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BUCKETS USED

A feature on green entertaining in the Home & Garden section of the New York Times:

Perhaps the greenest party this year wasn’t billed as such. Deitch Projects was the host of a do last February for the publication of the photographer Jason Schmidt’s book, “Artists.” The décor was supplied by Gelitin, four male Viennese conceptual artists who wore high heels and buckets on their heads but no pants, and who spent the evening building a plywood structure over the bewildered guests’ heads.

Anthony Roth Costanzo, a countertenor, sang a 16th-century melody called “Flow My Tears.” And then the Gelitin members, along with three Icelandic artists, also men, from a collective called Moms, took the buckets off their heads and urinated - with dead-eye accuracy, said Dodie Kazanjian, a Vogue editor and one of the events’ hosts - into one another’s pails.

The future will be an interesting place.

(Via cider czar Rich Stadnik)

Posted by Tim B. on 11/30/2007 at 02:52 AM
  1. ...and then put the buckets back on their heads?  Yes?  Yes?  Austrians are almost Germans, aren’t they?

    Posted by Brett_McS on 2007 11 30 at 03:12 AM • permalink

  2. Sounds like a real piss-up.

    Posted by Evil Pundit on 2007 11 30 at 03:20 AM • permalink

  3. obviously the word “artists” was being used ironically.

    Posted by daddy dave on 2007 11 30 at 03:45 AM • permalink

  4. Surely modern art will not reach its apogee until we have artists simultaneously defecating into each others mouths.

    Kind of like Ouroboros…

    Posted by Quentin George on 2007 11 30 at 03:47 AM • permalink

  5. Is there a word meaning “beyond insane”? If there is, then it applies to these pea-brained (yeah, yeah, I know) idiots. Stark raving mad doesn’t even come close. And they expect to be taken seriously. Seriously?

    Posted by SandiM on 2007 11 30 at 03:55 AM • permalink

  6. Stage fright would be the only thing preventing me from taking part in this.

    Posted by Penguin on 2007 11 30 at 03:56 AM • permalink

  7. modern art really is a left-wing conspiracy after all.

    (found that link via aldaily.com).

    Posted by daddy dave on 2007 11 30 at 04:00 AM • permalink

  8. Greenest? Had they been eating green icey-poles?

    Posted by wreckage on 2007 11 30 at 04:04 AM • permalink

  9. ....And then they all caught the bus home….

    Posted by Olrence on 2007 11 30 at 04:14 AM • permalink

  10. eeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuw

    Bring Back Morris Dancing.

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 30 at 05:13 AM • permalink

  11. Monkeys down at the zoo have been shiting on the floor and throwing it at the audience for years…..Where is their Government grant…....An award…. long overdue reconnition…An OUTRAGE i say.

    Posted by sparrow on 2007 11 30 at 05:33 AM • permalink

  12. I’ve been to some great parties, but this one pails by comparison.
    Pantlessloons?
    Greenest because of the bilious attack brought on by this performance after food?

    Posted by blogstrop on 2007 11 30 at 05:39 AM • permalink

  13. This art thing is easy…....I’m gunna rock on down to our fangdangle new arts minister and say “Garret you epileptic uncle fester,i need a grant,a theater,the worlds largest glass coffee table to cover the audience and a weekends supply of Rum and KFC.

    Posted by sparrow on 2007 11 30 at 05:43 AM • permalink

  14. #4 Quentin,

    I’ll show my ignorance and say I don’t know what Ourobos means,

    but as far as defecating in each others mouths, the drag queen “Divine”, had eating shit down to a fine art in the early to mid eighties I think it was.

    Sorry mate, no link.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 11 30 at 05:47 AM • permalink

  15. #11

    Monkeys down at the zoo have been shiting on the floor and throwing it at the audience for years…..Where is their Government grant…....An award…. long overdue reconnition…An OUTRAGE i say.

    Pssst, I have an truly excellent idea for a research grant application.
    We just gotta work in the words “global warming” and I reckon we can double dip…

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 30 at 05:49 AM • permalink

  16. O/T:
    ABC newsreader forced off live broadcast

    WTF?

    c. 20 minutes for a tickle in the throat? ... pull the other one, Auntie

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 11 30 at 06:01 AM • permalink

  17. #16
    That’s pathetic. If he was a friend and she was upset what’s the problem?

    Technical problems. MFA.

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 30 at 06:09 AM • permalink

  18. That lot need rending in the gobberwarts with blurglecruncheons.
    Micturations in pails indeed!
    Bunch of freddled gruntbugglies I bet.

    Posted by Mike_W on 2007 11 30 at 06:11 AM • permalink

  19. #15 Hmmmmm, I like the way you think Kae…......Yes, Are monkeys throwing shit to express themselves or are the stressing out due to climate change.

    We will make a shitload I tell you.

    Posted by sparrow on 2007 11 30 at 06:11 AM • permalink

  20. #19

    We will make a shitload I tell you.

    No, no, no. The monkeys will make the shit.

