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COLA CONTROLLED; NEXT, PIZZA

Tehran television exposes the evil cola scams of those crafty Jews:

The Zionists are the largest shareholders in the world’s drink manufacturers. They make hundreds of thousands of billions of dollars from this annually. This way, they export their colonialist schemes with this product, at no additional cost.

Take, for example, the Pepsi drink. Do you know what Pepsi stands for? ‘Pay Each Penny Save Israel.’

Among other companies implicated in worldwide Jewishness: Coca Cola, Sara Lee, Marks & Spencer, Nestle, Intel, McDonald’s, Marlboro, Disney, Timberland, Revlon, Hugo Boss, Calvin Klein, Tommy Hilfiger, L’Oreal, and Garnier. How do Jews find the time for all this globey domination? Self-confessed Jew Max Friedman admits:

It’s really hard ruling the world, starting wars, raping, pillaging and plundering, without enough sleep. Perhaps tomorrow I’ll take over the weather. Then my enemies can accuse me of global warming, too. Why not?

The waters of the Atlantic Coast beaches this summer were too cold to do much swimming, so I’ve really got to do something about warming them up. Then we Jews can control the rental of beach chairs, umbrellas and the sand, while secretly taking over control of Thrasher’s fries and Grotto’s pizza. Now, that will really show our critics that we are serious about ruling the world. He who controls french fries and pizza rules!

UPDATE. Dan Lewis: “I always thought it was Pay Each Penny, Screw Iran!”

UPDATE II. Steve Skubinna: “So what does ‘Iran’ mean? Israel Rules All Nations?”

Posted by Tim B. on 09/26/2006 at 01:55 PM
  1. The secrets now revealed!

    Disney = Dimes In Secret Nest-Egg for Yids

    Intel = Israel National Tremendous Enormous League

    Marlboro = Mar (cut) + lb (pound) + oro (gold in Spanish) = cut a pound of gold (for Israel)

    Don’t have the others sorted out yet, but I trust Tim’s board to help out…

    Posted by SoberHT on 2006 09 26 at 02:15 PM • permalink

  2. ...hundreds of thousands of billions of dollars…

    He thinks they do in excess of <u>a hundred trillion</u> dollars of business?

    Posted by Steven Den Beste on 2006 09 26 at 02:52 PM • permalink

  3. Perhaps tomorrow I’ll take over the weather. Then my enemies can accuse me of global warming, too.

    Ok, finally.  Exoneration.

    For all those of you who accused me having something to do with Katrina and global warming just because I lost the operators manual for the Japanese weather machine, I expect an apology forthwith.

    Posted by wronwright on 2006 09 26 at 03:02 PM • permalink

  4. Hundreds of thousands of billions of dollars, thats some coin.

    Posted by phillip on 2006 09 26 at 03:04 PM • permalink

  5. Look for The Protocols of the Elders of Domino’s at your local Borders anytime now.

    Posted by Mark V. on 2006 09 26 at 03:30 PM • permalink

  6. Hmmm.

    Wow. 

    Now I know who to complain to when the silly vending machine eats my change.

    Posted by memomachine on 2006 09 26 at 03:32 PM • permalink

  7. Don’t forget how the Mossad whacked Little Mikey with Pop Rocks and Soda Pop.

    Bastards!

    Posted by JDB on 2006 09 26 at 03:45 PM • permalink

  8. Pardon the pedantry, but this sort of “hidden message” crap really roasts my ‘rhoids:

    Anybody who knows anything about modern-day soda knows that it all began as Patent Medicine (think NyQuil or Mylanta): Pepsi-Cola had pepsin in it ‘to aid digestion’, which is how we picked up the habit of drinking soda with lunch.

    AAAaarrgh, I hate Conspirancy Theorists….

    Posted by Challeron on 2006 09 26 at 03:51 PM • permalink

  9. Hey, who controls the oil in those Coca bottles?

    Posted by stats on 2006 09 26 at 04:24 PM • permalink

  10. The brand “Pepsi-Cola” was, I note, trademarked in 1903.  Who would have been trying to “Save Israel” back then?

    The pepsin theory, though, is just one of several.  It is a matter of dispute if early versions included pepsin; later versions certainly did not.

    Theory 2 is it was to relieve dys<i>pepsi<i>a, and it so shared a linguistic root with pepsin without being named for pepsin.

    A third theory is that the owner bought the rights to “Pep Kola” from a competitor and changed the name slightly.

