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CHILD DESTINED FOR CONFUSION
Actress Toni Collette in 2004, arguing against free trade with the US:
Our children watch TV to learn. If they grow up with American standards and expectations in our relatively naive land, it’ll create such a stifling sense of confusion. They are already eating McDonald’s, drinking Coca-Cola and being swamped by Disney.
We don’t want Australian kids to grow up with American accents.
But three years later:
Toni Collette is considering a move to the United States, depending on the success of a pilot television show she is planning to make with Steven Spielberg.
Collette, who is in the late stages of pregnancy ...
UPDATE. Merlin in the US fears cultural intrusion: “That cute little Bindi Irwin was featured in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade. I shook my fist at her angrily for trying to subvert our impressionable youth with her distorted Australian values.”
Obviously a case of temporary sanity brought on by the raging hormones of pregnancy.
Posted by Sissy Willis on 2007 11 25 at 03:16 PM • permalinkWhat about those poor yank kids that grow up watching Steve Irwin, or those pommie kids that grow up watching Neighbours? Aren’t we polluting their cultures?
My childhood for instance was hideously deformed by watching that NZ show “The flying kiwi”.
We must ban exports of all Australian film and television products. They are more toxic than nuclear waste.
Posted by mr creosote on 2007 11 25 at 03:44 PM • permalinkDon’t go now Toni, Kevin just arrived to help bring back the Love (tm) into Australia!
Posted by Quentin George on 2007 11 25 at 03:57 PM • permalinkWe don’t want Australian kids to grow up with American accents.
Collette gets paid $millions for pretending to talk in an American accent.
It’s obvious isn’t it, she doesn’t want the competition, right?
Posted by David Crawford on 2007 11 25 at 04:26 PM • permalinkRemionds me of the French snobs who lament the death of the French movie industry because people in France prefer to watch American movies rather than French ones.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 11 25 at 04:32 PM • permalink15 Wimpy Canadian
French snobs who lament the death of the French movie industry because people in France prefer to watch American movies rather than French ones.
Never have seen, a French movie.
One, I couldn’t understand it even with subtitles, in English.
Two, such an awfully long time to sit with your tongue out.
And you don’t have to watch too many Australian movies to understand why most of them have the popularity of a syphilitic leper. Very little concept of entertainment in most of them, they are made to ‘tell our stories’, ie remind us that we’re racist bogan scum. Except for the socially aware residents of the inner city, that is.
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 11 25 at 04:57 PM • permalink"They are already eating McDonald’s”
Christ, I’d never eat that crap...unless it was a choice between a Big Mac or a heaping plate of vegemite.
Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 11 25 at 05:00 PM • permalink"French snobs who lament the death of the French movie industry...”
No sense in lamenting the death of something that was never alive in the first place.
Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 11 25 at 05:03 PM • permalinkWe don’t want Australian kids to grow up with American accents.
Toni Collette is considering a move to the United States, depending on the success of a pilot television show she is planning to make with Steven Spielberg.
Of course, this fair-minded progressive hasn’t stopped to consider that Hollywood is overrun with Australian, Canadian, and British actors, and that she is taking a job away from an American actress. Apparently, in her mind, cultural imperialism only runs one way.
OT: Journalist Matt Price has died.
Sad. I quite liked his columns.
Posted by Quentin George on 2007 11 25 at 05:05 PM • permalinkToni Collette (now there’s a French-sounding name) might like to ponder the spelling of Kevni’s party’s name. It’s that damn American influence again.
Posted by walterplinge on 2007 11 25 at 05:14 PM • permalinka comedy show about a suburban mum with a multiple personality disorder . . .
Comedy? What is it that makes so many of us laugh at horror?
And isn’t it a bit late for Toni to be saving Aussie kids from Disney? I still wake up with PTSD cold sweats triggered by my watching Fantasia in 1940. Those out of control brooms… The terror, the dread that was induced in my 6-year old brain has scarred me for life. No child should be exposed to that.
Brian, the last laugh will be on them when they realise that Maxine is Canberra’s version of Mary Delahunty.
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 11 25 at 05:28 PM • permalinkIf there’s anything worse than listening to an “entertainers” views on politics it must involve a parasitic worm boring through your bowels. Hope your private jet crashes into Cate Blanchett’s, you fuck faced, slap head.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 25 at 05:53 PM • permalink"A unique identity is being threatened by the US free trade agreement, writes Toni Collette.”
