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The latest benefit of global warming: Oak-eating Tuscan killer moths that poison the British!

UPDATE. Amos: “On the whole I like the British, but if they have to be poisoned, I’m glad it’s a moth that’s doing it.”

Posted by Tim B. on 10/14/2006 at 07:29 AM
  1. I have heard that the moths are thriving because they have learned to hide under bars of soap. Think about it: no British moth-hunter is going to willingly come into close contact with a bar of soap. (Whenever I travel in Britain I hide my valuables under the nearest bar of soap - it has worked so far.)

    Posted by quillpen on 2006 10 14 at 07:41 AM • permalink

  2. Ok, I actually did try to read this one. I kept falling asleep about half way down so maybe I missed the part where it offers evidence about this being due to warmening?

    I know it says it’s because of warmening in the first paragraph but at the end it says its about slack import inspections.

    So, are slack import inspections a side effect of global warmening? Or did I miss something?

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 10 14 at 07:47 AM • permalink

  3. Just spead a few moth balls around the base of each tree should do the trick.  But I’ve heard naphthalene is carcinogenic.  It probably causes global warming too.  Looks like we’re all doomed, or at least the Poms are.

    Posted by Stevo on 2006 10 14 at 08:03 AM • permalink

  4. The Brits are a bunch of wusses for welcoming these mutant moths as their new overlords.

    The Tuscans for example prefer to saute these moths lightly in garlic. They go well with a nice glass of chianti.

    Posted by Art Vandelay on 2006 10 14 at 08:30 AM • permalink

  5. Grimmy, I agree that it was a very weak attempt to blame it on global warmening. To be fair, he did use the term ‘climate change’ so maybe he meant that global coolening had forced the oak trees to migrate from Tuscany.
    And those killer moths sound very much like our Queensland killer moths so I recommend that Euros should not attempt to escape them by migrating here.

    Posted by Skeeter on 2006 10 14 at 08:39 AM • permalink

  6. I wish I understood the page that link led me to.
    Try this linky

    Posted by Skeeter on 2006 10 14 at 08:44 AM • permalink

  7. On the whole I like the British, but if they have to be poisoned, I’m glad it’s a moth that’s doing it.

    Posted by Amos on 2006 10 14 at 08:51 AM • permalink

  8. “The key thing is to have a plan in place for when they emerge. As an island we have the potential to keep this thing at bay.”

    Now if only you had had a plan similar in nature for the, shall we say, Islamic Killer Moths.

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 10 14 at 08:53 AM • permalink

  9. Skeeter:  I was starting to think Australia missed out on having killer moths ... we seem to be evolution’s dumping ground for the world’s most poisonous snakes and spiders, not to mention feral crocodiles, sharks and stingrays ... we do have the Bogan Moth, lemming like and stupid in its behaviour ... it’s consumed by some of our indigenous gastronomes ... probably best guzzled with copious quantities of Château Cardboard I dare say Mr Art Vandelay ...

    Posted by Stevo on 2006 10 14 at 09:00 AM • permalink

  10. I blame Harry Hutton

    Posted by rhhardin on 2006 10 14 at 09:11 AM • permalink

  11. Somebody needs to tell the northern/mid-west US states to get with the program. How DARE them have a blizzard! I’ve a mind to report those non-warming wussies.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2006 10 14 at 09:13 AM • permalink

  12. #11, Texas Bob:

    I keep telling folk on all kinds of forums that they should be bagging and boxing that extra cold up and saving it to send to the troops next summer.

    No one listens though.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 10 14 at 09:21 AM • permalink

  13. Stevo, as a resident of Canberra, I can confirm that the bogong moth can be incredibly dangerous. Let a gimmer of light escape from an open window at the wrong time of year and you can drown under the torrent of the buggers.

    Check out the second pic here: splat

    That said, their smooth, creamy taste means they make a perfect accompaniment to pre-dinner drinks. I’d recommend a dry, crisp semillion or chablis.

    Posted by Art Vandelay on 2006 10 14 at 09:26 AM • permalink

  14. Actually, moths keep lights at a constant bearing to the side, which bearing, if it’s ahead of straigt abeam, leads them to spiral into the light.

    They think they’re holding the moon in a fixed position, heading for some distant mountain field of dew and flowers, rather than some streetlight.

    They’re not wired to notice the difference, because there’s nothing they can do about it even if they notice.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2006 10 14 at 09:36 AM • permalink

  15. Thanks for that, RH. I’ve always thought that moths flew into lights because they were stupid.
    We smart skeeters don’t do it.

    Posted by Skeeter on 2006 10 14 at 09:53 AM • permalink

  16. Miss Redstone said that vagrant adult moths had been seen in Britain before but had not been known to breed.

    Sorry she can’t say the same thing about the British Chav.

