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CLOWN TAX

Further to the literary tax moochers item posted earlier, take a look at the NSW government’s 2005 Cultural Grants list. Among the usual handouts to the creatively unemployable (“$5,750 towards the Poets on Wheels tour�, “$25,000 towards the project ‘Puppet’�, “$10,000 towards the commissioning of public artwork ‘sculptural sheep pen maze’�), you’ll find a group that receives mulitple grants: Circus Monoxide.

Circus Monoxide: $37,500 towards the final stage of the upgrade of the big top tent

Circus Monoxide: $95,000 towards the Circus Monoxide regional tour

Circus Monoxide: $40,000 towards the general manager position

Circus Monoxide: $40,000 towards the project ‘Crash ‘n’ Burn’

In 2004:

Circus Monoxide $35,000 towards the acquisition of a seating system
for Circus Monoxide‘s big top tent

Circus Monoxide $100,000 towards the Circus Monoxide ‘Pacific
Highway’ Tour

In 2003-04:

Circus Monoxide Strategic planning session $800

Circus Monoxide ‘Hit and Run’ project $40,000

Circus Monoxide General manager’s position $40,000

They get eight hundred bucks just to hold a meeting? In 2002/3:

Circus Monoxide ... installation of a sprung loaded floor for circus and physical theatre training $21,049

Good quality sprungs don’t come cheap, you know. In 2001/2:

Implementation of Circus Monoxide Strategic Plan $44,000.00

I think I’m beginning to realise what this “strategic plan� might be. In 2001, a Federal handout:

Grant: $70 000

In 2000, it was reported that Circus Monoxide had received ...

... Federal and State Government arts grants totalling an impressive $90,000.

That’s a total of $653,349. Of your taxes. To run a circus. Here’s Alicia Battestini, the organisation’s (it has ten board members) performer, director, production manager, and ... grants writer. Naturally, these socialised jugglers are box office capitalists; adults who’ve already funded the circus through their taxes must pay up to $30 to actually see it.

Children over two years of age? Cheap seats, $10. Ringside ... $20.

Posted by Tim B. on 02/06/2005 at 09:42 AM
  1. When you are so lacking in talent that you cannot support yourself in today’s world, you must turn to your friends in governmental power to steal the money to support you, from the citizens who obviously do not care for your attempts at art.

    Posted by Franklin on 2005 02 06 at 11:21 AM • permalink

  2. I used to do a puppet show with socks and Sesame Street characters for my little sisters. I should put in an application and take the show on the road!

    75 gorillas should cover it.

    Posted by C.L. on 2005 02 06 at 12:34 PM • permalink

  3. With a name like Circus Monoxide, I’d be afraid to sit in their friggin’ “big tent”.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2005 02 06 at 12:39 PM • permalink

  4. Hey, c’mon, at least you’re finally getting some clowns in government who actually wear the make-up.  Think how much better Labour might have done if “Bozo” Latham had actually come out of the little car in costume…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 02 06 at 01:03 PM • permalink

  5. Currency Lad, I wish I had been your little sister.

    A fine night in, indeed.

    Wonder if my idea of putting a doily on my head and standing still in the Queen Street Mall making a statement about everything would get a grant. Mind you, I couldn’t do it for more than five minutes because I would have to go shopping.

    Everyone knows the best y’artz comes when the y’artz is self-funded.

    Posted by Major Anya on 2005 02 06 at 02:59 PM • permalink

  6. Yeah but….....

    “it also contains lots of elements you probably wouldn’t expect: a double-decker bus which catapults performers from its windows and has walls that fold-out; beehived women from the 1950s whose hair dryer chairs launch into the Earth’s orbit”

    If I had all that here in Texas I’d be willing to pay whatever taxes it took to bring this level of entertainment to my town. You’re damn lucky to have such fare!!

    Posted by Wallace-Midland Texas on 2005 02 06 at 03:33 PM • permalink

  7. So let me get this straight… your government took away all your guns, and then they fund clowns with your tax money?  Is that what we have to expect from the gun banners in the US?

    Hell, I’ll gladly pay money to support clowns and mines, provided I can take a shot at them in return.  It’d be like fees from my hunting and fishing licenses going to stocking and conservation efforts.

    Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2005 02 06 at 04:09 PM • permalink

  8. Not my fuckin’ taxes.

    However in 1999, the Canadian government did give a $100 000 grant for someone to make fake dinosaur bones out of concrete.

    Posted by jlc on 2005 02 06 at 04:37 PM • permalink

  9. The ticket prices are meaniningless since no bastard will go anyway.

    Posted by murph on 2005 02 06 at 06:40 PM • permalink

  10. I always thought that monoxide was colourless, odourless and tasteless.

    Now I’m seeing red, can smell an awful stench and have a very bad taste in my mouth.

