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DRIVING LESSONS

The burnout, the rollback, and the doughnut ... all helpfully explained for the novice driver.

UPDATE. In other driving news, the UK Telegraph reports:

Gas-guzzling sports cars, 4x4s and people carriers could be priced off the road within five years after a crackdown on carbon emissions to be announced by the European Commission this month.

The average new car in 2012 will have to emit no more than 120 grams of carbon per kilometre under proposals to be announced by Stavros Dimas, the European Environment Commissioner. The rule change could add more than £3,300 to the cost of a vehicle.

So what form of car will Europeans be left with?  

The Citroen C3 diesel emits exactly 120 grams of carbon per kilometre — the average that the European Commission will set as a legal requirement for every car manufacturer’s range in 2012. A supercharged Range Rover Sport V8 emits 376 grams and a five-door petrol Ford Focus 1.6 emits 184 —which indicates the degree of progress required to meet the new standard.

UPDATE II. The dullness threat spreads to Canada:

Canada’s largest private sector union said on Thursday that thousands of jobs in the auto industry could be at risk if a left-leaning opposition party succeeds in persuading the government to quickly introduce binding emissions standards on vehicles.

Posted by Tim B. on 01/12/2007 at 07:37 PM
  1. My wife was just complaining last night about the new TV series Dangerous (about ram-raiding youfs) - that with all the controversy around now about P-platers, it’s bad timing for such a series. Nice of the Tele to help out.

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 01 12 at 07:51 PM • permalink

  2. Will Auburn Macca’s carpark be the venue for such tuition?

    Posted by Nic on 2007 01 12 at 07:54 PM • permalink

  3. I laugh in the face of carbon emissions. I have regular competitions with my car’s trip computer to see just how many litres per 100km it can do.

    Posted by Marty K on 2007 01 12 at 08:01 PM • permalink

  4. Diesels, eh? Have fun with the particulates, Eurobunnies.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 01 12 at 08:02 PM • permalink

  5. Sure, but can the Citroen C3 outpace a gang of wilding yoots?

    I mean, what good is a carbon friendly vehicle if it cant outrun the Mommad Profiteers on a nightly burning frenzy?

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 01 12 at 08:06 PM • permalink

  6. Oh, sorry. I didn’t read the lead post closely enough.

    This is a silly concern. By 2012, it’s gonna all be acording to Sharia Law and Sharia dont care about no carbon stuffs.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 01 12 at 08:08 PM • permalink

  7. How many grams per km would this emit?

    Posted by Ian Deans on 2007 01 12 at 08:12 PM • permalink

  8. Max speed (mph) 98
    0-62 mph (sec) 15.9

    The hell with that.  You drive it.

    Posted by Keith on 2007 01 12 at 08:15 PM • permalink

  9. As I sit in traffic, choking on the fumes from the early-90s Mercedes turbo-diesel in front of me, I wonder in utter amazement that the car in front of me supposedly “pollutes” far less than my 1995 Acura V6, and that the environaughts think we’d be better off driving those.

    Heh.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 01 12 at 08:25 PM • permalink

  10. Why would any young, go-getting European male with half a gram of testosterone want to stay in Europe? The whole place is drier than a witch’s tit.

    Hell, if all I could drive as a young bloke was a Citroen C3 I would have started torching them myself.

    Idiots.

    Posted by JonathanH on 2007 01 12 at 08:37 PM • permalink

  11. Recall Adam Spencer (Mathematician, JJJ, etc.) from a NSW committee advocating carbon-taxing cars by engine capacity, not weight.

    Thus penalising a less-polluting Monaro CV8 [Pontiac GTO] e.g. over a Pajero V6 SUV (bet I can guess what he drives ...).

    AFAIK rego already penalises on weight ... want more revenue? Bump that component up, f*tard.

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 01 12 at 08:38 PM • permalink

  12. When the Islamists inherit Europe they will get rid off these ridiculous laws and teach them how to drive….

    Posted by bondo on 2007 01 12 at 08:42 PM • permalink

  13. Spiny, “pollutes” is indeed the critical term.

    Look at all of those asinine Tele readers who wrote in, whining about “pollution”.

    Fuckwits like that just stare at you with glassy eyes and an open mouth when you remind them that carbon dioxide is not a pollutant, but in fact is an essential trace compound necesssary for the continuation of life on this planet.

    Fucking idiots.

