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DEVENY DEVOLVES

Their policies are practically identical, but the government is evil and the opposition is angelic, according to the Age’s Catherine Deveny:

When you find yourself at the ballot box on Saturday, remember, my friends, that this is a rare opportunity to make a difference to the soul of Australia.

Beginning as she means to continue, Catherine offers a platitude that would repel even Kevin Rudd.

Our participation in public life is limited to five minutes every three years ...

Doesn’t get out much, does she?

... and an election like this only comes about once in a lifetime.

Once every three years, actually. There’s a clue right there at the start of the sentence.

In four days you will have an impact on the history and the direction of our country. Your vote will affect people who haven’t even been born yet.

Unless you live in a safe Labor or Coalition seat, which is most of them, as it happens. Vote any way you like; no change. Bad luck, unborn!

You’ll have an opportunity to stand up and say, “We’re better than this.” Braver than this. Smarter than this. And more compassionate than this. And bigger than this.

What is this “this” to which Catherine refers? Is it voting? Are we bigger than voting?

We are not afraid of the future. We are shamed by our recent past. But united by the possibility of the future. And hope.

The possibility of the future? Oh, I think it’s gonna happen, Cathy. Bet on it.

This election is an intelligence test.

For some reason I’m picturing Cathy emerging from a voting booth with a pencil stuck up her nose.

A test to prove we can see past the spin, the dog whistles, the short-sighted rhetoric, the scare campaigns, the pork-barrelling and the fearmongering. A test to show that we are smarter than the Government gives us credit for.

A test to show if we can spot the fake tradesman.

If we do not seize this opportunity for change we will go down in history as the most greedy, gullible, mean-spirited, selfish, short-sighted, tight-fisted generation in the history of Australia.

When it comes to mean-spiritedness, Deveny is a hard act to follow.

How will it feel sitting in front of that $5000 plasma TV watching reruns of American reality shows, wearing clothes manufactured in a sweat shop and sitting on a sofa made by Third World slaves?

We’ve been buying imported televisions, clothes and furniture for decades. How will voting Labor make any difference?

How will that feel when our public education and hospitals have been gutted ...

Ask state Labor governments, to whom these responsibilities fall.

... and our environment corroded to a point of no return?

A few lines previously Deveny was urging us to see past “scare campaigns” and “fearmongering”.

How will it feel knowing we have turned our back on people who need us most: the poor, the broken, the scared, the sick, the elderly and the vulnerable?

After eleven years of Howard, how is it these people are even still alive? Surely more than a decade of vicious neglect must by now have finished them off.

How will it feel when you turn to your children and say, “I believed him”?

More interesting: how will the children feel? Probably a little concerned about mother’s daytime drinking.

On Saturday, you can prove that what is in your heart and on your conscience is more important than what’s in your hip pocket.

Vote for less money! But Kevin Rudd swears he’s an economic conservative who won’t cost us a cent. You calling him a liar, girl?

You’ll be able to say to your grandchildren that you voted for better. You voted for truth. You voted for imagination.

At which point the grandkids run from the room.

You voted for all of us, not just for the white middle-class working families who have never had it so good.

Whoa ... ”white”? Is there a racial component to this election we’ve all missed somehow?

Our family has never been better off because we are one of those white middle-class working families.

So you’re among the majority of Australians. Howard should have used Catherine in campaign ads.

But not all of us are working. We are not all white. We do not all speak English. We are not all heterosexual. And we are not all families. But we all deserve a life of dignity, peace and fairness.

Deveny’s righteousness isn’t at all diminished by the fact she’s white, speaks English, is heterosexual, a mother, and - by some miracle - employed.

I don’t have to imagine how it feels to be an outsider. I know. I know how it feels to be a child and have our home sold from under us.

How does that happen, exactly? Some rogue house-selling gang holds an auction when you aren’t looking, and before you know it your house has been sold and you’ve got to go live somewhere else? Wow.

I know how it feels to live with parents crushed by poverty and paralysed by hopelessness. I know how it feels when you can’t afford to go to camp and instead have to wave the bus goodbye. I know how it feels to know that you are poor.

Hey, happened to me, too. During the Whitlam years. But Catherine really should stop obsessing over her hip pocket; what’s in your heart is more important!

But like many people from the working classes, I also know how it feels to be given a chance. And the thrill of achievement beyond your wildest expectations. To live the better life for which our families courageously fled poverty, war, persecution and famine.

Why, this sounds like nothing more than white middle-class working family triumphalism.

Opportunity is created only through vision, tolerance, acceptance and imagination.

The mark of a completely meaningless sentence: it remains precisely as meaningless no matter how you mix it up. “Tolerance is created only through vision, opportunity, acceptance and imagination”; “Vision is created only through opportunity, tolerance, acceptance and imagination”; “Imagination is created only through vision, tolerance, acceptance and opportunity”. By the way, imagination won’t be supplied by any of Deveny’s hated workers, for, as she’s previously written: “Blue-collar Australia has no imagination.”

Look back at the past 11 years and imagine the next decade as more of the same.

Can we imagine it without any more Deveny columns? Please?

On Saturday you will have a rare opportunity to prove to our past, to our present and to our future that we are better than this.

Take that, past!

And we are not stupid enough to swallow the short way round but the long way home.

Speechless.

At my grade 6 graduation, I stood side by side with Greeks, Yugoslavs, Macedonians, Poles, Italians and Maltese and we sang: “I’m as Greek as a Souvlaki, I’m as Irish as a stew, I’m as Italian as spaghetti, I’m as Danish as a blue, I’m as German as a dumpling, Middle Eastern as a lamb. I’m an Aussie, yes I’m an Aussie, yes I am.”