    Posted by Some0Seppo on 2006 10 14 at 09:55 AM • permalink

  17. And who will forget the ceremonial release of the bogong moths at the close of the Sydney Olympics?

    One of which landed on Yvonne Kenny’s boobs while singing the Olympic Hymn (Kenny, not the moth).

    Posted by dipole on 2006 10 14 at 10:04 AM • permalink

  18. Sounds like the Brits have their version of the Killer Bees

    But the Brits should be thankful that they didn’t get these Killer Bees.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 10 14 at 10:21 AM • permalink

  19. Maybe these fire ants will eat your moths? We could always loan them a few thousand fertilized queens.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 10 14 at 10:30 AM • permalink

  20. Sigh.  First the barn owls.  Now killer moths.  If there no end to British travail?

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 10 14 at 10:48 AM • permalink

  21. I have heard that the moths are thriving because they have learned to hide under bars of soap.

    If that’s true, wait till the buggers cross the channel. they’ll go through the French like cordwood!

    Posted by Vanguard of the Commentariat on 2006 10 14 at 11:16 AM • permalink

  22. Rebecca H., if only the warmening wasn’t killing all the barn owls—they would be numerous enough to devour those sinister moths and save the British Chavs!

    Posted by ushie on 2006 10 14 at 12:49 PM • permalink

  23. Is there no end to British travail?

    No, , no there isn’t.

    Posted by paco on 2006 10 14 at 02:40 PM • permalink

  24. #23, eek!

    Also, I noticed I wrote “if” instead of “is”, but I was merely using the ancient English habit of writing “f” in place of “s”.  Really.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 10 14 at 03:42 PM • permalink

  25. So, are slack import inspections a side effect of global warmening?

    A sweaty, chafing customs inspector is a slack customs inspector…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 10 14 at 05:58 PM • permalink

  26. #23, paco, No wonder the Brits are having so much trouble.  If people can “bring together” all of a species by merely writing a paper, naught but travail can follow.

    Posted by saltydog on 2006 10 14 at 06:13 PM • permalink

  27. #26: On the positive side, I suppose it’s good the Brits have the fungi talking to each other.

    Posted by paco on 2006 10 14 at 10:11 PM • permalink

  28. #24
    We believe you Rebecca.

    “At the bottom were several rows of very square and highly illuminated notes, and at the top it said ‘Greenfleeves’.  Kidd looked at this and said ‘This is a rather unlikely title, for a fong.’”  Michael Flanders describing how the song Greensleeves came to be written from At the Drop of a Hat.

    Posted by Michael Lonie on 2006 10 15 at 12:28 AM • permalink

  29. Thank you, Michael, that brought back memories.

    “Verily, tis a passing melodious roundelay, but I doubt me an it be commercial. Who wrote this Greenfleeves, anyway?” And a voice from the back of the auditorium shouted out “We did”. So they looked out and could just make out a shadowy figure standing at the back, and they said “Well who are you?” and the figure answered—I think this is the interesting part—the figure answered “We are Henry VIII, we are”. Well then of course they realised that Greensleeves was exactly what they wanted.”

    The whole monologue can be found here, complete with erudite footnotes.

    Posted by ErnieG on 2006 10 15 at 09:19 AM • permalink

  30. OT
    Andrea, why does the line after a

    quoted passage

    come out in a smaller font?

    Posted by ErnieG on 2006 10 15 at 09:25 AM • permalink

  31. You need to make a paragraph break (hit the “enter” key twice) after you close the quote, or else for some reason the template thinks the next part of the comment belongs with the “posted by” information, which is in a smaller font. I’m not sure why this is—I keep meaning to see if a placement of a comma or something in the script will fix this. But life (oh, okay, sleep) keeps interfering.

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 10 15 at 10:36 AM • permalink

  32. I keep meaning to see if a placement of a comma or something in the script will fix this. But life (oh, okay, sleep) keeps interfering.

    Sleep?  Hah!  Well, I for one don’t think that’s a diligent attitude for the supposedly #1 member.  In fact, me thinks said #1 member should consider giving up her #1 number to some other highly respected member with keys to the Turtle Wax cabinet.

    Posted by wronwright on 2006 10 15 at 11:06 AM • permalink

  33. #24: As a collector of 18th century English literature, I frequently encounter the long ‘s’ (which does resemble an ‘f’). Once (for my own amusement), I read one of Dr. Johnson’s magisterial passages aloud, pronouncing the ‘s’ like the ‘f’ it really appears to be; sounds just like Sylvester the Cat.

    Posted by paco on 2006 10 15 at 12:50 PM • permalink

  34. I never cared much for Dr. Johnfon.  Or Bofwell, for that matter.

    Posted by ushie on 2006 10 15 at 02:41 PM • permalink

  35. To each hif own.

    Posted by ErnieG on 2006 10 15 at 04:31 PM • permalink

  36. Fuffer..

    Posted by crash on 2006 10 16 at 10:00 AM • permalink

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