I agree. We need a strong tariff levied on Australian actors and actresses to keep them from invading Hollywood, and polluting our American identity!
If we don’t put a stop to this insidious infiltration, the next thing you know we’ll have Australians playing Hector in a movie about the Trojan War!
God help us if that ever happens.
Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 11 25 at 05:55 PM • permalinkWe don’t want Australian kids to grow up with American accents.
Unless they take a role in The Sixth Sense, and affect a Philly accent.
Our children watch TV to learn.
Then build some “schools” and hire “teachers.”
They are already eating McDonald’s, drinking Coca-Cola and being swamped by Disney.
Yes, the average Australian parent is a spineless jellyfish, unable to keep Ronald McDonald from kidnapping his child and cramming Big Macs and Cokes down her throat while forcing her to watch The Little Mermaid with eyes wired open like Alex in A Clockwork Orange.
American culture is all-conquering! You are defenseless! MWUH-HAHAHAHAHA!
I can’t forgive Blanchett for that scene in Notes on a Scandal where she is sitting on the pot,daintily whipping her ass
I’d prescribe more fibre.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 25 at 06:01 PM • permalinkBetween Steve Irwin, Crocodile Dundee, Fosters beer and Outback steakhouse commercials, and that tall dude who ambushes housewives in supermarkets and cooks them dinner, you can’t go a day without hearing an Aussie accent here.
Not to mention the bloghead here, who commands us like his army of loyal American sheeple.
Our only defense is Big Macs. Then you go and slap a beet on it and neutralize our counterattack. Fiends!
"We don’t want Australian kids to grow up with American accents.”
That’s why I had to burn my copies of “Mad Max” and “Crocodile Dundee”. So my grandkids won’t grow up with Australian accents.
Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 11 25 at 06:05 PM • permalinkYou never hear them complaining about how every second show on the ABC is choc-a-bloc full of gap toothed Limeys mangling the Queens’s english.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 25 at 06:28 PM • permalinkin our relatively naive land
Which reminds me I have to check if Cyndi Boste has put out a new album recently.
The gas pump on this album is pure 50s America. Check out the two sample tracks.
I can’t recall a Disney movie set in the US since, oh, Pete’s Dragon.
Posted by Rob Crawford on 2007 11 25 at 07:12 PM • permalinkIt’s the standard “left’ approach: when the money is going to someone else one must protest the injustice. When it’s going to you then it’s ok....
Posted by Fast Eddie on 2007 11 25 at 07:15 PM • permalinkToni may get her wish.
I just went to the DFAT site, to peruse the details of the Free Trade Agreement regarding culture, and this is what I got:
Following the recent Australian federal election, the content of this page is under review until further notice.
The latest from the Archbishop of Canterbury (one of the reasons I always pull for the Spanish Armada in those old Earl Flynn movies - futilely, of course).
So here’s the cached version:
The final outcome on audiovisual:
Allows Australia to maintain existing local content requirements in relation to:
*Free-to-air commercial TV.
*Subscription TV.
*Radio broadcasting.
*Taxation concessions....
Good to see the hipocrisy police are still on the beat. We can all sleep more soundly knowing the Bloghead is watching our every move for signs of logical inconsistency.
Is Toni to be the new Margot? Such a trivial life you bleating laptop leviathans lead.
Posted by Miranda Divide on 2007 11 25 at 07:40 PM • permalinkThe irony is Howard brought in new tax rebate rules for film in australia that is about to cause it to grow enormously. I know a few producers already have massive funding in the pipeline from overseas interests wanting a slice of the rebate pie. For this alone the Australian “elite” should get down on their knees for Howard, but of course, they prefer to bend over instead for Rudd.
Here we go - Paul Keating opening his yapper about how good he left it and how Howard stuffed it up. This line is priceless:
"His triumphalism over Timor destroyed the relationship Labor had built with Indonesia, which probably can’t be rebuilt or, if it can, only after decades.”
For the life of me I cannot remember Paul campaigning for the end of Indonesian occupation of that country druing his time in office. Is he having a senior moment or is this blood for oil?
#52 - Hi Pog! Pissed the winnings up a wall that week. Free money is the easiest to spend - ask any government.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 25 at 07:45 PM • permalink#17 “Never have seen, a French movie.”