And we believed it.

Is Catherine suggesting that Greeks, Yugoslavs, Macedonians, Poles, Italians and Maltese have become disenfranchised under Howard? Hard to tell, given these paragraphs seem unrelated to the rest of Catherine’s column.

Over the past 11 years, I have lost faith in the Australian people.

Including the Greeks, Yugoslavs, Macedonians, Poles, Italians and Maltese?

I’ve felt shame at the spin they have swallowed, the politicians they have believed and the values they have embraced. I’m horrified at how politicians have chosen to lead our country using fear over faith ...

She’s a member of the faith-based community!

I just hope I am not alone. There’s plenty for all of us.

The worst political speech of the whole campaign ... and it wasn’t delivered by a politician.

UPDATE. Age letter-writer Edward Butler:

Congratulations to Catherine Deveny for spelling out a reason to cast a vote this election that is not about ourselves and, most importantly, our wallets. I have grown weary of the election being conducted along the lines of how a Liberal or Labor government will make ME better off. Consideration for other people rarely, if ever, warrants a mention.

During times of financial plenty, it is incumbent upon us to show the greatest care towards those who have not benefited, to help raise them up and give them opportunities that we have enjoyed.

Deveny acknowledges that “working families” have “never had it so good”. It’s almost as though they’ve been “raised up” and “given opportunities”.

Posted by Tim B. on 11/21/2007 at 08:46 AM
  1. I’ll have whatever it is she is drinking, and one for my friend too please.

    Posted by surfmaster on 2007 11 21 at 09:12 AM • permalink

  2. Jesus wept, what sort of drugs is this skank on.  Must be a hoot around her place and I bet her kids must be wondering how the hell they can get out of there.  If she wants to slit her wrists, I have a very nice surgical knife here.  I’ll send it to her for free in an overnight next day delivery bag.  Wankeress!

    Posted by Cashew on 2007 11 21 at 09:16 AM • permalink

  3. It’s hard to say if I could ever be persuaded to accept any leftoid programs because I just can’t get past the fact that they are such awful people.

    Posted by oldirishpig on 2007 11 21 at 09:24 AM • permalink

  4. What a wombat.

    The intelligent ones will vote against the Government? Pffft. Amazing how Deveny and the rest of the flock think that a Rudd Government will produce some new, magical land, one where races live in harmony and there are no plasma TV’s. Silly bint.

    Posted by Nic on 2007 11 21 at 09:25 AM • permalink

  5. And here I was thinking she just couldn’t get any worse.

    Posted by SandiM on 2007 11 21 at 09:27 AM • permalink

  6. At my grade 6 graduation,

    Deveny went to Primary school? Who knew? It would seem that second class was the best 4 years of her life.

    Posted by Nic on 2007 11 21 at 09:29 AM • permalink

  7. #5 She’s definitely beaten her personal worst Sandi.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 21 at 09:31 AM • permalink

  8. “I’m as Italian as spaghetti”

    D’you reckon she’s any of the spiral loop pastas?

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 21 at 09:33 AM • permalink

  9. Damn, I’m going to go to sleep with that song going through my head.

    I remember it.

    As for Mz Deveney, what a load of whiny, pretentious twaddle.

    People actually pay her to write??

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 11 21 at 09:37 AM • permalink

  10. #8 Ash,
    given that Spag was first created by the Chinese, Deveny’s claim pretty much sums things up.

    The racist!

    Posted by Nic on 2007 11 21 at 09:38 AM • permalink

  11. Definitely not past al dente.

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 21 at 09:39 AM • permalink

  12. Re: the fake tradesman…

    Listed on his MySpace page are his general interests: “Anything pretty much. Except incest and line dancing. I’m a singer/entertainer and have been most of my life. Work all over the place. Don’t really know what to say right about now. Kinda weird.”

    What kind of person feels the need to write that incest isn’t one of their interests? I’m pretty sure that incest doesn’t appeal to almost everyone, so why mention it?

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 21 at 09:39 AM • permalink

  13. Is there a greater example than this piece of the parallel universe that the Left has come to inhabit in the 21st century? Is so then I’m yet to see it.

    Posted by Jack Lacton on 2007 11 21 at 09:39 AM • permalink

  14. #10 He he he. Nic, that’s a very good point.

    A small observation: I lived in Italy until I was 11, but the first time I ate spaghetti and meatballs I was in Melbourne, yet friends who have never been to Italy claim it’s the national dish.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 21 at 09:41 AM • permalink

  15. How will it feel…

    How will it feel…

    I don’t have to imagine how it feels…

    I know how it feels…

    Good Lord! I was in envy of your short campaign season, but this kind of stuff would make it feel as long as our presidential campaign.

    I wonder if That Woman ever thinks.

    Posted by Retread on 2007 11 21 at 09:42 AM • permalink

  16. Wow.  I’m feeling positively suffocated by all the billowing clouds of purple prose.  Deveny’s a one-woman vapor machine.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 11 21 at 09:47 AM • permalink

  17. How will it feel sitting in front of that $5000 plasma TV watching reruns of American reality shows

    I was wondering if she would drag us into this…

    Posted by Dave S. on 2007 11 21 at 09:48 AM • permalink

  18. You voted for truth. You voted for imagination.

    Make up your mind, girl.

    Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 11 21 at 09:51 AM • permalink

  19. It’s not far off the gibberish that Kevni was allowed to spruik twice on “our” ABC, first at the National Press Club speech then on the 7.30 Report with Red Kezza- there’s an air of desperation in Kevvieville if you ask me, the word from WA and our wonderful hillbilly-infested enclave of (include the interuption- a fucking sugarloaf cockroack just ran across me, occaisionig it’s death) Queensland isn’t Kevvie Country.

