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CARBON FOOTPRINT INCREASED
Eco-shrike Toni Collette is with child:
In February Collette said she was looking forward to motherhood and had become aware that her body clock was ticking.
"I’m 35 this year, which is almost 40, which is almost 50,” she said ...
“Which is almost 60, which is almost 70! (Which is almost 80),” emails Jim Treacher. “If only her IQ was capable of such leaps.”
(Treacher also notes Live Earth-related numeracy issues.)
What a fine blending of genetic material- an airhead bogan who scored some well-paid gigs through a combination of the brief Australophilia of Hollywood and sheer blind luck, and a drummer who got the arse from a dreadful folk-rock ensemble featuring two tin-eared Pakistanis.
If nothing else that bastard should be strung up by his heels from a bridge for convincing that daft slapper that she could sing, the crime compounded by also convincing her she could songwrite.
The spawn of this hideous pairing may well be the Beast of Revelations!
You realise, of course, that to remain carbon neutral Collette will need to make sure that her baby’s carbon output is offset. The only true way to do this is to remove someone else’s carbon output entirely to make way for Junior’s.
Watch out, world. Toni’s got a gun, and this time, it’s ecological.
Posted by blandwagon on 2007 07 09 at 09:32 PM • permalinkWestern lefty middle agers sure take the cake for self centered narcissism don’t they?
Posted by Vanguard of the Commentariat on 2007 07 09 at 09:43 PM • permalinkI have one other question—considering that Tipper Gore (the wife of the Goracle to those of you non-Americans) rose to prominance by complaining about music lyrics, did they lock her in a steamer trunk and keep her with Jimmy Hoffa for the duration of the concert? After all, Hoffa supposedly is buried in Giants Stadium.
Lynn Sear: Cole, you’re scaring me.
Cole Sear: They scare me too sometimes.
Lynn Sear: They?
Cole Sear: Vacuous, arsehole, Hollywood types.Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 09 at 09:44 PM • permalinkWell mules my sheep, spill my latte all over my tofu on organic rye and call me a flyblown leftwing cause.
That sheila is a porkchop.On the law of averages she must be destined to utter something that makes sense soon.
Hopefully it will be “ there are greater opportunities for me to work overseas “. Sorry for wishing her on you non Australian bloggers. But we have had this tool for 30 odd years in this very city . I am a sharing kind of bloke and feel it is unfair to deprive you of her talents and wisdom. Enjoy !!!!Excuse, but I thought greenies considered humanity to be a blight upon Mother Gaia™. Thus, reproduction of the species is a Bad Thing.
Has Toni abandoned her envirotard ways?
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 07 09 at 09:47 PM • permalink#13: They didn’t have to. Tipper Gore climbed down from her Lofty Disdain for Pop Music Lyrics right about the time her VP hubbie launched his presidential campaign and started to figure that he was going to need to tap into the entertainment industry for funding. Remember: there is no hypocrisy in politics, just an endless series of amazing coincidences.
16 TRJ, I guess her ecological clock was ticking…
Posted by Vanguard of the Commentariat on 2007 07 09 at 10:05 PM • permalinkThis is why Im against large groups of envirotards being allowed to protest nekkid! Sooner or later they bump uglies and breed.
Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 07 09 at 10:12 PM • permalinkWith a pregnant Toni Collette heading towards 25,000 years old at such a rapid rate, I feel the need to ask.
WHO CARES? She is really a better example of why contraception is a good thing.
And if anyone wants to know what I think, Margo K is the dad.
Posted by curious george on 2007 07 09 at 10:40 PM • permalinkhttp://www.riehlworldview.com/carnivorous_conservative/2007/07/are-you-outside.html
http://www.riehlworldview.com/carnivorous_conservative/2007/07/clinton-link-to.html
Interesting links to what Gore thinks of those who protect him and OT lead poisoning.
Worrying news that Turkey massing troops on its borders in expectation of US troop withdrawal form Iraq if Dem’s get their rotten way-God help us all.
Lawyers already whining about Haneef’s treatment it matters not what happens to the rest of us just lets make sure we do not infringe a potential terrorist rights.ps love this new format spell checking as I type-is this thanks to Tim or my changing to Firefox IE 7 stuffs up computer
HM#27 - About the only branch of music containing sensible right wing, war-mongering bastards is heavy metal. Dave Mustaine has deviated from the cause before, but he seems to be back on message. See also Metallica’s, Don’t Tread On Me - Truly a glorious song to be playing whilst stomping foreign devils. Lets get it on with the rock on!
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 09 at 11:14 PM • permalinkAs for Toni Collette’s rationale-I am Sixty six going on 56 46!!!!!!!!!! and that’s the way it works for me- soon be back to childhood? and doe it all differently!
But I threaten the kids that I plan to live to a 120 and spend it all, the Jag comes first on wish list and bugger the gas- I hope to meet up with Paco in some intimate bar en-route and hatch counter intell! Hell, a gal can dreamMan, I have to take a sabbatical from Blair World for a few months and I come back to find all these romantic subplots. 1,618 and Tim, Hilly and Paco…
Is Andrea spoken for?
Posted by Vanguard of the Commentariat on 2007 07 09 at 11:24 PM • permalink#31 - Played back to back, both songs combine to create a most excellent juxtaposition - highlighting both the horrors of war and yet showing the horrors of not fighting. Kirk Hammett’s fret work is superb. Together with Lar Ulrich they created perhaps heavy metals most dynamic rythym section, allowing Hetfield to explore his demons… Man this rock journalism is a piece of piss!