Thats a real shame. They do some great ones. I find that its really hard to sort through the dreck and find a movie from the anglophone alliance that I want to watch. OTOH the foreign films that get through the barriers are usually really good, because the dreck has been filtered for me.
Add to that, the actresses… they have some stunning women in that country.
She’s really having a lend of us with this line though:
It was Australian movies such as BMX Bandits, Playing Beattie Bow, Fatty Fin, High Tide and My Brilliant Career which made me think and feel and laugh. And not only excite me to want to be a part of the world but want to be a part of the telling of these stories.
I also grew up in the Western Suburbs, during the same era, and I don’t recall uncle Bert’s performance in Fatty Fin being a life affirming experience.
There’s the hypocrisy and all that, of course, but I like to see folk sticking up for their own ways as long as those ways aren’t about killing my folk or imposing ridiculous medievalisms on us.
But that accent thing… come on guys, admit it. You don’t really talk like that in private, do you? You just do all that face twisty weird noise stuff to goof on us foreign devils, right?
If that is your real way of talking, then no wonder y’all haven’t gotten around to building a decent exportable fast food franchise. All that effort you put into all those extra squeaks, squawks and warbles in your talky talk must suck too much energy out of you to leave you enough to think of anything interesting to invent.
She wants to be closer to Chavez and Castro.
Posted by Honkie Hammer on 2007 11 25 at 08:03 PM • permalinkGood to see the hipocrisy police are still on the beat.
The police want to see my hips? Look, I’ve got a little bit of a spare tire, but it’s certainly not big enough to hide drugs in.
Such a trivial life you bleating laptop leviathans lead.
Whales bleat? Do sheep sing and eat plankton? I’m totally confused now.
And shouldn’t you have mentioned something about puking up the ashes of our failed something-or-other?
Not a good effort, dear.
Such a trivial life you bleating laptop leviathans lead
Baiting bloggers doesn’t exactly hint at the life profound, Ms Divide.
#30, If we don’t put a stop to this insidious infiltration, the next thing you know we’ll have Australians playing Hector in a movie about the Trojan War!
Now this would be hilarious! Especially if there were a barbecue set up somewhere in the battle. Smart casual, people.
Posted by carpefraise on 2007 11 25 at 09:01 PM • permalink#44
Speaking of Bindi, I wish the Irwins would give it a rest. (And I wish that the people who flock to interview Terri would give it a rest, too. It was touching at first, but now it’s just tedious. STFU!)
I’m over it. And I just know I’m going to be more over it after listening to Madonna King on ABC this morning. Ratifying Kyoto is the magic trick to make it all go away. That is what they think, Ratify Kyoto and like magic it will all go away. Sunshine and lollipops, unicorns and rainbows. Because Australia is the biggest emitter of green house gases, we have to ratify Kyoto. Shit. I wonder why (Aus is the biggest per capita emitter of greenhouse gases? Do you reckon it might be because we MAKE stuff and have a higher wage, and have a better standard of living than other more populated, less PRODUCTIVE places? Ratify Kyoto, then all the other nations will follow suit.
And the Desalination plant mooted for Qld, what a joke. It has to be, wait for it, carbon neutral. Apparently there’s one (desal plant) somewhere else that is carbon neutral. Apparently Qld owns the means for it’s power supply (some wind farm – what, Beattie’s new job, not surprising, no wonder he got rid of his pet dog.).
How about a bloody dam, we’ll be getting the rain shortly. They also talked about why there can’t be a Traveston dam, some endangered lesser spotted amoeba or some shit. I’d rather have the water.Life is going to be unbearable when everything is geared up for Climate Change.
Will SOMEONE please do something about these idiots? I thought it couldn’t get worse. I was wrong.I want to shout at them that they are idiots.
The people interviewed on Madonna King’s programme, one of them in particular Toby Somesuch – a rabid AGW exponent, probably trained by AlGore himself, was waffling on about in the last 12 months with the appearance of An Inconvenient Truth and The Stern Report we all had to take AGW seriously.
Well, sorry fuckwit. I don’t. It’s a crock of shit designed originally for Maggie Thatcher to introduce Nuclear Power in the UK, and it’s being pumped up and perpetuated because there’s MONEY in it. BIG BUCKS. In research and the wonderful side line of carbon indulgences which do fuck all except make millionaires out of fucking idiots like Al fucking Gore.