    Posted by Habib on 2007 11 21 at 10:00 AM • permalink

  20. “Doesn’t get out much, does she?”

    Comes with the territory when you’re too bloated to fit through the doorway.

    I gather from her hysterical (but none too coherent) ranting she has some sort of problem with the Howard government, but I’m pretty sure “we’re being starved to death by the Liberals!” isn’t part of the problem.

    Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 11 21 at 10:00 AM • permalink

  21. I nearly soiled my trousers during an item on the ABC at lunchtime- they had a feature on small business, and how they were effected/wanted a new government to sort things- of the three put up as small business, one was Gleebe Boooks, the best source of Marxist bollocks this side of old lefties leaving copies of the Little Red Schoolbook between your bike spokes, and some pillock from a dance company, who insisted dance would be popular if it had enough public money.
    Lets face it, pillocks poncing about like they’ve got flesh-eating ants in their undies goes over like gangbusters if you’re required to attend by AK47.

    Posted by Habib on 2007 11 21 at 10:27 AM • permalink

  22. I find it hard to believe this imbecile graduated from grade 6.  Anyone care to fisk this unlikely claim?

    Posted by bondo on 2007 11 21 at 10:32 AM • permalink

  23. Sorry about this completely off-topic, but I am so excited about the big news. It appears that the animal rights org PETA has a 90% KILL RATE! But that is only the big news. The really big news is that we, Canada, get an EAR, while you Aussies get squat!!! Even though Ingrid Newkirk, founder of PETA, appears to be the evil, separated at birth, TWIN of Greg Norman. Yeah Canada!!!

    Posted by bobzorunkle on 2007 11 21 at 10:36 AM • permalink

  24. Catherine, you stupid person, you’re a disgrace to the Fabian Society. You’ve given the agenda away. Put a plastic bag over your face, woman, and leave politics to the men.

    Posted by mareeS on 2007 11 21 at 10:45 AM • permalink

  25. I am of the opinion that La Deveney may have been slurping on the fabled Fruity Lexia ($13.99 for 4 litres at Liquorland) before she pounded out that drivel.

    Reads like something a 14 year old would write. Just needs a few unicorns, rainbows and coloured balloons.

    Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2007 11 21 at 10:56 AM • permalink

  26. “And we are not stupid enough to swallow the short way round but the long way home”

    There are plenty of DVDs available via mail-order from the ACT with numerous examples of people who will do either. The soundtrack usually suck, though.

    Posted by Villeurbanne on 2007 11 21 at 10:59 AM • permalink

  27. #17, Dave S.

    Catherine has a problem, and it’s Nov 24. 6pm.

    Posted by mareeS on 2007 11 21 at 10:59 AM • permalink

  28. It must itch their britches that mouth-breathers all over Oz are allowed to vote, and it means as much as the enlightened ones imprimatur. Dev is either going to have to rinse or douche after that diatribe, probably both.

    Posted by CB on 2007 11 21 at 11:14 AM • permalink

  29. Damn

    Just.Damn

    Posted by Daddy Binx on 2007 11 21 at 11:31 AM • permalink

  30. “During times of financial plenty, it is incumbent upon us to show the greatest care towards those who have not benefited, to help raise them up and give them opportunities that we have enjoyed.”

    So, who’s stopping you?

    Try doing it yourself instaed of waiting for some government to do it for you.

    Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 11 21 at 11:35 AM • permalink

  31. I’ll start believing them when they ALL voluntarily kick in more than the minimum tax rates towards charities from post tax income and not claim it at tax time. Til then, shut your pie hole, the ALP will start gouging us all soon enough.

    Posted by CB on 2007 11 21 at 11:40 AM • permalink

  32. This Catherine Deveny person is terribly self-absorbed, isn’t she? It’s all about her feelings… Gawd I hate emo-journalism. It’s the thing that makes me crumple up the paper and pitch it across the room. Yeah, it does sound as if it were written by a 14-year-old.

    That was some hilarious dismembering, Tim.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 11 21 at 11:41 AM • permalink

  33. One of the Age’s letter-writers, who I won’t say outright is a nutter, said.-

    During times of financial plenty it is incumbent upon us to show the greatest care towards those who have not benefited, to raise them up and give them opportunities that we have not enjoyed.”

    Speak for yourself, mate.

    We’ve done that for ourselves and our kids without the benefit of your money.

    How about you do it for yourself without the benefit of ours?

    My perfect version of the tax system, eh?

    Posted by mareeS on 2007 11 21 at 11:43 AM • permalink

  34. worst column ever- though I bet she could top it if the nation loses its collective mind on saturday and Krudd wins.

    a happier alternative would be a coalition victory, then she can top herself.

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 11 21 at 11:55 AM • permalink

  35. #4
    Geez Nic, what do you have against Wombats?

    That comes close to animal cruelty.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 11 21 at 12:16 PM • permalink

  36. Actually, the seppo brigades can help here.

    We will know the outcome early Saturday morning here.  No need to leave that $5000 plasma or worry about that pavlova in the oven while you are at the polls.  We’ll post the results and save you the trouble..:)

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 11 21 at 12:21 PM • permalink

  37. I’ve felt shame at the spin they have swallowed

    Verbal head-tilt.

    Posted by m on 2007 11 21 at 12:38 PM • permalink

  38. I am willing to grant that not all lefties are stupid.  I’m even more willing to accept that not all stupid people are lefties.

    But combine leftiness and stupidity and you have something breathtaking.  Because you’re too busy gagging.

    Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2007 11 21 at 12:43 PM • permalink

  39. You’ll have an opportunity to stand up and say, “We’re better than this.” Braver than this. Smarter than this. And more compassionate than this. And bigger than this.

    And niftier than this. And kewler than this. And doughtier than this. And nicer than this. And funnier than this.

    Ooh, ooh, I hope all her comrades take that opportunity to talk and talk and talk in mewling comparatives and forget to mark the ballot.

    Posted by m on 2007 11 21 at 12:43 PM • permalink

  40. Catherine Deveny -

    “And we are not stupid enough to swallow the short way round but the long way home.”

    “I’ve felt shame at the spin they have swallowed, the politicians they have believed and the values they have embraced.”

    Evidently something traumatic has happened to the poor woman, something in the past, that involved distasteful swallowing of some sort.  Maybe it was castor oil.

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 11 21 at 01:03 PM • permalink

  41. “Evidently something traumatic has happened to the poor woman, something in the past, that involved distasteful swallowing of some sort.”

    She’s definitely an accomplished swallower.

    No doubt about that.

    Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 11 21 at 01:42 PM • permalink

  42. Now that you mention it, wronwright, she does seem to have some sort of phobia about swallowing…

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 11 21 at 01:44 PM • permalink

  43. This election is an intelligence test.

    Ah! Ms. Devany. We’ve completed the analysis of your vote and are now in a position to suggest a suitable career path for you based on your I.Q. Any of the following professions seems to be well within the scope of your abilities:

    1) Assistant charwoman
    2) Nitroglycerine delivery truck driver
    3) Shark-repellant tester
    4) Democratic member, U.S. House of Representatives (U.S naturalization may be required).

    Please make your check for $500 out to Professional Assessment of Career Opportunities, LLC.

    Posted by paco on 2007 11 21 at 01:53 PM • permalink

  44. I stood side by side with Greeks, Yugoslavs, Macedonians, Poles, Italians and Maltese…

    She’s left out the Lebanese, the racialist wankette!
    I’ll bet they out-number Maltese—at least in the criminal courts.

    Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2007 11 21 at 01:59 PM • permalink

  45. All pensions, allowances and other Centrelink payments were indexed under the Howard Govt. Not bad, for an evil, poor-hating regime.

    The Hawke/Keating Govt. never had the guts to automatically raise Social Security payments.

    How will it feel when you turn to your children and say, “I believed him”?

    My kids will never hear that. Although we’re a Liberal voting family, I’ll call “Bullshit!”, when I hear Howard, Costello, or whomever spouting it. These days, however, I tend to be calling “Bullshit!” whenever Rudd et al. open their mouths.

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 11 21 at 02:08 PM • permalink

  46. Say - was that a duck-billed platitude?...

    Posted by mojo on 2007 11 21 at 02:09 PM • permalink

  47. How will it feel sitting in front of that $5000 plasma TV watching reruns of American reality shows, wearing clothes manufactured in a sweat shop and sitting on a sofa made by Third World slaves?

    We’ve been buying imported televisions, clothes and furniture for decades. How will voting Labor make any difference?

    I missed Kevin’s promise that the poor won’t be able to buy cheap clothing and furniture anymore, and the rich won’t be able to afford $5000 TVs anymore; can someone provide a link?

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 11 21 at 02:12 PM • permalink

  48. Catherine should move to North Korea, thereby raising the average IQ in both countries.

    Posted by SSG Pooh on 2007 11 21 at 02:23 PM • permalink

  49. I’m probably going to fail Catherine’s intelligence test. She doesn’t actually say who we should all vote for - perhaps she’s arguing for an increased Coalition majority!

    Posted by AlphaMikeFoxtrot on 2007 11 21 at 02:27 PM • permalink

  50. I think Catherine pretty much misses the point. Sort of like this person.

    Posted by paco on 2007 11 21 at 02:30 PM • permalink

  51. The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and his best friend Corky.

    It’s just 12 months since I was last in OZ.

    How could things have gone so bad so quickly?

    Posted by Jack from Montreal on 2007 11 21 at 02:34 PM • permalink

  52. Don’t despair - I’ll be back soon to flood some more of QLD.

    Posted by Jack from Montreal on 2007 11 21 at 02:37 PM • permalink

  53. #52 QLD desperately needs you to do it too Jack.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 21 at 02:46 PM • permalink

  54. Deveny? She’s overcooked. Past al dente.


    #52 How quickly can a dam be built?

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 21 at 03:34 PM • permalink

  55. But not all of us are working. We are not all white. We do not all speak English. We are not all heterosexual. And we are not all families. But we all deserve a life of dignity, peace and fairness.

    Zis is trew. Dats vuy uh huv foonded uh niew partii: Land Rights For Coloured Gay Whales. Equality for all. Now where did I put that damn joint….

    Posted by Fast Eddie on 2007 11 21 at 03:36 PM • permalink

  56. What is this, International Fisking Day, or something?  I’ve never felt the urge to post a Fisking before, but today I read an article on music in the NYT (OK, so it’s my fault, actually) so irretrievably worthless that I couldn’t resist.

    Not near to Tim’s polished level of expertise, of course.

    Liberals are blind to their own contradictions due to the medications they are on to treat their cognitive dissonance, I’ve concluded.

    Posted by Hucbald on 2007 11 21 at 03:37 PM • permalink

  57. Superb fisk, Tim.

    I wish I could find this tit, tape her mouth shut, and force her to read it. And then leave the tape on her mouth, and maybe do something to her hands so she couldn’t type any more columns. Or remove the tape.

