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CLIMATE CHANGE MESSAGE CHANGES

October. The British government warns:

Alan Johnson, the Secretary of State for Health, warned yesterday that Britain’s obesity crisis is as serious as climate change ...

November. The British government warns:

British Environment Minister Joan Ruddock has warned citizens that by not eating leftover food, they are effectively causing climate change.

UPDATE. A more serious warning from the head of Britain’s intelligence services:

Jonathan Evans, the chief of MI5 ... said that at least 2,000 people are living in Britain who pose a threat to security because of the country’s support for al Qaeda-inspired terrorism ...

Evans said the figure of 2,000—an increase of 400 since November 2006—only included those the intelligence services knew about and that the actual number could be double.

He said there had been 200 terrorist convictions in Britain since the September 11 attacks.

No word yet on how much they eat.

Posted by Tim B. on 11/05/2007 at 05:05 PM
  1. Always focusing on the negatives.  When is someone going to come out with a useful idea about global warming, like:

    ‘Mowing your lawn too often causes climate change.’

    ‘Goofing off at work is good for the environment.’

    Something like that.  I might even become a GW believer!

    Posted by blogagog on 2007 11 05 at 05:15 PM • permalink

  2. Global warming will create sauna-like conditions and sweat that lard off our butts.  So, not to worry!

    Posted by Mystery Meat on 2007 11 05 at 05:29 PM • permalink

  3. Whoa! Talk about “eat-your-peas-government”!

    Posted by paco on 2007 11 05 at 05:34 PM • permalink

  4. “because of the country’s support for al Qaeda-inspired terroris”

    Would that be “opposition to”?

    Posted by PeterTB on 2007 11 05 at 05:53 PM • permalink

  5. I love it:

    Alan Johnson, the Secretary of State for Health, warned yesterday that Britain’s obesity crisis is as serious as climate change ...

    British Environment Minister Joan Ruddock has warned citizens that by not eating leftover food, they are effectively causing climate change.

    So the messages are:

    Eat up to avoid climate change…
    If you eat up, you get fat which is worse than climate change…
    Therefore stop eating to avoid climate change..
    Therefore eat up .... etc., etc., etc., round the loop we go.

    So what’s a person supposed to do? Eat or not eat? [now that is the question?]

    But if people in Britain continue to eat, it looks like they could be taken away and presumably locked up for their own good!

    Hang on, surely this must be as serious as climate change. Ah yes - I suppose it must be especially with Sir David King in on the act too saving, “There is a danger the moment to act radically and dramatically will be missed.”

    Posted by Wand on 2007 11 05 at 06:00 PM • permalink

  6. Who wouldn’t wanna be a fat ol’ happy redneck in this crazy world?

    Posted by Big Jim on 2007 11 05 at 06:04 PM • permalink

  7. No word yet on how much they eat.

    We can assume it doesn’t include pork.

    Posted by anthony_r on 2007 11 05 at 06:08 PM • permalink

  8. Terrorists Enemy combatants Men of no discernable appearance held in Guantanamo gain weight.  Does this mean obesity is caused by global warmening?

    Posted by charles austin on 2007 11 05 at 06:21 PM • permalink

  9. Who cares about al Qaeda when there are so many sweaty, fat people!

    Posted by Latino on 2007 11 05 at 06:29 PM • permalink

  10. #7 We should assume that it’s all pork.

    Posted by Mike H. on 2007 11 05 at 06:49 PM • permalink

  11. And if it isn’t, we should ask why.

    Posted by Mike H. on 2007 11 05 at 06:50 PM • permalink

  12. Oh dear.  After forty years of cooking, which I’m thoroughly sick of, I try to make Mr. H eat leftovers as often as possible.  Am I wrong?

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 11 05 at 06:53 PM • permalink

  13. The curious thing about Evans’ speech was his avoidance of the I and M words.  In the words of ace bloggerette Melanie Phillips: 

    “His sole hint that religion might have something to do with this [extremist] ideology comes in this glancing reference:

      It requires a collective effort in which Government, faith communities and wider civil society have an important part to play.”

    I feel much better now I know the name of Rudd’s newest bureaucracy - The Department of Faith Communities.

