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DRIVER BORED
Fairfax motoring writer Joshua Dowling drives from LA to NYC - yawning all the way:
I also haven’t counted on the sheer boredom and monotony of the landscape. To say there is nothing in Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma, Missouri, Illinois, Indiana and Ohio and the rest of the 14 states on the route would be an overstatement.
Things didn’t improve in New York:
Times Square, Saturday morning. The traffic is chaotic. I never thought I’d say this but I prefer the boredom of the Interstate.
It helps, if you’re a reporter, not to be a whiny mope. By the way, Dowling flew 12,000 kilometres to the US to drive a V8 Holden Commodore 5000 kilometres from coast to coast - at a time when his Sydney paper is pushing Earth Hour. You’d get mighty odds on Josh winning an Earth Hour t-shirt:
Tell us in 25 words or less what you’re doing for Earth Hour or what steps you’re taking to reduce your own carbon footprint.
UPDATE. UK Telegraph readers select the 100 most beautiful cars of all time. From the list, three favourites:
• The Toyota 2000 GT:
• The Citroën SM:
• And the Ferrari 250 GT SWB:
Oddly, Ford Australia’s svelte and feline Falcon GTHO didn’t win any votes:
Not even in modified “low profile” form:
(Order the Falcon shots and others here)
UPDATE III. Head over to Iowahawk immediately and donate cash, because the crazy bastard is determined to buy this. He’s serious, and if he doesn’t get his way, who knows what he may build by way of compensation.
OMG, this man must be blind. I did a bit of driving in Arizona and Ohio a few years back and have to say I travelled through some of the most remarkable country I have ever seen.
It’s a great place to indulge the classic Aussie love of extended driving holidays - I’ll be back in just a few months.
TFK
Must have missed this big ditch in the ground called the Grand Canyon…
Posted by Patrick Chester on 2008 03 21 at 10:16 AM • permalink"To say there is nothing in Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma, Missouri, Illinois, Indiana and Ohio and the rest of the 14 states on the route would be an overstatement.”
To say that you’re an idiot is entirely accurate.
Posted by Dave Surls on 2008 03 21 at 10:20 AM • permalinkLet’s see… White Sands, the Alamo, Gateway Arch, Piasa Bird, World’s Tallest Man statue, Lincoln’s Tomb, lots of old sites from the early 1800s preserved for visit by tourists and kids on field trips.
Gosh, he’s right. Nothing at all.
(Guess which state I over-represented in that list and which part of that state I was born in.) ;)
Posted by Patrick Chester on 2008 03 21 at 10:24 AM • permalinkThe US doesn’t have a huge rock covered with hippies. We also don’t have road trains.
However, we do have non-poisonous snakes.
Posted by Andy Freeman on 2008 03 21 at 10:41 AM • permalinkJoshua Dowling is motoring editor of the Sydney Morning Herald, where he has worked for nine years. As with his colleagues, he test drives more than 200 new cars every year. However, against his better judgment, Dowling also owns four near-new cars (most hacks don’t own even one). Because of this Dowling has a keen interest in the costs involved in buying, maintaining, servicing and selling cars.
Not a fan of Earth Hour, it would appear. Or chows down on cold crow every time he goes to work.
Andy Freeman wrote:
The US doesn’t have a huge rock covered with hippies.
Dunno, there’s a lot of interesting rock formations out in the West. Bound to be some hippies saying “Dude, that rock is like, so raaaaad...” and hanging around it somewhere, or soon will have that.
Posted by Patrick Chester on 2008 03 21 at 10:50 AM • permalinkWell, it you must travel by Interstate, yes, it might seem monotoneous. But here’s an idea. Try driving the state roads. Or the county and township roads. Then you’ll drive through cities, towns, villages, and hamlets. Do it in the summer and you can stop to experience small town festivals like the Circleville Pumpkin Festival (where you can experience pumpkin ice cream). Or the Ashville July 4th Festival. Or many other fun packed festivities.
Posted by wronwright on 2008 03 21 at 11:00 AM • permalinkDowling ... what can I say? Blind? A fool? It’s as if an art critic walked through the Metropolitan Museum, then said there’s not much to see.
But wronwright, as usual, hit the nail on the head. The interstates are great for getting from one place to another quickly, but if you want to really see America, take the blue highways. I might add, the best way to see our big cities - Chicago, Boston, DC, New York - is on foot.