    And the fourth theory notes that the original drugstore was across the street from an Episcopal church:

    EPIS CO P AL
    P EPIS CO AL
    PEPSI COLA

    It’s an Anglican Conspiracy!

    Posted by Warmongering Lunatic on 2006 09 26 at 04:47 PM • permalink

  11. C’mon, y’all don’t know about the People Leaving Yisrael With Oodles & Oodles of Dinero syndicate cooking up hurricanes?

    Posted by Donnah on 2006 09 26 at 05:03 PM • permalink

  12. Calvin Klein = Cash Advances Liquidated for Vicious INfidels’ & Kikes’ Liens

    You didn’t think there was actually a person named Calvin Klein, did you?

    Posted by SoberHT on 2006 09 26 at 05:14 PM • permalink

  13. Pepsi deliberately avoided doing business in Israel in order to not offend the rest of the Middle Eastern market. And they were eventually rewarded for their efforts by the launching of Mecca Cola. On the other hand, Coke, showing why they’re still no. 1, preferred to deal with 1st World nation Israel, Population 5m, as opposed to dealing with 500m Arabs with oil who still manage to be part of the Third World. Go figure!

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2006 09 26 at 05:39 PM • permalink

  14. He thinks they do in excess of a hundred trillion dollars of business?

    They’re Zimbabwe dollars.

    Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 09 26 at 05:46 PM • permalink

  15. I have a sinking feeling that some Iranians will read Friedman’s quote and see it as confirmation of their theories. They are not big on sarcastic humour over there.

    Posted by zscore on 2006 09 26 at 05:47 PM • permalink

  16. This way, they export their colonialist schemes with this product, at no additional cost.

    And this is done… how, exactly?  Subliminal messages printed on the bottles and cans?  Sodium Pentothal in the formula, perhaps?  I dunno, but if you can imagine it, the Jews can do it.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 09 26 at 05:52 PM • permalink

  17. Kikes Funnel Cash will be relieved they are not onto them yet.

    Colonel Sanderstein will be chuckling from the grave.

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 09 26 at 06:40 PM • permalink

  18. What, you mean somebody doesn’t like Sara Lee?

    Posted by VKI on 2006 09 26 at 06:50 PM • permalink

  19. Reminds me of a joke I heard once (can’t remember from whom):

    Two old Jewish guys are sitting on a park bench in New York, reading newspapers. The first is reading the NY Times. He glances over and sees the second man is happily perusing a Neo-Nazi paper. “How in the world can you read THAT?!?!” the first guy demands, totally shocked.

    “Well, if I read your paper, I get ‘suicide bombings in Tel-Aviv, synagogue descrations in LA, UN passes resolution condemning Israel.’ Mine tells me ‘Jews pull the strings in Hollywood, Jews run the banks, Jews control Washington.’ I like this one better.”

    Posted by David Emami on 2006 09 26 at 06:58 PM • permalink

  20. So what does “Iran” mean?  Israel Rules All Nations?

    Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2006 09 26 at 07:13 PM • permalink

  21. I always thought it was Pay Each Penny, Screw Iran!

    Posted by Dan Lewis on 2006 09 26 at 07:13 PM • permalink

  22. IRAN = Israel Relies on Ahmadinejad’s Nickles.

    Posted by Ernst Blofeld on 2006 09 26 at 07:21 PM • permalink

  23. IMAM - Israeli Man Acts Muslim

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 09 26 at 07:40 PM • permalink

  24. #14

    He thinks they do in excess of a hundred trillion dollars of business?

    They’re Zimbabwe dollars.

    So what’s the conversion from clams* to bucks?

    *Looking for a reference in the cartoon to clams (couldn’t find one), I found that offensive cartoons have been around for years.

    Posted by kae on 2006 09 26 at 08:53 PM • permalink

  25. Looking for a reference in the cartoon to clams (couldn’t find one)

    CLAMS GOT LEGS!!!

    Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 09 26 at 09:15 PM • permalink

  26. What, you mean somebody doesn’t like Sara Lee?

    Sara Lee make nice Chocolate Danish’s. That’s right “Danish” the cartoon drawing infidels, I knew all along it was connected to the zionists but now I understand how.

    Posted by Ross on 2006 09 26 at 09:17 PM • permalink

  27. INTEL - Israel never trusts European lies
    MACINTOSH - Many Arab Caliphates INvest to our shrewd Hebrews
    DELL - David’s Elders Love Loot
    Man, you’re right.  They control the Computer world too.