    Posted by HRT1009 on 2007 11 05 at 07:00 PM • permalink

  14. Westminster fiddles while London burns…

    Posted by Apparatchik on 2007 11 05 at 07:30 PM • permalink

  15. 14 Apparatchik

    Westminster fiddles while London burns…

    So true

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 11 05 at 07:47 PM • permalink

  16. #12: After forty years of cooking, which I’m thoroughly sick of, I try to make Mr. H eat leftovers as often as possible.  Am I wrong?

    Wrap up some and send ‘em to me, Rebecca. I’ll let you know.

    Posted by paco on 2007 11 05 at 08:24 PM • permalink

  17. Haven’t they figured out that what causes global warming is globes?

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 11 05 at 09:18 PM • permalink

  18. No word yet on how much they eat.

    It’ll be OK as long as they aren’t overweight and only use Gaia Friendly light globes.

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 05 at 11:23 PM • permalink

  19. Rebecca,
    You’ve got forty years of leftovers you’re trying to feed Mr. H?  I’ve heard the saying that “kissing don’t last but cooking does,” but never thought to hear of it applied in such a way.

    Prisoners at Gitmo getting fat?  There is a simple solution.  Feed them two MREs per day.  That’s about 2400 calories in the full package, plenty for such sedentary types.  They won’t get fat on MREs, I can tell you.  It will also cut down on the numbers of personnel needed to run the place, since the rations come with a chemical heating sleeve (just add salt water) we can remove the need for any cooks.  From what I’ve read the prisoners been getting gourmet cooking and fancy dishes.  No wonder they put on weight.  Oh and they should have all the cigarettes they want to smoke.  It’s in the Geneva Conventions you know, prisoners are not to be denied tobacco rations.  These scum are not lawful combattants, but we should give them tobacco rations anyway.  It’s the humane thing to do.

    Posted by Michael Lonie on 2007 11 06 at 01:08 AM • permalink

  20. only included those the intelligence services knew about and that the actual number could be double.

    Are they talking about them doubling in number or weight?

    Posted by mr creosote on 2007 11 06 at 01:58 AM • permalink

  21. There is a serious link between obesity and dealing with the terrorists.
    What chance would there be of turning the person in Wand’s link at #5 into a soldier?
    At my graduation parade in 1954, the honcho’s speech was mostly about his fear of overweight servicemen. In those days anybody the size of the bloke in Wand’s link would be carted around the show circuit as the prime exhibit in the freak show.
    Nowadays, it seems a majority of fighting-age yoofs are grossly overweight and unlikely to ever be fighting fit.

    Posted by Skeeter on 2007 11 06 at 02:35 AM • permalink

  22. Tim’s still way out in front.
    Don’t forget to vote!

    And don’t forget LGF. They’re trailing behind Kos and Fark.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 11 06 at 05:52 AM • permalink

  23. This news could work in favor of parents whose children hassle them about saving the planet.  I remember my mother telling me to clean up my plate because of the starving children in Africa.  Of course, she never took my suggestion to send the food to them. But now, parents can get those smart-mouthed whippersnappers to clean up their food by claiming it will save the planet.  Think globally, act locally kids!  And if they really don’t like green beans, maybe they’ll soon realize that climate change is a crock and that cleaning their plate is as practical a solution as sending leftovers to starving children.

    Posted by RK on 2007 11 06 at 11:15 AM • permalink

  24. George Monbiotcombines the two, but I’m not sure which one he thinks is the most important.  I think it depends on where you live.  I think that he is upset because there are greedy bastards in the “developing” (into what, pray tell) world would like to progress beyond being merely “sustainable.”  You’d think that a self-defined progressive would be all for progress, but I’ve yet to find any evidence for this position.

    Posted by saltydog on 2007 11 06 at 01:51 PM • permalink

  25. Once again, the secret rays emitted by Muslims forced me to hit the “Submit” button instead of Preview, otherwise I’d have edited that post considerably.

    Posted by saltydog on 2007 11 06 at 01:53 PM • permalink

  26. Who cares about al Qaeda when there are so many sweaty, fat people!

    Saw one of those fat, sweaty people wearing a thong the other day.  Now that’s terror.

    Posted by Achillea on 2007 11 07 at 12:19 AM • permalink

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