Posted by Urbs in Horto on 2008 03 21 at 11:14 AM • permalinkI also haven’t counted on the sheer boredom and monotony of the landscape. To say there is nothing in Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma, Missouri, Illinois, Indiana and Ohio and the rest of the 14 states on the route would be an overstatement.
To say that Joshua Dowling lacks any kind of curiosity, sense of beauty, or imagination would be an overstatement. Or would that be, understatement? The man is obviously a dullard.
As the driving editor you think he would know someone in America to ask about a decent route from left coast to right. He’s right, the Interstates are kind of boring, he should have stayed on 66 if he wanted to see something. Or US 2 across the northern part of the country…
Posted by Old Tanker on 2008 03 21 at 11:24 AM • permalinkI also haven’t counted on the sheer boredom and monotony of the landscape.
Ladies and gentlemen, the nominations are in for Fool of the Year! It is unanimous! Congratulations to Joshua Dowling!
Unfortunately, Joshua couldn’t be here to pick up his nomination certificate...printed on 100% recycled paper, hand-made by impoverished third world children, I might add...because he had to catch a plane back to the
Ivory Towernewspaper to write his engaging account of our boring country.Posted by Deborah Leigh on 2008 03 21 at 11:39 AM • permalinkFunny, how I meet so many foreign tourist in Arizona, who are awed by the beauty. The desert should be amazingly colorful this year since there was alot of rain. Joshua came through some of the most diverse areas of our country, and yet he yawns? Maybe you Aussies can put him in a boat and tow him way out...don’t forget to take the paddle.
Posted by Deborah Leigh on 2008 03 21 at 11:46 AM • permalinkApparently the bleeding obvious has gone completely over the head of Mr. Dowling. They are called “interstate highways” for a reason… they were built to move traffic efficiently and quickly from one place to another, not to show the person driving the most incredible views.
But considering how little planning he did for this trip and the places he stopped to ask for directions, I’m not surprised that he missed the best parts of the US while on the road.
One has the impression he came here looking to see what bad things he could write - we all know how easy it is to write something when you have it pre-planned. Now that he’s wasted all that gas on the trip and spouted even more gaseousness in his writing, he can settle down and turn off his lights for an hour to show how he supports the environment.
What a guy.
I would guess there isn’t a 5000K stretch of U.S. Interstate-style highway in the world, where you wouldn’t notice the sheer boredom and monotony of the landscape over long stretches.
As has been pointed out, the U.S. Interstate system is designed for efficient point A to B travel, not as an action-packed thrill ride.
Folks, you need to remember that Dowling is a journalist. Being inattentive and oblivious is a job requirement. Many years ago I nearly ran over (literally) this dinky little local tv reporter when she decided to do her stand-up right in front of the entry to a busy business.
Self-centered, clue proof, obtuse, uncaring, dense. I’d say the man is certainly qualified to report on the day’s events.
Posted by mythusmage on 2008 03 21 at 12:03 PM • permalinkTell us in 25 words or less what you’re doing for Earth Hour or what steps you’re taking to reduce your own carbon footprint.
Hang myself .If I’m dead I won’t have a carbon footprint.Also, I won’t have to put up with all this bullsh*t from extremist.
Finally, I can Rest in Peace.
Posted by Wally from Nug Nug on 2008 03 21 at 12:08 PM • permalinkHell, boy! What do yew mean they ain’t nothin’ to see, ‘specially in Arizona? Do yew mean you come all the way over heah - from Awsstrailya - and you couldn’t see nothin’? Where was ya, in the trunk a’ yur car? How the hell did you did yew manage to miss this?
Why doesn’t Dowling stay the hell home?
Posted by Larry Sheldon on 2008 03 21 at 12:50 PM • permalinkAny list of Beautiful Cars that doesn’t include The Homer isn’t worth a shot of piss.
Posted by Mambo Bananapatch on 2008 03 21 at 01:00 PM • permalinkmm don’t know how i feel about my dream car being #100 on the list. *shrugs*
further to all the other remarks regarding the eejit commenting on the dullness of interstate travel - I have travelled through Ohio on I70 and yes, it is dull. but there is always beauty if you take your eyes off the tarmac and look at the surroundings. there is beauty in seeing a lone farm, a field of crops, just the unspoiled vastness of it all. obviously the man doesn’t know how to use his imagination. not surprising since he is a journalist.