    Posted by Mambo Bananapatch on 2007 11 21 at 03:47 PM • permalink

  58. I wish I could vote for Howard twice….

    Posted by Quentin George on 2007 11 21 at 03:55 PM • permalink

  59. #58: I think Wronwrights’ going to be in the neighborhood with the Tardis; voting twice should be a snap.

    Posted by paco on 2007 11 21 at 04:02 PM • permalink

  60. #58 You and I both.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 21 at 04:04 PM • permalink

  61. I won’t be waiting for Saturday to vote Liberal, I voted yesterday and beat the rush.

    Posted by surfmaster on 2007 11 21 at 04:20 PM • permalink

  62. Meanwhile, guess who the first winners under a Rudd government will be?

    http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,22801440-601,00.html

    Posted by Young and Free on 2007 11 21 at 04:27 PM • permalink

  63. Surfmaster, were I in your shoes (or voting booth), I would be afraid that the vote counters might examine my ballot and discard it if I hadn’t voted “correctly” (i.e. Left).  Besides all that “hanging chad” nonsense in the 2000 election, we’ve had several scandals here in the U.S. involving bags of absentee ballots discovered, uncounted, after elections, having been “vetted” that way by poll workers.  I sincerely hope that your elections are better run than ours! :-P

    Posted by Mary in LA on 2007 11 21 at 04:50 PM • permalink

  64. Catherine really pushes the edge of leftist lunacy into new regions. Margo must be fuming.

    Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 11 21 at 04:53 PM • permalink

  65. So how did the article go after this bit “Look back at the past 11 years and imagine the next decade as more of the same.”, I couldn’t read any further as I got all misty eyed and was too busy applauding.

    Posted by Harry Buttle on 2007 11 21 at 04:53 PM • permalink

  66. #57,

    Every time I see your name Mambo,  this song starts banging my in my head.

    I’m hoping to return the favour ;-)

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 11 21 at 05:11 PM • permalink

  67. She’s been drinking bong water again.  She should stick to kool-aid.

    Posted by Mystery Meat on 2007 11 21 at 05:17 PM • permalink

  68. Mon Dieu. Aside from the awful writing, what is the point of keeping someone like Deveney on a payroll if all you’re going to get is partisan gushing, rubbish that even an ALP staffer would be too embarassed to put out.

    Even the left’s prime media hate figures Albrechtsen, Bolt, Akerman, Pearson etc at least try to do some analysis and make some useful points on the political scene.

    Posted by Francis H on 2007 11 21 at 05:25 PM • permalink

  69. If Labor wins, we will have to scrutinise the media’s efforts to “keep the bastards honest”. I am not optimistic.
    Rudd has gone for a sort of “consensus” feeling in the last day or so. Hawke did that well, but it started to fade with the Economic Summit, where he dumped Keating’s version of the GST, much to Keating’s (and one must assume Treasury’s) disgust.
    By the late 80’s and on into the early 90s we were made to feel strange that we didn’t really like the governance or the cultural credos being followed. The aboriginal rights agenda was in full flight. Positive Discrimination in the workplace for indigenes, Affirmative Action, Quotas for Women in the ALP! Multiculturalism. Secret Treaties with Soeharto. Budgets “balanced” by economic rabbits from the hat, such as sale of Qantas. There was no support from the media for a change. There were whispers that “people really don’t like Keating”. Deveny loves him - the “old flame”. Then the silenced voters spoke in 1996.
    Howard got little if any assistance from concerned journos (competent or incompetent) back then. In this election period, in fact for years now, the media have been so demonstrably partisan (for the most part) that a change of government will be achieved with their connivance.( Even some of the more conservative hue have weakened. Taking out some insurance?)
    And the change, if it happens, will be for reasons no better than those expressed by Deveny. Except for the underlying urgency to preserve the ALP/Union power axis. Rudd has been asked thrice and denied thrice that the ALP is a party of the left. With Gillard as his deputy, and a front bench full of ex-union heavies. It is theatre of the absurd, and the lack of proper examination of the realpolitik is an indictment of our commentators.

    Posted by blogstrop on 2007 11 21 at 05:27 PM • permalink

  70. #66, gak!  Thanks a heap, Pogria!  I’ll be hearing that all night now.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 11 21 at 05:28 PM • permalink

  71. Lovely bit of irony there by Deveny. This bit especially:

    “At my grade 6 graduation, I stood side by side with Greeks, Yugoslavs, Macedonians, Poles, Italians and Maltese and we sang: “I’m as Greek as a Souvlaki, I’m as Irish as a stew, I’m as Italian as spaghetti, I’m as Danish as a blue, I’m as German as a dumpling, Middle Eastern as a lamb. I’m an Aussie, yes I’m an Aussie, yes I am.”

    No doubt she would be aware that the song was banned as racist and the ad it featured on ripped off air by the politically correct left wing loonies who, come Saturday, will be back in the box seat telling us what’s best for us.

    Oh they joy.

    Posted by BB77 on 2007 11 21 at 05:31 PM • permalink

  72. Or it might just be Al Gore wearing a tropical suit, sipping a piña colada out by the pool.

    As to the zany Ms. Deveny, I agree with Francis H and others who have pointed out that the execrable quality of her writing trumps everything, even her politics.

    Posted by paco on 2007 11 21 at 05:32 PM • permalink

  73. “... comedy is hard.”

    Cheers

    Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2007 11 21 at 05:39 PM • permalink

  74. Quick, somebody, send the woman a case of Prozac. Or perhaps a cyanide pill. Whatever. Something, anything, to put us out of her misery. Good night nurse. Hey, Catherine, if you make through the election without your head exploding (and I sincerely hope you don’t), do yourself (and the rest of us) a favor by signing up here.

