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CHEFGATE
Did Chef fall, or was he pushed?
Yeah, just listen to his opinion about the whole deal on Opie & Anthony just last November. Definitely doesn’t sound like the guy who quit last week.
Posted by Jim Treacher on 2006 03 21 at 09:56 AM • permalinkChalleron — Fred Pohl confirmed that story in his own biography. The money quote from Hubbard: “One day I’m going to pull off a con that will make Barunum look like a piker.”
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 03 21 at 10:52 AM • permalinkPlease let this be the last scandal suffixed with “-gate.”
It’s as stupid a name as “Generation Y.”
Posted by Rittenhouse on 2006 03 21 at 10:55 AM • permalinkI agree it’s time to give -gate a rest. How about:
Chefapalooza!, Chef Jam 2006!, The Chef Conspiracy, We are the Chef, Chef Aid, Chef-o-matic, Chef Ruelz, Def Chef, Chef on a Bun, Chef McCarthyism, Chef Rape, Cheficide, The Chef Generation.
Too hackneyed?
Posted by Dave in Chicago on 2006 03 21 at 11:17 AM • permalink#2 trexkilla
Become the ruling body, dude.
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 03 21 at 11:25 AM • permalinkBut it’s hard to know anything since Hayes, like Katie Holmes, is constantly monitored by a Scientologist representative most of the time.
There’s something seriously wrong right there.
That certainly begs the question of who issued the statement that Hayes was quitting “South Park” now because it mocked Scientology four months ago. If it wasn’t Hayes, then who would have done such a thing?
Shades of the Cartoon Jihad?
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 03 21 at 11:35 AM • permalink“If I ever want to make some real money, maybe I’ll just invent a religion,” Hubbard to fellow down-and-out pulp fiction writers in NYC, late 1940s.
Posted by LeftieLatteLover on 2006 03 21 at 12:06 PM • permalink#16, Ek, that should have read : “If I ever want to make some real money, maybe I’ll just invent a religion,” Hubbard to fellow down-and-out pulp fiction writers, NYC, late 1930s.
His 1951 SciTo free novel ‘Fear’ was widely regarded in the early 1950s as one of the best science fiction books ever written, it’s still a good read now, pulpy, fast and fun.
Apparently inventing religions was a popular brain-exercise for SF writers in the 1950s, with Philip K Dick (A Scanner Darkly) coming up with at least five or six himself, but only in the pages of his fiction novels.
Posted by LeftieLatteLover on 2006 03 21 at 12:16 PM • permalinkChef is back!, sans the voice of Isaac Hayes.
Posted by EmilyJones on 2006 03 21 at 01:04 PM • permalinkWhat’s scientology’s take on homosexuality. I’ll bet it’s more like Islam than pro-gay marriage.
Scientology believes homosexuality is an illness that can be “cured” through auditing.
Closer to fundamentalist Christianity (ie, We’ll make you better) than Islamists (we’ll kill you).
Posted by Quentin George on 2006 03 21 at 04:26 PM • permalinkXenu.net is a great source on Scientology.
Basically the cult (since that’s what it is) works on brainwashing, blackmailing and legal threats.
Posted by Quentin George on 2006 03 21 at 04:27 PM • permalinkThe use of the gate suffix is a scandal - I would call it gate-gate.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 03 21 at 04:43 PM • permalinkWhile many of the traumatic incidents addressed in auditing are unique to the individual, some key incidents are thought to be common to all humans on planet earth. One very important such incident supposedly occurred some 75 million years ago. Scientology warns that until one has completed a series of preparatory steps, exposure to the details of this particular incident can cause severe illness or even death. Thus, these details are carefully guarded and kept secret until, at the level called “Operating Thetan III” the member is deemed properly prepared and is granted permission to view and “audit” this information.
How much does level Operating Thetan III cost? Is Cruise at level Operating Thetan III? Can we send him to Gitmo and torture him until he spills the goods about what happened 75M years ago? Are you willing to risk severe illness and death for the TRUTH?
Never, never, put your faith in a “religion” that makes you buy your enlightenment. I’ll say this for Hubbard, when it comes to charlatans selling spirituality, he is the gold standard. And the man knows his market.
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 03 21 at 05:30 PM • permalinkCheck here for the cost of reaching each level. Tom Cruise is either OT VII or OT VIII by now.
“Scientology warns that until one has completed a series of preparatory steps, exposure to the details of this particular incident can cause severe illness or even death.”
That explains all the people that mysteriously dropped dead after watching the South Park episode.
Posted by EmilyJones on 2006 03 21 at 06:31 PM • permalink25. Emily Jones, I don’t have the links to hand, but Cruise is apparently OT VIII. He reached it last year, and it was attributed to some of his behaviour on Oprah and with slagging off Brooke Shields.
OT VIII has been known to lead to psychotic breaks in people, due to the years of heavy brainwashing and maltreatment.
The most animated and convincing I ever saw Cruise was on a video of the opening of the Applied Scholastics unimaversity in Pennsylvania (I think). He was impassioned, emotional and honest.
And very scary. He is a true ronbot and I pity him, and feel for Katie. Nicole did well to get away from him.
In the case of Isaac Hayes, further thinking would have him pushed. You can’t have a highly public scientologist associating with a show that has just taken the piss out of everything they preach. Parker and Stone would have been considered potential trouble sources, but tolerated because they had been relatively gentle on scientology up til then. “Trapped in the Closet” crossed the line, I think.
