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CASTRO QUITS
Fidel Castro has announced he is quitting as Cuban dictator.
UPDATE. What was Castro, exactly? See if you can follow the clues in this fun Reuters quiz:
Ailing Cuban leader Fidel Castro said on Tuesday that he will not return to lead the country as president, retiring as head of state 49 years after he seized power in an armed revolution.
Clue 1: “seized power in an armed revolution”
"I communicate to you that I will not aspire to or accept—I repeat not aspire to or accept—the positions of President of Council of State and Commander in Chief,” Castro said in the statement published on the Web site of the Communist Party’s Granma newspaper.
Clue 2: “Communist Party”
A charismatic leader famous for his long speeches delivered in his green military fatigues, Castro is admired in the Third World for standing up to the United States but considered by his opponents a tyrant who suppressed freedom.
Clues 3 and 4: “Charismatic leader” and “considered by his opponents a tyrant who suppressed freedom”
His illness and departure from Cuba’s helm have raised doubts about the future of the Western Hemisphere’s only communist state.
Clue 5: “communist state”
The bearded leader who took power in an armed uprising against a U.S.-backed dictator in 1959 had temporarily ceded power to his younger brother after he underwent emergency surgery to stop intestinal bleeding in mid-2006.
Clue 6: “armed uprising against a dictator” (note: was this other fellow only considered a dictator by his “opponents”?)
Castro has only been seen in pictures since then, looking gaunt and frail, though his health improved enough a year ago to allow him to keep in the public mind writing reams of articles published by Cuba’s state press.
Clue 7: “state press”
(By Alan R.M. Jones)
That’s one cuban that is well and truly smoked.
Posted by surfmaster on 2008 02 19 at 05:52 AM • permalinkCan we all chip in and send him a get worse card?
Posted by surfmaster on 2008 02 19 at 05:53 AM • permalinkAre you allowed to quit as dictator? Isn’t that like quitting the Mafia?
Posted by Tony.T.Teacher on 2008 02 19 at 06:09 AM • permalinkThe NYT doesn’t think he’s resigning as dictator.
Quote: Mr. Castro also made it clear he is not fading into the sunset but pledged to continue to be a force in Cuban politics through his writings, just as he has over the last year and a half.
Posted by pog-ma-thon on 2008 02 19 at 06:26 AM • permalink#9 - Nah. The Castro brothers neatly tied up the succession a long while back. It’ll just be business as usual.
Posted by walterplinge on 2008 02 19 at 06:31 AM • permalinkSomeone should tell Fidel that Hell has reserved a spot for him from where he can hear the wailings of those innocents he killed or had killled. Maybe he can dwell over that during his time remaining.
Posted by wronwright on 2008 02 19 at 06:32 AM • permalinkI guess maximum-leader-for-life doesn’t mean what it used to.
Here’s hoping the Cuban people will still get their own, well deserved Christmas present.Fidel Castro (the dictator who stole Christmas for nearly 30 years) said in the 60s “The revolution has no time for elections” I assume they’ll take his bowing out gracefully ... or else. I wonder how long the Castro family dynasty will last. Inherited power seems so bourgeois.
I bet Fidel wants to spend more time with his correspondences.
in a 1940 letter to Franklin D. Roosevelt, President of the United States, Fidel Castro, budding dictator, asks : “If you like, give me a ten dollar bill green american… because never I have not seen a ten dollar bill green american and I would like to have one of them."
Posted by Col. Milquetoast on 2008 02 19 at 06:47 AM • permalinkOh Shit!
There go the Saturday newspapers.
All the innerlekshulls from the Sydney Morning Herald (that’s Sydney as in the handful of suburbs ruled by Clover Moore) and the Aged (more like the walking-dead) will be writing about Castro’s ‘great achievements’ - which will be classifiable under the headings of ‘Best health system’ and ‘Opposing the American hegemony’.
To all the Traceees, Deveneies, Phatties and that prize moron Michael Moores I say in the words of Charlton Heston, “Damn you! Damn you all to Hell!”
