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DRIVE INSTEAD

Terrible news:

The first person to walk to both the South and North poles told San Diego City College students he also might be the last because of global warming.

All those millions of people preparing for their North/South pole walks will be devastated.

UPDATE. Reader Ralph has some background on our walker:

I used to work for an evil capitalist multi-billion dollar company called Amway. Robert Swan once gave a talk there (apparently because Amway financed one of his polar walks) and everyone got a free copy of his book ‘Icewalk’.

I wonder if he ever gives any credit to Amway?

(The book has sat on my bookshelf - unread - for years.)

Posted by Tim B. on 05/04/2008 at 08:34 AM

  1. What’s wrong with swimming?

    Posted by Nic on 2008 05 04 at 08:44 AM • permalink

  2. #1
    Won’t work. The p. bears will use you as stepping stones.

    Or floaties.

    Too dangerous.

    Posted by kae on 2008 05 04 at 08:53 AM • permalink

  3. #2 Ain’t they all dead?

    Posted by Nic on 2008 05 04 at 09:03 AM • permalink

  4. Hey, I just went and grabbed a magnet, and stood on it.  Both poles at once.

    Hmmm ... march me to the Basement of Shame.

    Posted by Stevo on 2008 05 04 at 09:03 AM • permalink

  5. Thank goodness for the info, I have just cancelled my bid on EBy for snowshoes.

    Posted by surfmaster on 2008 05 04 at 09:19 AM • permalink

  6. These’ll do the trick.

    Posted by cohenite on 2008 05 04 at 09:47 AM • permalink

  7. You can’t fly to either the north or south pole in Microsoft Flight Simulator owing to a tragic choice of latitude and longitude as cartesian coordinates the the 80s.

    Another example of an early ecological mistake coming to bloom only today.  When will mankind learn?

    The closest you can get is sixty miles.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2008 05 04 at 10:09 AM • permalink

  8. Second warning, stackja.

    Posted by Tim B. on 2008 05 04 at 10:29 AM • permalink

  9. Mr. Swan is wrong. 

    Even if the Arctic ice cap completely melts (a big if, but hey, let’s humor the dude), walking at the North Pole sans ice is not a problem with modern technology.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 05 04 at 10:39 AM • permalink

  10. Hmmmmm.

    Didn’t the last pair of people trying to walk to one of the poles have to abort due to *extremely cold weather*?

    Posted by memomachine on 2008 05 04 at 11:05 AM • permalink

  11. #9, TRJS, you mean crawling to the North Pole, don’t you?  Or flopping, or rolling, more likely.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2008 05 04 at 11:12 AM • permalink

  12. re #11, With a little practice, Rebecca, I’m sure that one could walk upright in one of those devices.  It’s all a matter of training and dedication.

    Of course, dodging hungry polar bears looking for a ride is another problem…..

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 05 04 at 11:49 AM • permalink

  13. Reallyd’s Inventive Cruises & Hazardous Adventure Resort Designs would like to first to announce the First Jetski the Pole trip bookings, before those cutrate sleazeballs at PACO Industries get to it.

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2008 05 04 at 12:21 PM • permalink

  14. That’s the last time I farm my press releases out to New Delhi…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2008 05 04 at 12:22 PM • permalink

  15. Yeah, but water skiers are happy.

    Posted by Mystery Meat on 2008 05 04 at 01:00 PM • permalink

  16. Yeah, I’d* put a lot of faith in the forecasts of a bunch of global warming “scientists” who apparently forgot or didn’t know about the Pacific Decadal Oscillation as well as the AMO and their effects upon climate.

    *If I were a moron.

    Posted by SwampWoman on 2008 05 04 at 01:52 PM • permalink

  17. Might be the last person to do it?

    Er, yes.  No one else is stupid enough to want to do it.

    Posted by mr creosote on 2008 05 04 at 04:52 PM • permalink

  18. I’m walking backwards for Christmas,
    Across The Irish Sea”

    Spike Milligan, circa 1960.

    Posted by Barrie on 2008 05 04 at 06:23 PM • permalink

  19. #18
    Hey, did you know you can get that and a lot more from itunes… My favourite is Ying Tong, then I’m Walking Backward.

    Ahhh, The Goons.

    Posted by kae on 2008 05 04 at 06:26 PM • permalink

  20. I was at a meeting the other day when a guy informed me that on September 28 this year there will be the official announcement that the north pole is ice free.

    This guy is a senior government resource scientist.  I await 28 September with interest.

    Posted by entropy on 2008 05 04 at 07:29 PM • permalink

  21. Maybe not so coincidentally, but San Diego CA also has companies offering pole dancing lessons. Ask Throatus Bruisus Maximus about it.

    Posted by mythusmage on 2008 05 04 at 07:59 PM • permalink

  22. Would have thought it easier to walk to the South Pole if the ice melted.

    Posted by Contrail on 2008 05 04 at 08:17 PM • permalink

  23. Well, at least if the ice melted the walk to the South Pole wouldn’t be as friggin’ cold.

    Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2008 05 04 at 11:19 PM • permalink

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