    Posted by Kaboom on 2007 01 12 at 08:43 PM • permalink

  14. PS - I am touchy on this subject because I recently had to sell my beloved fuel-injected V6 Pajero and buy a *choke* Tarago as we needed a genuine 7-seater. So now effectively my wife has two cars (if you can call the damn thing a car), and I have none.

    That’s my reward for breeding too much, I guess. Never mind. Revenge will be sweet in a couple of years.

    Posted by JonathanH on 2007 01 12 at 08:44 PM • permalink

  15. PIMF - I meant “get rid of”

    Posted by bondo on 2007 01 12 at 08:45 PM • permalink

  16. Can you gain carbon credits if you engage whisper drive* (neutral) on the downhill bits?
    *requires sufficiently high enough relativistic entry speed

    Posted by lotocoti on 2007 01 12 at 08:47 PM • permalink

  17. Thought it was heat-haze induced double-vision, but on approaching from the other direction was a white Toyota Prius heavily tailgating a small white hatchback (moving at a reasonable speed, it seemed) up a slight hill on the NE Hwy.

    Can’t speed-up (Green) progress enough for some, I guess; lead-foot in a Prius ... *shakes head*

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 01 12 at 09:02 PM • permalink

  18. Oh no. Right now there could be some beauracrat in Victoria salivating over this idea from the Euros. The only positive is that though the Cirtron is French, it is diesel, so it won’t self combust as fast.

    Posted by BJM on 2007 01 12 at 09:17 PM • permalink

  19. Or the car maanufacturers could just sell their product in China and South America and tell the EUnuchs to take a walk, literally.

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 01 12 at 09:20 PM • permalink

  20. Sounds to me like they’re more interested in keeping out imports than improving air quality. Much like the EU’s recent decision that all products must be labeled with metric units AND ONLY METRIC UNITS. They’d basically be requiring American products—or anything that might be sold in the US—to have two sets of labels.

    Posted by Rob Crawford on 2007 01 12 at 09:22 PM • permalink

  21. SMH truthiness:

    During the ethanol debate there was a lot of emotion based on what, as recalled by Mr Fletcher, were proven fabricated claims of ethanol-related engine damage not only in New South Wales but also in Victoria; none of those werefound to be substantiated. Indeed, in the case of the Sydney Morning Herald article that started this off on 18 December last year, that paper issued a retraction and an apology for that article acknowledging that it was a fabrication.

    From Senate Hansard

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 01 12 at 09:44 PM • permalink

  22. Sounds to me like they’re more interested in keeping out imports than improving air quality

    Got it in one, Rob. Them Frenchies know they make the best little cars -with the emphasis on little.

    Just compare the reputation of the enemy testosterone Germans.  It’s a grab to control the EUnuchs. 
    Silly, but you’ve got to admire that panache.

    Posted by Barrie on 2007 01 12 at 09:47 PM • permalink

  23. If all of this Eurotrash has to have everything in metric how come my Peugeot 206 only offers tyre pressure measurement in bars - who the hell (other than the French) uses bars??!!

    —Nora

    PS The 206 is (was) made in Britain.

    PPS - I do really love my 206. It may have no off-the-mark grunt but she corners like a champ (faster the better) ::grin::

    Posted by The Thin Man Returns on 2007 01 12 at 10:05 PM • permalink

  24. #5 Grimmy

    Sure, but can the Citroen C3 outpace a gang of wilding yoots?

    With a big enough head start…

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 01 12 at 10:27 PM • permalink

  25. Anyone know what a Hummer emits - 1000, 2000, 3000 grams per km?

    Posted by Bonmot on 2007 01 12 at 10:30 PM • permalink

  26. #25 Bonmot

    Probably not all that much more than the Range Rover Sport… for the gasoline-powered civilian models anyway. Diesels (like the military version) would probably be somewhat less.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 01 12 at 10:40 PM • permalink

  27. #22 Them Frenchies know they make the best little cars -with the emphasis on little.

    As James May said on Top Gear: “For a nation composed essentially of peasants and Communists, the French do know how to make a good small car.”

    Or words to that effect ...

    Posted by Crispytoast on 2007 01 12 at 10:50 PM • permalink

  28. Solved! The EU’s answer to car emissions and mass transport.

    Posted by Dminor on 2007 01 12 at 10:54 PM • permalink

  29. #8
    0-100 mph (sec)  .... breaks out calendar ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 01 12 at 11:02 PM • permalink

  30. #27 Crispytoast

    As James May said on Top Gear: “For a nation composed essentially of peasants and Communists, the French do know how to make a good small car.”

