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BULLS BANNED
The oppression never ends in Bush’s Amerikkka:
Senators in Florida have voted to ban fake bull testicles that dangle from the trailer hitches of many trucks and cars throughout the state.
Republican Senator Cary Baker, a gun shop owner from Eustis, Florida, called the adornments offensive and proposed the ban.
Motorists would be fined $60 for displaying the novelty items, which are known by brand names like ‘Truck Nutz’ and resemble the south end of a bull moving north.
No word yet on a ban for fake turkey nuts.
(Via Alan R.M. Jones)
UPDATE. Lee M. emails: “Fake balls might get you fined in Florida - but you’ll win a prize in Boston.”
First they come for the bull nuts—next it will be the fluffy dice and then the Pine Tree. When will this decorative oppression end?
Posted by walterplinge on 2008 04 27 at 04:05 AM • permalinkOK—pass the fluffy dice. That’s fair enough.
Posted by walterplinge on 2008 04 27 at 04:06 AM • permalinkAnthony McAuliffe is famous for his single-word reply to a German surrender ultimatum: “Nuts!”
Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 04 27 at 04:22 AM • permalinkIf they’re not in his wife’s handbag, I can only hope they’re on a towbar somewhere in Florida. It is beyond obscene that politicians can damage a company’s business.
He can have my balls when he pries them out of my cold, dead hand.
Posted by dean martin on 2008 04 27 at 05:20 AM • permalinkHillary Clinton’s lock box
Contains her male staffer’s love rocks.
Cary Baker said nutz
I’ll cut off my own putz
Just to get in good with the fem bloc.Posted by dean martin on 2008 04 27 at 05:59 AM • permalinkIn a spirited debate laced with double entendre, Senators questioned whether the state should curtail freedom of expression in vehicle accessories.
We need audio.
Posted by papertiger on 2008 04 27 at 06:14 AM • permalinkI wonder what the good Senator would think of these items ... kangaroo scrotum purses, keyrings, bottle openers and lighter cases? The purses have been around for aeons, but have yet to see or use the remainder.
I think the original Bulls Balls® , with the second generation Ball-and-Chain™ mounting system, which utilizes the side to side hole, instead of the front to back, preserving a natural swing, while preventing the annoying high speed flippity flops without sacrificing any heft, girth, or fullness, are a scoush more obscene then Truck Nutz.
That’s just an opinion.
Posted by papertiger on 2008 04 27 at 06:46 AM • permalink#16 kae:
I think it is a brand, just like Kookaburra cricket balls. I don’t think too many Kookaburra’s make it into the insides of a cricket ball. Sherrin still make leather balls for AFL, some of the other codes now use synthetics.The only thing missing from my kangaroo shop link above is a kangaroo scrotum stubby holder. Maybe the Red Kangaroo has the balls to fit my VB stubbies. Ha!
#19
Stevo.
Sherrin is a brand. They make kangaroo leather soccer boots. They are said to be the best boots because the leather is perfect for it.Google kangaroo leather soccer boots.
Kangaroo: Kangaroo leather is a soft leather that stretches and molds to the foot. It is the most expensive and results in a pricier boot. It is lightweight and high quality. Shoes made of Kangaroo leather are the most comfortable you will own, however you sacrifice some durability and shoes made of Kangaroo leather usually will not last very long.
Kangaroo products including leather.
Some years ago Beckham was in the pooh with the green-save-the-roos poms because of his kangaroo leather boots.
Sherrin Kangaroo Leather Balls.
Sherrin KB AFL Football - RedSherrin KB AFL Football - Red. One size only: Size 5 Ball. OUR PRICE: ... Genuine high grade leather. Full size. Made from Kangaroo Leather. Size 5. ...
Sherrin KB AFL Football - YellowGenuine, high grade leather. Full size. Made from Kangaroo Leather. Size 5. ... Sherrin AFL Synthetic Brisbane Lions Flame Supporter Ball 08 ...
I thought I might be mistaken about the kangaroo leather balls, so I googled.#2 - here in Five Wog, the favourite items are baby boxing gloves, followed by banners depicting the colours of various continental soccer teams.
I’m willing to sacrifice the bull nuts if it means throwing all those idiotic wog vanities on the bonfire.
Posted by mr creosote on 2008 04 27 at 07:33 AM • permalinkOn the subject of bollocks I’ve just spent the weekend sitting through a veritable trough of it (OH&S, equity and diversity and all the other palaver that has infested every place of endevour- what the fuck being difference-aware and culturally sensitive has to do with dropping explodey things on recalcitrant foreigners has me buggered) and managed to survive virtually unscathed, thanks to a most un-workplace safe mess with stubbies for $1.80 a pop. PFT this morning at sparrow fart with a hangover, and anyone who says the air force are namby-pamby whoopsies who mince about like David Marr with a milk bottle wedged in his bot is just a big brute and we’ll scrath your eyes out- or maybe that’s the navy. Anyway I passed (whilst experiencing the novel combination of anuerisms and hamstring disintergration), only to find out that it didn’t count anyway, and was just to “measure operational fitness”...bastards! (I suspected as much and will cop this again at least 6-8 times in the next couple of months). Should be all done by early in the new year. One bloody set of DPCUs to live out of until the stores actually get hold of some stock- they’ll be mighty whiffy by the end of a fortnight in the field, but at least I should be able to gain credit for the unarmed combat module by wrestling the bastards into the Kleenmaid.