    Posted by trainer on 2006 09 26 at 09:32 PM • permalink

  28. Jims (Jews Invest in Muslim Slaughter) Lawnmowing

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 09 26 at 09:39 PM • permalink

  29. Sorry… wasn’t paying attention - busy watching T.V. (Torah Victimizationizer)!

    Posted by der FRED on 2006 09 26 at 09:41 PM • permalink

  30. IBM - Israeli Bomb Money
    Apple - Arab People Pestered, Left Exterminated

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 09 26 at 09:48 PM • permalink

  31. Hopefully Holden, Mercedes and Porsche are inlcuded in the list - I am apsirational, but like to support my team.

    I don’t think the War Office is a team player, wanting to replace the Hyundai with a Volvo.

    Posted by Razor on 2006 09 26 at 09:54 PM • permalink

  32. Mattel

    Muslims And Tea-Towelheads Elimination Limited

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 09 26 at 09:55 PM • permalink

  33. Microsoft

    Many Israeli Commando Raids On Saudi Oil Funding Terrorists.

    Damn, they got the software industry!

    Posted by JSchuler on 2006 09 26 at 10:20 PM • permalink

  34. Very educated and informed analysis from those Iranian scholars. I think they’ve been reading Margot Kingston’s articles.

    Hey wasn’t the first CEO of Disney, as well as Tommy Hilfigger himself, known for making anti-semitic remarks ?

    Don’t let facts get in the way of a goood conspiracy.

    Now I don’t know which to choose, Pepsi or Coke. Which one contains more blood of Palestinian children ?

    Posted by Jono on 2006 09 26 at 10:29 PM • permalink

  35. “Hundreds of thousands of billions of dollars”.

    I feel a bit better about the Iranian nuke program now I know they are innumerate.

    Buckleyite conservatives used to quote a saying, by Richard Vigourie I think.  It was “Don’t let them immanentize the eschchaton.”  In other words don’t let idiots try to create heaven on Earth.  Gorilla Boy (as Meryl Yourish calls him) stood at the podium of the UN and prayed for the Shi’a equivalent of Armageddon, and the assembled crooks and mountebanks of the UN applauded him for it.  Now there is a guy trying to immanentize if ever I saw one.  Drop a nuke on him so he can get the full flavor of what he prayed for.

    Posted by Michael Lonie on 2006 09 26 at 10:37 PM • permalink

  36. A nice expose from Ali-Reza Maghsoud. And something that the IMF and the World Bank should have a look into. Conservatively taking his hundreds of thousand of billions of dollars to be $2 x 10**14, we find that the fiendish Zionists have pocketed over three times the entire World GDP for 2005, as tabulated by IMF and WB.

    And I bet they didn’t pay the right amount of tax on it as well.

    Posted by Whale Spinor on 2006 09 26 at 10:46 PM • permalink

  37. Obviously with products/companies such as Marks & Spencer,Intel, Revlon, Hugo Boss, Calvin Klein and Tommy Hilfiger banned from Muslim shopping lists, I guess there won’t be any need for all those Saudi sheiks to troop over to the west on their glorified shopping sprees.

    Hang on. I guess they’ll still come for the whoring and drinking.

    Posted by Bonmot on 2006 09 26 at 10:50 PM • permalink

  38. And before they were Iran, they were Persia, which manifestly means People Eagerly Rooting to Secure Israel’s Ascendancy!

    Jeez, how blatant can they be?

    Incidentally, I am typing this on my HP, which obviously is a Hebrew ‘Puter.

    Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2006 09 26 at 10:53 PM • permalink

  39. Mars - Making Arabs Run Scared

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 09 26 at 10:56 PM • permalink

  40. Truth Is Mankind’s Best, Last And Impenetrable Redoubt

    Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 09 26 at 11:03 PM • permalink

  41. They’ve included Hugo Boss in the list? Obviously they’re unaware of Boss’s history:

    In 1930 Boss went bankrupt but he set up a new business and tried again. The following year he joined the Nazi party and after Adolf Hitler came to power in 1933, Boss’s business began to flourish when it became an official supplier of uniforms to Hitler’s SA and later to the SS.
    ref.