    Or words to that effect ...

    Well, perhaps, but they certainly did a piss-poor job of competing with the Japanese in North America.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 01 12 at 11:08 PM • permalink

  31. Fortunately, these are only average targets. Come 2012, while the proletarian masses may be required to pedal to work in their Flintstonemobiles, their government betters and media superiors will still be able to be chauffered to shoe boutiques and climate-change conventions in the serene 517hp comfort of a Mercedes CL, without affecting the mean carbon output.

    Posted by Crispytoast on 2007 01 12 at 11:14 PM • permalink

  32. Great way to kill an industry, that EU plan.

    MarkL
    canberra

    Posted by MarkL on 2007 01 12 at 11:21 PM • permalink

  33. The spaghetti chompers are gold medal favourites in useless nation stakes, but the day an Italian agrees to these laws, is the day I face Mecca and take a goat as my dearly beloved.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 01 12 at 11:27 PM • permalink

  34. AFAIK an EU global manufacturing Co. I worked for had to resort to using Cat diesels in their global industrial products in lieu of e.g. Benz as the (EU-spec) Mercs couldn’t handle the crud diesel in the biggest markets: China & India; the EU’s loss that the more ‘agricultural’ big US Cats could do the job better ...

    China now becoming the global manufacturing base in which they’ll be ramming as many Cats in as they can ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 01 12 at 11:34 PM • permalink

  35. The Europeans should just give up on pretending that they’re living in the 21st century and use these.  Emissions problem solved, no flammable parts, little or no effect on their already tanking economies.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 01 13 at 12:21 AM • permalink

  36. #32 And leftist shit-for-brains are in the same boat in Canada, MarkL:
    http://www.thestar.com/News/article/170426

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 01 13 at 12:21 AM • permalink

  37. #14 - oh, that hurts. I have thought fondly of Pajeros since toodling around Sarajevo in one in 1997 - all those Yugo seemed to cower away from the mighty Pajero.

    #25 - uparmored HMMWV or non-uparmored?  :)

    Posted by Major John on 2007 01 13 at 12:25 AM • permalink

  38. #33 And tell it to suck your nuts?

    Posted by JonathanH on 2007 01 13 at 12:25 AM • permalink

  39. #35 RebeccaH - I bags the Sad Faced Fire Truck.

    Posted by Dminor on 2007 01 13 at 12:28 AM • permalink

  40. #38 - Goats will eat just about anything. I think I’ll have a crack at fathering a few sprogs with a female human before offering a goat a chance with the family jewels!

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 01 13 at 12:32 AM • permalink

  41. #35
    Great link; the lil’ lard @rses sit on battery jobs nowadays ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 01 13 at 12:37 AM • permalink

  42. Now we have living proof that the EU and the leftwing nuts that control it are anti-car, anti-western civilisation, anti-progress, anti-human.

    By setting such impossibly high emission targets we’ll all be driving econo-shitboxes thus completing one of the left’s cherished aims -  to take the expensive toys off those who have worked for them. Make us all equal to the lowest common denominator. Goodbye expensive Beemers and Mercs. Toodle-oo Audi and Cadillac.

    Posted by Bonmot on 2007 01 13 at 12:40 AM • permalink

  43. #40

    You’re sunk now, IT.
    That phrase is going to be on your tombstone.

    Posted by JonathanH on 2007 01 13 at 12:45 AM • permalink

  44. #34 _egg
    I don’t know where you live but if you’re an Aussie, you’ll know Kerry Stokes. Most people think he makes his dough out of the 7 Network.
    Wrong.
    He makes his growing mountain of dosh from owning a Caterpillar refurbishment plant in China. The refurbishment plant in fact. The only one in the world licensed by Cat.

    Where all the tired and nearly dead Cats are taken and cannibalised or refurbed and then resold around the world - or as happens most often, are sold and used locally for their building boom.

    Cheap labor, canibalised parts, giant market, western pricing. Recipe to print money.

