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COOL FOR CANNES
Vulgar Americans just can’t cut it in classy Cannes, reports The Age’s Stephanie Bunbury:
Nowhere, with the possible exception of a NATO summit, throws into relief the culture gap between Europe and the United States more vividly than the Cannes Film Festival ...
Once Hollywood’s management hits town, helping the festival swell the ageing local population tenfold, it becomes clear that there is a gulf in style that is much broader than the mere Atlantic. And just yesterday, watching Jeffrey Katzenberg, supremo of animation films at Dreamworks, stand on a French stage telling people that a car boot is actually a trunk, the contradiction that is Hollywood on the Riviera - where a boot is, in fact, un coffre - grows a little too stark for comfort.
“Trunk” is derived from the old French tronc, by the way. So, stylish Cannes* is too cultural for US slobs, is it? Stephanie didn’t think so in 2002, when way-elegant sack of shit Michael Moore bollarded into town:
Wherever you went at this year’s Cannes Film Festival, one film was being discussed: Bowling for Columbine. “Columbine” as in the Columbine High School massacre. “Bowling” as in what the murderers did before they opened fire on their classmates. Film as in a mad, furious, funny documentary about America’s gun culture by Michael Moore, the lumbering scourge of stupidity.
“How about that!” the Cannes crowd kept saying. What about that bit where he bails up Charlton Heston, film star and head honcho of the National Rifle Association! In his own home! They would repeat the film’s lines from memory, playing out scenes as people once recited their favourite Monty Python sketches. Except Bowling for Columbine isn’t about silly cheese-shop owners. It’s about death and fear. It’s about white America’s fear of black people next door and Muslims in the next country.
Those Islamic Mexicans! They’re terrifying! And in other times-have-changed news:
A strongly pro-war film has been premiered at the Cannes film festival - and it comes from Iraq.
The main part of Hiner Saleem’s Kilomètre Zéro, premiered in competition for the Palme D’Or, is set in 1988 against the backdrop of the deaths of thousands of Iraqi Kurds at the hands of Saddam’s cousin, “Chemical” Ali Hassan al-Majid.
It is framed by scenes of the main characters, now exiled in France, rejoicing at the fall of Baghdad in 2003.
We await Stephanie’s review.
(Via Alan R.M Jones and Bob Bunnett)
*(Admin update: please use the following directions to get to this particular url—cut and paste both parts with no spaces in between into your browser address field—for now; the redirected link is not working properly:
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k1_film_de_sexy-cannes&bild=4&skin=320
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Does that mean anyone calling a trunk a boot is a no class philistine? That using certain idioms but not others dictate whether we are acceptable or alternatively whether we are simply the rude and random hoi polloi?
Damn. I’m still trying to figure out what most of the Aussies and Brits are saying on this blog. Now I better be sure to and maybe even be using it myself or someone might view me as low class due to my Midwest US vocabulary.
“Sod off swampy”. Yes, that should work for me.
Posted by wronwright on 2005 05 14 at 02:51 PM • permalinkSteph obviously feels at home surrounded by “poseurs” and french pseudo intellectuals and should replace the corpulent gruff sack Adams at thr CFF.
Glass in hand and with my back to the wall, i once attended a “Cannes Party”. Some young song writer told me he could not read musical notation and was proud of it!
I know the feeling i replied , there was a time when i was young when i preferred a g tring to a g string too.
So how do you think Debussy wrote such beautiful music, I asked.
Who’s he? and what’s his latest?
Don’t you just love that sophistication?
Hiner Saleem’s Kilomètre Zéro is on my must see list - hope it makes it to queensland.Having seen these swayve and deboner yurpeens skulking around the Loews during the American Film Market in Santa Monica, all I can say, is, Stephanie, vous etes shitting moi…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 05 14 at 03:20 PM • permalinkAnd just yesterday, watching Jeffrey Katzenberg, supremo of animation films at Dreamworks, stand on a French stage telling people that a car boot is actually a trunk
That’s more than a little strange, isn’t it? Did Katzenburg just refer to the “trunk” of a car on stage, and Bunbury found that worthy of mention? Did somebody else refer to a “boot”, and Katzenburg said ‘oh, you mean a trunk’; and again, Bunbury found that worthy of mention? Or was Bunbury saying that Katzenburg got up on stage and said “a car boot is actually a trunk”, indicating that Katzenburg has lost his mind?
Jic — I think he was talking about the way Michael Eisner gave him the trunk…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 05 14 at 03:59 PM • permalinkRebecca, I’ll give you synopsis of “Bowling” to explain the logic of “It’s about white America’s fear of black people next door and Muslims in the next country.”
1. Two suburban kids in Colorado shoot up their school and themselves. >>> Missile factory nearby (actually rocket factory to put up telecom sats).
2. Americans have easy access to guns. (DUH)
3. Americans kill each other more than Canadians. (Please don’t mention the skin color of who is killing who or where [hint: inner cities]!)
4. Moore badgers doodering old actor on his front lawn. >>> Doodering old actor doesn’t shoot Moore though it would have been justified.Moore’s Conclusions: It’s about white America’s fear of brown people.