    WE will take the money!

    he he oops. Be serious here, kae…

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 30 at 06:13 AM • permalink

  21. #18
    Isn’t that poetry dangerous?

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 30 at 06:14 AM • permalink

  22. #20
    Nice one….Now just as a study on the side to rope in say another $100,000 a year in grants, Each day we will toss in a dunny roll to see how many a scrunchers and folders.

    Posted by sparrow on 2007 11 30 at 06:20 AM • permalink

  23. #22
    And with the use of the dunny roll we should be able to get some research support from the date roll manufacturers. Even if it’s something like, I dunno, free dunny paper for a year, three years, whatever the length of the grant.

    We could emulate this person:

    Amount of Grant:  $3,856,636.00
    or
    Amount of Grant:  $1,432,765.00

    Whaddya reckon?

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 30 at 06:30 AM • permalink

  24. #11
    Way ahead of you.
    I’m just putting the finishing gloss on a confronting rap opera.
    A modern tale of love amongst oppression.
    There’s Magrok, a Dutch* environmentalist peace activist who lost her leg to a cluster bomblet when she was a human shield in Iraq.
    Her lover, an illegal immigrant who escaped from a detention centre where she was tortured for the amusement of the soulless private security staff.
    And their struggle to raise awareness of the dangers of global climate warming change.
    *One of her distant relatives was shipwrecked here in the 15th century, so she might have aboriginal relatives which explains her spiritual attachment to the land.

    Posted by lotocoti on 2007 11 30 at 06:39 AM • permalink

  25. #23

    We wont stop there….

    We can recieve more money by conducting experiments on the monkeys to see if we can make them feel guilty for their evil Gaia raping ways by throwing away the dunny roll and resorting to a bare hand.

    Posted by sparrow on 2007 11 30 at 06:46 AM • permalink

  26. Sounds like a cabinet meeting for the ACT’s Stanhope government.

    Posted by Contrail on 2007 11 30 at 06:49 AM • permalink

  27. The décor was supplied by Gelitin, four male Viennese conceptual artists who wore high heels and buckets on their heads but no pants, and who spent the evening building a plywood structure over the bewildered guests’ heads.

    Four Viennese artists?  Viennese?  Like, from Austria.  Which sounds close to ... Australia?

    Oh this is bad.  Would the four members of the VRWC who waylaid the actual entertainment and substituted themselves step forward.  Karl has said over and over that this secret organization must keep a low profile.  This is pure zany antics.

    And MarkL, please let Tony Bennett and his band out of my mead storeroom.  Or should I say, make them leave my mead storeroom.  Like right now.  Before they drink it all.  That’s my Sargon Sweet Mead.

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 11 30 at 06:51 AM • permalink

  28. #14, Pogria.

    Ouroboros.

    Now, armed with that knowledge, reread what I wrote, and see it all in a fabulous new light!

    Posted by Quentin George on 2007 11 30 at 06:57 AM • permalink

  29. # 24

    Sounds good,But I think you need her to be confused about saying sorry to herself and mabye throw in a relatives cat being run down by an Israelie Defence Bulldozer.

    Posted by sparrow on 2007 11 30 at 06:59 AM • permalink

  30. #24 - lotocoti, you have the nucleus of a great story. Inject some anti genetically modified, add a dash of capitalistism’s jackbooted swagger, and please try and snipe at (i) Christianity and (ii) any attempts to foster democracy, while you must also (iii) decry the support of dictatorships, apart from that of the proletariat.

    Posted by blogstrop on 2007 11 30 at 07:02 AM • permalink

  31. #29 - a cat called Rachel.

    Posted by Razor on 2007 11 30 at 07:08 AM • permalink

  32. #15 tee-hee! kae said “Pssst”!

    Posted by David Hardcastle on 2007 11 30 at 07:08 AM • permalink

  33. #31…....No, No, No Razor…Rachel is the name of the immigrant that after seeing the horrible death of the cat, swam through a mile of raw sewerage in the Gaza Strip to hitch a ride on the anchor chain of an imperialist crusie ship.

    Posted by sparrow on 2007 11 30 at 07:27 AM • permalink

  34. #33
    Where she was hit by an iceberg. (Iceberg was lost due to AGW.)

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 30 at 07:30 AM • permalink

  35. #33 - named Achille Lauro . .

    Posted by Razor on 2007 11 30 at 07:31 AM • permalink

  36. The ship, not the iceberg!

    Posted by Razor on 2007 11 30 at 07:33 AM • permalink

  37. Naturally it’s set during the horror of the Howard lost decade.

    Posted by lotocoti on 2007 11 30 at 07:43 AM • permalink

  38. #36….....The ship was gashed open by a submerged row of buildings that is now known as the GREAT BARRIER ROOF.

    Posted by sparrow on 2007 11 30 at 07:47 AM • permalink

  39. #38
    Well, it was obviously swerving to MISS the iceberg!

    Which was lost due to AGW.

