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DON'T EVEN ASK WHAT THEY DO TO APPLES

You learn all sorts of interesting things at Werribee Islamic College:

The teacher could not believe what he overheard. The “visiting” imam was launching into a tirade against the Jews and Americans that bordered on the ludicrous.

But then came the clincher, he recalled. “The imam told the students that the Jews were putting poison in the bananas and they should not eat them."

Poisoned Bananas College receives about $3 million per year from state and federal funds, reports The Age. Aside from instruction in the fruit-tampering ways of those wily Jews, students acquire healthy values:


"When you asked children to write about their favourite hero, they nearly always wrote about Osama bin Laden."

Things have changed in Werribee since I were a lad.

(Via the Bunyip)

Posted by Tim B. on 07/30/2005 at 09:47 PM
  1. Racial and Religious Tolerance Act where are you when I need you?

    Posted by lingus4 on 2005 07 30 at 11:32 PM • permalink

  2. Surprisingly despite these apparent threats, as far as I am aware it is only Jewish toddlers, such as my own, that require armed guards at their kindys.

    Posted by captain on 2005 07 30 at 11:46 PM • permalink

  3. NEWS STORY---Britain bans covering of face.

    Posted by crash on 2005 07 30 at 11:50 PM • permalink

  4. "Attack me with this banana!”

    --John Cleese, old Monty Python sketch

    Posted by JDB on 2005 07 30 at 11:56 PM • permalink

  5. Interesting piece by historian, Paul Johnson on anti-semitism, Arab and otherwise:

    http://www.commentarymagazine.com/article.asp?aid=11906035_1

    “In the meantime, by allowing their diseased obsession to dominate all their aspirations, the Arabs have wasted trillions in oil royalties on weapons of war and propaganda—and, at the margin, on ostentatious luxuries for a tiny minority. In their flight from reason, they have failed to modernize or civilize their societies, to introduce democracy, or to consolidate the rule of law. Despite all their advantages, they are now being overtaken decisively by the Indians and the Chinese, who have few natural resources but are inspired by reason, not hatred.”

    Posted by Inurbanus on 2005 07 31 at 12:07 AM • permalink

  6. o/t Article in Australian (the magazine)on origins of the human race and how we ALL trace back to the earliest human tribes and originally to East Africa.Humans of lighter colouring and hair had moved to colder areas and had to ADAPT to absorb sunlight and synthisize vitamin D.
    Six prominent aussies of various colours,genders,sizes,countries of origin agreed to take a genealogy DNA test to trace their forefathers for men and ancestral mothers for women.
    quote"INDIGENOUS populations have TRADITIONALLY cast a SUSPICIOUS eye towards DNA research,complaining it is YET ANOTHER ATTEMPT BY THE WHITE MAN TO RESHAPE BLACK HISTORY.
    “Some Aborigines are sensitive to DNA testing”,concedes Wells, in a masterpiece of understatement,"THEY TEND TO BE THE ONES OPPOSED TO THE WHOLE IDEA THAT THEY MIGRATED OUT OF AFRICA.
    THEY TAKE THE VIEW THEY’VE ALWAYS LIVED IN AUSTRALIA”.
    the Aussies tested were Jackie Henderson,Pria Viswalingham,David Campese,Dr Cindy Pan and Aden Ridgeway.
    I’m proud to be related to all of them- and the other zillions of the world.
    There is a web address provided so us also rans can be tested for our genealogical group.

    Posted by crash on 2005 07 31 at 12:14 AM • permalink

  7. *facepalms* Does Australia have school accreditation and truancy laws?  They’re not perfect, but they do go a long way toward education meeting certain basic standards (like, say, not including racist crackpot conspiracy theories in the curriculum).

    Posted by Achillea on 2005 07 31 at 12:35 AM • permalink

  8. Al Quaeda strikes back.

    Posted by C.L. on 2005 07 31 at 12:38 AM • permalink

  9. Bananas? Did he just randomly pick them or is there some sinister reason the Jews would want to pick on that particular fruit? Too bad for the kids - bananas are some of the cheapest fruit out there and good for potassium. I hope their parents enjoy paying top dollar for minuscule containers of berries because Guest Imam decided that the banana was part of the Vast Jewish Conspiracy.