A pig took off last night just after dusk on full wick while we were having a barbecue outside the 23 Sqn “Grumbles” area, and it’s shit like that that makes it worth the aforementioned testicles.
kae:
I am silly, you know that. Let’s stop hanging around and agree that kangaroo leather boots are tops. We need to get the thread back on topic and discuss the Florida Senate Bill. Or Truck Nutz. Why would you want to hang a pair of balls off the back of truck, I don’t know. Sounds like a fad. Let the fad wear its course. Keep the pollies away.Still here, ending a 19 day straight stint. Am stuffed.
Stevo#29 I don’t think you’re silly.
No nuts on mytruckcar.
My new car.
My beautiful new car.It’s a pretty silly thing to legislate about. Pretend balls on trucks.
Why don’t they do something about the underage drinking?
Or people who drive by zen?
Or unsafe vehicles?
How’s their track record on these misdemeanors. (They are misdemeanors, aren’t they?)
Habib - sincere sympathy. Did the pig fly my way?
kae:
I hate jaywalkers. I’m sure Habib will agree.Outbound, bent on revenge on Storm Boy and his cronies (I think if it was headed your way yo’d have heard it- had both ‘burners lit and was running on TFR). Enlisted, Stevo- I thought I was a bit of a coot but I did induction with a former Rhodesian Air Force pilot who also was in the RAAF 20-odd years ago- he’s got to start from scratch, at 58 yrs old.
And while it’s certainly not Parris Island it’s fairly arduous for a gaspy geezer who produces more second-hand smoke than Traceeeee’s awaking Aboriginality, thinks a quiet midweek evening is when there’s almost a 6 pack left out of a slab and for the last thirty years has been as active as Phillip Adams imagination. A rather pedantic WO didn’t think much of my situp technique and made me repeat the routine twice before a 2.5km run then three times after, just to get it right- about a hundred of the sodding things all up, and most pleasant after a night on the gas with some rather sound chaps. Back into it later this week, and pretty steady up ‘til a fortnight live-in in August (other paying work permitting) then off to East Sale for a few stints. They’ve moved the OTS from Pt Cook so now we’ve got to traipse all the way to fucking Gippsland (and no doubt it’s a real party town as well). Rumours of an F111 deployment to somewhere nasty are floating about- I’m tipping here*.
*For those furiners who don’t see a reason why we’re embarking on hostilities with seemingly harmless waterfowl.
#28 - equality and diversity training has been around for years. When I was lugging a big boomstick years ago, we were told that it was our job to doubletap (or in my case, 3-5 round burst) anyone that got offside - without regard for skin colour, eye slantiness, number of facial piercings, sex, creed or age. Nigs, nogs, gooks, spooks, dinks, sand monkeys, VC, goat fuckers, towelheads, krauts, frogs, wops, wogs, slants, commies, nazis, hippies - they all had to go.
As we used to say, “Kill them all - let God sort them out”.
Diversity. It’s not drinking XXXX one night and VB the next. It’s giving every zipperhead a chance to die for his country, regardless of origin.
Posted by mr creosote on 2008 04 27 at 08:34 AM • permalink#36. And you are missing an apostrophe. Here, have one of mine.
‘
.
Posted by mr creosote on 2008 04 27 at 08:35 AM • permalink#34 Habib - do you still have to do chin ups?
Posted by mr creosote on 2008 04 27 at 08:59 AM • permalink#41- Flex arm hang or push-ups, your choice. Time of hang or number of push-ups depends on dotage and dangly bits.
Plus still plenty of this as well, accompanied by the traditional obsession with hatiquette. And newbies also have to iron these horrors- I’m reasonably sure a road roller couldn’t put a crease in those things, baggier than these Congolese chappies’ clockweights.
Gotta go with Dave S. on this one. Fergodssakes.
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2008 04 27 at 11:18 AM • permalinkThem ain’t bull’s balls, boy. I just forgets when I closes my car door on my way home from the roadhouse sometimes…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2008 04 27 at 02:09 PM • permalinkFirst theyn came for my bull-balls, then they came for my ‘peeing Calvin’ decal…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2008 04 27 at 03:11 PM • permalinkIf “artists” can paint the American flag on the floor expressly for people to walk on, anyone ought to be able to hang plastic bovine gonads from their personal conveyance without fear of consequences.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 04 27 at 05:12 PM • permalinkThis is happening in Florida, right? Perhaps our revered Adminatrix could start a little sideline selling troll testicles.
Assuming they’re real too, of course.Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2008 04 27 at 08:13 PM • permalinkBut they’ll take my chromed naked lady mudflaps from my cold dead hands!
Posted by Deborah Leigh on 2008 04 27 at 11:13 PM • permalinkDeborah has, with short, sharp blows, requested that I point out I wrote #50 on her terminal.
Posted by Deborah Leigh on 2008 04 27 at 11:25 PM • permalinkThey will take my naked ladies from my chromed dead hands.
Sounds more like a prediction than a challenge. Okay, back to the drawing board…Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2008 04 28 at 03:10 AM • permalink
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I feel sorry for all those those cattle studs that will be fined out of existence. Or are real bull’s testicles exempt?