    That this screed could have been written (and probably will be) by any number of our lefty journos is somehow comforting.

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 11 21 at 05:43 PM • permalink

  75. Tim’s commentary made me laugh and laugh. Poor old C-Dev. She’s so mixed up.

    Posted by Apple77 on 2007 11 21 at 05:48 PM • permalink

  76. #66 For me it’s Mambo No. 5.

    Forgot the guy’s name, but the song brings back memories of Indonesia in 1999/2000.

    Posted by Jack from Montreal on 2007 11 21 at 05:53 PM • permalink

  77. #76 Lou Bega.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 21 at 05:55 PM • permalink

  78. ahaha pencil up her nose, you’ve got to love the visual.

    Posted by Admonkeystrator on 2007 11 21 at 05:56 PM • permalink

  79. #70 Rebecca,

    I actually quite like the song. Just takes a while for it to get out of my head.

    Here’s a

    better looking version of the song. For the boys, of course. :)

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 11 21 at 05:58 PM • permalink

  80. #76 Jack,

    I LOVE Mambo No 5!

    Mambo Italiano has a better flow and sticks in my head longer!

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 11 21 at 06:02 PM • permalink

  81. #69 Blogstrop

    No finer example of your point than Kerry O’Brienand his efforts over the last two nights.

    Interview with Howard on Tues night was the standard studio “me and you in the cage” full bore interview, with copious notes and prepared questions on O’Brien’s desk.

    Compare and contrast Red Kezza’s “fireside chat” with Rudd. Nice soft non studio, aboriginal dot painting in background and at one point, Kevvie chuckles and leans over as if to pat the Red Terror on the knee.

    I am not wise in such matters as journalisitc effics and stuff, but I do know a lot about embarrassment.

    Kerry O’Brien is no longer annoying, sychophantic or skewed.

    He’s embarrassing, just plain embarrassing.

    Posted by Pickles on 2007 11 21 at 06:11 PM • permalink

  82. #12 Ash:

    What kind of person feels the need to write that incest isn’t one of their interests?

    The kind of person who thinks that all other forms of sexual deviancy are OK.

    Posted by Skeeter on 2007 11 21 at 06:11 PM • permalink

  83. #82 That’s what I was afraid of Skeeter.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 21 at 06:14 PM • permalink

  84. And it was left to The Chaser to try and knock a bit of bark of him, which I submit, they did a fine job of last night.

    Posted by Pickles on 2007 11 21 at 06:16 PM • permalink

  85. Too the majority of us it won’t make any difference whether Labor or Liberal get in. But if the Liberals get up we will have the wonderful delight of watching the lefties implode or explode over the days and months post-election. Once again ordinary Australians will be called dumb, stupid, self-centred, racist, homophobic, &c., by disappointed, near-suicidal latte sippers in Carlton and Fitzroy (and interstate equivalents).

    Posted by walterplinge on 2007 11 21 at 06:22 PM • permalink

  86. #77 #80

    thanx Pog,I’ve saved that

    Posted by Jack from Montreal on 2007 11 21 at 06:32 PM • permalink

  87. #86,

    You are most welcome Jack!

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 11 21 at 06:33 PM • permalink

  88. Your vote will affect people who haven’t even been born yet.

    Yeah, I’ve been waiting to hear Kevin07’s position on abortion.

    Posted by anthony_r on 2007 11 21 at 06:33 PM • permalink

  89. #85 walter

    I look forward to a repeat of three small fortunes that befell me last election night.

    Kerry O’Brien at some stage whining “this can’t be happening”;
    the election party next door breaking up prematurely;
    the deep clunking noise that undrunk bottles of beer make as the party guests sneak away quitely, dejected, shattered and contemplating life with the same outlook as All Black supporters.

    Posted by Pickles on 2007 11 21 at 06:45 PM • permalink

  90. #89 Pickles,

    I’ve been saving some fireworks for Saturday night.
    Looking forward to letting them off!!!

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 11 21 at 06:51 PM • permalink

  91. #90 Poggers

    Is always darkest before the dawn, my dear.
    I don’t think we’ll know the result for quite a while though.

    Posted by Pickles on 2007 11 21 at 06:54 PM • permalink

  92. #91 Pickles,
    My insomnia will take care of that!

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 11 21 at 06:59 PM • permalink

  93. If the Libs win, the Age’s Opinion Pages will be a great read.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 21 at 07:05 PM • permalink

  94. #93 Ash
    When they win by 4, the drivel oozing out of Fairfax, the ABC and fellow travellers will provide another three years of joy just like they have for the last 11.

    Posted by Pickles on 2007 11 21 at 07:12 PM • permalink

  95. Something similar to Deveny’s world view is being taught at public schools all over Australia by PC teachers. Graham Richardson’s memoirs revealed that the teachers were always his first port of call when working in unfamiliar electorates. All the promised computers and handouts cannot change that aspect of our public education system - the culture wars are far from won.

    Posted by blogstrop on 2007 11 21 at 07:15 PM • permalink

  96. Maybe Deveny and Alan Ramsey can compare notes next Monday after Howard scrapes home.

    Demented dessicated old coconut Alan Ramsey had this to say two days after Howard’s comprehensive win in 2004.
    ————————————————
    How on earth could we have put this scheming, mendacious little man and his miserable claque back in office for another three years? Worse, how could we have brought them to the very brink of absolute control of the nation’s entire parliamentary process and authority?

    Very easily, as things turned out, to the cost of the rest of us and our national self-respect.
    Still, Latham’s time will come. Believe it.
    ————————————————-
    Fantacising isn’t just the preserve of young members of the Melbourne Stasi - even grizzled head cases like old Al still enjoy it!