    Posted by Sonetka on 2005 07 31 at 01:09 AM • permalink

  10. Unfortunately, Keysar Trad is right: he knows full well that almost no government, and certainly not one as spineless and craven as Bracks, will act against these ‘schools’ because, hey, then you’d also have to shut down all those wacko poison-banana Crusader-madrassas.

    Posted by cuckoo on 2005 07 31 at 01:12 AM • permalink

  11. “When you asked children to write about their favourite hero, they nearly always wrote about Osama bin Laden.”

    That’s strange—it was my understanding that “moderate” Muslims didn’t have much time for bin Laden.

    Posted by Troy Cox on 2005 07 31 at 01:25 AM • permalink

  12. Bananas must be banned, as they are symbolic of the licentiousness and decadence of the West. It’s not so much that you don’t know where they have been, as where they might end up. The sight of a woman eating a banana might give offence to a devout rabid death-cult mega-maniac.

    Posted by blogstrop on 2005 07 31 at 01:29 AM • permalink

  13. Cucumbers too!

    Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2005 07 31 at 02:34 AM • permalink

  14. Liberalism is becoming a mental disorder. We shouldn’t be electing these twits and allowing them to enact crackpot legislation - we should be putting them in straight jackets.

    Posted by scowler on 2005 07 31 at 02:45 AM • permalink

  15. HA! I just got an old copy of the National Lampoon magazine, with an article within it called ‘Other Products Besides Tylenol Capsules To Be Terrified Of.’ Those poisoned bananas would go perfectly, right beside the ‘155mm Nuclear Artillery Shells in Family-sized Tide (washing powder)’ and the ‘Phosgene Gas in Grade A Eggs’ (’which could then fill up your kitchen with gas when you cracked an egg open and immediately destroy your respiratory system’)

    Posted by TimT on 2005 07 31 at 03:02 AM • permalink

  16. Things are changing at the age in the last week by the sound of it.
    Has loving the left made them bananas?

    Posted by crash on 2005 07 31 at 05:36 AM • permalink

  17. I met a lefty teacher at a dinner party a few weeks ago (its hard to avoid them as they are everywhere!) and she was the usual feminist progressive lefty with the full range of correct opinions etc but even she was appalled that at her (northern Melbourne suburban) school there were many girls from Turkey who were married at 16, often to their cousins, whose parents had come to Australia because they were freer here to be fundamentalist Muslims than they were in Turkey!!!
    Talk about a triumph of multiculturalism!!
    Even the lefty feminist teacher was shocked.
    Apart from anything else, as Theodore Dalrymple points out in “When Islam Breaks Down” (http://www.city-journal.org/html/14_2_when_islam.html ) “For fear of giving offense, the press almost never alludes to the extremely high rate of genetic illnesses among the offspring of consanguineous marriages.”
    Also, apparently there is a very high birth rate amongst these migrants.

    Posted by arnienelly on 2005 07 31 at 06:12 AM • permalink

  18. Arnienelly - If a conservative is a liberal who’s been mugged, then I predict your teacher friend, within a year, will be reading right-wing blogs, agitating against gun-control, and subscribing to the all-Nascar channel.  Let’s make her welcome!

    Posted by cuckoo on 2005 07 31 at 06:27 AM • permalink

  19. The a’anab tree of Islamoteaching.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2005 07 31 at 06:30 AM • permalink

  20. Drastically SORRY guys that was Italy which banned covering the face.Mea culpa. Cringe.
    Will never trust someone’s words again.

    Posted by crash on 2005 07 31 at 07:09 AM • permalink

  21. While those innocent, moderate muslims may end up stricken by those evil, bent Jewish bananas, at least they know how to restore their angelic children to full health:

    ON HEALTH

    “The prophet ordered them to follow his camels, and drink their milk and
    urine, so they followed the camels and drank their milk and urine till their
    bodies became healthy.”
    (Vol. 7:590)

    “Mohammed said, ‘If a housefly falls in the drink of anyone of you, he
    should dip it (in the drink), for one of its wings has a disease and the
    other has the cure for the disease.’”
    (Vol. 4:537)

    ON HYGIENE

    “It is reliably reported that Muhammed used to wash his head with
    marsh-mallow after having sexual intercourse.”
    (Hadith No. Mishkat 446)

    “Prophet said: ‘When anyone wipes his anus with pebbles, he should do this
    an odd number of times.’”
    (Hadith No. Muslim 97)

    Posted by Jim Geones on 2005 07 31 at 07:53 AM • permalink

  22. The trouble with liberalism, Scowler, is that it is entrenched in the public/civil services and the education bureaucracy.