    It is likely that the factory used forced labour. After the war, Hugo Boss was labelled an “opportunist of the Third Reich” and fined 80,000 marks.
    wiki

    The fact that he designed SS uniforms probably explains why his suits are so snappy these days…

    Posted by Art Vandelay on 2006 09 26 at 11:14 PM • permalink

  42. Dunno, Art, the Nazis had brutally cool uniforms, but for real style and panache you have to give it to the Fascists.

    Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2006 09 26 at 11:18 PM • permalink

  43. I’m back :) I’m okies Tim.

    What about Dr Allah cola?

    Or Seven UP- virgin Cola?

    Diet Mecca?

    Posted by 1.618 on 2006 09 26 at 11:37 PM • permalink

  44. Don’t forget the profit/capitalist whore and now surely zionist-controlled webdiary:

    We Emit Boring Drivel - It Anaesthetises Radical Youths

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 09 26 at 11:46 PM • permalink

  45. People Eagerly Rooting to Secure Israel’s Ascendancy!

    Please tell me that’s not an Australian Jewish front company. Hmm. Or maybe not. On second thought, tell me that it is an Australian Jewish front company; and tell me where they’re hiring.

    Posted by andycanuck on 2006 09 26 at 11:49 PM • permalink

  46. Margos Maid, you are on fire.

    Posted by daddy dave on 2006 09 26 at 11:53 PM • permalink

  47. JewjooJuice sounds tasty!

    Posted by 1.618 on 2006 09 26 at 11:55 PM • permalink

  48. Andy, don’t you get it?  Those jooooos are everywhere!  You probably have some lurking up there in Canadia, eh.

    Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2006 09 27 at 12:17 AM • permalink

  49. Look through the definitions under ‘R’, Steve:
    http://tinyurl.com/zc8mj
    (And for those who are interested in international insults, in Canada a ‘Pepsi’ is a derogatory remark for French-Canadians because they’re both empty from the neck up.)

    Posted by andycanuck on 2006 09 27 at 12:49 AM • permalink

  50. If there was a case of you can’t beat them, join them, then surely Jews are it?

    If 15 or so million Jews can control 6 billion of us it says one of two things.

    1) They are obviously smarter and more professional than the rest of us and deserve their success and domination;

    or

    2) They really do have God on their side.

    Either way it would really piss me off if I was a Mussie. Kind of like barracking for South Sydney and living off a glorious past.

    Posted by The Prez on 2006 09 27 at 01:02 AM • permalink

  51. The first thing i did when i heard the Joos use the soft drinks industry as a means of controlling the world was go out and buy a big bottle of coke, up yours you bearded weirdo!.

    Posted by phillip on 2006 09 27 at 01:08 AM • permalink

  52. The Israeli Mossad’s Blog Leader And Intelligence Retriever

    Posted by Dminor on 2006 09 27 at 01:16 AM • permalink

  53. Did coca-cola originally contain cocaine?

    Posted by Dminor on 2006 09 27 at 01:17 AM • permalink

  54. L’oreal a jewish organisation!
    That’s why it was on the “most wanted” list of Simon Wiesenthal’s Nazi Collaborators! after IG FARBEN!.
    probably why Jane Fonda took their money.
    Correze, Jacques (c. 1911-1991)—member of French right-wing criminal band (Cagoulard) {arrested and put on trial 1948 by a French court for collaboration; convicted and sentenced to a term of imprisonment; served 5 years and then released; became chairman of the American subsidiary of the $1 billion French cosmetics company L’Oreal; under investigation by US Department of Justice Office of Special Investigations 1991 (NYT 20 Jun 1991:D:1:1); resigned and then died of pancreatic cancer 26 Jun 1991 at Paris (NYT 27 Jun 1991:D:9:1).}
    For Eugene Schueller and the l’oreale cover up at wikipedia see;


    NAZI ATTACHMENTS

    Posted by davo on 2006 09 27 at 01:54 AM • permalink

  55. I diot
    R anting
    A nd
    N ukes

    Posted by Inurbanus on 2006 09 27 at 01:59 AM • permalink

  56. #8, Challeron:
    You put forth an interesting theory. We’ll have to investigate further on Pepsi’s conspiracy to dominate the pepsin market.

    #18, VKI:
    They’re nobody.

    #ALL, ALL:
    OPSEC! OPSEC! OPSEC!
    You know the rules people! Loose lips sink global acquisition deals! I expect every one of you to get yourselves to your local Secret Cabal HQ for a re-briefing on what secrets are, why they should be kept and only discussed on the secure Cabala line.

