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CONSPIRACY ETERNAL

Mark Steyn on all those guys driving around with “9/11 Was An Inside Job” bumper stickers:

That aligns reality with every conspiracy movie from the past three decades: It’s always the government who did it - sometimes it’s some supersecret agency working deep within the bureaucracy from behind an unassuming nameplate on a Washington street; and sometimes it’s the president himself - but when poor Joe Schmoe on the lam from the Feds eventually unravels it, the cunning conspiracy is always the work of a ruthlessly efficient all-powerful state. So Iraq is Vietnam. And 9/11 is the Kennedy assassination, with ever higher percentages of the American people gathering on the melted steely knoll.

There’s a kind of decadence about all this: If 9/11 was really an inside job, you wouldn’t be driving around with a bumper sticker bragging that you were on to it.

If only it were limited to stickers ...

Posted by Tim B. on 10/29/2007 at 10:44 AM
  1. I had never noticed that until he mentioned it, but of course he’s right.

    The alternative is that, if they really DO believe it, they are insane enough to think that our government could ever pull off such a complicated feat of conspiracy without screwing it up completely.

    Posted by zeppenwolf on 2007 10 29 at 11:12 AM • permalink

  2. We ask, “Why do they hate us?”

    Well, maybe it’s because all of our movies and TV shows say that the U.S. is a partnership of evil government and evil corporations bent on world domination.

    Thanks, Hollywood.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2007 10 29 at 11:51 AM • permalink

  3. Hollywood has, for a long time, opted to bed down with the devil they don’t know.

    Posted by paco on 2007 10 29 at 11:59 AM • permalink

  4. http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=911_morons

    sums it up better, than beating around the bush talking about bumper stickers…

    Posted by sam on 2007 10 29 at 12:49 PM • permalink

  5. “It seems to me, for example, that when anti-war types bemoan Iraq as this generation’s Vietnam “quagmire,” .......most anybody under 50 is thinking of Vietnam movies: some vague video-store mélange of “The Full Metal Deer Apocalypse.”“

    The Full Metal Deer Apocalypse would be a great name for a rock band.

    Posted by Merlin on 2007 10 29 at 01:01 PM • permalink

  6. Steyn, as usual, is right on target. Imagine a Bavarian driving around in a Volkswagon in 1940 bearing the bumpersticker, “Wake Up, People! Adolph’s a Psychopath!”

    Posted by paco on 2007 10 29 at 01:55 PM • permalink

  7. My favorite part of the conspiracy is the “carefully controlled demolition” of the Twin Towers.  Go on any project involving an actual carefully controlled demolition to see what it takes, then ‘splain to me Lucy how anyone managed to prepare the Towers without notice.  Since such a project would require a very long period of preparation, it would mean that Bush knew he’d be president long before the election, and planned…. 

    Of course, no Truther ever made plans beyond the next five minutes.  Plans require at least a modicum of thought. 

    But notice how nicely everything else flows if you believe in the omniscience and omnipotence of the government (hehehe I can’t say that without giggling).  In their reality, the government MUST have deliberately diddled after Katrina.  The government MUST have known that there were no WMDs.  The fact that “military precision” is something even the military yearns after and seldom accomplishes, makes no difference.  The fact that no one can point to a single thing the government ever accomplished with any competence beyond muddling through, makes no difference.  The fact that there are so many in the government leaking classified information and writing diatribes against this super-government makes no difference. 

    Years ago this country shut down most of its hospitals treating mental illness.  Since that time, the streets are full of those who ought to be under care.

    Posted by saltydog on 2007 10 29 at 02:42 PM • permalink

  8. #4 sam

    The $10 bill folding trick made me fall out of my chair!!!!

    Posted by Old Tanker on 2007 10 29 at 04:44 PM • permalink

  9. It is the defining feature of a small mind to seek to find conspiricies where none exist, to make up for the realisiation of one’s own pitiful unimportance.

    And, sadly, it is the young who are most at risk from these lunacies.