/climbs of soapbox before incoherence really sets in.
If anything is going to drive me stark raving bonkers it’s going to be this mass stupidity about AGW.
Well, at least Toni will be glad to hear about the McDonald’s.
Ah, yes, Miranda feels empowered now that Howard’s storm troopers won’t drag her off to the Antarctic Gulags for her dissent. Thus her bold strikes against the bleating laptop leviathans.
BTW, Toni Collette does look to be attractive. If she can STFU and stay that way, I suppose she can stay here. More eye candy never hurt.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 11 25 at 11:40 PM • permalink#74. Collette? Attractive? Eye candy?
You’re way too charitable…Posted by Honkie Hammer on 2007 11 25 at 11:54 PM • permalinkJust trying to look on the bright side of things, HH. ;-P
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 11 26 at 12:04 AM • permalinkTRJS - Toni Collette for Gina Elise.
Fair trade.Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 11 26 at 12:18 AM • permalink#69, Grimmy, I believe you’re on to something there. Our shared cultural understanding of the barbecue is an unbreakable bond, however much our laptop leviathans may bleat.
We had a RAAF detachment at NAS Lemoore when I was there in the mid ‘80’s. One Monday my weekend duty guy came to see me, upset that he’d found the Aussies barbecuing on the fire escapes of their barracks. He was disconcerted by my reaction:
“Great! I’ve been tyring to get them to stop barbecuing in the lounges!”
Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2007 11 26 at 12:31 AM • permalinkToni Collette for Gina Elise.
Over my dead body! Gina is a national asset.
How about Keira Knightley instead?
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 11 26 at 12:52 AM • permalinkOr Natalie Portman. I think we can send her off easily enough.
Howzat?
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 11 26 at 12:53 AM • permalinkKK? That stick in a dress?
GINA! GINA! GINA!Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 11 26 at 01:18 AM • permalinkNatalie Portman?
In other words, one whiny, averagely talented actress for another?
Call that a good deal?Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 11 26 at 01:20 AM • permalinkCall that a good deal?
Karma, dude. Karma. The universe must balance, else all is chaos.
/beatnik guru mode
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 11 26 at 01:38 AM • permalinkToni for Gina? Absolutely not. We’ll take Toni and all her blather (it’s worth a laugh) but you have to take back Olivia Newton John and erase all her singing from American memory.
Posted by dean martin on 2007 11 26 at 02:52 AM • permalinkThe Brisbane Weather Beacon, and icon for 30 years, has been turned off.
To save greenhouse gas emissions, turning it of is the equivalent of planting so many trees.
When will this idiocy stop?
O/T
Can someone out there tell me why the yoof of today, in about their mid 20s or so, seem to think that referring to themselves as “myself” instead of ‘me’? Here’s a demo from an email I received today:I have contacted Academic, and have requested that he confirm this ASAP to yourself directly.
(and words to the effect of this is not my job, blah blah blah)
To which I replied:
He tends to ignore emails from myself. I thought that he might take notice of emails from yourself. But I suppose that now the marks are finalised himself won’t be bothered?
It drives me crazy. When me or you would suffice myself or yourself is used. Can someone please tell me the rule for this?
A friend told me of an english teacher she works with who has the disclaimer on all her emails:
If you have any further enquiries, please do not hesitate to contact myself.
arrgh
Some guy had sex with Toni Collette????
Posted by Young and Free on 2007 11 26 at 05:23 AM • permalink#88
Kae, one should never underestimate the self-importance of oneself.
Posted by mr creosote on 2007 11 26 at 05:26 AM • permalinkMakes a change from “Wassup, ho?”
The way those schoolgirls talk to each other on the train… but the worst part is having to translate for the pensioners sitting opposite.Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 11 26 at 06:18 AM • permalinkTwo quotes from that link, kae, and I think my Scarlett-lust has been dimmed for the forseeable future.
Campaigned for John Kerry in the 2004 Presidential Election.
Celebrated her 20th birthday at Disneyland.
Those lines run consecutively in the trivia section, and it seems no mere accident somehow.
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 11 26 at 08:50 AM • permalinkYes, I’ve still got Gina. Well, not in the monopolistic sense (but damn I came close today!)
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 11 26 at 08:59 AM • permalinkGina for Toni would definitely be to our benefit.
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 11 27 at 05:25 AM • permalink
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Maybe she’s fleeing Rudd’s Australia.