    Lets do try to be more careful.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 09 27 at 02:38 AM • permalink

  57. Then my enemies can accuse me of global warming, too. Why not?

    Don’t think it won’t happen.

    Who would be happier in the Sixth century?

    Greenies.  Check

    Islamists.  Check

    They’re made for each other.

    Posted by Big Jim on 2006 09 27 at 02:44 AM • permalink

  58. Israel
    Now
    Turns
    Even
    Real
    Nebbishes to
    Environmental
    Trashers

    Posted by rampisadmukerjee on 2006 09 27 at 03:41 AM • permalink

  59. #52 Dminor, as usual, another catchy tune.

    Mine was too, I dunno, Procul Harumish?

    I mean, really upper 888600000 2nd harmony soft, no vibrato; lower 877000000 no vibrato, you know?

    With a name like Dminor, you’d what I mean.

    Anyway, yours is better.

    Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 09 27 at 03:42 AM • permalink

  60. #53 - DMinor

    Indeed, the original Coke formula included cocaine as a “lifter”.  Got dropped (?too expensive) in the ‘20s I think.  Now I need a 2 litre bottle just to get enough enegry to go search on Google to find out more about the cocaine in Coke.

    Sigh - for the good old days.  One sip of real Coke and I’d have INVENTED google.

    Posted by rampisadmukerjee on 2006 09 27 at 03:44 AM • permalink

  61. I- Jews
    R- Don’t
    A- Suffer
    N- Dyslexia

    Posted by Ross on 2006 09 27 at 04:29 AM • permalink

  62. Add Lockheed to that list ...

    Zionism is not restricted to the capitalistic weapons companies, such as Lockheed and the banks that support it. (MEMRI article of how Mullahs claim Jews are controlling the movies)

    Lovers of Capitalistism, Kabal Having Evil Engine Designs ???

    Posted by rampisadmukerjee on 2006 09 27 at 08:19 AM • permalink

  63. Those
    Israel-hating
    Moon
    Bats
    Living in
    Australia
    Invite
    Ridicule

    Posted by Some0Seppo on 2006 09 27 at 08:20 AM • permalink

  64. Betty Crocker was off her rocker and was very rarely stable,
    Hilfiger, Hilfiger was a boozy beggar who could drink you under the table.
    Hugo Boss was at no loss when imbibing with Burger King,
    and Calvin Klein was a beery swine who was just as sloshed as anything.

    There’s nothing Sara Lee couldn’t teach you ‘bout the raising of the wrist;
    Timothy himself was permanently pissed….

    Marks & Spencer, were puke dispensers, half a bottle of shanty made ‘em particularly ill;
    Garnier, they say, could stick it away; half a pint of whiskey every day.
    Ronald McDonald was a bugger for the bottle, Revson could drink with zest;
    And Henri Nestlé on a drunken pee said “I make the very best!”

    Yes Timothy himself is particularly missed….
    A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he’s pissed!

    Posted by SoberHT on 2006 09 27 at 09:57 AM • permalink

  65. Coca Cola - besides its clear, continuous support of the Israeli government - had announced its willingness to invest billions of dollars to topple the regime of the Islamic Republic of Iran.

    Is this true? Was it in their annual report, because if it was, I missed it. New slogan: A cola a day keeps the mullahs away.

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 09 27 at 11:24 AM • permalink

  66. No pizza! No juice! Fight the Man, imam.

    Posted by andycanuck on 2006 09 27 at 01:36 PM • permalink

  67. Thanks for the tip, Andy… I’d assumed that every Aussie slang word related either to being drunk or vomiting.  Should have guessed that you’d find other things to do, and slang to identify them.

    By the way, if you’re in Oz, why the Canuck label?

    Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2006 09 27 at 03:20 PM • permalink

  68. >Intel has made enormous investments in Israel. In 2000, this company recruited over 4,000 Israelis.

    I wonder if those are the same 4000 Jews who did not show up for work at the WTC on 9/11

    Posted by Room 237 on 2006 09 27 at 05:04 PM • permalink

  69. I am in Hoserland, Steve, but I’ve learned some Strine through an Aussie friend. And knew about that word in particular because of how popular clothing from the Canadian company, Roots, was in Oz during the Olympics. (And I hope that it didn’t read like I was correcting you sarcastically.)

    Posted by andycanuck on 2006 09 27 at 10:50 PM • permalink

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