    What hope have elected representatives against that bloc?

    Posted by ilibcc on 2005 07 31 at 08:38 AM • permalink

  23. I grew up in the western suburbs, and Werribee was always the place we sent our goldfish to when the carked it.

    There is a sewage treatment plant there. These days, I think they’ve beautified the plant to the extent that they run tours there.

    Maybe there is something to the notion we always had of Werribee being full of shite.

    #22, ilibcc, if we get a Liberal government here next year (fingers crossed), maybe they’ll do a Jeff and slash public servant numbers.

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2005 07 31 at 08:49 AM • permalink

  24. Jim Geones: the marsh mallow thing is possible—after all, it’s a plant, and was used for a variety of medicinal purposes. Of course, considering where Mohammed happened to live he probably more likely used the dwarf mallow plant (scroll down). The website doesn’t say, but maybe it grew in the marshy areas around oases in Arabia as well as on the banks of the Nile.

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2005 07 31 at 09:07 AM • permalink

  25. evil bananas. they are bent. poofter bananas offend the sight of allah.  evil poofter bananas collude with jews to harm the faithful.  we must strap semtex to our bodies & cleanse victoria market.

    Posted by KK on 2005 07 31 at 09:29 AM • permalink

  26. Another link to the herbal uses of marsh mallow: it says here that it was used to soothe inflammation. I wonder if that meant then that Mohammed had dandruff or some other scalp problem, like seborrhea or ringworm? It wouldn’t surprise me; parasites, both inner and outer, were endemic in primitive times. Uh oh—I guess now I’m going to have a fatwa issued against me for insulting the Prophet’s hair!

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2005 07 31 at 11:29 AM • permalink

  27. I think this is a case of another sexually repressed imam looking at a banana and inadvertently having a forbidden fantasy.  Therefore… the fault of the Joos, obviously.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2005 07 31 at 12:03 PM • permalink

  28. The imam was told to ease up on the inflammatory language after staff objected.

    Whoa!  Who sez they’re not tough on terror!

    Posted by Patricia on 2005 07 31 at 12:57 PM • permalink

  29. #21 & 24 Yeah, the plant is OK, I understand that.
    It’s just the rest of the crap quoted that’s a worry.

    I believe that the Imams somewhere, I forget where (might have been Indonesia), preached that the vaccination for polio contained poison which would make the Muslim men’s penises fall of (no great loss), so they weren’t getting vaccinated for Polio. Now apparently there are many cases of polio being detected in Indonesia, brought in by visitors from the Middle East.

    Posted by kae on 2005 07 31 at 09:57 PM • permalink

  30. The imam was told to ease up on the inflammatory language after staff objected.

    And did he actually do so, I wonder?  Or did he call them infidels, threaten to cut their throats, and send them scuffing back to their rollbooks, eyes downcast.

    Posted by Achillea on 2005 07 31 at 10:12 PM • permalink

  31. Kae, it was Nigeria.

    Posted by Achillea on 2005 07 31 at 10:20 PM • permalink

  32. That use of pebbles to clean the anus sounds convincing too!
    I think there was a song about it by Bilal Hilaly - Rock Around The Cloaca.

    Posted by blogstrop on 2005 08 01 at 08:44 AM • permalink

  33. Beware of imams destributing bananas.

    Posted by Jungus on 2005 08 01 at 12:21 PM • permalink

  34. The imam was told to ease up on the inflammatory language after staff objected.

    Thank heavens for that!

    After such a strong backlash from the Moderate Muslim community we keep hearing about, I have absolutely no doubt Osama bin Laden will “ease up” as well.

    I do hope they said it politely…

    Posted by Dan Lewis on 2005 08 02 at 05:20 AM • permalink

  35. The mindset of Muslims would be s-o-o-o hilarious if it were not for its current bent towards violence:

    1.  They seem to be in complete denial about reality at all times.

    2.  They believe the darndest things!

    Posted by JJM Ballantyne on 2005 08 02 at 05:12 PM • permalink

  36. I was treated to an advertisement statement last night by the male star of the new hot series (TM) 24, spruiking something along the lines that most muslims do not support or condone terrorism.

    Free advertising? A disclaimer?

    Pathetic.

    Posted by kae on 2005 08 02 at 06:45 PM • permalink

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