    Umberto Eco has many faults, but his demolition of moronic conspiracy theorising in Foucault’s Pendulum should be compulsory reading for all young people.

    Posted by Apparatchik on 2007 10 29 at 04:52 PM • permalink

  10. 9 - I second that thumbs-up on Foucault’s Pendulum. Well worth reading.

    Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 10 29 at 05:13 PM • permalink

  11. Well, you know, Halloween is this week.  Time for the real goblins to come out.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 10 29 at 05:29 PM • permalink

  12. Gee, I wonder what the loons wear for Halloween.  Haven’t they already wasted their best stuff marching for whatever it is they march for?

    Posted by saltydog on 2007 10 29 at 05:42 PM • permalink

  13. The anti-war mob have always been very imaginative in their claims.

    Remember all the claims that Ho Chi Minh and Castro weren’t really communists at all, but ‘popular heroes’ who just wanted independence from the USA….

    Exactly the same rubbish is now claimed for the worst Islamist insurgents in Iraq—“they’re ONLY freedom fighters”....

    Mindblowing stupidity

    Posted by Barrie on 2007 10 29 at 05:54 PM • permalink

  14. 4. sam

    “Watching this video is like being bukakked with stupid.”

    Now thats a quote worth stealing, sums up loose change beautifully.

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 10 29 at 06:13 PM • permalink

  15. Hay, wot’s wrong? The woman in the first pic has nice tits. Idiots aren’t all bad.

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 10 29 at 07:15 PM • permalink

  16.   “It seems to me, for example, that when anti-war types bemoan Iraq as this generation’s Vietnam “quagmire,” .......most anybody under 50 is thinking of Vietnam movies: some vague video-store mélange of “The Full Metal Deer Apocalypse.”“

    Anyone else reminded of the Duckman episode where he has flash-backs to Vietnam, and it turns out he was just flashing-back to Vietnam movies?

    Posted by Rob Crawford on 2007 10 29 at 07:17 PM • permalink

  17. #6 Maybe they did paco.

    But not for long.

    Posted by kae on 2007 10 29 at 07:58 PM • permalink

  18. How can conspiracists say on the one hand that the government/administration is incompetent, then in the next breath say that it’s all a very cleverly planned conspiracy (and judging by the banknote origami tricks, it’s been brewing since 1928!!) and carried out by the government/administration?

    Posted by kae on 2007 10 29 at 08:00 PM • permalink

  19. #16, yeah, whenever I listen to CCR I flash back to ‘Nam.  And I was never there.

    Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2007 10 29 at 08:03 PM • permalink

  20. #7 What salty said.
    and this:

    Years ago this country shut down most of its hospitals treating mental illness.  Since that time, the streets are full of those who ought to be under care*.

    It’s happened there too? Sheesh.

    *and they all seem to by carrying silly plackards!!

    Posted by kae on 2007 10 29 at 08:04 PM • permalink

  21. #18 - you’re kidding, right?  Okay, try this:

    A) George W. Bush is the stupidest human being in the universe, and;

    B) George W. Bush is a omnipotent manipulative genius master of deception.

    Can’t you hold both of these ideas at the same time and believe, really truly believe with every fiber of your being?  So what’s your trouble?  Surely you aren’t suggesting that you lack the basic intellectual flexibility of the Mark One Mod Zero leftoid?

    Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2007 10 29 at 08:10 PM • permalink

  22. #21 Nooo, their view is

    C) All of the above!

    Maybe I am stupid. I just don’t understand how these two opposite views can be held in the one brain at the same time.

    I think I prefer my (our) kind of stupid!

    I once said before that I didn’t understand how people who are so stupid can manage to survive. But they do. Unfortunately.

    Ahhhh, it’s a mystery.

    Posted by kae on 2007 10 29 at 08:17 PM • permalink

  23. #22: I once said before that I didn’t understand how people who are so stupid can manage to survive. But they do. Unfortunately.

    Ahhhh, it’s a mystery.