Posted by Toiling Mass on 2008 02 19 at 06:48 AM • permalinkOf course, there will be those who are critical of Castro for killing 14,000 people by firing squad, but I prefer to remember him for the magnificent job he has done in narrowing the gap between the very poor and poor.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2008 02 19 at 06:50 AM • permalinkI guess we can look forward to a nice bit of writing from old Phillip Adams lamenting all the injustices and crimes that the old dictator indulged in during his long reign. I mean c’mon, here we have a real live (just) dictator just begging to be taken down by the great Adams, just like he is always going on and on and on about John Howard.
Of course I don’t think such an article will be forthcoming as in reality Phil and his ilk tend to have serious boners for leftist dictators and have always turned a blind eye to their, shall we say, indiscretions. No omelette without breaking eggs and all that.
Castro’s Granma published the letter.
His Granma! Isn’t that sweet.
Such pride of her Granson.
Brings tears to own’s eyes. Such love!Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 02 19 at 06:55 AM • permalinkThe BBC - Nothing Washes Whiter.
More frank closing paras would have read something like:
Mixed legacy
Castro presided over the imprisonment, torture and deaths of thousands of his political opponents.
On the other hand, Pierre Trudeau gave him tongue baths and he often told the U.S. to f*ck off.
So he’s okay then.
O/T?
Journalist Who Exposes U.N. Corruption Disappears From Google
Will this be deleted by Google?Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 02 19 at 07:15 AM • permalinkHey what’s with all this hate? “Agile” will have a field day with us talking about that murdering pusbag dictator, that shitstain thief of two Cuban generations hopes and dreams. Don’t we want “agile” to think we’re nice?
Posted by dean martin on 2008 02 19 at 07:24 AM • permalinkIs the position open only to semi-senile leftards? It’s not too late in Alan Ramsey’s life for a career change.
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2008 02 19 at 07:29 AM • permalink25. Oh well that makes Castro ok then....
Batista was a bad man.
Castro is a bad man.Say this to yourself 10 times and maybe the ghost of Che will visit you for some special “re-education”.
Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2008 02 19 at 08:39 AM • permalinkGranma reports that murderous Fidel,
has resigned cos he’s not very well
methinks the filthy red
is long since dead
and suckin Stalin’s dick in hellPosted by eeniemeenie on 2008 02 19 at 08:43 AM • permalinkThere one was a thug named castro
Who thought he was a political maestro
Till one day his nuts
Caused gangrene of the guts
and the worms feast before hes deadso!(bugger fell at the last hurdle)
Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2008 02 19 at 08:59 AM • permalinkMaybe the old fart vapour-locked when he found out who hangs out in the street they named after him in ‘Frisco.
I expect Castro will turn up officially dead real soon now.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2008 02 19 at 09:13 AM • permalinkfclark
If Che were alive today I know exactly what hed be doing.
Clawing at the roof of his coffin..
Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2008 02 19 at 09:22 AM • permalinkHow do you resign as a dictator?
Didn’t Franco and that other guy, the one that gets the left up in arms, do it? Oh, yeah, Pinochet.
While I wouldn’t want to live under either of them, I’d note that unlike either of them, Castro didn’t leave a government moving towards freedom in his wake. He merely handed the throne to his brother.
Oh, and Castro will never officially die. He’ll be writing articles for Granma like a slightly creepier L. Ron Hubbard.
Posted by Rob Crawford on 2008 02 19 at 09:36 AM • permalinkOh, and Castro will never officially die. He’ll be writing articles for Granma like a slightly creepier L. Ron Hubbard.
and you can bet a bunch of hollywood types will keep the faith. Adeste Fidelists.
Posted by eeniemeenie on 2008 02 19 at 10:04 AM • permalink#32 Andrea Harris, Administrator -
I expect Castro will turn up officially dead real soon now.
No Andrea, put ... the gun ... down.
Posted by wronwright on 2008 02 19 at 10:18 AM • permalinkMeh, the sooner both of the Castro brothers are worm food, the better off this tired old planet will be.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 02 19 at 10:29 AM • permalink#42: Order countermanded! Andrea: Pull the trigger. And may I suggest using this little number?. You might well take both of the Castros out with it.