    Posted by Bonmot on 2007 11 21 at 07:15 PM • permalink

  97. #94 Damn straight Pickles. Hours of hilarity will ensue.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 21 at 07:18 PM • permalink

  98. Shakespeare must have known an earlier version of Catherine Deveny but he also knew what to write of her almost constant drivel:

    A tale
    Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
    Signifying nothing.

    Macbeth, 5. 5

    and

    ‘Tis such fools as you
    That makes the world full of ill-favor’d children.

    As You Like It, 3. 5

    and

    Foul and ugly mists of vapours.
    Henry IV Part 1, 1. 2

    and

    Go thou and fill another room in hell.
    Richard II, 5. 5

    and

    How now, you secret, black, and midnight hag(s)!
    Macbeth, 4. 1

    In the end, even he tired of her:

    Hang [her] with [her] pen and [her] ink-horn about [her] neck.
    Henry VI Part 2, 4. 2

    Posted by ann j on 2007 11 21 at 07:22 PM • permalink

  99. THe one thing that has declined under Howard is the mental health of the left. Catherine can be seen later today taking the the train home, rolling her poo into tiny balls and stcking them in her ears.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 21 at 07:26 PM • permalink

  100. Ash
    Years of hilarity. Why here we are, 2 days before the tally up and this demented bush pig Deveney is happily bowling slow, short pitched rubbish down the leg side, which we and those of our ilk gratefully (but not always gracefully) lift over the square leg fence to the delight of the kiddies in the front rows.

    Really, where would we be without them?

    Posted by Pickles on 2007 11 21 at 07:28 PM • permalink

  101. #99 IT
    I’m pretty sure it wasn’t crash hot to start off with.

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 21 at 07:33 PM • permalink

  102. 69 - excellent points made, blogstrop.

    Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 11 21 at 07:38 PM • permalink

  103. Pickles, true. It’ll be hilarious no matter who wins, really. All those who have been saying that the electorate is stupid will come out with all the “they’ve finally seen the light” shit, and we’ll get to laugh ourselves stupid when they realise Kevni isn’t their saviour.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 21 at 07:44 PM • permalink

  104. Has the Age always allowed dumb schoolkids onto the opinion page?

    Posted by Tony.T.Teacher on 2007 11 21 at 07:45 PM • permalink

  105. Jesus H. Christ! Tim, how did you get through all that babble without barfing?
    What a sanctimonious, smug, self-righteous cretin this woman is!
    I’ll just bet she sung that song at her grade 6 graduation! If she did, the line including people from the Middle-East was only tacked on recently, probably only since, say, September 2001, because only then were these people noticed by the shallow set. Funny, no mention of Indigenous Australians in that PC little song of hers. Oh, I forgot, Middle-Eastern is the new black!

    People like Deveny are perpetually outraged. It’s their stock-in-trade. It won’t be long before Kevin has her and her ilk in the throws of some moral outcry. Just wait and see.

    Posted by Brian on 2007 11 21 at 07:47 PM • permalink

  106. “I don’t have to imagine how it feels to be an outsider. I know. I know how it feels to be a child and have our home sold from under us.”

    In my families case it was Keatings efforts in the recession we had to have.


    “How will it feel knowing we have turned our back on people who need us most: the poor, the broken, the scared, the sick, the elderly and the vulnerable?”

    As a case in point it might be brought up that the fairly effective system of asylums for the mentally ill was removed by successive STATE governments.
    This has been replaced by “care in the community” a popular lefty mantra which basically means left on your own till you top yourself, go to jail, or die of some 3rd wold disease under a bridge somewhere.
    Can someone please explain the difference between STATE and FEDERAL responsibilities to Cath??

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 11 21 at 07:55 PM • permalink

  107. I think Catherine has aspirations to be a great orator based on some very misconstrued compliments.

    Posted by Dminor on 2007 11 21 at 07:56 PM • permalink

  108. Frollicking: Can someone please explain the difference between STATE and FEDERAL responsibilities to Cath the entire Left??

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 21 at 08:00 PM • permalink

  109. Deveny always writes about non-Anglo-Saxons in such a condescending way. The silly bitch can’t see that treating minorities as cute little fashion accessories is just as awful as screaming racial abuse at them.

    Treat minorities as you treat everyone else, Catherine. Maybe then these Greeks, Yugoslavs, Macedonians, Poles, Italians and Maltese you meet won’t think of you as a racist, just the appalling snob that you are.

    Posted by Contrail on 2007 11 21 at 08:00 PM • permalink

  110. #108
    Better start with Kevvie.
    He’s most definitely confuzed about who’s responsible for what.

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 21 at 08:04 PM • permalink

  111. I understand that recently, Catherine and a friend came out from shopping to discover that they were locked out of the car. The friend said, “You wait here while I get help,” and Catherine said, “Well, OK, but you’d better hurry because the top’s down and it’s starting to rain.”

    Posted by CraigC on 2007 11 21 at 08:09 PM • permalink

  112. #99 IT

    Catherine can be seen later today taking the the train home, rolling her poo into tiny balls and stcking them in her ears.

    That’ll provide hours of enjoyment for Rudd.

    Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 11 21 at 08:13 PM • permalink

  113. At comment #113, the chances of my wit and wisdom being read is remote but here goes:

    This election is an intelligence test.

    Why is it that lefties think themselves intellectually superior?

    All evidence points to the mediocrity of group-think.

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 11 21 at 08:19 PM • permalink

  114. #110 Confused? He hasn’t got a clue!