And it is bloody funny!
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 03 21 at 07:21 PM • permalink#24 - “One very important such incident supposedly occurred some 75 million years ago. Scientology warns that until one has completed a series of preparatory steps, exposure to the details of this particular incident can cause severe illness or even death”.
So suitably trained Scientossers know about this, but surely others out there who are not, know what this incident is. Does anyone have a link? I’m all ears and willing to suffer severe illness or death.
Posted by Whale Spinor on 2006 03 21 at 09:10 PM • permalinkWhale Spinor, look at either http://www.xenu.net or http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xenu
Basically, trillions of years ago, an alien overlord used psychiatrists and clergymen to capture people, drug them, stack them in a volcano and then blow them up.
then he captured their souls and showed them videos, ala A Clockword Orange.
I am not making this up…
Posted by Quentin George on 2006 03 21 at 09:50 PM • permalinkI thought it was when this bloody great black monolith showed up and started bursting the evolving eardrums of a bunch of australopithicine, who immediately began cracking each other’s skulls with blunt objects.
Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 03 21 at 10:26 PM • permalinkDid a course with the Hubbardites myself back in 1979 or 1980. I was young, impressionable… as soon as I figured out these people had no more of the answer than the Catholic Church, I was on my way. Took them a while to appreciate the fact, though. I was still getting letters two or three years later.
OT doesn’t stand for Operating Thetan, it stands for Obvious Tossers. They claim all sorts of incredible powers, but how do they deal with those who dare speak out against them? Lawsuits and harrassment. Lawsuits and harrassment, people. My blind old auntie could manage that, and she wouldn’t know an E-meter from an eggplant.
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 03 21 at 10:59 PM • permalink#33 - Thanks Quentin. I have just spent an amazing 2 or so hours wading through these links. It is beyond me how people could believe such drivel. As Frankie Howerd said once in a Carry On movie, “my flabber is totally gastered”.
And James, our wealthiest man and the son and heir to Kerry is one of this lot!
I’m going to have a coldie today a little earlier than I normally do
Posted by Whale Spinor on 2006 03 21 at 11:29 PM • permalinkDan Lewis — They took a big hit with Battlefield Earth. They were years recovering.
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 03 22 at 12:07 AM • permalinkkyda, whale spinor — That would be the eruption that freed the imprisoned evil Thetans who possess so many humans.
The problem with this secret doctrine is they used to sell it in spiral bound volumes at comic book conventions in New York city in the early 70’s.
You probably don’t want to know about the spaceship.
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 03 22 at 12:10 AM • permalinkDave S.
LOL! Beat me to it.
Speaking of secret rituals, someone fetch wronwright, we’ve been exposed!
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 03 22 at 12:40 AM • permalinkOne day in the school holidays (I was between jobs, mum was a public school teacher), mum asked me to take her electric pencil sharpener into Sydney to be fixed.
I was sick with a kidney infection, the pain was in my back and I could barely walk. I had to get off the train at Central and go somewhere nearby on the Broadway to drop the pencil sharpener off.
That’s when the scientologists kidnapped me. I was so ill. I was too sick to be polite or put up with their ‘we just want you to do a personality test’ bullshit.
Are they still there, near Central railway station, kidnapping people?
We’ve come to a sad state when the streets aren’t safe even for pencil sharpeners.
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 03 22 at 01:08 AM • permalinkIt would however be nice to hear someone say “Scientologists run Hollywood and secretly control the media” instead of you know who…
Well, yeah, but reading through lists of celeb Scientologists (like this or this), I’m struck by just how much of a Who’s Who of airheaded bimbos (and I’m including the male actors in that) these people are, probably even moreso than the rest of Hollywood.
I’m sure the higher-ups in Scientology would like to run Hollywood, but their celeb foot-soldiers are likely too stupid to ever be useful to that purpose. That’s why they’re mostly using them as recruiting tools (pun intended), I suppose.
My favorite part is that it was DC-8-shaped spacecraft that dropped those frozen aliens into the Hawaiian volcano. Ol’ L. Ron must have really had a good chuckle on that one.
I just watched that episode here. One of the better ones.
Posted by Tommy Shanks on 2006 03 22 at 03:37 AM • permalinkI’ve checked out the Wikipedia link at #33, and for the life of me I can’t decide if I should be laughing my ass off at, or feeling sympathy for the diminshed mental capacity of, anybody who’s so f***ing gulible that they’re willing to pay multiple thousands of dollars to be taught that load of horseshit.
A friend of mine (call him Santos) was once strolling by the Scientology ‘temple’ or what have you in Washington, D.C., and the Hubtards were having an open house thingy. Santos approached one of the sidewalk pamphleteers.
Santos: I have a question about your religion.
Hubtard: I hope i can help!
S: Did any of you guys even like Battlefield Earth?
H:...[names changed to protect everybody]
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I wouldn’t be surprised if one of the—shall we say—stauncher defenders of Sciencefoofery didn’t cook up (no pun intended) the whole flap about Hayes, Stone, & Parker (if you think the KosKidz are moonbatty, you ain’t met a real Scientologist).
I seem to recall an article by L. Sprague DeCamp (one of Hubbard’s contemporaries in SF), in which Hubbard—who had just invented Dianetics—was speculating about his “next big thing”, which would pull in even more <strike>suckers</strike>true believers….