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 09 at 11:26 PM • permalinkMetallica demonstrated their enviro bona fides playing Live Earth London. What a dreary lineup. Jeremy Clarkson should’ve buzzed the place in a Spitfire at full chat to liven things up. When’s Top Gear back on air?
Posted by Crispytoast on 2007 07 09 at 11:30 PM • permalinkThe one thing this daft tart could due to reduce her carbon stain on this fragile planet and she goes and does it anyway.
Any bets on what this eco-sprog will be called?
I’m tipping GORETTE GALAFASSI.
Posted by Jay Santos on 2007 07 09 at 11:31 PM • permalink#33 - Apart from me screwing up the rhythym section… oh well.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 09 at 11:31 PM • permalink#32 - Andrea and Wronwright have something going… it’s a love/hate sorta deal.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 09 at 11:35 PM • permalinkI have $90 which is almost $100 which is almost $110 which is almost $120 .... hey I can almost pay for that super yacht.
Posted by Lefty Wobbling Right on 2007 07 09 at 11:54 PM • permalinkShe’s pregnant? I guess I should ask for my turkey baster back.
Posted by Mystery Meat on 2007 07 10 at 12:15 AM • permalinkHey! This is comment #41, which is almost 50, which is half way to 100! 100 comments! Whoohoo!
Why is it that artistic talent almost never translates into wisdom? Is it like some sort of arrested emotional development issue?
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 07 10 at 12:59 AM • permalinkIs she getting The Lancet to calculate her age?
Poor kid. In 7 years time, it will be running around saying, “I see dead people”.
Hopefully, Bruce Willis will still be alive at that point, and kicking arse.
Posted by mr creosote on 2007 07 10 at 01:25 AM • permalinkShe’s 35, which is the new 25, practically 15, which is almost 5, which is just a baby.
Time for potty training, Toni.Posted by Honkie Hammer on 2007 07 10 at 01:57 AM • permalinkI love the pitter patter of giant carbon footprints.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 10 at 04:22 AM • permalinkShe was going to sell her $5 million home in Bellevue Hill and move to Leichhardt and thus be closer to her olds in Blacktown? Yeah, like only 25 kms away!
Mind you, we could have more respect for her, if she had moved to Blacktown itself, although $5m homes aren’t easy to find there. She would have had to settle for a more modest brick veneer bungalow, presumably like the one she has left mum and dad still living in.
Using the figures at Treacher’s/ Washington Post and calculating the US per capita daily carbon footprint the live earth equivalent is an astounding 441,000.
That is over it’s 24 hour life, live earth produced the same carbon footprint of 441,000 Americans.
Note/warning: an indeterminate amount of Harvey Wallbangers where consumed prior to the compellation of this data.
I’d like to see the baby grow up to become a foul-mouthed, Howard (or equivalent) voting plumber, who’s not at all ashamed to charge loveys of his mother’s ilk through the nose for his services.
Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 07 10 at 05:31 AM • permalinkSo because they act successfully (in a capitalist sense) or play sport successfully (in a capitalist sense) or perform modern music successfully (in a capitalist sense) we must pay homage to their exceptionally acute intelligence when it confers political wisdom upon us. Oh yeagh...hmmmmmmm
Or recent non entity palaeontologists who now rake in the 100’s of thousands of dollars (in a capitalist sense)
or failed democrat Presidential aspirants (in a non capitalist sense)......struggling to keep their ardour alive
#32 Infidel Tiger -
Andrea and Wronwright have something going… it’s a love/hate sorta deal.
What we have is we’re both trying to jockey into a favored position with Karl Rove. Think of it as a Goebbels vs. Himmler rivalry. When we’re around Karl, we’re both cordial and professional. Once he leaves the room though, we draw our daggers. That’s the hate part.
There’s also a little outstanding problem about some very old and priceless artifacts she stole from me. If she gives them back to me, apologizes for spanking me once when my back was turned, and concede my natural position of dominance preferably via grovelling on bent knees, I’ll let her live. That’s where the love part comes in.
Posted by wronwright on 2007 07 10 at 06:11 AM • permalinkMy 35th long haul flight this year, which is almost 40, which is almost 50.
Posted by Hank Reardon on 2007 07 10 at 06:28 AM • permalinkAfter the birth she could get a surgeon to remove the ovaries/testicles of the child.
She is one of those who FGM waverers isn’t she? It would also solve the problem of the childs potential to pollute with a child of their own.
Win-win!
P.s. I am kidding, but I’m sure some lefty moron will start advocating the above. They always seem to.
wouldn’t it be wonderful if the wee tonisprog grew up to wear suits, brush his/her hair daily, work for bhp or rio tinto or shell & drive a hummer? & maybe weekend at a farm with mulesed sheep & wagyu cattle
just on the hair brushing thing, why does nobody ever do that any more? why do people want head that look like they’ve been chewed by rats?
"I’m 35 this year, which is almost 40, which is almost 50,”
Similarly, for very large values of one, one is almost equal to two, for very small values of two.
Posted by Bruce Lagasse on 2007 07 10 at 03:00 PM • permalinkOT, but is anyone else aware of this satanic child?
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These people REALLY aren’t that dumb, are they? I mean, it must have been the pregnency induced hormones speaking, right?