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 21 at 08:32 PM • permalink

  115. #85, “Too the majority of us it won’t make any difference whether Labor or Liberal get in”. 
    Your’re right, but I’m very confident that WA wont carry for Labor, and placed $300 on at Centrebet for the Coalition at $4.10 to this effect.  More than the possible payout, it is the election night coverage on the ABC if Howard gets up that has me counting sleeps till Saturday like a kid waiting for Christmas.

    Posted by Mr Simmon on 2007 11 21 at 08:43 PM • permalink

  116. Tim, that ‘pencil up the nose’ comment was pure blogging gold! I’m still chuckling at the visual.

    Posted by Skip on 2007 11 21 at 08:44 PM • permalink

  117. #115, “Too the majority of us”

    would also sound better if she’d spelt it “to”.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 11 21 at 08:50 PM • permalink

  118. At my grade 6 graduation, I stood side by side with Greeks, Yugoslavs, Macedonians, Poles, Italians and Maltese and we sang

    No wonder she’s a racist: she’s spent her entire life surrounded by other Euro-Australians.

    Posted by blandwagon on 2007 11 21 at 09:02 PM • permalink

  119. Ummm, Catherine, whilst I’m sure your angst laden maunderings garnered more than a few brave smiles and soulful hugs around the office, that whole emo thing is more than a little despised by the 18 to 35 demographic Labor is supposedly targeting.

    Posted by lotocoti on 2007 11 21 at 09:20 PM • permalink

  120. #80, Pogria - Where did you get that video of Paco?

    Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2007 11 21 at 09:57 PM • permalink

  121. #115 - That sounds a great bet!  Had a look at Centrebet and put $100 on JH winning his seat ($1.60) but couldn’t find an option of betting on a State as a whole.  Where do you find it?  Cheers.

    Posted by Ubique on 2007 11 21 at 10:53 PM • permalink

  122. At my grade 6 graduation, I stood side by side with Greeks, Yugoslavs, Macedonians, Poles, Italians and Maltese

    A good sub-editor would have changed that to wogs or reffo’s to save space.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 21 at 11:03 PM • permalink

  123. #121 Ubique- On the home page click the large “Elections” box, it will bring up a page with a line for Labor and the Coalition, currently at $1.22 and $4.35 respectively.  Ring them up, open an account over the phone and bpay it, it will take 24 hours. Come Saturday night I may end up very pissed off as compared to just pissed off but I reckon it’s worth a punt at those odds.

    Posted by Mr Simmon on 2007 11 21 at 11:55 PM • permalink

  124. #26, you remind me here of an interesting thing. Most business/marketing programs/videos I have seen invariably sound as if they have lifted their soundtracks from the dorkiest of porn movies.
    Anyone care to venture a guess as to why this would be? Are they all trying to save the pennies on music?

    Posted by carpefraise on 2007 11 22 at 12:15 AM • permalink

  125. #40, she probably had to eat her words at some point in her life and has yet to recover.

    Posted by carpefraise on 2007 11 22 at 12:18 AM • permalink

  126. Going by her name, is she Hungarian as a goulash?

    Posted by Honkie Hammer on 2007 11 22 at 12:36 AM • permalink

  127. Nicely fisked. To read it unadultered in its entirety would be to drown in sanctimonious slough of dripping despond; that is something I wouldn’t want to do more than once in a day, and my fill came earlier from the voluntarily sterilized Gaia groupies:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=495495&in_page_id=1879

    Curses be on those selfish enough to preserve their genetic line at the expense of the planet.

    BTW, interesting about the odds. I might have a bit of a punt.

    Posted by Simon Darkshade on 2007 11 22 at 02:31 AM • permalink

  128. I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out what American reality show re-runs Australians are allegedly glued to according to Deveny.
    Anyway, I thought it was Aussie backyard make-over programs we were all supposedly transfixed by!

    Posted by Brian on 2007 11 22 at 03:18 AM • permalink

  129. The last time mum owned a house was during Keating’s recession we had to have.  She had to sell it as the mortgage crippled her, and has never come close to owning again.  I remember it all too well Ms Deveney, and as one from an immigrant family, I assure you, we all know who not to vote for.

    Take your only lefties have a heart bullshit and fuck off back to your latte art bitch circle you sanctimonious arrogant smug tool.

    Posted by peter m on 2007 11 22 at 05:02 AM • permalink

  130. #109: Onya Contrail. You are bang on target with that comment.

    Posted by Skeeter on 2007 11 22 at 05:58 AM • permalink

  131. #120 steve,

    ssshhhhhh!!!

    Mrs Paco doesn’t know about Mr Paco’s second job.

    I promised him I wouldn’t tell anyone after I made him give me back the five dollars I slipped into his G-string when he was on stage.

    That was before I realised who it was in the Indian outfit during The Village People nostalgia night at the RSL.

    I didn’t promise I wouldn’t “show” anyone else. ;)

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 11 22 at 05:58 AM • permalink

  132. #131: Mrs Paco doesn’t know about Mr Paco’s second job.

    She does now! Thank goodness there’s an outlet on the front porch for my electric blanket.

    Posted by paco on 2007 11 22 at 01:24 PM • permalink

  133. #132 Paco,

    it was Steve Skubinna’s fault.

    He recognised you in that film clip I linked to.

    Sorry mate. She’ll get over it, in time. ;)

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 11 22 at 05:22 PM • permalink

  134. Re:#109,

    As a member of a family of non-English speaking, brown-skinned immigrants, I couldn’t agree more with your comment about Deveny et al. and their condescending view of minorities!

    Posted by Brian on 2007 11 22 at 09:21 PM • permalink

  135. She’s a laugh, I mean she’s a racist and against people in the third world from making money…

    Posted by Old school on 2007 11 23 at 02:40 AM • permalink

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