    Posted by Bonmot on 2007 01 13 at 12:47 AM • permalink

  45. As a descriptive term for the European car of the future, at least the name fits .

    Posted by paco on 2007 01 13 at 12:51 AM • permalink

  46. Wilding Yoots:
    Did that car just go “bleep bleep?...”

    Posted by mojo on 2007 01 13 at 12:53 AM • permalink

  47. Bringing in that law could be a good thing - hitting the general population where it hurts, for once in truly obvious fashion, might stimulate it into questioning the Kyoto treaty a little more. It certainly sounds like a vote loser; perhaps some opposition parties will twig to that and exploit it.

    Having said that, glad I’m on the other side of the planet.

    Posted by Dminor on 2007 01 13 at 12:53 AM • permalink

  48. #35 But if we all use pedal cars, won’t we also have to be tested for CO2 emissions as well?

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 01 13 at 01:11 AM • permalink

  49. #44
    I’m sure that Cat stitched up a cosy deal with my ex Co. (mining & construction equipment manufacturer) at the expense of the lazy EUro’s; as u say, it’s literally a goldmine in China & India at the mo’ compared to sad ol’ EU.

    FYI: I’m an Aussie & would be proud if I could trace my ancestry back to the 1st fleet, as you have.

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 01 13 at 01:12 AM • permalink

  50. #47
    the general population in Europe have been taking it where it hurts since the formation of the EU. Why do you think they have stopped having kids? One kid for every two adults. Its just too expensive, and too much hassle, to have more.

    I know a guy in England who is a top newsreader at ITV, with three kids, all at private schools. He likes his nice cars too, but only owns one, and a modest one at that. He earns the equivalent of 500K a year and after a family holiday to France or Spain has nothing left at the end of it. Nothing.

    For those further down the scale there is no point in even dreaming. All they have left is their moral purity. So they’re going to drive shitboxes and pay their carbon credits and have their .7 of a kid, and feel good about themselves? They’re welcome to try.

    The area where I live (northern NSW)is chock full of Poms who were on good incomes in the UK, or who had the chance to sell a house in London at some absurd price, then moved here to actually live a life. In Europe that’s rapidly becoming the preserve of the super-rich.

    pommygranate? comments?

    Posted by JonathanH on 2007 01 13 at 01:19 AM • permalink

  51. From Tim’s article:

    The problem here is that many parents of today’s learner drivers didn’t exactly learn under strict conditions themselves.

    How true. Everyone I know was taught by their Dad. So it follows, that if your great grandfather, who you never even met, was a shitty driver, then so are you.

    Posted by Dan Lewis on 2007 01 13 at 01:38 AM • permalink

  52. #49 egg_
    You’re amazing - you remembered my comments from yesterday re: Hilaly that I’m from convict stock.

    Howard was wrong to laugh off old Catmeat’s anti-Australian remarks but he got one thing right - we am proud of our less than honourable ancestry and wear it as a badge of honour. Unfortunately I don’t know a lot about by original ancestor except that at one stage he had been a soldier and carried two musket balls in his legs for much of his life. What a bloody interesting tale he could tell! Then transported to Australia where his kids raised other kids on the farm/orchard at Thornleigh - eventually my great grandfather owning the orchard, the pub/post office/general store at Thornleigh as well as having the contract to operate the level crossing on the northern line at Pennant Hills Road. One of his children was my grandfather who became a circus clown and a timber splitter up at Wauchope.  Another interesting life. His brother, my great-uncle, arrived at Gallipoli on May 1st 1915 and was dead five days later.

    So much is available online about the early settlers. It will take a while but perserverence will pay off. A cousin prepared to do a lot of the hard yards helps. Incidentally my original ancestor Arthur Duffy is buried in the cemetery adjoining Richie Benaud Park at Parramatta.

    Posted by Bonmot on 2007 01 13 at 01:47 AM • permalink

  53. Just one quick thought when researching the family tree.
    The maternal side can be just as interesting - most people are only interested in researching their own name - sometimes pure gold comes up from a great great grandmother or somesuch distant connection. Unfortunately, it also complicates the process enormously.