A very subjective list. It included the 250 GT SWB and the 250 GTO, I love the LM 250 of the same era. Why wasn’t the Ferrari LM 250 included?
And why weren’t any of the US muscle cars of the sixties there? OK, I saw a Mustang. What was the car in the Banana Splits show, no not the buggy. Please help me.
Stevo
#31 Stevo
Here’s your reason: telegraph.co.uk. They were chosen by the Telegraph‘s British readers. I’m surprised there are any American cars on the list at all.
I have to agree about the E-type being #1, but damn there are a lot of dull, bland and downright ugly vehicles on the “best” list.
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2008 03 21 at 03:09 PM • permalinkIowahawks has a classic writeup of Turbonique products, which included rocket-powered turbochargers, rocket-powered axles, and rocket-powered rockets used for racing. One guy managed to take the Lotus philosophy of light weight and high horsepower to its to-much is just enough logical conclusion:
http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/2006/04/the_real_acme.html
Still, even with a rocket there’s a lot of weight and inertia involved in moving a large hunk of Detroit steel down a race track. That’s why many discerning folks opted for the ne plus ultra of Turbonique insanity: ROCKET THRUST GO KARTS.
If you read closely in the left image you’ll see quarter mile time slips in the mid-8.8s with speeds up to 160 mph. You will also see a small photo of our friend Dr. Gerald R. Guest piloting his Turbonique rocket kart, apparently to shake the empty ennui of too many 146 mph passes in a boring Plymouth.
Posted by Ernst Blofeld on 2008 03 21 at 04:42 PM • permalinkMe and the missus drove right round the States in 2006 - 10 weeks, 12,000 miles and 30 something states.
I found the place awe inspiring, beautiful, spectacular, lots of things but not boring.
I hate arseholes like that bloke. He should be locked up and never alolowed to travel anywhere again. A journalist that ignorant could only work for Fairfax.Memo
To: Joshua Dowling
From: Jesuslandre: your boring trip through Middle America
Dear Mr. Dowling,
Suck on it.
Posted by chunt31854 on 2008 03 21 at 05:45 PM • permalinkO dear, we forgot to make every inch of our landscape fascinating and full of the most beautiful and edifying views for the jaded tastes of the likes of Mr. Dowling. Forgive us, Great Writer Person!
Or maybe we (or Someone) did make the landscape beautiful and edifying for those with eyes to see true beauty… as opposed to pre-programmed notions of what is supposed to be “gorgeous scenery” and the like.
Full disclosure: I write this having myself called large stretches of the US alongside its expressways “boring,” especially certain sections of South Florida outside the cities, and most of Georgia. What can I say, flat grasslands and farmlands punctuated by occasional billboards aren’t to my personal tastes. Still, the billboards do indicate that a working and prosperous civilization is within comfortable reach, and the grasslands and farmlands mean that the weather can be counted on to be mostly temperate and the food supply abundant.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2008 03 21 at 06:53 PM • permalinkContrast my first impressions of the US Interstates in 1970-72, and I’ve felt the same every time I’ve driven them since.
In total, this road system is the greatest national civil engineering project since the old Roman roads.
I thought the US must have half of all the concrete bridges built in the entire world.Trust Jaundiced Josh to miss the real story…
Beautiful design? Any list that includes Citroen’s Traction Avant [which I once drove], a LandRover and some of the US 1950-60s tanks, but excludes the humble Beetle in an early form, is hopelessly flawed.
Including Porsche’s 356 and another one just doesn’t excuse them for me. It was the SHAPE of the Beetle that millions like me loved.
This is an elitist list.#6 patrick chester: Are you from close enough to know that when Pere Marquette (pronounce it like a true Western Illinois resident if you can) first saw the Piasa Bird it was nearer Elsah than Alton? And there is a school, Southwestern HS, whose team name is the Piasa Birds? Or that after the original had been quarried (truly) off the bluffs, having survived at least a couple hundred of years, modern types were unable to get a painted copy to last, so they have resorted to a copy painted on steel and bolted to the bluffs? It is worth seeing, for sure.
#11 wronwright: If you go to this Pumpkin Festival, you can get pumpkin beer (and even spoiled Sumerian Mead couldn’t taste as bad, trust me).