I was talked into watching it by leftist family members and they were very disappointed in my yelling and throwing things at the TV. So much for keeping the peace.
The French have always mocked us as unsophisticated, even back in the days of the Normans, with their “clacky” version of the language.
‘Course, the Norman Kings of England then proceeded to conquer most of France.
That’ll learn em.
Posted by Quentin George on 2005 05 14 at 05:43 PM • permalinkMoore knows that not even in his most deranged, drug-induced fantasy will he ever come close to being like Charlton Heston for all the obvious reasons of brains, talent, good looks, breeding, charm, and integrity, but also because Mr. Heston is a gentleman— something Moore could never be.
It sickens me that Katzenberg, a well known rich American, is kissing up to EUROweenies trying to impress the gilded elites with his vast of knowledge of regional language usage. He’s a jerk dontcha know and doesn’t speak for the rest of us.
Just peddle your wares Jeffrey old boy and stop making a fool of yourself.
JDB — A Parisian French accent on a woman is charming. A Parisian French Accent on a man is what diarrhea sounds like…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 05 14 at 07:51 PM • permalinkBugger it, I’m in a real mood to beat up on the French . . . .
THE COMPLETE MILITARY HISTORY OF FRANCE
Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.
Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; “France’s armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman.”
Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.
Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots.
Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.
War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.
The Dutch War - Tied.
War of the Augsburg League/King William’s War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French
military power.War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved ever since.
American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as “de Gaulle Syndrome”, and
leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; “France only wins when America does most of the fighting.”French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.
The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.
The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France’s ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.
World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it’s like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn’t call her “Fraulein.” Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any
improvement in the French bloodline.World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.
War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu.
Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare: “We can always beat the French.” This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans,
English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald’s.
Classic Quote: “Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion.” (Donald Rumsfeld)
While we’re bashing the french this recent quote from a couple of months ago is priceless.
“French workers should be the most productive in the world, and we will strike until the government can discover why we are not” - Rene L’ampoule Friday 11 March 2005.
Rene is a spokesman for truck drivers who blocked most of the nation’s major roadways in France’s fifteenth nationwide strike this year as at 11th March.
And jokingly how about the below advertisement.
FOR SALE: CACHE OF FRENCH MILITARY RIFLES. Excellent condition, well maintained. Every rifle has never been fired and only dropped once.
Posted by Hank Reardon on 2005 05 14 at 09:19 PM • permalinkSteve68,
Totally excellent. My compliments. (I can tell it’s from the heart). Nothing makes me laugh quicker or more heartily than reading someone’s analysis of French military prowess.
Posted by wronwright on 2005 05 14 at 11:42 PM • permalinkYou shoulda read von Rundstedt’s. It was a hoot.
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 05 14 at 11:51 PM • permalinkThe infamous Google spoof (still top of the page when you put in “French military victories”)
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/victories.html
And what clicking the defeat bit gives you
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/france.html
Posted by Aging Gamer on 2005 05 15 at 12:44 AM • permalinkThe wacky Fwench have picked another battle they’re bound to lose: against Google.
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2005 05 15 at 03:10 AM • permalinkyou know your cms is crap when it doesn’t replace ‘&’ with ‘% 26’ (without the space) in redirect urls
and all the other characters that should be escaped as well..
seriously though, considering all the features of expression engine i’m surprised they weren’t aware of this problem
Posted by drscroogemcduck on 2005 05 15 at 06:25 AM • permalinkDr Scrooge: tell me about it. There must be some dumb simple thing I can do to fix this problem for once and for all, but I can’t seem to find anything about it on the EE support forums that makes any sense. And you’ll all kill me if I change the blog software yet again.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2005 05 15 at 11:33 AM • permalinkWell I won’t, in gaming circles finding females is like finding a unicorn with a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, who then asks in a strong South African accent where our towels are.
As such, they are worshipped until driven away by endless demands for naked pictures.
Posted by Aging Gamer on 2005 05 15 at 12:33 PM • permalinkYou don’t want to see naked pictures of me. Trust me.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2005 05 15 at 12:47 PM • permalinkCuriosity killed the cat, Rob.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2005 05 15 at 03:16 PM • permalinkI don’t know Andrea. Richard McEnroe says he has pictures of you in heels and stockings holding a riding crop. And the price just keeps going up, up, up. Especially every time you slap around a fake Muslim, barehanded.
IBM’s stock should be so lucky.
Posted by wronwright on 2005 05 15 at 11:25 PM • permalinkI make every day Election Day, and movies have lost my last 1,184 elections.
Posted by chinesearithmetic on 2005 05 16 at 01:25 PM • permalink
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Except Bowling for Columbine isn’t about silly cheese-shop owners. It’s about death and fear. It’s about white America’s fear of black people next door and Muslims in the next country.
She uses the words “death and fear”, but I don’t believe she actually understands what they mean. And I fail to see what two white teenagers murdering their peers and teachers in school has to do with fear of blacks and Muslims. Was Ms. Bunbury clear on all the facts of the case?
She is right about one thing. There is a tremendous gap between most of the people of the U.S. and the Cannes elite of Europe.