    Not really. George Soros has provided them all with one of these, and he keeps ‘em filled.

    Posted by paco on 2007 10 29 at 08:41 PM • permalink

  24. #23
    Hmmm.

    Who fills them?
    Huh?
    Who’s responsible?
    I’ve discovered the weakness…

    Posted by kae on 2007 10 29 at 08:54 PM • permalink

  25. I once said before that I didn’t understand how people who are so stupid can manage to survive. But they do. Unfortunately.

    Occupational Health and Safety regulations.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 10 29 at 09:48 PM • permalink

  26. #22, Kae I just don’t understand how these two opposite views can be held in the one brain at the same time.

    It’s the classic definition of schizophrenia.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 10 29 at 11:14 PM • permalink

  27. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. If governments can’t even cover up one guy getting BJs under his desk, what hope do they have with something on the scale of 9/11.

    Posted by Aging Gamer on 2007 10 29 at 11:16 PM • permalink

  28. #24 Ash_: ah yes, the antidote to natural selection.  We’ve had the same thing happen in the US - government programs intended to insulate people from the consequences of stupidity.  As a result they are surviving long enough to breed, and not all of them abort.

    Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2007 10 29 at 11:18 PM • permalink

  29. The whole 9/11 conspiracy relies on countless people not feeling at all guilty about killing 3000 people. If it was a government set up, someone would have felt guilty by now and would have exposed the entire scheme. Either that, or we would have heard an awful lot about mysterious deaths of people connected to the Government. Ain’t no way the media would leave a story like that unexposed.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 10 29 at 11:28 PM • permalink

  30. #28 When I was showing off my craftsmanship in putting together my office chair, I swear to God, on the bottom of the seat part, it said something along the lines of “Ensure chair is correct way up before sitting”.

    I don’t think I want to know what caused them to put that warning there.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 10 29 at 11:32 PM • permalink

  31. #26
    Ahh, of their meds and on the wrong side of the assylum wall…

    Posted by kae on 2007 10 29 at 11:54 PM • permalink

  32. #28 He he.

    I’m familiar with many OH&S policies and procedures, and it mostly seems to be based on good, common sense.

    Unfortunately, as previously observed, commonsense is becoming most un-common.

    But you’re right. There should be a certain amount of leeway given to those without common sense - call it cleansing the gene pool.

    Posted by kae on 2007 10 29 at 11:57 PM • permalink

  33. kae

    A certain major mining company in Perth had a problem with staff getting paper cuts when they used the office fax/copier machine.
    Now everyone has to wear gloves to use the machine. The office is located in a multi story building in the CBD, they are some way up. However the secretaries (poor paper cut sufferers) generally wear high heels, not very practical in an evacuation.
    Its that sort of OH&S which shits me to tears.

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 10 30 at 03:45 AM • permalink

  34. #33 Thought it was you frollicking…
    Hmm
    I pointed out a safey hazard on a bridge between buildings years ago… and there were single stair treads which were two pieces of wood, dangerous for even a tiny heel. These were fixed, it’s just someone else never recognised them.

    It’s the bullshit ones that suck shit.

    Heard on the news thisafternoon that, I think, a coroner found that skydivers should have to wear helmets. I think she was investigating a PLANE CRASH.
    What next? Helmets in your car? Wrap us in cotton wool?

    sorry.

    Now on the Kids’ news on ABC Ahnold is talking about the bushfires, saying that “it crated der pehhhrfekt stahm”.

    Posted by kae on 2007 10 30 at 03:59 AM • permalink

  35. What next? Helmets in your car?

    It’s been done. Years ago now, but some Melbourne journo did a piece on how he had taken to wearing his helmet every time he got behind the wheel. Had a photo of himself in headgear - looked totally stupid too, which may have been pointed out to him by a kind-hearted friend.

    Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 10 30 at 05:42 AM • permalink

  36. http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/911truth.html

    A great article on truthers.

    Posted by wreckage on 2007 10 30 at 06:01 AM • permalink

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