What was Castro, exactly?
A Democrat’s wet-dream candidate...?
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2008 02 19 at 10:53 AM • permalinkHush! A person can’t even keep a secret around here. Anyway, I think it would be more humiliating to be taken out by this, don’t ya think?
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2008 02 19 at 11:06 AM • permalinkthefrollickingmole
Good comeback to the commo dullard.
Vincennes
If you are still reading:
You were owned mate. That was seriously the most pathetic trolling effort I have ever seen. I suggest that you go back to pulling yourself over the Target lingerie catalogue and leave the serious stuff to people have have a fully developed brain.
paco,
You know assassinations must be first approved via a properly completed Form KA-PUT-88. Filed intriplicate.
Remember when Pogria chased Saddam Hussein’s helicopter with a Klingon Bird of Prey? Shot it with a photon torpedo. Com-plete-ly unauthorized. We had to substitute him with Stoop Davy Dave in disguise. Actually SDD made a better Saddam but then it went to his head, he started overacting, first with the UN inspectors, then the Oil for Palaces, etc. Damn that Stoop Davy Dave.
Anyway, as a result Karl made me add a discussion of authorized vs. unauthorized killings at the VRWC Continuing Education seminar. I had to drop off the very popular hour long panel discussion on stylish jack boots to wear. I still get mean looks over that.
Posted by wronwright on 2008 02 19 at 11:45 AM • permalinkWhat was Castro? Well, here’s your biggest clue:
Castro is admired in the Third World for standing up to the United States
Easy! He was a freedom fighter!
Posted by tim maguire on 2008 02 19 at 12:00 PM • permalinkI heard some dippy reporter chick on C-Span this morning who claimed that if Castro ran again it would make a mockery of the Cuban election system.
ahem, it never occured to her that the fact that the election is not an actual election makes a mockery of a so-called election system.
I don’t know if they can actually get any dumber.
You know assassinations must be first approved via a properly completed Form KA-PUT-88. Filed intriplicate.
Except those have already been filed. Have been for years—go check.
(Psst—thanks for loaning me the TARDIS, wronwright.)
Posted by Rob Crawford on 2008 02 19 at 01:05 PM • permalinkRaul Castro: “Here, jefe, sign this.”
Fidel Castro: “Uh?” *dribble* *drool* “Wha’ is’t?”
Raul Castro: “It’s your resignation, jefe. Unfortunately, you’re in no shape to continue your duties as dictator.”
Fidel Castro: “Ah? Doodies? No, not today.” *dribble* *fart*
Raul Castro: sigh. “Here, take the pen and I’ll guide your hand. There. See, easy.”
Fidel Castro: *belch* *dribble* “Okay.”
Raul Castro: “There, that’s done. Oh, Pablo, have you written any more of El Jefe’s articles for Granma? Oh, and get somebody to change his pants, will you? He’s done it again.”
Sure Castro was a freedom fighter - he fought against it all his life.
Posted by Toiling Mass on 2008 02 19 at 03:31 PM • permalink#46 richard: What was Castro, exactly?
A Democrat’s wet-dream candidate...?And we all know that the charismatic, handsome, spell-binding millionaire generation-change candidate JFK was most responsible for entrenching Castro into power by his presidential incompetence.
Now for Barack Obama and Iraq… ?
So far I haven’t heard a peep about the fact this tinpot thug in a dysfunctional island was responsible for almost causing nuclear World War III. - That, too, was the USA’s fault?
#32 Castro apparently has not been seen in public for 19 months. But that’s not because he’s dead, Administrator Harris. It’s just that he’s been so busy writing reams of articles for Granma (and Counterpunch.)
Posted by arrowhead ripper on 2008 02 19 at 07:13 PM • permalinkIt is beyond me why anyone would retire when living in “a worker’s paradise.”
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2008 02 19 at 09:13 PM • permalink#50, wron, that was Dave? Jeez, I just lost $20 bucks in a bar bet. I put my money on William Shatner with a ‘stache.
Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2008 02 19 at 10:43 PM • permalinkIsn’t it amazing that all anyone has to do to get universities to re-write history is oppose the US. How many times today have I heard the phrase “US-backed Batista regime”? The US did not back Batista. Batista was hated in the US which led a lot of Americans to volunteer to fight in the revolution (sort of rough-riders mk 2). Castro promised to set up a democracy and stand aside after victory. When Batista was overthrown the first country in the world to recognise Castro’s government was the US, not the USSR. It was only after his victory that Castro showed his true colours and unleashed Che’s secret police to murder anyone who opposed him. Most of the thousands executed by Che’s secret police in the first five years post-batista were his fellow revolutionaries.
And as for the wonders of Cuban healthcare - there was a big difference between healthcare for Cubans and healthcare for foreign visitors.
Posted by Fragglerocker on 2008 02 19 at 10:56 PM • permalinkTo celebrate this milestone may I suggest that a group be established called the People Against Communist Oppression.
Posted by Hank Reardon on 2008 02 20 at 01:51 AM • permalinkMeanwhile over at lavotory rodeo the old “socalism just hasnt been done right yet” meme get wheeled out again.
“...Now that Castro is gone or will have less influence on events in Cuba there is a great opportunity for the true flower of socialism to bear fruit. It’s unfortunate that Castro became sidetracked by the enmity bestowed upon Cuba by the United States and failed to achieve in other areas of the Cuban economy the wonderful results that came about in Health and Education.
We can only view with envy what really principled policy can achieve and with Castro’s leaving the stage new opportunities for socialism to flourish and provide an example of what is possible in a decidedly hostile region should be looked forward to by all socialists and progressives with eager anticipation...”
The sheer persistence of evil people is amazing.
Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2008 02 20 at 04:11 AM • permalinkI truly wish they would stop calling themselves progressives: they have not had a new idea since the 60s. Things like
Global warmeningclimate changethe weather, the ozone layer, etc. are just different flavours.Similarly, the depiction of the right as being mired in the past. It is only true to the extent that things like responsibility and individualism are under attack. Yes we want to keep what we have had.
Under the left’s precious dictatorial regimes they would be mired in the past, and the right are the champions of a better future.
That is why prefer to describe myself as being of the right - because that is where my instincts drive, not blindly maintaining the existing order.
Posted by Toiling Mass on 2008 02 20 at 06:41 AM • permalinkMy previous comment (#71) kind of reads like a TV ad - “That is why I use Crelm toothpaste!”
Oh well.
Posted by Toiling Mass on 2008 02 20 at 06:44 AM • permalinkThe Writers Bloc of the esteemed ABC Current Affairs Office of Official Propaganda Services (CAFOOPS) decided that the great Castro “had left at a time of his own choosing”.
This phrase was used, we must assume, to contrast the noble and in de fatigue able Fidel with our recently frogmarched HoWARd.
How easily our “guardians of all that is right and proper” swing between admiring one dictator (Castro) while decrying another who actually let elections take place - Musharraf. In the same bulletin, the ABC said Musharraf’s iron grip was weakening, not that he had allowed elections to proceed. Elections which, while not up to western standards, were not badly run or abused. Castro has no such record.Powerline reports on an AP piece which says in part:
The younger Castro raised expectations of openings in the state- controlled economy with his reported fascination with Chinese-style capitalism, calls for unspecified “structural changes,” and acknowledgment that government wages averaging $19 a month do not satisfy basic needs.
They add this comment:
Imagine living in a country where you aspire to the freedoms enjoyed by the Chinese!
Link#75 Castro Fideled while Cuba fell apart?
After Albania changed, the real service Castro did for the world’s young was to maintain a pathetic, visible model, for 18 more years, of what communist governements did to so many countries.
After Castro, will they really see the insides of North Korea exposed too? And Vietnam, and Laos??
We live in hope."Granma, what big teeth you have!” said little Red Riding Hood.
Posted by -keith in mtn. view on 2008 02 21 at 06:52 PM • permalink
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About time. He’s been dead for 18 months.