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 30 at 07:50 AM • permalink

  40. The Horror…...The Horror!!

    Posted by sparrow on 2007 11 30 at 07:54 AM • permalink

  41. Standing around peeing is green? Who knew I was so cutting edge and avant-garde 20 years ago in college?

    Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2007 11 30 at 07:56 AM • permalink

  42. #28 Quentin George,

    I kneel before the Master.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 11 30 at 08:01 AM • permalink

  43. #42 shit shit!!
    I meant THEE

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 11 30 at 08:01 AM • permalink

  44. Absolutely spot on Mr Bingley.

    Ergo - getting completely maggotted is Green because that is the only time I generally decide to take a leak in public.

    And they want to take our beer fridges!!!!  Hypocrits!!!

    Posted by Razor on 2007 11 30 at 08:02 AM • permalink

  45. #40
    Colonel Kurtz!!

    John Kerry is coming up the Mekong on a Swift Boat!!!

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 11 30 at 08:06 AM • permalink

  46. #41
    Sadly, subverting the current paradigm just isn’t what it used to be.

    Posted by lotocoti on 2007 11 30 at 08:08 AM • permalink

  47. Undercover in the Avant-Garde:
    An Artist among the Artistes

    I like my revenge with a twist,
    So when all the others had pissed,
    I hosed down the crowd
    While shouting out loud,
    ‘I aimed for the bucket but missed!’

    (pause)

    Then dripping with urine, each guest
    Politely applauded, impressed.
    No hint of surprise
    In dim, jaded eyes,
    ‘It’s what we all crave,’ they confessed.

    Posted by lyle on 2007 11 30 at 08:13 AM • permalink

  48. I just threw up a little bit in my mouth…

    Posted by SSG Pooh on 2007 11 30 at 08:18 AM • permalink

  49. Bravo Lyle
    Insert crazy hep-cat finger clicking here.

    Posted by lotocoti on 2007 11 30 at 08:20 AM • permalink

  50. And there’s this admission of Al Gorian frugality after spending “two and a half months ... dipping 6,000 pounds of paper in [organic] fire retardant” which was then dried using commercial dryers in preparation for an event:

    Mr. Stark came to recognize, as have others in his line of work, that there aren’t yet enough resources out there to make every event fully green.

    Posted by Bruce Rheinstein on 2007 11 30 at 08:26 AM • permalink

  51. TIM!!!

    CO2dle!!!! RAOTFLMAO!!!

    I am SOOOOOO stealing that!

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 11 30 at 08:56 AM • permalink

  52. From the link; “The Guggenheim (etc.) decorated with recycled materials.” Including the hand off a corpse.

    Posted by dean martin on 2007 11 30 at 09:04 AM • permalink

  53. Who was taking the piss out of who here?

    I cannot stop chuckling over the Shaun Micallef skit (several years ago on the telly) when Francis Greenslade, dressed as a carnival high diver, climbs a 6 foot ladder, then urinates into a bucket. He promptly climbs down, and was asked by Shaun, “I thought you were going to dive into the the bucket?”  Francis responds, “What, into a bucket of piss?”

    I’m still waiting for someone to post the skit on YouTube.

    Posted by Stevo on 2007 11 30 at 09:11 AM • permalink

  54. #53 Stevo,

    “Talk about creative reuse. Still, even such a basic production involved an environmental no-no. In the week before the event, Ms. Kazanjian recalled, “I did see a lot of bottled water being brought into the gallery.””

    That’s who the piss was being taken out of.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 11 30 at 09:19 AM • permalink

  55. Making crafty things out of recycled materials. How cutting edge! Old ladies in Wisconsin and Oklahoma have been doing that for how long?

    Posted by dean martin on 2007 11 30 at 09:28 AM • permalink

  56. The NYT stole our link. Piss in their hat.

    Posted by dean martin on 2007 11 30 at 09:38 AM • permalink

  57. The melody Flow My Tears isn’t much without the lute part.

    If they used a counter-tenor, that isn’t even on the original instrument either.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2007 11 30 at 09:57 AM • permalink

  58. I’ll bet they didn’t use union labor on that plywood building. And the actors union doesn’t count!

    Posted by Merlin on 2007 11 30 at 11:23 AM • permalink

  59. ... four male Viennese conceptual artists…

    Oi, mate! I think I’ve found your problem…

    Posted by mojo on 2007 11 30 at 11:39 AM • permalink

  60. ‘Dead eye accuracy’, To wee in a bucket?

    Posted by phillip on 2007 11 30 at 12:49 PM • permalink

  61. #60 the person who said that was a woman. She thinks it is harder for a man to aim with those things than it actually is.
    It just shows how easily impressed some women are.

    Posted by daddy dave on 2007 11 30 at 04:44 PM • permalink

  62. Sounds like it made only marginally less sense than the average Old Navy commercial.

    Posted by Achillea on 2007 11 30 at 07:28 PM • permalink

  63. What luck!  More you’re a-peein’ artists.

    Posted by Carl H on 2007 12 01 at 09:35 PM • permalink

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