As for Interstate travel, the worst part is that the bridges deliberately don’t let you see any of the interesting stuff that the bridges cross. I love the old steel-girded bridges with all you can see.
Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2008 03 21 at 07:52 PM • permalinkHey, Douche-bag Dowling!
Too bad you missed Santa Elena Canyon in the Big Bend of West Texas.Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2008 03 21 at 09:15 PM • permalinkThe whole “the USA rwally is shit” meme runs through Fairfax like mercury through a duck, and there’s more than a little jealosy involved methinks. If he reckons the landscape on that trip is dull, for fucks sake never let him loose on the Newell between Melbourne and Brisbane- he wouldn’t get to Shepparton before he lapsed into a coma and had to be prised off the grille of a B-Double with pinchbars; I actually enjoy driving long distances (provided it’s at a respectable clip) but I’d sooned sit through twenty hours of Hey Dad bloopers than drive that horror.
BTW, this twerp isn’t even a one-of-a-kind at Fairfax- Australian motoring writers are the biggest pack of gloomy-Gus global warming worrywarts and Prius praisers this side of Bob Browns bunghole; if you plonked any of them in a Shelby Cobra they’d park one in their pantaloons.
Arrogance isn’t limited to Fairfax auto writers. Check out the Top Gear boys driving their $1000 hoopties across Alabama.
Posted by Some0Seppo on 2008 03 22 at 01:15 PM • permalinkJorgXMcKie wrote:
#6 patrick chester: Are you from close enough to know that when Pere Marquette (pronounce it like a true Western Illinois resident if you can) first saw the Piasa Bird it was nearer Elsah than Alton? And there is a school, Southwestern HS, whose team name is the Piasa Birds? Or that after the original had been quarried (truly) off the bluffs, having survived at least a couple hundred of years, modern types were unable to get a painted copy to last, so they have resorted to a copy painted on steel and bolted to the bluffs? It is worth seeing, for sure.
Yep. Alton. I didn’t recall the name of the explorer, but what you describe does sound like the story I was told when I was a boy. I’ve seen the reproduction and IIRC, it’s a lot smaller than the original. Though it’s been awhile and I think there’s a road in the original spot where the image was painted, though I guess as part of clearing it they could have quarried the rock and used it elsewhere.
Posted by Patrick Chester on 2008 03 22 at 03:20 PM • permalink#45 monaro
They are definitely sharp-looking cars. The styling resemblance of the XA-XB-XC Falcon to the 1971-73 Mustang is remarkable. I wonder how many parts they shared.
By the way, here’s a sad sight.
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2008 03 22 at 07:59 PM • permalink#53 monaro
I have no idea where that derelict ‘71 is, unfortunately, I just found the picture on a Google search.
My heritage, indeed! I bought my first Mustang, a ‘66 coupe, in 1980. It’s now my sister’s car, but I’ve got a ‘68 coupe I’m working on, whenever I have the money to buy parts and/or time to work on it. I’m intending to make it a California Special clone, because I’ve wanted one since I was 8 or 9 years old.
My dad has rebuilt a few and is currently working on a ‘69 Mach 1 - and has a friend in Sydney who’s resurrected a lot more (converting them to RH drive in the process). Since parts for ‘65-’73 Mustangs are scarce as hen’s teeth in Australia, his friend buys stuff over the Internet and has it shipped to my dad’s place, where my dad checks to make sure everthing is what it is supposed to be and re-crates everything (often in a car his friend bought) and ships it on to Australia. The last ones I remember that went out were a couple of ‘65/’66 Mustangs - one is a ‘65 K-Code fastback - and a ‘62 or ‘63 Falcon Sedan Delivery. The guy stays very busy.
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2008 03 23 at 03:05 AM • permalinkTell us in 25 words or less what you’re doing for Earth Hour or what steps you’re taking to reduce your own carbon footprint.
“I create compost out of otherwise useless bored ignorant moronic whiny obtuse preening leftist journalists, using only this simple clue bat. Hold still a second.”
Posted by formerly Huck Foley on 2008 03 24 at 02:33 AM • permalink
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Josh is going to stop driving a V8 Holden Commodore all over the US to mope about how the US sucks.
He’s the standard Fairfax journo, assuming he’s standing by the paper’s Earth Hour. He’s not going to sacrifice his V8; is going to fly to a foreign country; and is going to whine about the US.
He’s earned his paycheck this week.