    Posted by Bonmot on 2007 01 13 at 01:55 AM • permalink

  54. #53
    Thanks for the info.
    A few decades back (pre-internet) we traced a side branch of the family (free settlers) back to Ireland; but it’s the main line we’re now tracing ... we’re arranging for a copy of one of the family bibles’ (maternal) family trees (in another state) to aid.
    The other (paternal) bible is dated 1763 ... older than Oz!
    Both bibles have family tree info and are quite old.
    One is Catholic and the other Protestant, very fitting in view of Hilali’s divisiveness; the Catholics have now all converted to (High) Church of England, mostly through marriage, would you believe ... aren’t we (infidels) a tolerant bunch?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 01 13 at 02:15 AM • permalink

  55. The best source of info are still living.
    Ask parents or grandparents about THEIR lives - even your own parents often led interesting lives before you came along.
    Grandparents can tell you about their parents - now things get old and interesting. My maternal grandfather once had a joyflight with Kingsford-Smith - you’d hate that sort of treasure to die with you. Write it down.

    Posted by Bonmot on 2007 01 13 at 02:31 AM • permalink

  56. I don’t know about you descendants of crims, but my family tree appears to be free of taint so far.  One of my ancestors came out as a guard - a member of one of the Regiments of Foot that accompanied the crims to the Swan River Colony.  He even fought at the Battle of Pinjarra, which if you google, you’ll find that the black armband brigade has taken over and now view it as a genocidal attrocity etc etc etc. 

    Well, my good Sheik, that makes me a descendant of ruthless, unstoppable, genocidal maniacs who will stop at nothing until the entire country is theirs. 

    Do not annoy me.  Blood will tell.

    Posted by mr creosote on 2007 01 13 at 03:28 AM • permalink

  57. #54,55 you’ll appreciate a bumper sticker I once saw: “My hobby is genealogy, I raise dust bunnies” (Or something like it)

    My family tree has been traced back to England on both sides.

    The maternal has a First Fleet convict, but we’ve also got Cornish miners and English settlers. Two of the Cornish families came out on the same ship from the same village. Landed at Melbourne, went to Clunes then on to Port Pirie.

    About 20 years ago my nana went to Pirie from Brisbane for a visit. She wanted to catch up with any leftover rellies, I guess, and when asked if she met any, replied, “Oh, yes, just a few.”

    When asked how many, replied, “Only about 30 or 40.” LOL.

    Considering she was one of 8, and in those days they had big families, that’s no surprise.

    I’ve got at least 40 first cousins. And I’m on speaking terms with all of them.

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 01 13 at 04:20 AM • permalink

  58. The greens have long campaigned against the automobile, particularly the big, the fast and powerful.
    However one form of oil-fuelled travel they seem to indulge in more than your average suburbanite is air travel:
    http://www.spiked-online.com/index.php?/site/article/2702/

    Posted by chrisgo on 2007 01 13 at 04:25 AM • permalink

  59. #53 Bonmot,

    Just one quick thought when researching the family tree.
    The maternal side can be just as interesting - most people are only interested in researching their own name - sometimes pure gold comes up from a great great grandmother or somesuch distant connection.

    Absolutely. My father’s ancestry disappears into mid-19th century Scotland and Friesland, but my mother’s family tree is much more complete: one of her ancestors was transported (that’s right, a convict) to Jamestown in 1629. After serving his term of indenture, he moved west. His decendents continued moving west until, by the end of the 18th Century, they were a prominent family in Kentucky and Ohio.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 01 13 at 05:10 AM • permalink

  60. I say bring it on, EU.  The car companies will have to dump their non-compliant models in other countries at bargain prices.  I’ll take a five series, thanks Mr BMW.

    Posted by entropy on 2007 01 13 at 06:51 AM • permalink

  61. You can always improve carbon emissions by driving in convoys, or coasting, if need be.

    Drafting a larger vehicle always worked with the VW Minibus anyway.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2007 01 13 at 07:26 AM • permalink

  62. Tim, Tim, Tim….

    You forgot circle work.  Donuts are fine on bitumen, but how about doing endless circles in a muddy paddock?

    Posted by mr creosote on 2007 01 13 at 08:27 AM • permalink

  63. EUssr the new USSR.

    Believe it!

    Corporate Presenter

    Posted by Jeremycj on 2007 01 13 at 12:50 PM • permalink

  64. #63

    Wow! Shilling your own blog on your first ever post! Impressive chutzpah young man.

    Umm… Good luck staying registered…

    Posted by Dan Lewis on 2007 01 13 at 04:44 PM • permalink

  65. No ancestors transported, but I do have one umpty-times great-grandfather convicted and imprisoned for adult baptism (a crime in early 18th Century Germany) who left for the more ... uhm ... liberal climate of the new world when he got out.

    Posted by Achillea on 2007 01 13 at 07:42 PM • permalink

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