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CIGARETTES FOR JESUS

Worst nativity scene ever.

Posted by Tim B. on 12/05/2005 at 08:36 AM
  1. I once heard about a Japanese department store that put up a Christmas display that included a black, crucified, Santa Claus.  That’s got to beat chain-smoking baby Jesus.

    Posted by jic on 2005 12 05 at 10:57 AM • permalink

  2. Sean Preston Spears-Federline.

    Linkage (Linked post appears OK; however, portions of the rest of the site probably NSFW.)

    Posted by david on 2005 12 05 at 11:26 AM • permalink

  3. Plus one increasingly common faux pas—what’s Jesus doing there? He won’t be born for several weeks.

    The cradle is suppose to sit empty until the 25th.

    Posted by tim maguire on 2005 12 05 at 11:49 AM • permalink

  4. Well, if you’re going to be that picky, then no one should actually put up a Nativity scene until Christmas Eve, since Joseph and Mary weren’t supposed to have reached Bethlehem until then. This, of course, supposes that Jesus was actually born at that time of the year at all; one theory I’ve heard since childhood is that He was actually born around Easter, but that the new Christian rulers of Rome wanted to give the people a Christian holiday to replace the old pagan Saturnalia festival, which occurred around December 25th.

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2005 12 05 at 12:16 PM • permalink

  5. A quote from http://www.capmag.com/article.asp?ID=2254

    “Historically, people have always celebrated the winter solstice as the time when the days begin to lengthen, indicating the earth’s return to life. Ancient Romans feasted and reveled during the festival of Saturnalia. Early Christians condemned these Roman celebrations—they were waiting for the end of the world and had only scorn for earthly pleasures. By the fourth century, the pagans were worshipping the god of the sun on December 25, and the Christians came to a decision: if you can’t stop ‘em, join ‘em. They claimed (contrary to known fact) that the date was Jesus’ birthday, and usurped the solstice holiday for their Church.”

    Posted by Franklin on 2005 12 05 at 12:36 PM • permalink

  6. Hey, we don’t know that the pack of (what appear to be) Marleboros actually represents an offering; maybe the guy who set this thing up just left his smokes sitting on the table. In any event, his heart’s in the right place (even if his cigarettes aren’t).

    Posted by paco on 2005 12 05 at 12:54 PM • permalink

  7. A pack of Marlboros is worth more than myrhh these days, I reckon.

    Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2005 12 05 at 12:59 PM • permalink

  8. Wow, they combined the top two taboos of western liberals:  smoking and Christianity.

    Posted by Patricia on 2005 12 05 at 01:04 PM • permalink

  9. “Wow, they combined the top two taboos of western liberals:  smoking and Christianity.”

    Well, smoking tobacco at least. Other substances aren’t yet verboten on the left. ;)

    Posted by Ed Driscoll on 2005 12 05 at 02:29 PM • permalink

  10. #7: You may well be right, Mr. Bingley; in fact, there’s even a terrorist angle to cigarettes. I heard a radio news report the other day which revealed that significant numbers of, for want of a better term, “middle-eastern-looking gentlemen” were lining up outside of a cigarette factory in Durham, NC with bags of cash and buying the maximum number of cartons permissible (299 cartons per person, I believe the figure was). They subsequently bootlegged the smokes up north and sent the profits to one or more islamofascist organizations. An alert tobacco company employee notified the ATF, and the “smoke ring” was busted.

    Posted by paco on 2005 12 05 at 02:34 PM • permalink

  11. Hey, after all they went through, Mary and Joseph could use some smokes.


    Probably Jesus, too.

    Posted by JayC on 2005 12 05 at 02:48 PM • permalink

  12. You know that somewhere on the Internet, there’s a Princess Leia and a Boba Fett with an Ewok in the cradle. And with the Wise Men and the Shepherds looking on like the Cantina scene. Gotta be.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2005 12 05 at 03:44 PM • permalink

  13. Well, that was a no-brainer.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2005 12 05 at 03:45 PM • permalink

  14. So, they’re saying that they rode in on a pack of Camels?

    Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2005 12 05 at 04:18 PM • permalink

  15. Thanks for that, Joe. I need a laugh - had 5 hours sleep and have been very grumpy today so far.

    My spawn thanks, you, too.

    ROFL!

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2005 12 05 at 06:00 PM • permalink

  16. The bigger question is: What Would Jesus Smoke?

    Posted by JohnO on 2005 12 05 at 06:14 PM • permalink

  17. #16 Jesus smoked rollies fo sure. None of that filter tipped crap for the SoG.

    Posted by larrikin on 2005 12 05 at 06:36 PM • permalink

  18. Dave S.,
    The Star Wars nativity scene should probably be located in Watto’s workshop:
    “In Star Wars, from the very early drafts of the scripts, Lucas had included the prophecy of a chosen one that is formed from the substance of the spiritual essence of the universe itself, destined to embody the principles of the divine.”

    The saddest thing is that I knew all that before finding the link.

    Posted by Semi-conductor on 2005 12 05 at 06:52 PM • permalink

  19. Andrea: Everything you say is right, of course, but I’m Catholic. I don’t make rules, I follow them.

    Posted by tim maguire on 2005 12 05 at 07:17 PM • permalink

  20. Please recall the scene in “The Breakfast Club” where Judd Nelson’s character reveals his horrible homelife by relating how he only got a carton of smokes from his dad for Christmas.

    My wife and I have a running joke whenever I buy cigs by the carton. I hand them to her and snarl, “Merry Christmas”. It slays us.

    Or is it sleighs?

    Posted by JDB on 2005 12 05 at 07:26 PM • permalink

  21. “Shut up and make me a turkey pot pie!”

    Posted by Dave S. on 2005 12 05 at 08:23 PM • permalink

  22. I’m still holding out for Paris Hilton as the Madonna…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 12 05 at 08:41 PM • permalink

  23. Doesn’t Paris Hilton lack a certain je ne sais quoi for that part?

    Posted by Michael Lonie on 2005 12 05 at 09:44 PM • permalink

  24. Doesn’t Paris Hilton lack a certain je ne sais quoi for that part?


    What’s that French for? Hymen?

    Posted by Dave S. on 2005 12 05 at 10:47 PM • permalink

  25. Real Messiahs smoke Camels.  Unfiltered.

    Actually, real Messiahs dip Skoal or Red Man…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 12 05 at 11:33 PM • permalink

  26. Paris Hilton for Mary Magdalene. Jessica Simpson for Mary.

    No-one has beaten Tab Hunter for Jesus.

    Posted by mr magoo on 2005 12 06 at 01:52 AM • permalink

  27. Excuse me? Besides talent, please explain what Madonna would have that Paris Hilton doesn’t. Chlamydia?

    Posted by Dan Lewis on 2005 12 06 at 02:50 AM • permalink

  28. At the store where we bought our Christmas Tree this year there was an interesting statue.  It was Santa placing the baby Jesus in a Nativity scene.  This was not something the store had set up, mind you.  This was one of those collectable statues.  Funniest thing I’ve seen in days.

    Posted by MikeTheLibrarian on 2005 12 06 at 05:38 AM • permalink

  29. And of course, American Messiahs smoke camel jockeys...

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 12 06 at 11:44 AM • permalink

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