat, he thinks that
The famous politician, culture warrior and pre-emptive war person Adolf Hitler had an eye for enchanting language and interesting words
Well, Mr Leunig, he also had a pnechant for crapping on his girlfriends, which is more in alignment with all the stuff you deplore about today’s society than your idealised, sanitised, fascist state.
As for deriding us oh, so gently, tenderly as his own version of an existing fascist state, mate, you wouldn’t know one if it fell on you.
Personally, I prefer TISM’s take on Hitler.
Defecate On My Face
Come home tired, what a day I’ve had
News ain’t good from Stalingrad
I’ve been busy protecting the German race
So come on baby, defecate on my face[chorus:]
So, come on baby, send it on down
Bend over Braun and gimme your brown
There’s trouble brewing in the Warsaw Pact
So hurry up Eva and move your digestive tract
Defecate on my face (x8)Get to the bunker, looks like a stye
Turn on the TV, it’s all one big lie
Here, Eva, have these prunes to chew
We have ways of making you poo.(chorus)
{Yesterday my troubles seemed so far away}
Here come the Russians, it’s near the end
Proud to say that my girl never used an s-bend.
What’s that, Eva? Your bowel is on strike?
Then it’s all over for my Third Reich.(chorus)
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 11 11 at 03:53 PM • permalinkBugger. And I even used the perview. pnechant should be penchant, but you knew that.
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 11 11 at 03:54 PM • permalink#58 Crankyneocon,
The leftists’ heads are empty, so there is plenty of room inside for the gasses from their decaying thoughts to expand without exploding the skull.Posted by Michael Lonie on 2006 11 11 at 08:45 PM • permalinkI found Leunig’s article repulsive. Clearly, he had not read a translation of Hilaly’s sermon (or if he had, he’d put his own sick misogynist intepretation on it).
Hilaly was not just saying that the current sexualised culture is bad and that girls shouldn’t go out alone after dark (which is what Leunig implies). Hilaly was saying that if a man sees an “immodestly dressed” woman, then it’s understandable if he loses control and sexually assaults or rapes her, and he should not be held responsible.
Under Hilaly’s definition, most Australian women (Muslim and non-Muslim) are immodestly dressed - it’s immodest to go out without covering one’s head, to wear a knee-length skirt, to wear a t-shirt, to wear shorts or to wear a swimming costume at the beach. Consequently, as a feminist and a mother of a young girl, I abhor the sentiments expressed in his sermon. I don’t want my child to feel that if she wears a t-shirt she’s “asking” to get raped. In effect, his sermon encouraged conduct which is against Australian law.
Leunig’s article used gross stereotypes and was misogynist, patronising and appalling. If I were a green turtle, I’d be deeply offended by his suggestion that he was spiritually akin to me (and I’ve put a cartoon post on my blog to that effect - seems like a cartoon is the best way of getting back at a cartoonist).
Posted by Legal Eagle on 2006 11 11 at 10:38 PM • permalinkthe place where babies are born from
“He could restrain himself no longer, thrusting vigorously into her maternity ward…”
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 11 12 at 02:51 AM • permalinkLeunig reveals himself as a disgusting depraved individual.
He should read this article about Muslim Rape, and Feminist Silence but I suppose he would be unmoved.
Leunig is sick and tormented, but what a disgraceful ‘newspaper’ that gives him column space to vent his poison!
#73 Legal Eagle, thank you for articulating exactly how I feel about this whole crapfest.
I’m also the mother of a young daughter, and used to call myself a feminist. Now I just call myself a person.
I live in an area with a decent population of immigrants, plenty of them muslim, and I resent the idea that I should watch what I wear because I know that they will consider me an infidel whore.
I remember all the skimpy dresses I wore out and about in my partying days - and there were a lot of those - I’m amazed that I never got harrassed. Not when with friends, and not alone.
It makes me wonder what planet catmeat lives on that I should be hidden away under a letterbox costume for my own good.
Australian men aren’t animals.
They are men. And that’s what I love about ‘em.
Muslim men, on the other hand…..
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 11 12 at 05:58 AM • permalinkO/T
Thanks for introducing me to the wonders of Ask the Imam - now instead of wasting time doing stuff like washing etc before I go to work I’m productively reading this site
http://islam.tc/ask-imam/view.php?q=15922
Most impressed by the vast range of rulings given by the Imam - rulings on everything in life!
This one specifically bans smiley faces on the internet as they are animate objects
I’m imagining a committee of very serious clerics debating the status of the smiley face
Posted by aussiemagpie on 2006 11 12 at 10:17 PM • permalink#84 kae
The Religion of Managed Minutiae.
Exactly! And yes I’m reading more - it’s become a bit addictive really as it’s just so amazing
My local RC priest would faint if I asked him if I could pluck my eyebrows, eat snails, use nail polish with the dreaded alcohol in it or even how to pluck a chook properly!
Posted by aussiemagpie on 2006 11 12 at 10:44 PM • permalink#87 kae
In Islam personal responsibilty is an unknown thing obviously
Brainwashing from birth to be led
Posted by aussiemagpie on 2006 11 12 at 10:58 PM • permalink#89 kae
Submission - must be the pits to have to rely on others all the time in making decisions
Must be a mind numbing way of life
Totally opposite of how we think
Posted by aussiemagpie on 2006 11 12 at 11:24 PM • permalink
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I’m thinking of a word that begins with an “H”. A capital “H”, in Leunig’s case. Because you know, he’s all for everyone having a different opinion than himself. That’s what he’s all about.