    Posted by Fluent Idiot on 2005 02 06 at 07:18 PM • permalink

  11. C’mon, all what they’re doing is living up to P.T. Barnum’s famous saying. There can’t be a better definition of a sucker than a government grants officer.

    Posted by Pauly on 2005 02 06 at 07:55 PM • permalink

  12. This mob must be CONNECTED bigtime.You don’t get grants of that magnitude unless many of the outfit are well placed ALP Branch members.

    Posted by Lew on 2005 02 06 at 08:28 PM • permalink

  13. Every one of these idiotic grants should have to be published on the front page of every major daily newspaper- how long do you reckon it would take before every parliament is razed to the ground accompanied by assorted politicians flapping in the breeze from lamp-posts? There needs to be a cull of these malfeasant monkeys.

    Posted by Habib on 2005 02 06 at 09:30 PM • permalink

  14. I have the honour to know some REAL circus people. None of them take the grant-grubbers seriously.

    Posted by Susan Norton on 2005 02 06 at 09:39 PM • permalink

  15. Ahem…

    Why aren’t I rich? It isn’t fair.
    My hand thrust deep in your pocket
    there’s nothing there.
    Where is my grant?

    Why are you pissed? What’s wrong with it?
    Get to it you peon, your keeping me on
    the government tit.
    Where is my grant? Give me my grant.

    Posted by fidens on 2005 02 06 at 10:16 PM • permalink

  16. At least real carnies make you think you have a chance of winning when they’re ripping you off; what’s the betting that this circus is a social-advocacy/politically correct load of bollocks that doesn’t even torment critters?

    Posted by Habib on 2005 02 06 at 11:03 PM • permalink

  17. Perhaps there should be a newspaper section giving details of recent government grants, but it’s not going to happen. The Left is constantly demanding inquiries into the Children Overboard affair and government handling of intelligence prior to the Iraq war, then demanding a new round of enquiries after the first round clear the Howard Government of any wrongdoing. However, there are cries of ‘how dare you’ when the Left has to comprehend big conservative words such as transparency and accountability, a recent example being Gunns suing greenies for over $6 million in lost earnings.

    No matter. If I had $650,000 I’d do something completely original, such as giving it to a former UN weapons inspector to quit the post of Governor of Tasmania…oh wait, that’s already been done.

    Posted by lmbrjk on 2005 02 06 at 11:54 PM • permalink

  18. What? No clown cars?  Jeez, if I spent that much money on a circus, I’d want a LEAST a few clown cars.  Oh, and monkies with cigars.

    Posted by MikeTheLibrarian on 2005 02 07 at 12:20 AM • permalink

  19. i’ll bet they have a few bearded ladies and an assortment of pinhead people but…

    Posted by Lucky Nutsacks on 2005 02 07 at 12:25 AM • permalink

  20. If Circus Monoxide wants Ward Churchill back, he should be free to put the big red nose back on in a month or two.

    Posted by Roberts on 2005 02 07 at 12:46 AM • permalink

  21. Dear Habib,

    As I said, I know some real circus people. For your own sake don’t confuse real circus and carny people when you talk to them or you may be singing soprano!

    Posted by Susan Norton on 2005 02 07 at 12:50 AM • permalink

  22. Is this one of those “art circuses”? That stage life-size Javanese-inspired shadow puppet shows of the late plays of Samuel Beckett? Or have acrobats in Comme Des Garçons leotards performing to Philip Glass music performed by Tuvan throat singers?

    Or is this an old fashioned nightmare-inducing circus that manages to, in the space of an hour, give kids their first glimpse at the chilling, horrible darkness that lurks just beneath the surface of a life that, until the moment they saw that first leering, yellow-toothed clown or broken-spirited elephant with running sores, was all happiness and sunshine.

    Posted by goldsmith on 2005 02 07 at 02:28 AM • permalink

  23. Susan Norton — Never mix tent and midway, eh?

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 02 07 at 02:58 AM • permalink

  24. I seem to recall Circus Monoxide getting a big rah rah spot on ABC television a while ago. Says it all really…..(sniff)

    Posted by Boss Hog on 2005 02 07 at 03:17 AM • permalink

  25. Never heard of them!
    These groups usually disappear up their own exhast pipes, eventually.

    Posted by blogstrop on 2005 02 07 at 05:40 AM • permalink

  26. “Yes, yes culture’s all very well Neddy but…”(The Goons).

    Posted by crash on 2005 02 07 at 06:14 AM • permalink

  27. fx: splash!

    He’s fallen in the water

    Posted by Pauly on 2005 02 08 at 02:55 AM • permalink

  28. Have a read of;
    http://www.dbmagazine.com.au/325/f-rv-CircusMonoxide.shtml

    Sadly the cynics amongst us are correct.
    They suck

    Posted by Fluent Idiot on 2005 02 08 at 07:53 PM • permalink

  29. rosceo - the pinheads aren’t at the circus!

    Posted by kae on 2005 02 08 at 09:49 PM • permalink

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